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    Summary

    "Rule one, we are just kissing. No touching. Rule two, do what I tell you."

    "Kinky. Didn't know you had it in you."

    ===

    Ever since returning to their own bodies and to Drearburh, Harrow and Gideon's dynamic had gotten weird. You could say they were finally getting along now, about time after almost 2 decades of knowing each other, but this was something more than that. It was tension both of them refused to admit.

    Which is why, when Gideon asks Harrow to teach her how to kiss, Harrow can't bring herself to say no. And Gideon says she wants to learn so she can get girls, but they both know Harrow's the only girl she wants.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,827
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    196
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes your sister tells you she's getting married with basically no notice. Sometimes you have to buy a really great dress.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,890
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “There’s something romantic about it, don’t you think?” she murmurs into Jody’s shoulder, after even Jody has given in and gone to bed.

    “What do you mean?” Jody asks, and from the question alone Corona knows that Jody doesn’t see it.

    “You know. The long night. Weeks of total darkness, cold enough that we have to huddle for warmth by candlelight, with no-one but the stars as our witness…anything could happen,” she purrs, and lets her hand wander up and down Jody’s thigh to underscore her point. Gooseflesh raises against her palm, and Jody scoots a little closer. She probably doesn’t even realise. Her body craves Corona’s touch like warmth, like shelter, and Corona is terrified that one day Jody might grow used to its availability.

    There’s silence, now, except for the pattering of rain against the window, a quiet that drags out for so long it becomes abundantly clear how much Jody does not get it.

     

    Judith, Coronabeth, and the longest night.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,945
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    50
  4. Tags
    Summary

    A series of drabble requests!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,529
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    181
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon and Harrow traverse a haunted house attraction to uncover its simmering secrets—and to cause some Halloween mischief of their own along the way~.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,352
    Chapters:
    4/7
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    737
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The Continent was used to the occasional visitors from other dimensions, but when a trap surrounding the doors of the Tomb sends Gideon and Aiglamene hurtling to a new home, Gideon finds herself with a new calling, and maybe a better chance at having a life. A series of oneshots set in a 'Gideon joins the Witcher's Bear School and gets to be a little bit happier' AU (This is my first fic in a LONG time, any feedback would be really appreciated)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,092
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    192
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “You should make it more interesting,” Coronabeth laughs, with a beer bottle in her hand and a scheming smile on her full red lips.

    “How?” Gideon asks, her body bent over the pool table, aiming for a risky shot.

    “Make a bet or something. Something dare-y. Something that would really make you work hard to win, you know?” She taps a long index on her chin while biting her lips, pensive.

    “Like, what?” Gideon prods, taking a sip of her beer.

    “Like, if Harrow wins, you have to give her head for a month.”

    *

    Harrow and Gideon really enjoy bickering with each other, which is something that every one of their friends has noticed by now. When Coronabeth proposes an indecent bet to push them together (while a bit tipsy, to be fair), no one really pays much mind to what happens after. The problem is, God forbid one of them steps away from the challenge.

    Or, ‘Honestly, we all headcanon Gideon as a pussy-eating champion. Now she has to give head for 30 days AU’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,820
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    380
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    8,241
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Over the years, Camilla Hect has tried to keep her feelings for Corona bottled up. Now getting with her is actually achievable and Camilla needs to sort out her feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,083
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    46
  9. Tags
    Summary

    In one of the locked rooms of Canaan house, Gideon and Harrow find an old computer, containing video material of the original lyctors. They, of course, dutifully survey it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,518
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,395
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After the catastrophic events concerning the births of Kiriona Gaia and Harrowhark Nonagesimus, they try to navigate their existence in a world full of superficial relationships and discover the secrets behind perfect lyctorhood and necromancy.

    Alabaster Chambers throw out their open graves, the order of the world falls apart, the bloodthirsty howls of anarchists enfold the ceremony of innocence and a pitiless lullaby rings into the ears, cradled by the hands of Angels.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,021
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    28
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “My goodness, you are a big pup,” Harrow murmured, stepping a little closer. “And so… fit. My name is Harrowhark.”

    Oh my god. Harrow didn’t recognize her under her pup hood at all! This was great! She could mime her way through some polite back-and-forth, make a graceful exit, and hide under Dulcinea’s table before you could say “Fuck yeah!” Relaxing a little, Gideon pulled back her shoulders and stood up straight, showing off just how big and fit she was. Harrow reached out as if to run her fingers over Gideon’s well-muscled arm, then suddenly withdrew her hand.

    “Excuse me,” she said, a blush blooming across her cheeks. She shoved her hands into her pockets. “I am not usually so handsy, or so hasty, for that matter. But there is something about you I find… alluring.”

    Fuck, Gideon thought, she was not going to make it back to that table.

    ---

    Gideon goes to a fetish party, makes some new friends, and runs into her fucking ex.

    Complete fic, posting weekly on Sundays.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,992
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2,128
  12. Tags
    Summary

    He’s not starting on pole, and you can tell that makes him nervous. You help him into his underwear, first the leggings and then the skin-tight shirt, and where the way it makes the end of his braid frizz momentarily would normally elicit a pinched frown, now he scowls.
    “Colum, we should have used a different product today. This feels like an ill omen.”

    (Colum helps Silas get ready for a race.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    654
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    9
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Silas is all of seven years old, when the previous Master Templar is forced to retire. It’s early, based on what the geneticists and physicians had calculated—the plan is generally for a neat handover at the age of eleven or twelve, but one cannot account for several Shepherd planets rebelling at the same time, requiring the Master Templar’s presence and expertise.
    One cannot account fully for how a cavalier might break, if their faith is weak or their genome is faulty or their personality is unsuitable.

    (Colum bears witness to the death of the previous Master Templar's cavalier primary. He hides Silas from seeing it.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,207
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “Prince Kiriona at your service.” She flashed that white charming half grin "and what's your name, my dark fairy?”

    Harrow didn't know what summoned her to do it. Perhaps It was just because she was still shocked that her childhood foe didn't recognize her in this ridiculous get up, or that she was presented with a fake name as well. But slowly, dreamily she responded.

    “Nona”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,202
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    380
  15. Tags
    Summary

    John looks up from his Jack and Coke in drunken curiosity.
    "What's with the face, Harrowhark?" he asks, genuinely concerned.
    "Contrary to popular belief," Gideon butts in, "her face just fuckin' looks like that, bitch." She tends to use "bitch" as liberally as commas when off her ass.
    "You're piss drunk," you shoot back.
    "And you, my good bitch, are just as contemptible as the day you clawed your way up from Hell."
    -
    It is Harrowhark Nonagesimus' birthday, and it only gets worse from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    181,899
    Chapters:
    42/?
    Comments:
    481
    Kudos:
    598
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    27,119
  16. Tags
    Summary

    If stretching Nona is the only way to make sure her muscles don't deteriorate, would masturbation count as cardio for her?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,237
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    159
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “Oops. Did I interrupt a little Ninth heart-to-no heart there? I just suddenly realized I actually do like to cuddle after sex.”
    Kiriona bristled, locking her eyes on Ianthe. “Don’t even bother, you milky skank. She knows.” And she doesn’t even care enough to be jealous, was what she didn’t say.
    ***
    Just Harrow and her pair of hopeless simps having a totally normal evening on the Ninth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,362
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    166
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “If you let my hands go right now, I would totally not abuse that power,” she lied again.
    Harrow laughed, the sound suddenly unbearably attractive. “Yeah?”
    “Absolutely. I wouldn’t even be selfish about it. Give me five minutes and we’ll see how many times I can get you off, my Skeletal Queen.”
    “Really? You sure?” Harrow smirked. “You wouldn’t get distracted and wander off?”
    Gideon scoffed. “Of course not. Unlike certain others, I am a good girl.”
    Harrow's un-calloused hands cupped her jaw warmly. “A very good girl.” She kissed her on the nose, and Gideon Nav ceased functioning.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,442
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    574
  19. Tags
    Summary

    She had noticed through careful observation that the majority of necromancers behaved weirdly at dinner events. Particularly necromancers of Ianthe's calibre - or of whatever, significantly lower calibre the rest of the Canaan House hopefuls were. Few of them had a normal relationship with food. It was only the very insufferable ones who thought they were special about it.

    (Ianthe + food. Set pre-canon and during the events of Gideon the Ninth)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,962
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    28
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Colum knows only one way to have his brothers reconcile from a big fight.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    28

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