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definitely a thing that happened

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"Okay, sure," Eddie says. "I give. Okay. But I don't know what you want me to do."

"Just stay still," Venom replies. "I'll do the important parts." He pauses, narrowing his eyes at him that way where Eddie can't tell if he's just teasing him or not, or maybe somehow both. As usual."

And okay, so maybe Eddie could be kind of pissed off by that if he let himself, but he also knows he's not in any position to argue. They do argue, sure, they argue kind of a lot, these days more about petty shit than the big stuff, but he's really not in any position to argue.

He's lying there on his bed (their bed? who even knows what the right terminology is for a guy playing house with his parasite), buck naked and flat on his back. Venom's doing that creepy-ass thing where he kind of half flows out of him and hovers there like a freaking disembodied bobblehead, all needle-sharp teeth and slobbery tongue. Eddie used to find that intimidating. Now he's kind of just hoping he won't get licked.

The problem is, Venom's been getting antsier for days now. Eddie can almost feel him crawling about underneath his skin half the goddamn time, like he can't settle. So, like twenty minutes ago now, he asked him what the heck's going on in there.

"Heat," Venom said.

"So turn up the AC like a normal guy," Eddie replied. Which was stupid because he was already sprawling naked in the middle of the bed with the AC cranked. Neither of them was hot hot, and Eddie's not actually a fool. Venom says he's pretty smart for a human. Of course, Venom's not exactly a great judge of humans sometimes. Or indeed anything else.

"You know that's not what I mean, Eddie," Venom said. He sounded grumbly and irritable and slightly petulant in a way that was way more than normal, which Eddie guessed he understood because okay, he was being wilfully ignorant, and it wasn't like he could hide that shit from Venom.

Then he did the creepy flowy thing and hovered in front of Eddie's face, so close he almost went cross-eyed trying to look up at him. Not that he had any great ambitions to gaze into Venom's big ol' eyes while lounging naked, but he guesses some things in their weirdly symbiotic life he's just going to have to get used to.

"You could help," Venom said.

Eddie narrowed his eyes. "Help how?" he asked.

"I need sex," Venom said.

"So what, you want me to go hook up with some girl in bar?"

"I need sex," Venom said.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna find too many girls out there who'll want to have sex with us while you're in the driver's seat," Eddie replied. "I mean, you're not exactly GQ material, buddy. No offence."

"None taken," Venom said. "Your kind has no taste."

Eddie briefly considered saying something about how Venom didn't usually complain about his kind's taste when he was snacking on their skulls, but it seemed in kind of poor... taste, ugh. He rubbed his eyes with both hands. He looked back up.

"So, what do you suggest?" Eddie asked.

"You should have sex with me, Eddie," Venom replied.

He'd known he was going to regret asking. And he really, really did. But, well, it's not like Venom doesn't get his way in the end most of the time and this time's no goddamn different, so here they are.

"Sure, okay, whatever you say," Eddie says, exasperated. "I'm ready when you are. Let's get this show on the road."

He expects Venom to say something witty, or at least something he thinks is witty, but all he does is move instead. His face peels apart in that really freaking disconcerting way it does but it doesn't flow back into Eddie - the weird not-quite-liquid, not-quite-solid, freaking non-Newtonian black mass that is Venom flows down, his contact point with Eddie's body moving lower and lower till it's basically a column of wibbly goo where his dick should be.

"Sure, because that's hot," Eddie mutters, and Venom in his head just growls at him like a disgruntled housecat, assuming said housecat came from outer space. Then he moves again, splitting down the middle like someone just parted a sticky black sea; he's connected to Eddie by two strips plugged into his hips and all Eddie can really say about it is he's relieved to see his dick's still there. Except then Venom moves again, and Eddie huffs out a breath as he watches.

"Well, I guess this is really happening," he says, as the part of Venom that's not inside him forms what he could only call, even with his flair for the dramatic, a big floating ass.

"Of course it is," Venom replies, inside his head. "You agreed."

"Sure, I guess I did." Eddie looks closer. He frowns. "Hey, is that my ass?" he asks.

"Of course it is," Venom says, again. A lot of things about this seem to be of course.

"Can I just stop you for a second and ask why?"

"Because the only other human template I have is your ex-fiancée. That seemed...creepy."

Eddie gestures at the big floating ass. "Creepier than this?"



Which kind of settles that, Eddie guesses, and Venom must too because the next thing Eddie knows, Venom's moved again. The big floating ass seems a whole lot less floating because it's come right down on Eddie's dick and it's the weirdest damned thing, feeling it kind of writhing around around him, teasing him, tendrils of symbiote wrapped around his dick and teasing at the tip, squeezing his balls like a weird-ass hand and flicking across his perineum down toward his asshole. But it turns out his dick's got even less sense than he has because he's basically instantaneously hard. In his head, Venom hums approvingly.

Then things change. The tendrils retract. Everything gets kind of...firm. In no damn time at all, the floating ass around his dick really feels like a floating ass around his dick. He groans before he can stop himself. When he brings his hands up to the floating ass's floating hips and squeezes, it almost feels like skin. When he braces his heels and pushes up, jeez, it's like the real thing. Venom feels slick and tight around him. If he doesn't think too hard about how he's basically fucking himself in the ass as well as fucking Venom, it's actually pretty hot.

And okay, so maybe he doth protest too much because it's not like they've not experimented before now: there was that one time he was feeling kind of low so Venom started fucking his ass from the inside as some kind of a distraction, like that was just another thing they did; there was that one time he'd run into Annie on a date - her date, not his - and Venom's solution when they got back home was to do that weird multi-arm tentacle thing he does, tie him up with his butt in the air and screw him till he'd come three times. So maybe this isn't so much different, but it really feels like it is.

Venom's growling in his head like someone just jammed a set of steak knives down the garbage disposal and Eddie holds on tight and pushes up hard and feels his breath start getting short. He's watching his dick push into this weird part of Venom, watching its hole stretch to take him in, and he kind of wonders what it might be like to do this with a man-sized Venom. Maybe later, he'll ask about that. Or maybe he won't have to - Venom's sort of in his head.

Venom squeezes and that's it, that's the end of it: Eddie comes with a jerk and a groan like he just pulled a muscle and then goes limp like a dishrag on the sheets. The floating ass unforms as Venom moves and Eddie's finds his own come deposited all over his belly, but hey, it's not exactly the first time that's happened.

"That's disgusting," Venom says. He's hovering again, just inches away Eddie's face.

"Dude, you eat heads," Eddie replies. The way Venom mumbles means maybe he takes his point. And honestly, he looks satisfied and not grossed out at all. "So, is that all you need?"

"Hmm, perhaps," Venom says. "But we should try again tomorrow. Just in case."

Venom licks his face and Eddie rolls his eyes, then closes them.

He doesn't say no. Venom will know that means yes.