Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike



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  1. Words:
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    Bookmarks:
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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    the prompt speaks for itself: my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick AU. please note the change in rating.

    Language:
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    Words:
    36,780
    Chapters:
    3/3
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    02 Mar 2021

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    None of Bella's stories had ever told of the hard work of cleaning up a battle, there was no glory in it. But it was better to throw herself into the work than face the fact that she had very nearly lost the ones she loved, face the trauma of the battle, of the dragon sickness, of all the darkness that loomed over her shoulder. After all, tears were for when you were in privacy, and there was precious little of that when one was named regent for a grievously wounded king.

    Language:
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    51,068
    Chapters:
    5/5
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    397
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    137
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    13 Jan 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Fíli lived his life by an old dwarven proverb: when a fool drops a treasure, a wise man picks it up (it sounded better in the original khuzdul).

    Bella Baggins never quite fit in the Shire. Perhaps she was made for the mountains, instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,323
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    1466
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    12 Jan 2021

  4. Public Bookmark 17

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    Blueberry Baggins had a problem.

    She had gone on an Adventure, stopped some Trolls, visited with Elves, broken out thirteen dwarves from a different bunch of Elves, found the Arkenstone, riddled with (and burgled!) a Dragon, and stopped a war. She had fallen in love with Thorin Oakenshield, and helped restore him to his rightful throne as King Under the Mountain. They were to be married. She would be his Queen.

    But what would her married name be?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,827
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    43
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    182
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    17
    Hits:
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    11 Jan 2021

  5. Public Bookmark 27

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    The only way Joe gets through being utterly terrible at mornings is with copious amounts of caffeine at his favorite cafe, best served by the (steaming) hot Italian Barista, Nico. If there's more on the menu, he doesn't know it (yet). Luckily, Nile is tired of her boss pining for the local artist, and of the creepy ex-military guy that constantly comes in to flirt. She sees an opportunity, and she (at least) is awake enough to make the most of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,815
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1233

    24 Dec 2020