1 - 20 of 55 Works in Jaskier | Dandelion Being an Idiot

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Geralt look! It’s a cat!” Jaskier exclaimed excitedly, walking toward the animal with his hand outstretched in front of him. “Oh hello there, cute one. Aren’t you a handsome thing?”

    “Jaskier,” Geralt warned, his grip loosening on his sword as he noted the distinctive markings around the animal’s eyes and nose. Not any real threat but- “It’ll likely not take kindly to being approached like that.”

    “Nonsense,” Jaskier replied with a dismissive wave back toward Geralt, one hand still held out in front of him. “You’re as friendly as friendly can be, aren’t you little- AAAH!”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,784
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    697
  2. Tags
    Summary

    It's a war. And what's a human being, in the grand scheme of things?

    [Previous summary :
    The countess de Stael lurks in the dark, and Jaskier can't really go far.
    Or : The countess de Stael is a spy master for the best of price. And Jaskier..well, he does what he can to survive.
    And who cares, Yennefer is always there, to pick up the pieces left. ]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,589
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2071
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier runs into some trouble in an inn one night. What starts with the trading of words quickly escalates. A punch is thrown.
    A smart man may have turned the other cheek, a smart man may have taken the hit and walked away.

    At times like this it would be a mistake to call Jaskier a smart man.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,028
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    154
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1012
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt keeps overhearing people analyzing Jaskier's songs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,396
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    425
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    1630
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier has disappeared for the better part of a day, so Geralt and his brothers go look for him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    955
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    904
  6. Tags
    Summary

    A soft and fluffy scene in a wildflower field as the boys get some rest. Can be read as gen or pre-relationship.

    ~~~~~
    “You really do love me, don’t you?” He asked flippantly, to mask the stuttering of his heart. He didn’t wait for food or an answer, choosing to turn and run through the wildflowers near the willow tree. Geralt turned to watch him go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    627
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    225
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Started writing this while working in the ER dealing with a fucking pandemic. Haven't really written since I graduated high school so.

    Jaskier is an NP working in a local ER in Novigrad when 2 witchers, Geralt and Lambert, are brought in as trauma ones after being caught by EMS post griffin hunt. Later in the year, Geralt and his family suddenly keep popping up in Jaskier's life. Jaskier can't help but wonder if this is the call to adventure he's been longing for his entire life.

    (If yall wanna give feedback itd be greatly appreciated as idk wtf I'm doing at all times aha) (Will try to update at least once a week. No promises though)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,707
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    141
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2605
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Ciri fell, Geralt at her back, in a tangle of arms and legs, through the portal, and the soft, late-winter stillness hit them like an honest-to-whatever-god-there-may-be flying fucking boulder.

    No crickets were chirping, the trees behind where they had landed barely rustling.

    She’d call it serenity, if the disjointed scrabble to reorient herself could be ignored for a moment.

    As it was, she just got, far too slowly, to her feet, rising from the barely-frosty grass to the tune of her own deep breaths, as she heard Geralt do the same behind her.

    It wasn’t silent, not by any stretch of the word.

    But, by the gods, was it silent.

    Or: Geralt and Ciri’s brief foray into the world of Death to the Details

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,319
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    682
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Geralt and Jaskier are ambushed by Nilfgaardian soldiers hunting Ciri.

    -

    He meant to howl it across the room at Jaskier, but the word came out as a slurred mutter instead -

    run.

    He lost consciousness with the aching thought that Jaskier would never have been able to hear it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,704
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    400
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1721
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier realizes two things at once. One: Geralt is going to be livid if he finds out that Jaskier was hurt during a fight, and there’s a very great chance that it will make him not want to take Jaskier on hunts in the future. He’ll say that Jaskier is at risk and is a risk himself, likely to cause Geralt to get distracted and wind up with one of them dead.

    And two: Geralt will blame himself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,382
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    475
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2188
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dandelion just HAD to sing that damn song one more time. He just had to....

    Even after the warning Yennefer gave him the last time. But some bards never learn until the truth is braying them in the face.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,389
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    850
  12. Tags
    Summary

    In which Jaskier has reluctantly accepted that his place is no longer in Geralt’s life and retreated home, only to find fate has other plans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,786
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    705
    Bookmarks:
    106
    Hits:
    3139
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier gets adopted by a Leshen, and Geralt is a tired, tired boyfriend.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    440
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    258
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1236
  14. Tags
    Summary

    You’ve heard of clueless Geralt? Well, let me introduce you to clueless Jaskier!

    OR

    Four times Geralt tells Jaskier he loves him, and one time Jaskier believes it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,243
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    529
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    2446
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier thinks (hopes) that, now that Geralt knows that he is not all human and vulnerable and squishy, the witcher will finally let him see some exciting things! Unfortunately, he is disappointed. So, what's a bored immortal to do? Get back into spywork, of course. And it all goes very well, until someone tries to introduce him to his own husband.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,621
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    730
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    3573
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The forest was quiet and still.

    And Geralt couldn't stand it. Why did nothing happen? It was frustrating and annoying.

     

    ...'Oh, I can help!' the creature said. 'My name is Kuba! Can you sing and play for me? I can trade!'
    The creature called Kuba held up a spoon.

    Something in Geralt's mind clicked. Kuba stood at about the height of an eight-year old child, with dark grey skin and eyes the size of, for want of a better word, dinner plates. They had sticks sticking out of their blue-black hair, but Geralt was sure that they weren't random twigs found in the forest, but rather the little godling's antlers.
    Something else also clicked, but right as he opened his mouth to say something, Jaskier had taken the trade...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,805
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    396
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier has just made amends with Geralt, and is anxiously awaiting the arrival of the witcher and his Child Surprise where they'd agreed to meet. While he waits, he sees Yennefer, and through very little fault of his own (it's entirely his fault) she turns into a child. If he's lucky, he can figure out how to fix this before Geralt comes by.

    [Songfic for 'everyone blooms' by The Front Bottoms]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,140
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1127
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Valdo rose with a sigh and grabbed the empty cup, intending to refill it, when Jaskier, completely naked and utterly filthy, tumbled in through the window.

    Valdo has returned to Oxenfurt for the bardic competition - and he's not the only one. Being slowly driven mad by his feelings for Jaskier and his unbreakable writer's block, he's ready to give up... until the object of his affection bursts through the window, looking for a place to hide. Valdo agrees to help, and Jaskier provides a rather effective solution for both of his problems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,406
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    339
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The crab clacks its claws (?) at him, orange shell glowing in the firelight. "Of course you like pets,” he mutters gleefully, slowly reaching out to the crab.

    “Jaskier, don’t,” Geralt growls, always frowny and grumpy and no fun fun.

    “Lighten up a little, I’m just giving the little guy some– OW. Fuck, fuck!– GERALT!”

    Or, Jaskier and Geralt get stuck on an island; Jaskier makes a crustacean friend before promptly losing him and Geralt's tired.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    673
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    337
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Roach, what’s that— Roach what’ve you got in your hand?” At least Jaskier’s trying, Geralt’s just gone wide-eyed in horror as their cat slashes at the incredibly detailed rubber dick, the thing bobbing slightly as she jumps away from it, only to pounce on it again.

    Oh boy, it’s fucking giant too, easily the size of Jaskier’s forearm and as thicker than his wrist– he wonders how the fuck Roach managed to drag it all the way to the middle of the living room but fuck, if she isn’t a Buff Cat.

     

     
    Or, Geralt and Jaskier come home to find Roach chewing on a dildo and thus starts the Curse of the Giant Rainbow Dildo. (Aka, Is my best friend gay? Because if so, I'd like him to rail me, thank you.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1516

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