16 Works in Osney Kettleblack

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    1980s AU. Hair Metal/Arena Rock SanSan.

    Straight-laced and a yuppie in the making, Sansa is dragged to a metal concert by Arya and Gendry where she captures the eye of the guitarist of the band Cannibal Star. Crude and lewd, Sandor is everything Sansa was certain she didn't want. Even with this unlikely match, sparks fly and misadventures ensue as their two worlds collide.

    Warning: I do not own the characters portrayed in this work, excluding original characters. Those belong to GRRM. I do however reserve the intellectual rights to the original content in this work and therefore do not grant permission for the copy of this work to other sites or applications.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    128,220
    Chapters:
    17/18
    Comments:
    1612
    Kudos:
    2067
    Bookmarks:
    387
    Hits:
    45738
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Trust fund kid Jaime Lannister loves his movie star girlfriend Cersei, and, even though they don't have matching soulmarks, he wants to settle down and start a family. Cersei has other plans, however, as she doesn't want to ruin her Size Zero figure in case it jeopardises her chance at an Iron Throne Award, and demands Jaime find a surrogate.

    Enter Brienne Tarth, struggling PhD student who volunteers her womb for nine months in exchange for a lump sum that will alleviate her debts and help her care for her sick father.

    Both Jaime and Brienne think it will be nothing more than a simple transaction, based on his desire for a child and her need for hard cash.

    Unfortunately, they have matching soulmarks.

    Oops.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,506
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Comments:
    2252
    Kudos:
    993
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    31833
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The job had sounded simple enough. Petyr Baelish, the wealthiest man in the Vale with powerful political connections, had been looking for a bodyguard for his daughter, a reclusive artist of nineteen, after she’d inadvertently witnessed a murder.

    But that was before Jon Snow had started working for the man…or met the girl.

    Beautiful and kind, Jon realizes he must guard his heart from becoming too personally attached to his charge, the lovely Alayne Stone. He's had enough trouble recently as it is. But he soon discovers she's like a puzzle that he can't quite figure out, mysterious and far too alluring to resist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    119,097
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    1110
    Kudos:
    977
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    20414
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "Margaery was young for a politician, Robb realized as he glanced at the file yet again. She must have worked incredibly hard to be vying for such an important position at the same age as him, and she whether she won or not she clearly had a promising career ahead of her. Robb was going to make sure there was no way that career would be cut short."

    When the safety of several political candidates is threatened in King's Landing, Robb Stark is hired to guard up-and-comer Margaery Tyrell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,865
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    323
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The Red Star draws ever nearer to Westeros heralding the return of thread after the Long Interval. With dragons on the verge of extinction and only a few bronze riders concerned with the coming of Thread the order from the King to hold a Conclave and redistribute draconic strength launches a deadly power struggle between the weyrleaders and the lords of the Seven Kingdoms.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,199
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    509
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Суровый и совершенно непредсказуемый вид спорта, если его вообще можно назвать спортом. Один точный удар - и ты либо побеждён, либо победил. Другого мира он не знал... Так он думал, пока не встретил её.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    25,978
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    270
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Today was Sandor’s birthday, and like countless years prior to this one, he thought that he would be celebrating it on his own. When the gorgeous redheaded object of his desire shows up unannounced on his doorstep, however, Sandor's wish just may come true after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,863
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    274
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2659
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sansa works at Camp Westerland and is pleasantly surprised when her childhood crush becomes a counselor there as well for the summer. But despite the rekindling of her feelings for him, Sansa knows they cannot be.

    *Author's Note: Due to personal reasons there is going to be an indefinite hiatus with this story. I apologize to all of my readers*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,535
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1235
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The Lannisters have ruled Westeros peacefully since the last Purge. The Starks are gone; killed with the help of the Bolton's and the Frey's. But the North remembers. Many are seeking vengeance for their dead. No one witnessed the killing of the Stark girls and no bodies have been found, apart from Joffrey's, who had sworn that he would be the one to kill the she-wolves. There is also no sign of the Stark boys and Theon Greyjoy has been missing for the past year. But sometimes, screams of agony and terror are heard from deep within the Dreadfort. Could they belong to the missing kraken?
    It is the night of the annual Purge in the city of Westeros. For twelve hours, all crime including murder is legal. All emergency services such as the City Watch, the Kings Guard and the Night's Watch will be suspended. There is going to be a war out there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,780
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    357
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    3033
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Megga has exciting news for her cousin the queen: a tale of forbidden passion between two knights close to the throne.

    Margaery may or may not already know more about the affair than she lets on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,028
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    859
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Promises meant nothing; they were little more than pretty words, and Sansa had heard enough of them to last her a lifetime. But the way that Margaery spoke, with that strange fierceness in her voice—for a moment, Sansa could almost believe her.

    Margaery and Sansa, together over the length of A Storm Of Swords.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,011
    Chapters:
    6/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    327
    Kudos:
    1149
    Bookmarks:
    302
    Hits:
    47481
  12. Tags
    Summary

    In which the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard provides instruction on sparring like Dornishmen, to Bronn's inexplicable fascination.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,128
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    3113
  13. Tags
    Summary

    modern AU

    The Hound is a retrieval expert for the mob boss "The Stag" Robert Baratheon. Someone owes The Stag money and Sandor Clegane is sent in to collect; in one way or another. It's been an easy and cushy existence in The Stags employment until things start to fall apart and Sandor finds things becoming ever more complicated for him. Kidnapping was not his area of expertise. Kidnapping Sansa Stark? That was a new low, even for him.

    Ok... Warning: I have no clue where I'm going with all of this. I'm just kinda writing this shit as it occurs to me. I can't guarantee a nice fluffy ending for everyone so don't hate me when I go all GRRM on y'all and start killing people. Hopefully, this story will be funny, horrifying, suspenseful and sexy. Sorry it's taking so long to get to the "sexy" part, but it is on it's way. ^_^

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,577
    Chapters:
    49/49
    Comments:
    767
    Kudos:
    354
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    25939
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A walk to remember.....

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,779
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2211
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Sandor discovers, after he passed out drunk in their apartment, Sansa took full advantage of his unconscious body and painted his nails, toenails, as well as giving him a makeover.

    Sansan prompt.

    Just a fun little drabble. I did it all in one sitting while i was almost as intoxicated as Sandor. Its messy and silly, but i had fun writing it.

    Enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,724
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2294
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The morning after a big party, Arya finds Sansa trying to sneak out of her own house. Who was the perfect Sansa trying to sneak away from?

    Written from Arya's POV, the sister's find themselves at an uncomfortable breakfast.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,639
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3738

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