tip: arthur merlin words>1000 sort:hits
Not too bad as chapters go, the first two-thirds covering the battle scene are well done. That being said the part where all might pretty much kidnaps midoriya doesn't really explain his thought process. All you showed in the fight scene was him noticing her bravery and even that in passing only. And then the next day he goes off and grabs her and then dumps it all at her feet how he wants her to be his heir. All he saw was an admittedly Brave little girl protecting her friends the best of her abilities but that's it. Something he should see probably at least once a month. What makes her so special? What drew his attention to her above every other civilian in a dire situation protecting their friend?
Last Edited Thu 14
Yeah, to be honest, that part was giving me troubleAnd I was so focused on trying to make a good fight scene that I didn't spend as much time on that as should have...It got to the point where I just threw my hands up and went fuck it and moved on. I'll try to better explain things moving forward.Thanks for the feedback, its been really helpful!And as always, thanks for taking the time to read!
And thank you for the story