1 - 20 of 1,060 Works in Harry Potter is a Little Shit

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    [The Loner] Wished to give [The Thinker] and [The Warrior] a gift for agreeing to exchange some [Shard]s.

    [The Loner] was the only Entity to notice a strange world. One filled with Magic and beings that bent reality. It thought one of these magic users would be a good gift; lots of Data to be had there.

    When it felt a being with more than one [Soul] try to travel quickly, it interfered and sent the odd being to one of the Earths that [The Thinker] and [The Warrior] were experimenting with.
    -----------
    Or, Harry Potter accidentally apparates away from his abuse quickly, only to end up in the wormverse. As such, things change.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,525
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    3,665
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Being a neutral party is easy when you don't give a shit about what happens. Harry doesn't mind the war around him, as long as it doesn't affect his life or his learning. As far as Harry's concerned, the war wasn't his problem.

    He's practically Switzerland.

    Featuring:
    - Ravenclaw red-haired Harry Potter
    - Neutral Harry who doesn't take shit from anyone
    - Harry growing up with Voldemort hanging around as a wraith like some kind of menacing babysitter

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,129
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    381
    Kudos:
    2,209
    Bookmarks:
    711
    Hits:
    34,347
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sirius Black, upon being faced with his goddaughter bleeding and half buried under rubble does the only thing he can. He makes a Vow, swearing his life to her, a butterfly's flap of a wing that will change the very fate of the world.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,335
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    350
    Bookmarks:
    119
    Hits:
    11,339
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In the opinion of many teenagers, returning to Hogwarts after the war for their eighth year of education was perhaps even worse than the war itself.

    Afraid of being judged by their peers for their actions during the terrible time and isolating themselves from the rest, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger are in their own separate worlds.

    That is till their worlds collide when Theodore Nott and Ginny Weasley decide to raise spirits by rallying their friends into the first ever boy auction in Hogwarts history.

    The auction happens. Chaos ensues.
    Lives are irrevocably changed.

    Perhaps it wasn't the best idea after all.
    Or was it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,834
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    474
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A modern day human reincarnates as Hedwig.

    SI

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,165
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    425
    Kudos:
    939
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    18,709
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Harry James Potter at thirteen years old was adopted by an American family visiting England.

    After Pettigrew and Voldemort's deaths, Harry assumed that he would have a peaceful life.

    He couldn't be more wrong

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,725
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    735
    Kudos:
    1,748
    Bookmarks:
    652
    Hits:
    56,377
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Please go read the book named blood doesn't make family by musicdefinesusall first to make sense of this...I am making a alternate ending with permission ...i don't know how to tag it or I would

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,065
    Chapters:
    7/25
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    64
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "I'm all right!" Harry stood up and waved frantically at the keepers with his right hand. He would have used his left as well, but there was a dragon egg glued to it.

    He did a double take. Nope, that was definitely a dragon egg. Only, this egg didn't look like the other eggs anymore. Instead of being off-white, it was a dark silver with swirling black designs etched into it. But somehow... Harry knew that the designs were runes, and that they were there because of him.

    "It is beautiful." Ignis said approvingly. "My egg chose well."

    "The egg chose me?" Harry asked in wonder.

    "Yes."

    Harry befriends the dragon in the first task, and this results in him bonding with one of her eggs as a Draconus Amicus. Watch as Harry navigates his new status, makes new friends, and discovers new enemies. Of course, Luna is involved and regularly breaks Hermione's brain along the way. And... Fred has a thing for McGonagall? Who knows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,894
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    210
    Kudos:
    573
    Bookmarks:
    251
    Hits:
    20,792
  9. Tags
    Summary

    La vida después de una guerra no es fácil, pero tampoco debería sentirse mal.

    O

    Harry retrocede en el tiempo para joder la mierda

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    3,724
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    655
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “Harry Potter.”

    The cold burrowed into his flesh, the scent of cloying death and molding earth clogged his senses.

    “The Boy Who Lived.”

    A strange sense of loss and disappointment rose within him. That brilliant, yet cruel boy could’ve been so much more if he’d not stepped down this bloodied path.

    Terrible, but great. He pitied this creature.

    “Come to die.”

    Harry Potter faced the flash of green light with the bravery of a Gryffindor and the broken heart of a Hufflepuff.

    ---

    When Death gives Harry a third option, one that can save everyone he ever cared about, he takes it unflinchingly. Even when that means doing the impossible: falling in love with the enemy, Tom Riddle.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    169,722
    Chapters:
    28/118
    Comments:
    5,017
    Kudos:
    15,666
    Bookmarks:
    4,983
    Hits:
    357,702
  11. Tags
    Summary

    When the unthinkable happens, Hermione Granger suddenly finds herself needing to start over. Unfortunately, that appears to involve one Draco Malfoy and his school-reminiscent insufferable attitude. Partnered against their will, Hermione and Draco will have to figure their shit out in order to do their job, and survive one other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,466
    Chapters:
    2/20
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    289
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Es la primera noche en Hogwarts para Harry, quien no comprende las lágrimas del niño rubio que conoció en la tienda de túnicas y que acaba de ser seleccionado para Hufflepuff.

    Series
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    6,042
    Chapters:
    2/55
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    73
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Harrison James Potter died the morning of his seventh birthday, 31 July 1987. Of course, the Dursleys never reported this, so the Wizarding World carried on as usual.

    On 31 July 1991, Harrison’s acceptance letter to Hogwarts was returned to Dumbledore and marked as ‘undeliverable.’

    This revelation left the Wizarding community reeling. An investigation was launched, the Dursleys were questioned and tried in front of the Wizengamot, and the boy-who-lived was declared dead.

    Five years later, on 1 September 1996, the doors to the Great Hall at Hogwarts were slammed open, interrupting the Headmaster’s speech.
    Harrison James Potter was alive, and he was ready to defeat the dark lord.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,885
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    1,370
    Bookmarks:
    410
    Hits:
    24,344
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The end of thousands of years of power, fame and riches was drawing near.

    You could feel it in the air, the feeling of decay, the stench of madness, the taste of grief.
    But what if there was hope, a light at the edge of the dark horizon - you would give everything to reach it.

    The Blacks will raise a very different kind of saviour.

    -------------------------

    AU where Walburga Black raises Harry Potter.

    Basically what if Walburga was slightly better at keeping on top of paperwork?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,646
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    296
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    4,466
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter is a new student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He's never been to a real school before, so he doesn't know if he'll be able to fit in with the rest of his peers. He needn't worry, though, soon enough he would become one of the most popular kids at the school and Draco Malfoy -the King Bee-'s right hand (and maybe something more). Too bad it's all a farce to help his new friends Hermione and Ron get revenge. Or is it?

     

    Mean girls but make it Drarry. Featuring Harry Potter being completely clueless about high school hierarchy, but also enjoying it, Hermione Granger being Draco Malfoy's number one hater, Ron Weasley being hungry and angry, Pansy Parkinson being the queen of gossip, Blaise Zabini being the diva we all know he is and Draco Malfoy being a little shit, and also in love, and also in denial.

    I promise there's a happy ending. Lots of teenage drama, betrayals and hurt too, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,685
    Chapters:
    2/26
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    79
  16. Tags
    Summary

    To say Draco Malfoy spent time thinking about Harry Potter was probably an understatement at this point. His friends knew it, he knew it.

    Draco had hoped that joining Lockhart’s dueling club would appease his father, and impress Potter. It didn’t go exactly as planned on either front, but that was besides the point.

    Draco had learned a lot during that duel, that he was horribly under qualified to defend himself, and that Potter was made of fire. Since then, everything else in his life had been white noise, all he focused on was Harry. And the thing is, he noticed.

    He noticed the way he flinched when someone dropped a plate or set a serving spoon down too hard.

    He noticed that when the Weasel would wrap an arm around him and his entire body went rigid.

    -------

    I'm insanely bad at summaries so here's this: I think that that^^ undersells what this fic has become. If you've been reading in the fandom for a while, this is basically Survival is a Talent meets Heir to the House of Prince with a little more jazz. Do with that what you will.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,391
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    3,696
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Didn't they tell us "Don't rush into things"?
    Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?

    Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

    Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting?
    I felt your arms twistin' around me

    Taylor Swift (Wonderland)

    (Harry Potter X OC love story inspired by these specific lines of Wonderland by Taylor Swift)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,981
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,449
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Albus Dumbledore had all the stars aligning until the male tribute from District 12 for the 74th Annual Hunger Games caught the attention of his successor, Tom Riddle; but he realised too late. However, he did recognise him. Harry Potter. The son of Lily Evans-Potter and James Potter. Narrowing his eyebrows, drinking his wine with his successor beside him, he wondered what had happened for the teenage boy to end up in District 12 unlike the Capitol where he placed him. Did Sirius Black move him? How did he get to District 12 unnoticed? Was he going to win the 74th Annual Hunger Games?

    Either way, he was going to have to control things before they got out of hand, in any way possible.

    --------
    Note: the rape/non-con is due to the victor prostitution as well as the torture inflicted onto one of the main characters. It never goes into detail but, the warning is there.
    --------
    (Summary: Harry Potter is reaped for the 74th Annual Hunger Games but what Dumbledore doesn't know is that his successor and the male tribute grew up together in the same orphanage in the Capitol. Their love and memories are what gets the plot moving, and is what Dumbledore realises too late due to his mistakes.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,663
    Chapters:
    16/54
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2,811
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Do it, then. Kill me.” Harry whispers. “Do it. End this.”

    Voldemort sucks in a sharp breath, his red eyes staring deep into Harry’s green ones. The world moves in slow motion. Harry can feel each breath he takes in and each exhale he lets out, an eternity between each breath. The Dark Lord opens his mouth to speak. Harry stares at him still, their gazes glued together, and the foundations that hold Harry up seem to shake. He feels as if he’s falling, falling into The Dark Lord’s eyes and somehow he knows that Voldemort feels the same exact thing looking into Harry’s eyes. It isn’t a pleasant feeling, it burns Harry’s chest. Harry’s heart beats fast in his ears, but there’s an echo to the sound now, as if his heartbeat bounces off Voldemort’s heartbeat. Voldemort opens his mouth, his thin lips forming words.

    “Avada-” Voldemort starts, but then he stops, freezing...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,766
    Chapters:
    11/50
    Comments:
    357
    Kudos:
    1,482
    Bookmarks:
    365
    Hits:
    49,459
  20. Tags
    Summary

    After that fateful Halloween night in which the Dark Lord fell, instead of ending up on the Dursley’s doorstep, in a strange twist of fate, Harry Potter ended up on the front porch of St Martha’s Orphanage. 30 years into the future.

    And when Harry Potter ended up back in his own time, well Harry could confidently say that he did not want to deal with Palpatine from Wish and whatever twinkly-eyed Gandalf wanted with him. Now if only they’d leave him alone and let him grind the Candy Crush leaderboard in peace.

    But hey, the whole magic thing was pretty cool, he guessed.

    OR

    In which Harry Potter knows more than he should and just happens to be a snarky guy who lives to confuse the shit out of others.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,722
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    4,126

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