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Your name is Dirk Strider, and you think you're going insane. You say this, because you're only about 80% sure that vampires aren't real. That's insane.
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You knew going out without that stupid mask would bite you in the ass soon.
And of course your dumbass forgot your inhaler, so your chest feels tight, and you’re silently freaking out while you finish some spam you made for lunch, flashing Dave a little smile when you meet his gaze. You’re back inside and bathed now (thank God), sitting on stools at a fancy little counter behind the kitchen sink, technically in the dining room.
You try to keep your breaths silent and slow, you don’t want him to hear that disgusting wheeze from your swollen lungs, but your rapid heartbeat is demanding otherwise. I need air, asshole, your body is screaming, so you breathe faster and louder so as not to faint. You stare off into the kitchen, concentrating. Chewing your food slowly. Trying to breathe.
Of course you notice John’s acting weird. Of course. He’s the only other person around, he’s perhaps the biggest part of your life.
He’s very obviously trying to hide whatever it is, flashing you quick smiles whenever your eyes meet over the counter, so you say nothing. Until his breathing starts picking up noticeably.
“Are you... okay, dude?”
Series
- Part 2 of Apocalypsestuck
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Incorrect quotes: Putting Homestuck characters in non-canon and unlikely situations, for the funnies :D
Series
- Part 1 of Homestuck Incorrect quotes
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You shouldn't have gotten so drunk. You should have said no. You should have fought harder to stop them.
What kind of man are you?
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You don't really have one yet, and you need to think of one fast!
What do you do?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 5
- Hits:
- 48
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Does Dave prefer Pepsi or Coke? The answer may surprise you.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 27
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Dave had always assumed that at the very least, he'd have the sanctuary of his own mind. Turned out, even the gates to that were shaky at best.
[Your friendly neighborhood post-retcon Meteorstuck, DaveKat-centric chapterfic, with a bit of a twist. Pan-Quadrant romance and dream bubble adventures featuring some standard AU settings.] -
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John, a college student, runs into an old friend he's been out of touch with for some time while walking. Things are a little different than he expected, but not THAT different.
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Dave shows John his newer sword.
Series
- Part 27 of You Can Do Magic (And Other Stuff)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 25
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“I do not think Spongebob would survive the apocalypse.”
“Literally why though?”
“Why would he survive?”
“Dude he can literally rip himself up into bits.”
“That doesn’t stop you from getting bit and infected dude.”
“He’s a sponge! They wouldn’t wanna eat him.”
“They go after anything that makes noise, Spongebob can’t shut up to save his life.”
“You watch how you talk about Spongebob Johnathan whatever-your-middle-name-is Egbert.”
“James.”
“What?”
“My middle name is James.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah.”
“Johnathan James Egbert.”
“That’s me.”
“Well Johnathan James Egbert watch your fucking mouth about how you talk about Spongebob.”
“I’m right though!”
Series
- Part 1 of Homestuck Era
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Transcripts of the fangame Pesterquest Rewritten.
What if MSPAR remembered themself at the beginning of Pesterquest's prologue? If they didn't immediately leave Doc Scratch's mansion, but instead kept their character arc from Friendsim, and used their new knowledge of Homestuck to try and save someone?
Contains full spoilers for the fangame Pesterquest Rewritten, and is best enjoyed with at least some knowledge of Friendsim and Pesterquest.
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A fully voice acted audio adaptation of Sarah Zedig's Godfeels
RSS feed: https://pinecast.com/feed/podfeels
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Retcons the Homestuck Epilogues by letting John choose something other than Meat or Candy. (warning: incredibly silly!)
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john and his friends get into college. what sort of shenanigans will ensue?
karkat and friends follow their older dancestors- *siblings* footsteps into university. just how long will he be able to deal with their bullshit?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,934
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 3
- Hits:
- 60
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bloodshot, a vigilante (presumably) from derse, deals with his (totally not fucked up and secretive) daily life while trying to figure out how to (effectively) keep his dual life separate.
meanwhile, on the flip side of the spectrum, vigil, the number three hero (publically) from prospit, deals with vigilantes (who could shatter society with secrets), relationships (which he’s scared of letting converge), and keeping his family safe (from himself and the spsc).
most of these noble (????) goals go awry and shit starts to go south.
3rd time ive workshopped this summary lmao. anyway vigilante fic with like triple identity shit and karkat’s a vigilante/dave’s a hero. lol.
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John Egbert and Jade Harley Play Ghostbusters MMORPG 2 by KittyCatMeowKittyKaPow
Fandoms: Homestuck, ghostbusters mmorpg 2
12 Dec 2023
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Summary
Basically they play a video game, literally no plot its just a fluffshot.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 684
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 22
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Summary
Kanaya Maryam's had a rough week. Her big client, ERIDAN AMPORA, keeps threatening to pull his business out unless she works for "exposure." Her fabric store is doing okay, but things could be better. Her roommate's crabby attitude isn't exactly helping matters.
But when a certain someone from her past shows up in a van alongside her brother, in desperate need of a place to stay for the night—
Well. Who would she be to refuse?
A roadtrip AU, told in screenplay format.
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You have to squint for a few moments before you can make out the foggy shape of Dave’s aviators.
JOHN: dave?
DAVE: jesus christ egbert you almost gave me a fuckin heart attack
JOHN: why- what are you doing here?He holds a thin black shape up to your face and it takes you a second to realize it’s a smartphone.
DAVE: you havent been online for 79 hours 45 minutes and 13 seconds
DAVE: you broke our streaks bro
DAVE: 974 days down the fuckin drain
DAVE: youre the most chronically online person i know and one day you just dropped off the face of the planet what gives
JOHN: i’m fine. or, i will be in a little bit. you don’t have to baby sit me.Dave shakes his head and places his hands on your shoulders. You melt a little into his touch—it feels like way too fucking long since you’ve had human contact.
DAVE: are you kidding
DAVE: john im not leaving now
DAVE: youre stuck with me for the time being -
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Dad Egbert is a certified food fetishist, and has the big gay. Fucking ensues.
Series
- Part 2 of fics from my writing notebook ^_^
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- Part 8 of Homestuck Incorrect quotes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 14