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The following is a transcript from the cutting-room-floor-archives of the podcast, “The Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner”, taken from episode 235, “Fun With Current Events”. Some portions have been edited for clarity, or censored to maintain a PG-rating. None of the following aired publicly.
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something like love with nowhere to go by Macremae
Fandoms: Sweeney Todd - Sondheim/Wheeler
11 Jul 2023
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In which Johanna Barker cleans out her father’s room, reads a book, and writes some letters– in roughly that order.
Or: two Jews, three opinions on the man that was Benjamin Barker.
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When Jo is twelve years old, she and the rest of the soccer team crowd into a dingy but cheap ice cream shop after their first game of the season, and her eyes widen at the extra scoop of rocky road (she thinks?) the woman behind the counter gives her with a wink. It will take her another four years to realize the woman is winking at Jo’s dad, coming to the conclusion on the first day of her new summer job that she was definitely only hired to scoop ice cream for the next three months because her boss wants to fuck him.
Being sixteen, Jo has decided, sucks ass.
Snippets from a better, kinder universe in which Jo has the summer job from hell, Nellie wants to fuck Jo’s dad, and Ben Barker is a single father trying his best. He works at GreatClips.
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does it ever drive you crazy (just how fast the night changes) by Macremae
Fandoms: The Play That Goes Wrong Series - Lewis & Sayer & Shields, The Goes Wrong Show (TV 2019)
06 Dec 2022
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After lighting a cigarette and placing the lighter back on her bedside table, Molly took a crisp drag and turned to him. “So, would you like to know how many times you said my brother’s name during sex, or were you personally counting?”
Chris made a face like a man whose mediocre dinner had just been interrupted by a trip to the Hague. “Let’s talk about something else, please.”
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MONOLOGUE- After several more agonizing minutes, a man shuffles his way downstairs. There is truly no other way to appropriately react to his appearance– the bulbous red nose, the eyebags with sidecars, the greasy strings of hair swinging about his face– other than:
SPOTLIGHT- You tilt your head down slightly and stare headlong at the audience. One eyelid twitches.
MONOLOGUE- That is the ugliest necktie you have ever seen.
SPOTLIGHT- “That is the ugliest necktie I have ever seen.”
No one has asked Kim Kitsuragi a question about himself in forty-four years. Then, he starts getting a lot of them.
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newmann one-shots by emma_394, Macremae, OnyxSphinx
Fandom: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer, Jamestown (TV), Pacific Rim (Movies), Torchwood, Welcome to Night Vale
01 Dec 2021
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a series of unconnected Newmann one-shots
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In which post-Uprising, Newt is handed a classroom of rapscallion murder teens with no giant monsters to murder, and is told to put that STEM teaching background to good use. Fuck you, Jake Pentecost. How's he supposed to be "hip with the youngsters" now?
(The elephant toothpaste demonstration will probably help his chances.)
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They say recovery comes in threes. First with the mind, then the body, and finally the spirit. They also say that it cannot be found alone.
This is the story of Newton Geiszler, and the three people that help him find himself again.
- Words:
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Bookmarked by Macremae
30 Jan 2024
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And if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death. by Yamatta
Fandoms: The Play That Goes Wrong Series - Lewis & Sayer & Shields, The Goes Wrong Show (TV 2019)
13 Aug 2023
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"I made it link by link, and yard by yard"
-Marley's Ghost, A Christmas CarolIn May Chris Bean knows that the role of Scrooge will be his big break, the chance to make something for himself and to leave the failures of the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society behind him.
Come December he is weighed down by the chain forged of his own silence, of doubts and self-serving deceit.Series
- Part 2 of This set's a bloody death trap!
Bookmarked by Macremae
16 Aug 2023
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The Fixed Point Theory by thespiritscalling
Fandoms: The Goes Wrong Show (TV 2019), The Play That Goes Wrong Series - Lewis & Sayer & Shields
17 Sep 2023
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Ninety percent of the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society members are time travelers. None of them are meant to be there. Therein lies the problem.
(A story of two unstoppable forces: the flow of time, and a group of friends fighting to return to each other.)
Bookmarked by Macremae
13 Jul 2023
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“You ever think there’s something out there?” Newton says casually, his eyes tracing the shape of Canis Major.
“Newton, we work in a department called Speculative Xenomorphology and Theoretical Dimensional Travel.”
“Yeah? So?”
or, Newt and Hermann work at a government agency in 1959. expect aliens, descriptions of sand, and pining. loosely inspired by wes anderson's asteroid city.
Bookmarked by Macremae
13 Jul 2023
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Curse of the Green Hag by Moorishflower
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
27 Apr 2023
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“For the crime of attempting to parlay, the hag has cursed me to fall prey to my most bestial urges. Either to secret myself to the woods and there lose my mind, or else to succumb to overwhelming desire for the first creature to touch me. It is why…” Here, a spark of Xenk’s old self-righteousness flares in his eyes. “...I begged you not to touch me. And now here we are.”
“In my defense, you weren’t really coherent,” Ed says weakly.
Three months after the defeat of Sofina, Xenk shows up on Ed's new doorstep needing help with a very specific curse.
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Bookmarked by Macremae
05 Jun 2023