HistoricallyInnacurate



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  1. Rec *

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    Because the belief that Hobbits grew their babies in a cabbage patch had to come from somewhere.

    “What’s on your wrist, Bella?” Tauriel asked from her place at the dining table when Bél walked past her, nodding toward Bella’s right side.

    Bella frowned and looked down at her right hand and then her mouth fell open in shock. Printed on the inside of her wrist, directly underneath her palm, plain as daylight, was a circlet of lily-shaped blossoms connected by an emerald green vine.

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    12 May 2021

  2. Rec *

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    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

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    11 May 2021

  3. Rec *

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    The thing Gandalf neglected to mention when he assured Thorin Oakenshield and Company that Bilbo Baggins of Bag End would be the perfect thief for their mission was this:

    A Hobbit wouldn't be able to tell a diamond from a pearl, or from an Arkenstone - no matter how hard they try.

    This leads to some confusion, on Bilbos part. And some frustration, again on Bilbos part.

     

    (What sort of a description was 'heart of the mountain', anyway? A useless one, that's what.)

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    11 May 2021

  4. Rec *

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    In which everyone sees the budding romance between Thorin and Bilbo, except, of course, for Thorin and Bilbo themselves.

    Also, Dis brings the fear of God in other Dwarves and likes to meddle in her big brother's romantic life, and if she has to do this through scathingly written letters, then so be it.

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    11 May 2021

  5. Rec 88

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    All sorts of needs were welling up in Bilbo nowadays, things like being kissed where only Thorin ever dared to, like inhaling the rapturous smell of Thorin’s hair, like hearing Thorin rumble his name as if it were a thunderstorm in his throat. He had never needed so much of anyone, before all this.

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    10 May 2021