1 - 20 of 22 Works in Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    After the War between the Heavenly Host and the Fallen Falling angels, Heaven's Host waits outside the gates of Pandemonium for...something to happen. Eventually, Dagon challenges the assembled Host to single combat. If Heaven's champion wins, then Hell surrenders unconditionally. If Hell wins, Heaven kindly pisses off, and all further combat between the two armies takes place on Earth.

    Gabriel is Heaven's champion. Beelzebub fights for Hell.

    Thus begins 6K years of not-so-slow burn.

    Derivative works are awesome, but please cite me for the original concept and also link to my work! Thanks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,001
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    792
  2. Tags
    Summary

    ….So much as stride blithely out a window

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,449
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    96
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Azra Fell, a former counselor at Eden Youth Rehabilitation Center for juvenile delinquents, has accepted a job as a guard at a maximum-security prison. The inmate janitor on Fell's housing unit, AJ Crowley, was a resident at Eden prior to turning eighteen.

    Both Crowley and Fell have deep-seated regrets stretching back to Eden, but before either of them can address the ghosts of their dark pasts, they will be sideswiped by a corruption ring which threatens Crowley's chances of ever making parole.

    A criminal justice system AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,918
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1333
  4. Tags
    Summary

    A week after the avoided apocalypse, Aziraphale has retreated into himself and his anxiety. Crowley helps.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,390
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    225
  5. Tags
    Summary

    In which Crowley and Aziraphale accidentally deliver a future messiah. And that's not to say that they hand him over.

    They deliver, deliver him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,328
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    318
  6. Tags
    Summary

    While humans & animals alike need the Behemoth's roar to calm their aggression, our team of celestials need a way to find the creature.

    The group sends an envoy to Heaven to cut some bureaucratic red tape, and Gabriel can't resist letting Crowley join the mission.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,883
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    106
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It's the end of summer in the year 1990. In the next universe over, Crowley and Aziraphale are pretty busy with the Apocalypse not happening. In this one, they have to deal with a much more personal threat: a team of four angels have found them out, and they know the perfect punishment to fit their crime.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,323
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    4391
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale asks one too many questions.

    What is Heaven to do with their wayward Principality?

    Crowley picks up the pieces.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,502
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    144
    Kudos:
    517
    Bookmarks:
    106
    Hits:
    3503
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley drops in on the French Revolution and ends up unexpectedly rescuing an angel from the Bastille. And he's decidedly unhappy about how his angel's been treated...

    Basically, Crowley's thought process during the French Revolution scene.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,031
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    676
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Angels and Demons have complete control over their appearance. Complete control - including their wings.

    Of course the uniform code demands Black and White and no other colour and after Aziraphale's first run in with the warnings for violations... well he's not up for a second warning.

    But an Angel can dream, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    354
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    1404
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After the apocalypse that wasn't, Crowley and Aziraphale always knew that sooner or later Heaven, Hell or both of them would come after them.

    So when the Archangel Michael comes sniffing around the pair, it's not exactly a surprise. It's just that the timing couldn't be worse, because she catches them at a moment when Aziraphale's frustrated creative impulses appear to have plunged them into their most ridiculous predicament yet.

    Resurrections, misconceptions, startled Satanic nuns, eldritch abominations and vacuum cleaner abuse - it's all going on and it's about to get messy, gassy and prone to disastrous decision making. And that's just Crowley.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,690
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    379
    Kudos:
    582
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    6035
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Michael just smiled, glancing between the two of them.

    “It was you,” Crowley realized, half rage, half grief. Michael just smiled wider.

    “What?” Aziraphale looked back and forth between them. “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
    Crowley swallowed, his jaw clenching.

    “The plane crash,” Crowley said in a strained voice. “The lightning,” he explained, even though he knew he didn’t need to. Aziraphale understood already. He just didn’t want to. “It was her.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,607
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    708
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The boy had shook with fever, his nightgown plastered to every concavity of his malnourished body. I shall happily enjoy whatever fate my loving God has prepared for me, he'd said, smiling, as Aziraphale had left for the night.

    Aziraphale squeezed his eyes shut, and downed the rest of his glass. 

    Damn the Great Plan. Damn it all to Hell, he most certainly did not think, because it would have been beyond the pale for an angel to think such thoughts. But he came close enough to frighten himself.

    ---

    It's the mid-nineteenth century, and Aziraphale's latest assignment is difficult to bear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    592
  14. Tags
    Summary

    All of IneffableAlien's drabbles from this week's challenge, moved to one place.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    800
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    258
  15. Tags
    Summary

    An Alternate Fic to The Good the Bad, and the Ineffable:
    In which God plays games with the universe and you (the reader) are dealt the worst cards in the deck.

    Surprisingly enough, having an archangel as your boss isn't NEARLY as cool as it sounds.

    (Whumptober Prompts 2019)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,357
    Chapters:
    1/31
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    160
  16. Tags
    Summary

    It seemed like a long way down. Well, to him, at least. Maybe it wasn’t. But it very well could’ve been. To most angels, the thought of the fall was terrifying, others thought of it as just a cannonball into a pool. But not a pool of water, one that is ready to cool anyone off on a hot summer’s day. No, a pool of lava. Lava and fire- scarier than that of a house fire, or a volcano eruption. But this wasn’t just regular lava and fire, it was hellfire; something that could burn the purity of an angel in a fraction of a second.

    A Pre-Fall/Post-Fall fic of the Demon Crowley and the mourning of the Principality Aziraphale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,475
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    543
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The forces of Heaven and Hell have been exiled from the Earth, except for Aziraphale and Crowley. Now there's nothing stopping them from being together... unless you count Crowley's past trauma, Aziraphale's millennia of conditioning, the Antichrist needing their help to find his birth mum, Crowley's naked ex-girlfriend, Anathema demanding that someone do something about the terrible state of the afterlife, and the ever-vigilant eye of God. A Good Omens sequel featuring several original characters, a sprinkling of smut, attempts at humor, quite possibly too many footnotes, and even more sacrilege than the original.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,214
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    784
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley knew that the next great battle would be between an allied hell and heaven, against the whole of humanity.
    And yet here he was, leading the charge, with an angel by his side.

    Leading an army of humans against his own etherial people.

    This should be fun.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,524
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1077
  19. Tags
    Summary

    In the beginning God created Angels and then took a wine break. She then let them loose in the garden of animals. This was perhaps a bad idea.

    This is inspired by some plurk conversations I had with a plurk friend (Thanks Skree!) about the Good Omens Angelic hosts. When you love trash pigeons but also those trash pigeons are not only probably incredibly socially mal-adjusted but also martial creatures who need a bit more of a firm hand from their boss. Or more time with their “mom”.

    Essentially, you know you’re the bad guy when you piss off the guy who would probably forgive you if you did ANYTHING ELSE besides try and kill him and his lover.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    297
  20. Tags
    Summary

    No. No, because there won’t be an ‘again’.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    691
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    384

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