1 - 20 of 333 Works in Hell is Terrible (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Duke Shax,” Dagon says to the demon seated on an ornate throne inside. “I bring good—well, bad good—news!”

    Shax frowns. “How is this possible? She hasn’t cast anyone out in six thousand years. And when She does, it’s him?”

    or: Three years after choosing Heaven, the Supreme Archangel finds himself in Hell. A heartbroken Crowley is dragged in (or, rather, Down) for damage control.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,483
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    106
    Kudos:
    187
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    3,533
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After a trip to Hell, Crawley has a panic attack. Feeling too crowded around humans, he flees. Will Aziraphale be able to find a way to help without overwhelming him?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,327
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    238
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sequel to The Language of Forgiveness. After defeating the Metatron, Aziraphale and Crowley are adjusting to life together as a couple and the co-anchors of the Neutral Alignment. But Satan refuses to let Crowley go. He challenges the couple to a double-or-nothing bet; either both of them will go completely free—or be tortured by Hell forever. Aziraphale comes up with a plan-within-a-plan that will require the pair to bring their allies together, journey through Hell, and pull off the most audacious trick of their existence. What could possibly go wrong?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,467
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    301
  4. Tags
    Summary

    While trying to survive their abusive bosses, Aziraphale and Crowley rely on each other’s support. They even have plans for a cottage of their own. But times are changing, and the Apocalypse lurks just around the corner.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    98,551
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    4,731
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Do angels and demons ever hope?

    When you've danced around your hereditary enemy for so many years, wishing one day one of you would be brave enough to make a move, hope seems like a fickle, useless thing that should just be left in dreams.

    But Aziraphale allows himself to have a little hope. If not for a moment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,134
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    50
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley gets attacked and is almost a goner. With angelic assistance, he's brought back to health.

    Except he's now trapped in snake form.

    Aziraphale, with Muriel's helping hand, must learn how to care for a reptile (that appears to be getting larger) and find a way to turn him back.

    Hellish shenanigans ensue.

    (I may change the title, but wanted to get this one started, uploaded and off my brain)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,630
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    930
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Where do angels and demons go when they permanently discorporate? Turns out there's more than one Heaven. Aziraphale and Crowley go through Hell to get to the real one.

     

    [An alternative approach to Series 3; Neil Gaiman definitely won't go down this road.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,579
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    854
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley wasn’t much for sobriety. She thought it was a bit of a silly thing, a bit tedious to deal with when you were out and about. How were you supposed to let loose in any situation without alcohol running through your veins? She wouldn’t know, since she was always either completely intoxicated, or running on caffeine to the point where numbers were colours and people talked like Muppets.

    Unfortunately, during the raising of the antichrist, Aziraphale had convinced her to put away any alcohol that she might find herself reaching for during her shifts in the estate. Albeit reluctantly. Tonight however, the angel had pulled a bottle of whiskey from his cabinet in the garden shed and poured two glasses for them. He could tell she needed it.

    -

    During the raising of the antichrist, Crowley and Aziraphale get into all sorts of trouble, be it from Hell, Heaven, or simply hiding their feelings from each other- and the rest of the estate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,528
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    376
  9. Tags
    Summary

    There was only darkness around him. Nothing to see, nothing to grab, nothing to break his fall as he plummeted towards the rapidly approaching pool of gray boiling liquid.
    He was falling too fast to grab a hold of anything anyway. Too fast to shout or try to get his bearings.
    He landed in the pool, a scream tearing from his throat as his corporeal form immediately burned away.
    The pain did not relent.

     

    _____

     

    Or: Aziraphale falls and he and Crowley work together to get his angelic status back

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,615
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    276
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    5,804
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After Aziraphale leaves for Heaven, Hell becomes oddly interested in how they might use Crowley. Crowley, however, is not thrilled.

    [This work has many chapters to come. I intend on making this long, interesting, and full of angst and allusions to religious hierarchies and Jewish folklore...]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,230
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    201
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is tired. It had been an objectively bad week in general, and any hope he had of stopping (or at least escaping) The Apocalypse had vanished in the bandstand, just like his hope of ever being able to get his shit together and exist with his angel the way he really wanted to.

    A little heart-to-heart with Her was due.

    Or:

    Crowley has a breakdown and yells at God. After, the story progresses like canon and both angel and demon are dining at The Ritz. Was God as absent as they thought? Her Plan is ineffable, after all... ;)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,251
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    143
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Anthony J Fall is a humble plant shop owner in a seaside English town with no memory other then being found by his friends (and shop mates) four years ago and nothing to his name but his plants, his shop, and an old copy of Pride and Prejudice with a ripped photo of a magician inside. One day, Anthony gets commissioned to provide the flowers for a wedding in Soho and when he arrives gets swept into a plan that not only is meant to help him regain his memory, but also stop the second coming.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,790
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1,737
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "Avalon was old when it wore that name. Old and strange and full of wonder, guarded by holly trees and white stags, garlanded by springs that run with water clearer than starlight and hills that echoed with music even in the silence.

    ‘They told me Arthur was dead, Angel. That I should get up here and start a war now the Round Table’s broken.’ "

    Crowley, Aziraphale and the Fall of Avalon. The first time they worked together, and the times when magic was, maybe, still part of the world.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    704
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The Fall is horrible. Hundreds of former angels find themselves thrown into the abyss and crawling out of the Pits, damned, outcast, their natures forever twisted.

    But two of the newly-formed demons stand out from the rest very early on, and get punished for it. They get separated. One is sent upstairs to serve as an Earth-stationed agent, while the other one remains in Hell, the memory of his friend erased from his mind.

    Many millennia later, the Hell-bound demon receives a task to go upstairs and spy on his long lost friend and find out how he manages to set himself apart from the other agents.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,257
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    594
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh, but you’re an innovator, aren’t you, Crowley? You could do wonders in Hell. So… you’re being called back.” There it is, that smirk in all its glory. Crowley wishes he could grab Hastur by the shoulders and just shake it off his smug face.

    He needs to stop lying on his reports back to Head Office, he’s made too much of a name for himself. He thought it would keep his position safe, he thought it would mean that there wouldn’t be so many eyes on him so he could continue to live his life on Earth as he sees fit, but no. Of course not.

    ***

    Understaffing leads to Crowley’s reassignment. Together, Aziraphale and Crowley try to come up with a plan to keep him on Earth.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,246
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    194
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale teaches Crawley what hugs and cuddling are.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    495
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It shouldn’t come as a surprise, really, but Aziraphale still stares at the demons gathered outside his bookshop with a mix of shock and utter displeasure.

    If Crowley had taken the job with Hell, things might have been different. If Aziraphale had taken the job with Heaven, things might have been different. But neither of them had, and he finds it hard to really regret it. Hell - and Heaven, for that matter - want a war. There’s no telling whether any number of factors would have changed their mind, especially after the incident with the halo. They would not look kindly on that.

    ***

    Hell returns to the bookshop. Aziraphale and Crowley stand their ground.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,721
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    298
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley saved Elspeth's life, and Hell took notice. Crowley suddenly finds himself in the care of Hell's Grand Inquisitor and Master of Torments who is determined to uncover just what Crowley was doing in that Graveyard, and who exactly was there with him. Crowley knows that, no matter how much they might punish him for his good deed, it will be infinitely worse if they discover his relationship with Aziraphale. He knows he has to hold out for both of their sakes, but whether he can is another matter entirely.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,279
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    154
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The look of absolute despair on Aziraphale's face sears itself right into Crowley's mind and punches a hole straight through the ironclad chest he’s forged for himself.

    Because Crowley knows that look. He has fucking worn it too, in that very same drab and oh-so-beloved common room of that darn halfway home he refuses to think about. He fucking knows it feels like dying, shittier even, to realise that yeah, oh fucking yeah, everything you’ve ever known is gone and everyone who was supposed to be there for you, all those bastards, have just tossed you straight into oncoming traffic and they’re not even interested in watching the crash play out because it matters piss all to them if you make it out alive or not. He knows what it’s like to hit rock bottom so hard you leave a fucking crater behind.


    Or at 29, 6 years after turning his life around, Crowley meets Aziraphale, a 27 year-old recent cult escapee, and together they learn to live again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,959
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    713
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Furfur is very tired of his work. After Shax becomes Prince of Hell, he finds a way to scape taking trips to Earth, posing as a spy. He ends up finding comfort on the arms of a certain Shopkeeper of Wickber Street.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,874
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    85

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