Comment on Can't Live Without You

  1. How did I miss this gift? I only found it because I was browsing through my gift fics list again. Guess the notification didn't make my Priority Inbox :(

    Yes, this works for emotional whump! I appreciate it ^_^

    The bit about John (a doctor) considering Sherlock's lifestyle as a contributing factor to (presumably) fairly young death, that hits strongly enough. Especially when he's used to dealing with the curse of having information that others won't heed -- "XYZ is going to kill you early" and yet you need to just stand back and watch them walk themselves to an early grave. (Or, in my case, "I know a lot of ways you teens (my niephlings) could be hurt sexually, and man I hope it doesn't happen, I hope you make choices that avoid the problems, but I can't be too pushy with my information or it'll just drive you away!" Sigh.)

    I've never quite grasped the mindset that leads one party to kill themselves over the other party's death. Maybe a parent mourning a child enough that they wither away rather than face life without their kid. And I can see Reese being unbalanced enough to not survive Finch's death, but, in general, it shows an unhealthy (I suppose I should upgrade that to "lethal") addiction to the other party, an inability to see yourself separately from them. The vast majority of people lose their loved ones at some point and just keep going; a small percentage of people with severe mental-health issues choose death over mourning. It's not romantic and, in a lot of cases, I see it as a slap in the face of the dead partner, especially in cases where the one person died in order to save the other person (as was the case at the end of POI).

    But just because it's problematic doesn't mean it can't rouse an effective emotion, and you wrote it well, saying a lot in just a few words. Thank you for the gift ^_^

    Comment Actions
    1. Thank you for your comment. I'm glad that you finally found it.

      It is (BBC) canon that John, contemplates suicide after he comes home from Afghanistan, wounded and unable to be a surgeon any more. He's depressed and lonely until he meets Sherlock, who brings excitement back into his life, and gives him some purpose. Their lives are so intertwined and their relationship is more complicated than just friends or even lovers.

      I have heard of couples where after the death of one person the other gives up and dies a short time after, sometimes only a matter of months.

      And because Sherlock and John lived together for so long and their relationship was so deep, it felt right to me that John would commit suicide in his grief.

      Comment Actions
      1. Ah, yes, I'd forgotten that detail. Canonically, this makes sense, and fits with the John presented in the show. (And, in case it's not clear, I have no problem with people putting together scenarios like this, regardless; it's just difficult for me to wrap my head around that mindset.)

        And yeah, there are some people who give up and die because their partners died. I assume this is a case with people who've shared many decades together, but I would also have to wonder if there isn't some additional factor -- undiagnosed mental illness -- at play. It is simply not normal for human beings to pin their very lives to another person so strongly that losing that person literally kills them.

        Comment Actions