1 - 20 of 415 Works in Absurd

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    During a free-for-all match between Sonic, Pikachu, Wolf, and Palutena, something goes wrong and a new form of life is unleashed upon the world. As Wolf O'Donnell awoke that day from chaotic dreams he found himself lying transformed on the battlefield into a great goddess -大神-. Now, follow Wolfutena as he explores his newfound powers. Be warned, though: sinister forces are attempting to disrupt his fun. This is his story and nothing less!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,801
    Chapters:
    6/13
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    121
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m not griping,” Nova said defensively. “I’m guilty. I never killed anyone before.”

    “Yeah, well, the first time I had to kill a ‘Con, how do you think I felt?” Bulkhead asked. “Or Jackie, or Bee, or Optimus? How do you think Optimus feels? I’ll tell you. He feels like slag all the time, but he knows he’s gotta fight. Without him trying, more people are gonna get hurt, and if he can stop the bad guys from doing that, you bet he will.”

    “But he hasn’t killed his brother,” Nova said. “I have.”

    “Optimus might have to kill his own brother, one day, and for now, he’s got no choice but to assume that Megatron’s his enemy. How do you think he’s feeling about that?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    142,278
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    925
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Don’t tell me you asked me to come here because you didn’t want me to go with her? How possessive are you?” asked Abby mockingly

    “I’m not possessive” complained Ellie “I just don’t know you”

    “So you asked me to sleep with you instead?” joked Abby

    She turned to face Ellie. The redhead turned brightly red and her green eyes widened at the implication.

    “I did not… I mean… we” stuttered Ellie

    She looked at her bed. Abby followed her gaze. The bed wasn’t so big. They would fit but barely.

    “It’s not like that at all” snapped Ellie

    Or
    What if instead of running into Tommy and Joel Abby had ended up where Dina and Ellie were?
    Featuring Abby’s bisexual panic, small bisexual goddess Dina and jealous useless lesbian Ellie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,951
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1831
  4. Tags
    Summary

    This is a collection of stories that I had deleted from An Archive Of Our Own, typically because either I was embarrassed by them, or because they were under-performing. I changed the title to reflect the fact that most of them are dirty as hell.
    Contents:
    1. Selfish: Seolhyun, of AOA, is spending the night alone at a hotel, one where the lucky boys of BTS are staying as well. And Seolhyun is feeling so greedy tonight... (porn)
    2. Jealousy: Johyun is pretty much the only member of Berry Good who is widely recognized. The other members know this, and by golly are they upset by it... (porn)
    3. JRE's Lucky Night (porn with CLC)
    4. Dinner For Tinashe (porn with DIA)
    5. Girls in the Love Motel (porn with GWSN)
    6. Hyunjoo (surreal fantasy/horror with April and KARD)
    7. Hoobaes (porn with Aespa & Kim Taeyeon(SNSD)
    8. The Garo Sero Institute Strikes Again (cringe)
    9. The Worst Possible Response To A Scandal (Gfriend)(Extreme Cringe)
    10. Squirtle Wars! (Twice's Nayeon/Brave Girls)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,778
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    1739
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Jaehyun wakes up in a body that's not his. Or, well, it's his, and then some.

    Also, Sicheng has never touched tiddies before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,125
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    41
    Hits:
    440
  6. Tags
    Summary

    I am Kaithleen, a 14-year-old depressed girl who hides a dark secret...

    When night falls, I like to run across the streets without looking left and right, hoping to be run over someday. The only driving force in my life is waiting for the day I die. I scream, but no one hears me.
    Especially at school, I am constantly reminded of this bleak reality: I'm surrounded by idiots!
    The perfect manual for understanding this mental cancer is:
    Step 1: laugh
    Step 2: Step 1

    Thank

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,279
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    30
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Somi's been having a rough time since her debut. She decides to hang out at a party with BLACKPINK. Where everything goes straight to Hell...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,637
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    541
  8. Tags
    Summary

    ..gdzie Yuuri jest samozwańczym geniuszem literackim, a Viktor zadufanym w sobie fejmem i adminem kilku najliczniejszych Facebookowych grupek, zrzeszających użytkowników Yakkova - popularnej platformy dla pisarzy-amatorów.
    Kto by pomyślał, że jeden niesłuszny ban zmieni ich życie na zawsze?

    (To napisane na spontanie dla odstresowania się. Proszę nie traktować tego poważnie. Powiedzmy że miałam atak.)

    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    9,094
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Hits:
    12
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The Uzumaki twins are terrifying, odd, and everything in between. A stygian pair. Grotesque, prodigal opposites who took humor only in the suffering of others. To the villagers, they were as demonic as the creature halved between them.

    Not like the chain-wielding, telepathic freaks cared all that much, though. They'd just keep holding hands and waltz along, leaving corpses and frightened citizens in their wake..

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,718
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    233
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Garść hetaliowych drabbli, okruszków, miniatur i niepoprawnych pomysłów, just for your entertainment. Komedia, oklepane motywy, absurd bez większego sensu, pisane z doskoku one-shoty. Zbiorek wszystkiego, co jest zbyt małe na własną opowieść i miejsce na ewentualne eksperymenty z formą. Branie czegokolwiek tutaj na poważnie - niezalecane.
    Shipy przeróżne, głównie LietPol i PrusPol, ale są też bezparingowce.

    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    26,643
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    145
  11. Tags
    Summary

    At the annual Naboo Peace Festival, Anakin hatches a scheme to get his favorite ship to sail. Things go about as well as they usually do.
    ...
    "Ah, yes, the Lady Kryze," said Obi-wan. Anakin could see the curl of his lip in his minds eye, "I heard tell that you loved me."
    "Me? By the ka'ra, I love thee no more than usual." In his imagination, Satine raised a brow, "And you, sir knight? Have I been reliably informed that you love me?"
    Anakin slapped a hand over Ahsoka's mouth as it opened.
    "Force, no!" Obi-wan sounded scandalized, "No more than usual."
    "I see. It was a jest meant with something quite like cruelty then."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,433
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    234
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Mr. Puggins just wants to have a quiet drink at Friendly's Pub with his best choom, but when he accidentally stumbles into a Night City Police Department crime scene he can't help but fall for the handsome and heavy-handed Sergeant Dobs. Will they both feel love's gentle nip or will Mr. Puggins find himself in the doghouse?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,578
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Merry and Éowyn decide to try to follow Aragorn and company through the Paths of the Dead. Instead, they find someone they do not expect, and she's been waiting a long time.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,582
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    306
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Taehyung comes home one day and discovers that his cat is no longer a cat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,003
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    515
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Too much time with a certain Shadow has changed Ren. So, he decided to change everything around him, starting with his wonderful teammates. They don't mind, of course; they don't even know its happening.

    Warning: Game spoilers and overall weirdness. This one was pretty experimental and way outside my usual wheelhouse. Contains subtle mind control, various transformations, hyper cock/arse/breasts, and other exaggerated acts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,849
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    14296
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Il y avait aussi eu de bons moments entre eux. Au final, n’est-ce pas ce qui comptait le plus ? Série de textes sur la relation entre Hook et Neal. Hookfire. Potentiel UA.

    Series
    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    19,892
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    465
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Marvelous Chester wakes up in the Undead Asylum feeling, well, a bit...undead.

    Also, he has morning wood like nobody's business, and there's a preferred solution to that...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,901
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    74
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Когда Саске ушёл к Орочимару, Наруто умотался за тридевять земель с Джирайей, а на работе случилось выгорание, Хатаке Какаши понадобилась ... терапия.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    2,311
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    19
  19. Tags
    Summary

    C’était une belle journée, mais Gabriel Agreste ne semblait pas moins sérieux qu’à son habitude. À vrai dire, chose qui aurait semblé impossible jusque là, il arborait un air encore moins amicale qu’habituellement et semblait prêt à trucider quiconque tentait de l’approcher. Évidemment, il y avait une raison à ça. La même qui l’avait poussé à sortir de chez lui alors qu’il entretenait une réputation de casanier extrême.

    Series
    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    340
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    12
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Not every story has to be a big tale, full wonder and enthusiasm. Sometimes, depending on whatever it may be, they can consist of nothing but craziness and ridiculousness that the mind is beyond comprehending. This is where those types of stories belong.

    Sometimes a silly idea or two for some crazy story will pop into my head, and this is where I'll be writing those out for... entertainment?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,761
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    312

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