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Percy Weasley and The Prefect Job That Isn't A Vanity Role

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- Harry takes a couple years off and has the first vacation of his life.  There is boy snogging, and travel, and learning whatever he wants instead of what he's assigned or is going to save his neck, and then he goes to wizarding college and gets the equivalent of a Ph.D in history.

- Harry becomes the new History Professor at Hogwarts, and his classes are a hit.  He takes the early years rambling all over the castle, learning about the portraits and statues and people, with special emphasis on you're living history as it's made, every day.  History is people.

- Older years get field trips to sites of historic significance. These include Muggle locations, because it's the same world and many of the sites were of equal importance in the pre-Statute era, like Stonehenge.  Stonehenge also gets older wizard-raised kids an introduction to film and Muggle science, because Harry finds and shows documentaries about what the Muggles keep discovering about Stonehenge.  Some of it is stuff the wizards knew.  Some of it isn't.

- Another field trip is to the site that was once Tom Riddle’s orphanage. It is now part of a shopping street with restaurants, and Harry always buys lunch.

- He asks the kids what the lesson is supposed to be, and lets them talk when they get back.  The discussion is always lively and memorable, and different every year.

- (The lesson is this: nothing is set in stone.)


- Percy politely requests his job back.  The Ministry sheepishly gives it to him.  Percy then politely requests that it actually be what it was supposed to be, auditing prisoner cases.  The Ministry even more sheepishly does so.

- He rises through the ranks quickly, taking on more and more administrative justice as he goes, and becomes the youngest Minister of Magic ever, sometime around age 30.


- Dil returns to his kept-man lifestyle.  He's missed two years of Coronation Street.  It is truly a tragedy.

- ok and also helps Percy reach Minister, as his society gentleman of leisure


- Hypatia puts out an ad in the paper with before and after shots of Grimmauld Place, and is flooded with potential clients. Her first is Narcissa Malfoy. Malfoy Manor has the opposite problem to Grimmauld: It’s beautiful and ornate and feels like a mausoleum. She’s SO PLEASED.


- Sirius is horrified to discover he's actually good at this Wizengamot stuff.  He's stuck as Lord Black and does pretty well in cutting a lot of the bullshit out of proceedings.


- Snape is arrested and tried for the murder of Albus Dumbledore.  He gets off, barely, due to it being an assisted suicide and also done by magical geas.  He never returns to Hogwarts, pretty much disappears from the public eye, and lives out what remains of his life wallowing in his bitterness.  


- Hypatia walks in one day in their mid-twenties and announces it's probably time to book a wedding venue, and no Molly cannot have it at the Burrow, she's had half her children married off there already and Charlie doesn't count because he's aroace.

Dil: My parents would probably disown me if we didn't have it on Greengrass lands anyway.

Harry, fresh off his vacation, walks in, finds them arguing colors and seasons with about twenty-five wedding catalogs floating around their heads and open on the table, turns and walks back out.

- (He’s forced to be in the wedding party anyway. He pretends to mind a lot more than he does.)


- Remus and Tonks get married. So do Bill and Fleur. Nobody is surprised about either of these events.

- Ron and Hermione also get married. People are slightly more surprised, and then are offended when Harry scoffs and tells them they weren’t paying attention.


- Shortly after Percy becomes Minister, Hypatia walks into the kitchen one morning with a smile on her face and her hand hovering near her stomach.  "Guys?  We're going to be Prefects again."

P.S. -

- Minister Weasley visits Diagon Alley and greets all the incoming Muggleborns' parents every year, welcoming the children to the society and trying to make the transition as smooth and unalienating as possible

- Harry: Percy?  Do you have a minute?

Percy: Always, Harry.  What's up?

Harry: There's.  Ah.  There's a Dursley on the incoming Muggleborn list.

Percy: . . . I see.  I'll keep an eye out on my visit, and keep you updated?

Harry: Thanks, Perce.  I'm really hoping I'm wrong.  But I guess at least there WAS a reply to the letter, we didn't have to send out Hagrid or anything...

Percy: That's encouraging.

- so Percy is not entirely surprised to be introduced to Dahlia and Dudley Dursley during Muggleborn Orientation

- "Walk with me, please, Mr. Dursley.  I have some concerns."  *shifts to walk them casually at the back of the group*

"... Okay?"

"Would you happen to have any magical relatives, Mr. Dursley?"

".... Oh.  You know Harry.  .... I guess I know the problem.  Mum and Dad were... I mean, they loved me, but they really don't know how to be good parents, and they really hated Harry.  Downright mental about everything the slightest bit weird and always blamed him.  Then he left when I was thirteen, and they were like he'd never existed at all.  I... I had a lot of therapy in college, Minister.  Kept it secret from them, but I felt like a nutter for thinking Harry was real.  Turns out it's my parents who are kinda nutters.

"Anyway, I've done my best by Dahlia.  Read the parenting books, done the classes, always think of what Mum would do for both me and Harry and then take whatever middle ground I could come up with... kept it quiet when the same sort of funny Harry-stuff would happen around Dahlia.

"So if you can't be okay with that, Minister, I can't stop you, but please don't take it out on my little girl."

- It’s good enough for Percy. “Harry’s going to be one of your daughter’s teachers,” he tells Dudley Dursley. “He saw the name and wanted to be sure he wouldn’t be getting a student in a… similar situation as his own was. He asked me to look into it, because he knew I’d see you first.” He nods. “I’m quite happy to be able to tell him he needn’t be concerned. Thank you for speaking with me, Mr. Dursley.”

- “...How do you know Harry, anyway?”

“Hm? I was his prefect.”

- (Dudley doesn't quite understand this, because his idea of prefect comes from Smeltings, until Dahlia gets the badge.  Suddenly she has four adorable little Hufflepuff girls and it's like he's a grandfather.  Dahlia includes news of them in her letters home, she's so proud of this one, she had to intervene creatively for that one, this other is missing [particular Muggle things] something fierce so could you send a care package… It makes a lot more sense, after he sees it for himself.)