Cucumbert



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  1. Rec *

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    “Malfoy,” she said. She was proud of herself. It was aloof. Non-committal.
    It effectively hid the fact that she was seconds away from declaring herself a basketcase and he was the reason why.
    “Granger.”
    Well, hello to you, too. Hermione thinned her lips, eyes narrowing with suspicion. “What is it, Malfoy?”
    “I’m going crazy.”
    “That’s nice,” she said, fighting hard to not have that aforementioned breakdown right then and there. What did he want? Wasn’t it enough that he’d been tormenting her for weeks now by doing exactly nothing? Why did he now have to also do something and make it worse?

    (...Or what happens after your nemesis finds you masturbating in an alcove and the encounter haunts your every waking moment).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,322
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    152
    Kudos:
    1360
    Bookmarks:
    258
    Hits:
    20744

    16 Jan 2021

  2. Rec *

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    Hermione has never mastered Occlumency, so she blocks her mind with violent thoughts whenever she and Tom Riddle cross paths. One day in History of Magic, she accidentally thinks of his penis while she tries to come up with new torture methods.

    'Trust Riddle,' Hermione thinks, 'to not bat an eye at maiming and murdering, but the thought of me touching his prick makes him freak out.'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,340
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    96
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    1105
    Bookmarks:
    286
    Hits:
    18254

    30 Nov 2020

  3. Rec *

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    Contrary to what she claimed, it wasn’t grass and new parchment and spearmint toothpaste she smelled.

    A mind-boggling amalgamation of confusion followed by a peripheral realization, and then instantaneous fear made her flush so severely that the room went fuzzy around the edges of her vision as she choked out the lie.

    It was old parchment housed in the restricted section, tart green apples, and something spicy—not cinnamon, cloves?—that lingered inside her nostrils. She was woozy, her lids drooping heavily, even as a small part of her brain screamed at how wrong this was. A larger, louder part of her shoved the shame down in favor of baser instincts. Those instincts dampened and dissipated and the shame crowded in the further removed she was from the delicate, unmistakable scent wafting from the cauldron.

    WINNER of Mischief Managed Award (Best Recently Completed Story) 2019 Enchanted Awards
    WINNER of Summer Lovin' Award (Best Love Story) 2019 Enchanted Awards

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    156,052
    Chapters:
    32/32
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1447
    Kudos:
    5603
    Bookmarks:
    2043
    Hits:
    210187

    10 Apr 2020

  4. Rec *

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    This is the story of three individuals drawn to each other with the gravity of two massive giants circling a scorching sun; like titans forever locked in an interstellar dance, slow and steady, to a song nobody else is privy to. On their dance hinges the fate of billions of much smaller stories, those flickering lights, and the universe waits with bated breath as it unfolds.

    ****


    Three weeks after the events of Starkiller base, Kylo Ren brings Rey onto the Finalizer kicking and screaming before departing to complete his training, and Hux finds himself in the role of her interrogator. Let's just say it doesn't end well. But power struggles also have a way of bringing together unlikely individuals.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    332,245
    Chapters:
    46/46
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3679
    Kudos:
    2173
    Bookmarks:
    615
    Hits:
    53499

    11 Aug 2017

  5. Rec *

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    "I remember everything!" he snarls, loud enough to make her flinch. "How you move— the way you breathe—" His words hitch on a strangled half-sob; he stares at her like a man caught in a waking dream as he skims the line of her jaw with his knuckles, stopping to touch the pad of his thumb to her bottom lip. "How your eyes met mine in the starlight," he continues through a broken, haunted rasp of a voice, "and I felt like the look on your face."

    Or: What is alive must heal. What cannot heal must endure.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    145,765
    Chapters:
    32/32
    Comments:
    4113
    Kudos:
    6499
    Bookmarks:
    1429
    Hits:
    149918

    22 Jan 2017