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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco Malfoy is not an owl, really he isn’t. He simply assumes the shape of one on occasion when he wants to find a bit of privacy—a goal entirely thwarted because Harry Potter doesn’t understand you can’t just grab any old bird from the Owlery and force it to send your missives and deliver your packages.

    Language:
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    10/10
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    18 Apr 2021

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco finds himself in hot water with the Aurors, and in a burst of panicked inspiration manages to wiggle out of it by claiming to be a Seer. There's just one little problem– Senior Auror Harry Potter, the Prat Who Lived, who's known him for a decade, knows full well Draco doesn't have a single psychic bone in his body and seems determined to pull him up for it. Now, the Department is demanding he help them solve cases, Potter's looming over his shoulder at every turn, and worst of all, he hasn't had a shag in weeks because of all this bother. What's a pseudo-Seer to do?

    Language:
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    20,840
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    241
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    176
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    16 Apr 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Draco finds himself in hot water with the Aurors, and in a burst of panicked inspiration manages to wiggle out of it by claiming to be a Seer. There's just one little problem– Senior Auror Harry Potter, the Prat Who Lived, who's known him for a decade, knows full well Draco doesn't have a single psychic bone in his body and seems determined to pull him up for it. Now, the Department is demanding he help them solve cases, Potter's looming over his shoulder at every turn, and worst of all, he hasn't had a shag in weeks because of all this bother. What's a pseudo-Seer to do?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,840
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    241
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    762
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    176
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    16 Apr 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

    Features: Little League Quidditch, an abundance of bath bombs, happy endings, and gay robots in space.

    Language:
    English
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    96,144
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    16 Apr 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    His eyes studied the three of them and he huffed arrogantly before putting his hands up in surrender. He raised an eyebrow at Granger.

    “Where were you keeping that?” he had to ask, looking at her wand. But before she could replay, Ron punched him. In the face.

    Draco stumbled backwards, but managed to keep his balance.

    “Don't you dare speak to my wife, you filthy mutt!” Ron snarled at him. Draco touch his lip with one finger when he felt something wet against his bottom lip, it didn't take a genius to figure out it was blood. He looked at Weasley, trying to keep his cool, he let out a sigh.

    “You know what? I came here to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now." [edited 28/02]

    Language:
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    16 Apr 2021