1 - 20 of 599 Works in Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The demon Crowley invites you to stop trying to sell your soul to him! He has no use for it! He will make your life miserable! Please leave him alone.

    Or

    Humans have always had a weird thing for the obscure and taboo. Crowley thinks humans are weird for that.
    Here are some of his most infamous deals throughout history.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,528
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    177
  2. Tags
    Summary

    One of Crowley’s schemes goes awry. Even though he’s no longer reporting to Hell, he’s still anxious about the failure. While helping him relax, Aziraphale gives in to a bit of temptation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,126
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    72
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley goes to BirdWorld. This was not meant to be angsty at all. Oops. At least it's light angst?

    SFW. Written for a child.

    A plot, you say? Maybe next time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,917
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    25
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley was hoping the Angel would try to get in touch with him, somehow.

    But it had been almost 3 weeks. Nothing. Not even a feeling. Not even a feather.

    Crowley was lonely. And not just lonely. He was tired.

    Instead of taking off to wander alone among the stars for all time, he finds himself looking over an old postcard from a friend he'd met in 1985, when the man had accidentally summoned him to a rather questionable tea-party.

    Tired of waiting around for whatever Heaven was planning to crash down on the world he loved, and sick of the same scenes reminding him of how hollow his existence really was, Crowley decides to visit the old man.

    Besides. The Angel would never look for him in a place called 'Blackfly'.

    Or would he?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,109
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,222
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “I’ll have the horniest sinners knockin’ these walls down to get in!” Angel Dust exclaimed. Right at that exact moment, Crowley walked in.

    You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

    or

    After the holy-water bathtub incident, Beelzebub decides a better punishment for Crowley is to be the princess of hell's little assistant for her pet project; the Hazbin Hotel. A place where sinners can be "redeemed".

    Crowley would rather get discorporated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,842
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    206
    Kudos:
    497
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    5,982
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It has been a few months since the events of season 2 ep 6 and Aziraphale hasn't had a good time in heaven. He misses Crowley and all of a sudden he needs to change his name as part of his process to become the supreme archangel. Plus he isn't allowed to leave. Why are the archangels helping him? Why does he need to change his name? What is heaven hiding and what are they trying to cover up? Can he contact Crowley to tell him what's going on? Can Crowley help him?

    the story mostly follows Michael and Uriel in the beginning chapters but over all will have alot of the Ineffables later on.he premise is that Aziraphale is Raphael 2.0 with the og being Crowley and getting Aziraphale free from heaven as well as the journey of finding each other again.

    aka
    i'm an idiot who is in desperate need for drama and more good omens content

    Updates every Thursday

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,742
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    560
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Burying his face in Aziraphale’s hair (it had the sweetest scent, vaguely of vanilla and fresh linen), Crowley purred, “Depends. What do you want from me?”

    The angel thought for a second and then an answer came to him, “Teach me to say something in the language of Hell,” he said.

    Confused, amused, and curious, Crowley asked, “Now why would you want that?”

    ***

    Crowley has gone missing. It's been days since Aziraphale has seen him, and he's beginning to suspect the worst. The angel has little to go on, but he's fairly certain that the forces of Hell are at play, especially dark entities known as "The Big Guys".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,476
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    3,041
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley decides to take a bath.
    Aziraphale decides to join him.
    (Salutes) Enjoy, soldier.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,531
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    589
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Azalea Fell finds herself falling asleep under a tree, wishing to get out of what is about to be a loveless marriage. Sometimes, wishes do come true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    497
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    50
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley wasn’t much for sobriety. She thought it was a bit of a silly thing, a bit tedious to deal with when you were out and about. How were you supposed to let loose in any situation without alcohol running through your veins? She wouldn’t know, since she was always either completely intoxicated, or running on caffeine to the point where numbers were colours and people talked like Muppets.

    Unfortunately, during the raising of the antichrist, Aziraphale had convinced her to put away any alcohol that she might find herself reaching for during her shifts in the estate. Albeit reluctantly. Tonight however, the angel had pulled a bottle of whiskey from his cabinet in the garden shed and poured two glasses for them. He could tell she needed it.

    -

    During the raising of the antichrist, Crowley and Aziraphale get into all sorts of trouble, be it from Hell, Heaven, or simply hiding their feelings from each other- and the rest of the estate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,528
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    376
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A depressed angel is tasked with finding out who’s distributing ‘Ecstasy’, a drug promising to emulate the experience of Divine Love. Blasphemy, of course! And Aziraphale is told to steer the dealers of this substance towards the light. Who does he find in the backroom of a seedy bar, distributing the stuff? You guessed it.

    This isn’t a fic glorifying substance use. Not at all. I aim to portray it realistically, which means I describe both the good and the bad. I don’t punish my characters for indulging, but what goes up, must come down (hence the name of the fic). The substances portrayed are not the point of the story, but rather the context I chose to explore particularly Crowley’s trauma. I find it unlikely that the self-medicating alcoholic we meet in season 1, the guy who hung around in Soho bars during the 60s and 70s, didn’t try more than just wine.

    Aziraphale, on his end, is a sensual hedonist. He’s likely the “try anything once” type, but since he doesn’t try to escape his mind trough his experimentation, he will most likely not regret his choices.

    What happens when an addict and a hedonist finally, properly get together after 6000 years of yearning and hidden memories? Well, this fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    88,716
    Chapters:
    39/39
    Comments:
    818
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    5,626
  12. Tags
    Summary

    In the year 1636, young Virtue Nutter is searching for her father. She doesn't know anything about him except that his name is Anthony Crowley and is said to live in London. Of course she finds this extremely strange man and also gets to know his angelic "friend". Thus begins an adventure of a very special kind for her.

    or

    In 1636 Crowley needs to hire a new coachman. What he doesn't know is that the young "lad" he chooses for this job is his daughter, Virtue Nutter.

    If you feel like reading something completely different and, above all, are in the mood to meet a few new characters, you've come to the right place.

    Contains hand drawn pictures 😊♥️😊♥️😊♥️😊 Enjoy reading 😊♥️😊♥️😊♥️😊

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    110,256
    Chapters:
    73/90
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    3,285
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Im Jahre 1636 ist die junge Virtue Nutter auf der Suche nach ihrem Vater.
    Sie weiß nichts über ihn, außer, dass er Anthony Crowley heißt und in London leben soll.
    Natürlich findet sie diesen äußerst seltsamen Mann und lernt auch seinen engelhaften "Freund" kennen. Damit beginnt für sie ein Abenteuer der ganz besonderen Art.

    oder

    Im Jahre 1636 muss Crowley einen neuen Kutscher einstellen. Was er nicht weiß, ist, dass der junge ”Bursche”, den er für diesen Job auswählt, seine Tochter Virtue Nutter ist.

    Wer Lust hat, mal etwas ganz anderes zu lesen und vor allem ein paar neue Charaktere kennenzulernen, ist hier genau richtig.

    Enthält handgezeichnete Bilder 😊♥️😊♥️😊♥️😊 Viel Spaß beim Lesen 😊♥️😊♥️😊♥️😊

    Series
    Language:
    Deutsch
    Words:
    108,756
    Chapters:
    73/90
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    738
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The Second Coming is averted, Heaven and Hell are no more, there's just neutral gound now.

    Still, Aziraphale and Crowley didn't have time to talk properly about what happened in the final fifteen and neither about their feelings.
    Not until Crowley decides to surprise the former angel with an unexpected dinner - the long promised picnic.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,877
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    411
  15. Tags
    Summary

    There are some things you can never tell your partner…

    Crowley has witnessed many such atrocities, ranging from bad, to worse, to downright embarrassing.
    Aziraphale has heard them all before, all except one…
    Some things are just too painful to say aloud.

    Venus – the Roman goddess of Love – is not Aziraphale, but she is nosy, and if there’s anyone that understands about trouble in paradise, it’s her.

    Pairing this dynamic duo up may seem like a recipe for disaster, but who knows…

    Maybe some secrets are just meant to be aired.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,584
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    60
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Oh, but Crowley would kill for a bottle of wine.

    Sometimes he could still taste it between his back teeth, could feel the dry burn in his throat, the saliva collecting under his hard palate, trapped by his tongue until swallowed. He longed for that fuzzy, buzzing hum between his ears, the thought-numbing side-effect from imbibing too much too quickly.

    But drinking and thinking didn't mix; Crowley was notorious for reducing himself to a blubbering, nostalgic lump of fetal-positioned human flesh. And that temptation was out of the question.

     

    Crowley was always there for Aziraphale when things went pear-shaped; it made him happy. But what if the situation was reversed, and he himself needed rescuing?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,834
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    457
  17. Tags
    Summary

    (Post Apocalypse-That-Wasn't)

    Aziraphale experiences new music genres when he stumbles upon the Edinburgh Fringe Festival on a pursuit for rare books.

    After finding out the demon has been living in his car, the angel encourages Crowley to move into the bookshop and quickly discovers that he has a secret affinity for these curious new sounds.

    Contains scenes of a fluffy nature, singing and dancing, angel/demon hurtful words, angst and miscommunication, and potentially an M chapter if I get round to fitting it into the storyline.

    Saunter slowly or quickly into the Ineffable love through music <3

     

    Additional tags to add as story progresses.

    (A slower paced and very experimental theme for me and written entirely for fun, not sense, but hope it's enioyable. Please stick with it, it gets more interesting later!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,562
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    471
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Swaying, [the Wanderer] grinned. “You an’ ‘Ziraphale…Earth’s Greatest Defenders. Tha’ Best and Brightest.” They paused, liquor-soaked brain working overtime, then burst into laughter.
    “WHAT NOW?”
    “Earth’s Best and Worst…est,” they hiccuped, collapsing on the floor. “Humanity’s last hope.”


    After 1800 years, the Wanderer’s identity is revealed. Crowley takes it as well as expected (he freaks out). They still have a lot of explaining to do.

    Meanwhile, Aziraphale is miserable in Heaven, but going home isn’t an option. A dangerous threat–the only reason he agreed to take the position–hangs over him if he doesn’t fall in line. Then, an unlikely visitor with shocking information upends everything.

    The Wanderer has a Big Problem and needs Aziraphale and Crowley together to solve it. Plus, they’d like to see their friend Crowley happy again (the whining is getting to be a lot). It's probably going to take a miracle. But the ethereal being has their own cross to bear under all that great power and apparent wisdom.

    Time to bring everyone together. It’s all about to go pear-shaped.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,974
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    491
  19. Tags
    Summary

    As Crawley, the demon in charge of the first temptation, chatted with the angel of the Southern wall, Adam and Eve escaped by the Eastern gate, menacing the principality guarding it and stealing his flaming sword (Or at least that’s what the paperwork implied).

    Over the millennia, Aziraphale and Crowley have managed never to meet one another, living their own completely separate lives.
    One day, Hell sends an unusual request: This little bookshop in central Soho needs to be watched, and Crowley is assigned to the case.
    -------------

    Chapter-specific tags and content-warnings available

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,241
    Chapters:
    2/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    193
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Are you going to thwart the evil which plagues our land, Sir?” they asked.

     

    Am I going to kill it, he heard.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,443
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Hits:
    33

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