1 - 20 of 1565 Works in Dirty Jokes

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    How to seduce one Kim Namjoon a guide by Jungkook

    "the second he sat down he heard Jungkook fake moan at Hoseok’s hand in his hair, jokingly asking him to pull harder while Jimin and Taehyung laughed at Hoseok’s tutting.

    “Please, Hobi-hyung, I’m so good at taking it,” Jungkook whined with a laugh when Hoseok just pushed his head away.

    Namjoon could feel how warm his cheeks were as he got back up in a rush, gathering his belongings and speed-walking out of the room without looking back."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    93
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Violca is a recluse that keeps themself locked away in the little shop they share with their teacher. When he gives them his tarot cards, however, their life begins to change—their fortune urges them to pursue a new path, and the stars seem to agree, dropping an opportunity they can't pass up right into their lap. With a little uncharacteristic bravery and a steeled will, they set forth on their adventure, an urge to learn the truth—and to help one specific, capricious ghost—pushing them forward.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,652
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    158
  3. Tags
    Summary

    About one and a half year after the wedding, everything seems to be going smooth; Alec and Magnus are going strong, at home and as the heads of each their part of the shadow world.
    But maybe it's time for a change. Maybe something is missing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    155,035
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    392
    Kudos:
    499
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    14575
  4. Tags
    Summary

    One chatroom, tons of chaos. What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,557
    Chapters:
    43/?
    Comments:
    228
    Kudos:
    452
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    14035
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Garrus and FemShep relationship from the beginning of Mass Effect 1. The story with twists, additions, jokes, loss, and changes. The two move from friends to something more. (If you are here for some smutty action, Chpt. 14. Other smuttiness to be added later.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,162
    Chapters:
    43/?
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    300
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    8043
  6. Tags
    Summary

    After years of intense training, Mikaela Shindo is the first omega to finally be recognized and accepted into a beta-dominated law enforcement. To his surprise, he was placed within the newly established and Alpha Apprehension Bureau (AAB) where his omega abilities would excel exponentially. And that they did, for Mika was successful in capturing some of the most wanted alpha criminals with his irresistible charm for the past twelve months.

    Too bad all of the experience he'd gained on the job wasn't enough to prepare him for the situation he's gotten himself into with a certain idiotic alpha apprehended for a recent string of violent murders.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,754
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    360
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    4351
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Kirishima thought adding sweet innocent Uraraka to his and Bakugo’s sparring practices would ease the tension building between the two men.

    He was wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,420
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    269
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2735
  8. Tags
    Summary

    sirius: you're all impossible i'm going back to bed

    remus: it's ?????? 8:45 am?????

    sirius: did i fucking stutter

    -

    a texting au of our favourite boys in uni because i love texting fics and i wanted to write it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,104
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    516
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    5581
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Under the bright lights of Seoul, the night brings trouble. (if you know where to find it.)

    This is Neo City; the most popular nightspot in Seoul. And the biggest underground empire in Korea.

    Welcome, stranger.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,457
    Chapters:
    6/20
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    865
  10. Tags
    Summary

    This is a story based on a prompt submitted to @reylo_prompts on Twitter:

    I really need an office AU where Ben and Rey are office rivals pranking each other, & she sends him a glitter bomb. Bc I would LOVE to read Ben freaking the f out covered in beautiful, sparkling glitter!

    (Glitter Bomb is coming, I promise! Just not in Chapter 1)

    Read on for some laughs and some smut.

    Edit: This is turning into a collection of smutty scenarios with different ships. Enjoy! :-)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,949
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    308
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    3731
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Just as what the title says.
    Wangxian's happily ever after in the tune of Fluff and Porn.
    Enjoy the collection of short stories and don't think too much about the details *winks*
    EDIT: Changed the rating to Explicit because of the Porn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    281,763
    Chapters:
    66/66
    Comments:
    430
    Kudos:
    638
    Bookmarks:
    149
    Hits:
    48268
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jaehaerys Targaryen is your average prince. He's a ladies man that knows how to be smart when he has to.
    Rhaenys Targaryen is in love with the wrong person. She should love someone who isn't betrothed. Or her brother.
    Daenerys Targaryen was just about to leave for Westeros, to conquer her home. She's in the wrong place, but maybe with the right people.
    The Targaryens rule Westeros as if Robert's Rebellion never happened. But something's off. There is no Daenerys Targaryen there until Dany comes. They only have Jaehaerys Targaryen.
    With war brewing, the Targaryens have to figure out how to come together and keep their allies, even when a beautiful woman none of them have ever met lands in their throne room with three dragons.
    Dragons never fall, even when the winds are strong, even when they are the winds of winter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,225
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    245
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Due to space constraints, Hogwarts' eighth year students will have to cook for themselves this year. The Headmistress thinks it'll be a great way for them to learn some life skills... provided they don't starve to death first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,933
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    226
  14. Tags
    Summary

    In this story you will get to read about the sexual escapades and trials/tribulations between StormXros and his beautiful wife Sapphire as they go through many, many hardships including; Sapphires' sexual flare ups, my jobs otherworldly threats & getting up on some kind of time, the scariest threat of them all... Numerous characters will be joining them in their day-to-day life and they may join in on the fun. We'll suck, fuck, bite, fight, laugh and cry during this crazy, noisy adventure of ours! Note: some of the tags may be just for the referencing purposes but I might include a character here and there if you want me to. I am serious about having some other folks show up just bear with me when I say those tags aren't entirely for show.

    Broke 4200 hits! Glad there are so many horny folks around these parts. Thx! On principle I must say... Nice!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,494
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    4976
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "If you are good at drawing or painting, art school is not for you because you will eventually become a trembling, drooling, crying shadow of your former self." -Urban Dictionary

    A Reddie/IT art school AU except they both suck at art and school. It takes place in the 90s and everyone is an asshole.

    Warning for sexual content, mental illness, etc. Chapter titles are song titles because how else would i name them

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,700
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    479
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Gavin Reed voluntarily checks himself into a rehab and mental health facility after a failed suicide attempt. Once admitted into the facility, he settles into his own routine, living day by day emptily, counting down time until he has nothing left. The monotonous, repetitive existence he falls into soon takes a different turn when a new patient is admitted into the facility and becomes his roommate.

    But who exactly is this person? What’s an android doing in a mental health and rehab center? And why does he refer to himself as ‘Nameless’?
    *Loosely based off ‘Girl, Interrupted’*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,600
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    403
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The Government's top, their elite, the creme de la creme were given one year to locate, extract and execute Zeke Jaeger.
    They failed.
    Now with the United Kingdom on the verge of collapse the job has fallen to Team Bravo Two Zero; aka, the kill squad.
    Tasked with locating and executing Zeke before the country falls into complete ruin, they’re forced to work alongside Team Alpha; their longtime competition and thorns in their side.
    Where they favour subterfuge and information extraction, Bravo Two Zero prefer a clear line of sight, sometimes some C4, and if they need more than two bullets?
    Well, they’re not called Two Zero for nothing.
    Forced to learn how to work together while not putting a round in the heads of each other, they soon realise that Zeke is not so simple a man to track down.
    Not when he has the ever brilliant hacker sister of Alpha teams very own marksmen.
    She’s setting traps but leaving them clues that lead them on a manhunt across Europe and into...Italy?
    It’s time for Team Alpha & Bravo Two Zero to divide and conquer.
    Maybe even learn to get along on the way?
    Possibly learn to love while they play?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,867
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    268
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Look, I’m not saying Tom’s totally gay for Tord. I’m just saying he wants Tord to fuck him. But Tom’s not gay. Nope.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,966
    Chapters:
    25/34
    Comments:
    297
    Kudos:
    795
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    15849
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Hah? Who the fuck are you? I live here."

    Oh snap, apparently Denki must have found a new roommate for them. So the guy wasn’t just beautiful, but also capable of using a stove. Izuku was sure it must be love at first sight – filthy mouth notwithstanding.

     

    Izuku and Denki are in desperate need of a new roommate that knows how to cook. Somehow a very aggressive blonde stumbles his way into their lives - and Izuku's heart.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,760
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    246
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    2269
  20. Tags
    Summary

    In a world where magic exists, a knight of the Dragon Slayers Order has to embrace his newly found power given by the enemy and use it against evil, the price? his memories and his loved one's trust.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,234
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    647

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