1 - 20 of 33 Works in Sarcastic Harry Potter

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    What if when Harry first met Draco in Madam Malkins they were friendly. What if Draco was a little less of a git. What if his father had come back from buying Dracos books a little early and Harry saw how Draco acted around his own father. So then on the train ride to Hogwarts Harry and Draco sat together and they talked, became friends. What if they talked about how Slytherins aren't actually evil. What if Harry realized being in Slytherin might not be so bad? What if he became a Slytherin. When Harry is a Slytherin and he and Draco are little terrors at Hogwarts but it still somewhat follows the plot.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,409
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    173
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of one shots and stand alone stories revolving around the pairing of Draco and Harry. Set throughout the years, Hogwarts and Post-Hogwarts. (Drarry)
    [1] Boat Full of Love
    [2] Copper Coated Manuscripts
    [3] Starlit Meetings
    [4] Misdirection and Rerouting
    [5] Raindrops of Love

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,327
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Hits:
    444
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Hadrian Travis Potter siempre supo que era diferente. Que estaba destinado a ser poderoso, a la grandeza.
    Y los demás, a lamer sus botas como las sucias ratas que eran. Lily Potter no cree poder cambiar la forma de pensar y ver las cosas de su hijo, Theodore, por otro lado, sabe que él es el único que puede entender y cambiar a su hermano para bien.
    Añade a la mezcla de una familia con dos padres imbéciles, dos gemelos, uno psicópata y narcisista y el otro con una moral que cree que es perfecta pero no lo es, a un Tom Riddle sádico y hambriento por corromper a Hadrian hasta llevarlo a la locura.

    Nada puede salir mal, ¿cierto?

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    13,475
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    575
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When the Dursley's increasing hatred for Harry and his magic become too much for him, he spends as much time as he can at the library with the mysterious Maggie, a witch who insists that Harry is a wizard and that she can help him. Harry doesn't know what to believe, but Maggie lends him books and has really cool eyeliner so he's content with that. Maybe one day he'll even go to this Hogwarts place that she talks about. What will they think of him? Can Maggie really be trusted? What plans has Harry unwittingly caught himself up in? With all this to consider Harry may need to worry first about getting to Hogwarts alive.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,508
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    248
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    4260
  5. Tags
    Summary

    If you had a chance to do it over again, make things better, would you take it?

    or

    Harry fakes it 'til he makes it.

    OR

    Harry -somehow- accidentally goes back in time.

     

    This book will be covering The Philosopher's Stone, and beyond that - but don't worry about it being too chunky; each book will have a little intermission chapter to break it up a bit :). And yes, I do plan on going all the way - full steam ahead!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,593
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    293
    Kudos:
    1278
    Bookmarks:
    438
    Hits:
    21376
  6. Tags
    Summary

    After getting a letter from the Ministry Harry is done playing around and chooses to grow up being whoever he wants to become

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,982
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    189
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    2232
  7. Tags
    Summary

    At Kings Cross, Harry meets someone other than Dumbledore. That someone sends Harry back in time to change things. Can Harry, with his future knowledge and new mentor, change his future for good? Or will this time travel not have the desired effects?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,208
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    653
    Bookmarks:
    220
    Hits:
    12017
  8. Tags
    Summary

    After their romantic encounter in the Gryffindor common room, Harry and Ginny get into an "argument" about who exactly kissed who.

     
    (Inspired by the FRIENDS episode "The One With the Videotape")

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,426
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1057
  9. Tags
    Summary

    He wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. The boy-who-lived was now the son of Hades, oh, the irony. But, he couldn’t really think of any other god that would fit. After all, he’d cheated death twice, Hades had to be involved somehow.

    In which Harry is Fate's Chew-Toy until the very end.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,044
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    604
    Bookmarks:
    213
    Hits:
    6472
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Harry had expected many things after the war, but two godly beings crashing into his life was not one of them. When they gave him an opportunity to go back in time and change everything, he accepted, how could he not? Jumping back in time into a whole new world that was so similar was freeing, and Harry wouldn't change it for the world.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Fuck it,” said Harry brazenly. “Why not fuck everything up, could be fun.” Fate and Death grinned maniacally, and Harry joined in.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,165
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    759
    Bookmarks:
    232
    Hits:
    14715
  11. Tags
    Summary

    When Draco goes storming into a rarely-used dungeon classroom to hide from Death-Eater rantings, the last thing he expected to find was Harry Potter bleeding out on the cold stone floor. Nevertheless he does, and what he decides to do next will change everything.

     

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,400
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    325
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    5758
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Everyone knew Harry James Potter to be the Boy-Who-Lived. Except, of course, for the boy himself.
    But what if Harry started to ask questions?
    Questions like: Why am I constantly in danger? And: Who keeps putting me in bloody deathtraps?!

    Let's see the answers for ourselves, shall we?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,608
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    334
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    3686
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Harry is the Master of Death!
    He keeps getting reborn into different dimensions, each time with the task to save and protect. Luckily he is never alone, his soulmate makes sure of that.

    In his fourteenth life Harry Potter is born as Gwaine Shepherd.
    Everything suddenly centers around a mysterious gene defect, a handsome time travel partner and don´t forget the crazy pseudo scientists!
    All in all Gwaine/Harry is pretty sure this life will be entertaining.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,190
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1474
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Harry es un drogadicto, un alcohólico, un mal amigo, y en pocas palabras una mierda. Tom Riddle es todo lo contrario y solo quiere ayudar a Harry.

    “Las drogas pueden ser muy divertidas, pero te hacen ver el lado más terrible y crudo del ser humano.”
    -Kate Moss-

    Series
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    5,499
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    409
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Harry had no choice but to run. When everyone in the world knew your name, where can you go? With help from unlikely allies, Harry and his adopted werewolf son end up in the past with the country on the brink of war. Finding themselves in the middle of a pack's territory with a very familiar Alpha, Harry will have to try and stop their newfound family from going into ruin. Can he protect his new pack when his heart is on the line?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,467
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    860
    Bookmarks:
    266
    Hits:
    11360
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A girl, thought to be muggleborn, left behind by her family the moment they found out she's a witch but is quickly adopted into another.

    A boy, different from his family just for his courage and chivalry. Death's chosen.

    What happens to them now?
    Where are they?
    Who are they?

    Well, that'd be spoiling now.

    [Marauders' Era; Sirius Black-centric and Lily Evans-centric]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,398
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    488
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Harry had a hairband. He knew he did. So where the fuck was it? And WHY did it appear on his husband's wrist?!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    933
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1086
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A surprise for everyone: THE Harry Potter (Savior of the Wizarding World, Boy-Who-Lived, yada yada yada) was sorted into Hufflepuff. The audacity of that Sorting Hat! The entire world filled with witches and wizards had demanded a resort! Well, the ones in Britain did. Especially those that went to Hogwarts themselves, sorted into the best house: Slyth-- GRYFFINDOR!

    Harry Potter, a poor boy left to defend himself from the wilds of crazy people expecting too much from him, is left to show the world how dangerous it is to poke a badger.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,672
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    618
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    11776
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Voldemort felt a flicker of surprise when the Potter child looked upon him with curiosity instead of fear. Surely his crimson-eyed visage would frighten the boy. However, the child remained unperturbed, and for a fleeting moment the Dark Lord almost hesitated.


    Harry Potter was a Beauxbatons prodigy, raised by a proper pair of guardians and mentored by Death himself.

    He also grew up rather fascinated by a certain Dark Lord. And how could he not have been? For, Harry's mind, fate, and soul were linked to Voldemort's in more ways than one.

    Collision was inevitable from the beginning.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,772
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    166
    Kudos:
    1065
    Bookmarks:
    333
    Hits:
    16919
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "But why us? Why now?"

    "It's just like the Sorting Hat said, Harry. The houses must unite and I think us, the founders, coming back means that the Houses have to unite once more or-"

    "Hogwarts will crumble from within." Padma nodded. "Exactly. So whoever is Slytherin and Hufflepuff, we'll be needing them on our side to somehow unite the houses."

    "You know this is madness right? People won't believe that we're somehow the reincarnated founders of Hogwarts without them sending us to an asylum?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,172
    Chapters:
    11/20
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    4110

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