I_dont_even_know



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  1. Public Bookmark 5

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    “Hullo Malfoy,” Ron said with a grimace. “Take a seat, will you? You’re not going to like this.”

    “I thought as much.” Malfoy smiled, an understated, wry thing, and pulled a chair up to Ron’s desk so that they were facing each other. “So what is it? Evil deeds need sniffing out in Rotherham? Anti-muggle sentiment requires some artificial stoking in deepest, darkest Doncaster?”

    “I don’t think evil misdeeds only happen up north,” Ron pointed out. He had intended it as a sort of half-joke but Malfoy’s lips stayed pressed shut. “But no, it’s none of that. It’s... actually, it’s quidditch.”

    Language:
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    Chapters:
    1/?
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    13 Mar 2024

  2. Public Bookmark 10

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    “What if I do something to fuck it up?”

    “You’ll be fine. Everyone loves you, you’re perfect. Perfect wife, perfect life.”

    “Ah,” Harry says, cheeks flushing hotly. “About that.”

    --

    Or, Harry Potter is campaigning to be the next Prime Minister and there's only one man who can help him get there.

    Language:
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    6,059
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
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    54
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    10
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    12 Mar 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Young omega Warden Lord Mieczysław Stilinski, given the royal request of marrying Crown Prince Derek Hale of Triskelion, predictably messes the whole entire thing up.

    Or –

    An arranged marriage, mistaken identity, a/b/o, accidental heat fic

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,686
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    269
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    9,310
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    11 Feb 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Glenn’s life has fallen apart, and he's just trying to get back on his feet— he’s moved back to his hometown, got a job at some pizza place, and is just trying to save up so he can afford to move back to Atlanta and away from his parents' disappointed gazes.

    But on a routine delivery out to the trailer park, Glenn ends up running into some trouble… trouble, in the form of some crazy meth head lady trying to eat his face off. Turns out, the whole trailer park has gone topsy-turvy, and Glenn ends up taking off into the woods to preserve his whole 'still living' situation.

    Then there was that strange, ominous radio broadcast that he’d caught wind of earlier… Before he can worry too much about all of that, he comes across the path of some guy who looks like he lives in the woods. As fate would have it, he's the brother to the guy Glenn was trying to deliver his pizza to, and his name's Daryl. And, out of everyone in the world, he seems like the best guy for Glenn to hitch his cart to, when the whole world is about to go up in flames.

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    71,712
    Chapters:
    18/?
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    870
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    10 Jan 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Milton is a low-level employee for the government. All night, he watches over the most prized-possession of the secret laboratory he works in, hoping one day he would be able to see its eyes. However, he finds out something shocking about the subject he's been monitoring, and starts to feel a small flicker of guilt.

    That's probably his first mistake.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    493
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    108
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    5,592

    20 Dec 2023