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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Hi! I'm Sierra Parker, a typical albeit hilarious bean that ended up doing not such typical stuff.
    I'll be narrating my own story...welcome! Glad to have you along for the journey there and back again!
    Your opinions, comments, questions,and kudos mean a dragon sized amount. Hold onto your hats, this roller coaster has some crazy surprises along the way! [Seriously, it keeps me writing, so bring the love, humans!]
    Oh, if you have any problems, dial information, thank you for calling.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,050
    Chapters:
    14/70
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    410
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The fellowship has set out on its noble quest to destroy the ring and put an end to the threat that is Sauron! Just set out really, barely left the gates of Imladris, but things are going smoothly enough so far. That is until the two most unlikely party crashers fall upon their little fellowship. Uncle Bilbo and the Legendary Thorin Oakenshield?! Frodo just wants to know what's going on but the two of them won't stop hollering at each other long enough for anyone to get a word in edgewise. Suddenly, their little group is joined by Frodo's two biggest heroes and he discovers there was a lot more to Uncle Bilbo's stories than he realized.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,355
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    642
    Kudos:
    1301
    Bookmarks:
    373
    Hits:
    20858
  3. Tags
    Summary

    In a Hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit. But this is not your usual hobbit. No, she was a rather different sort, really, and all of the Shire knew it. She was a Bounder. Her name is Aconite Baggins.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,429
    Chapters:
    5/23
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1286
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins was a hobbit, that much was true. There was something that did set him apart however. He did not start as a hobbit, and he did not always take the form of one. You might recognize one of his other names. He is also known as Smaug the Dreadful, Smaug the Magnificent, and occasionally Silvertongue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,813
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    387
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    7493
  5. Tags
    Summary

    In the Shire there were two truths. The Tooks were odd and the Baggins were respectable. The Baggins family dealt in contracts and favours, and while the Shire knew that the Tooks were odd, it was the Baggins family that had other blood running through their veins.
    Bilbo Baggins did not go running out his door for want of an adventure, he went running out his door because of a terribly worded contract and a laughable quest that somehow held the spark of other.
    In this story, it is not the Tooks that held fae blood in their family tree, it is the Baggins, and theirs is so much closer to the surface.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,318
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    436
    Kudos:
    1738
    Bookmarks:
    752
    Hits:
    26498
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Fate made them to be together although it didn't think about Thorin dying, so it fixed it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,628
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    198
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin was dead.

    He had died. On a lake of ice, cold and full of pain. And something had been shining above him, glinting in the sun. Tears.

    Tears on Bilbo's face as they dripped down the hobbit's nose and Thorin let out a final breath and closed his eyes. He slipped into darkness, like he was falling asleep and the cold seeped from his bones, dragging the aching pain with it.

    And then he woke up. And was decidedly not dead.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,941
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    657
  8. Tags
    Summary

    This thing started 4 years ago as a crack fic to amuse myself because honestly, dwarves are just ridiculous. As I returned to it after a long pause and it took an entirely different spin, a summary rewrite is a necessity.

    Bilbo Baggins had been touched by black magic. Her idle life in the Shire without any need to use her dark powers was turned upside down when Gandalf appeared at her doorstep to drag her yet again into trouble. But who wouldn't want to see a dragon? And the crownless king of dwarves wasn't so bad himself too. In hindsight, she should have just told the wizard to sod off.

    Thorin was quite ready to despise the newly acquired Company burglar, he was. Instead, he fell head over heels for her. Courting on the way to Erebor proves to be rather tricky when you're a directionally challenged jealous idiot and pretty much everyone ends up smitten with your One while literally nothing goes as planned.

    Throw in some dragon sickness angst, One Ring troubles, unexpected friendships and a lot of elves. Chaos ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    137,762
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    135
    Kudos:
    615
    Bookmarks:
    236
    Hits:
    25549
  9. Tags
    Summary

    After the great battle of the 5 Armies, Bilba Baggins. Good Burglar of Erebor, Riddle Maker, Barrel Rider of Underhill. Believes the family she had found under dwarves is dead. So she takes what she has and leaves as soon as she can, only to find two treasures had joined on her adventure. So- Vowing to keep them safe in the shire away from the real world, she hides the truth in her stories. But this isn't about her anymore. It about two Dwobbits determined to unburden their mother from danger. Leaving her to be safe in the shire as the two faunts sneak away to find the truths in their mother's stories...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,963
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    3226
  10. Tags
    Summary

    One would think with the communication device in everyone's hands, life would be easier. Words would be more easily said. But no. Nothing is ever simple.

    The one where Bilbo is a tired teaching fellow and a part-time worker in a bookshop, his best friend is his student Ori who is in love with Fili and a lot of them are friends with Bofur who joined college late. Thorin, Fili's Uncle, is a grump and (apparently) the only sane member in his family. Balin is done with this lot. Dis is having too much fun. Frerin is just at the right place at the right time (or maybe it's the wrong place at the wrong time- it depends on the perspective). Dwalin and Nori are fucking. Balin and Dori are too. FIli and Ori are pining over each other and making Bofur and Bilbo's life hell.

    Even with these communication devices in their hand, these people, in teh best way possible, are a clusterfuck.

    Modern AU, Texting AU

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,539
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1458
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Some people believed he was a seer or a prophet. Some people thought he was just crazy, Mad Baggins they called him. Really, Bilbo Baggins was just tired. Tired of pretending that every day was a new adventure. Tired of feigning surprise, ignorance and confusion. Tired of trying to make a difference. The truth was, after living the same life over and over again countless times, there were no new adventures, no surprises. No, it didn’t matter if he tried to change things because he always came back to live the same exact life all over again. No matter what changes he managed to make, it would all be reset again the moment he died. So was there really any point in trying? Despite all that, there was definitely something different going on this time . . or was there? After living the same life so many times, it was hard to distinguish the present life from the past ones sometimes. But he certainly couldn’t ever remember Thorin looking at him like that after walking through his door. Maybe there were a few more surprises left in store for him after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,847
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    571
    Kudos:
    1514
    Bookmarks:
    448
    Hits:
    28639
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo's hands gripped Thorin's wrists,the only thing stopping him from plummeting to the ground. He smiled softly. ~I didn't want it to be like this.~

    He fell from the gates, his body arching towards the stone as time seemed to slow. Several of the dwarrow cried out.

    With a sickening crunch Bilbo hit the stone, blood pooling from his head.

    It was if a bucket of water had been thrown over Thorin's head as with a snap the dragon sickness vanished. But it was too late.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,857
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    370
    Kudos:
    299
    Bookmarks:
    93
    Hits:
    7062
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo wasn’t used to this. The dwarves around him seemed to want to include him in nearly every aspect of their lives. Cooking, eating, riding, and even bathing. Bathing! For Yavanna’s sake, how was he supposed to move with so many dwarves underfoot? With most of the companies Bilbo worked with they ignored him when he wasn't needed- ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ - with maybe the exception of one or two people. But having nearly the whole company’s attention was too much.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,930
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    624
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Everyone has a soulmate. And when your soulmate listens to music, you can hear it.

    And Thorin's soulmate keeps playing the same damm song. On loop. For hours at a time. Thorin wants to scream. Except she's currently in a crucial meeting with Greenwood and Co.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    308
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Just a collection of Middle Earth character one-shots & drabbles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,541
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2554
  16. Tags
    Summary

    During the Second Age, Sauron created Witches; dark, powerful beings whose magic could do terrible things. Three of the four fell with Sauron, killed by the forces of Men and Elves, but one was lost - rumored to have hidden in the corners of the world, biding its time.

    Bilbo lives peacefully in Bag End. He's a reasonable cook, an excellent writer, and is Shire's best gardener.

    He also happens to the Last Witch of Morgul, but no one needs to know that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,193
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    338
    Bookmarks:
    104
    Hits:
    3756
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins wants to do something special to repay Maglor for helping him with his writing over the years he's spent retired in Rivendell. Unfortunately, the elf in question is a little hesitant to cooperate, once he knows what his little hobbit friend wants to do. Not that his request is unreasonable, not in the slightest, but Maglor has a rather complex relationship with his memories, and isn't quite sure how he feels about having them recorded for posterity.

    Still, if it makes the halfling happy...

     

    A continuation of 'Return to Life', this story is mainly going to be little snippets and vignettes of Maglor's new life in Imladris, mostly out of order and mostly unrelated.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,039
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    3155
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins is an respectful, caring, omega dragon, but his heart was torn beyond help from his wizard friends, no he needed love to mend his heart, but he wanted none of that. But Gandalf says other wise.

    Thorin is lovestruck at first sight and wants to shelter this innocent little halfling. But little does he know Bilbo is a tough cookie.

    Everyone is a little slow expect Ori and Bilbo; aka my little cookies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,429
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    7956
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins was not your average hobbit. Of course, he had the wonderfully groomed and well-taken-care-of hairy feet like every other one of his race, yes, but he was not like other hobbits. He was cursed. Or, as the witch who gave him the enchantment put it, was “gifted”. She had given him the “gift” of obedience – whenever there was a direct command given to him, for example “cook a large meal” or “take a walk”, he could not disobey. Not without a lot of pain and eventual submission.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,442
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    584
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Well, I still taste you on my lips,
    Lovely bitter water.

    The terrible fire of old regret,
    Is honey on my tongue.

    And I know I shouldn't love you,
    I know I shouldn't love you.

    But I do.

    ———————————————————————————————————

    Six years after Bilbo had returned from his quest for Erebor, he has settled down back in Bag End with Kíli, Tauriel, Gimli, and Legolas—and his little son, Frodo—who still doesn't know that he is Prince Under the Mountain. And with his sixth birthday approaching, Bilbo must finally decide whether his son will one day sit on his ancestor’s throne within the Lonely Mountain where his father now stirs beneath in his grave with the Arkenstone in his grip; ready to awaken at any moment from his long-awaited slumber...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,510
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    407

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