SakuraKage



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    What it says on the tin. A collection of my ficlets that explore a character's thoughts and feelings on their canon-compliant whump.

    Words:
    4,357
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
  2. Summary

    Most of these fics were posted for fandom events on my tumblr. I finally figured out how to cross-post them!

    Words:
    8,392
    Works:
    9

Recent bookmarks

  1. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Cas is back from the Empty, and Dean knows how to be grateful.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,661
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    348
    Kudos:
    2146
    Bookmarks:
    698
    Hits:
    14686

    13 Jun 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Lol I coulda sworn I had already read this one, but I hadn't, and it tore me to shreds.
    I was crying, and then I was laughing, and then I couldn’t even tell the difference.
    It’s the ‘third person viewing’ of it all, the ‘don’t leave me’ of it all, the ‘what am i but a thing to offer to others’ of it all 😭

     

    "how could he have dared to think that Cas could be in love with him? The hubris of it, the obscenity of it."
    I like how Dean keeps up a conversation with himself in his mind constantly. Not just a conversation, but like orders. He’s literally bossing himself around and castigating himself the second he allegedly fucks up.

    "what’s even the fucking difference, anyway. Not like Dean’s precious about his body. "
    "if I could make you part of me you wouldn’t go anywhere "
    It's the 'don't leave me' of it all

    "Dean can’t even imagine what the hell he looks like, head thrown back and hands clenched in the sheets like a pin-up. "
    "Dean blinks, and moves his arm out of the way, so Cas can look at him."
    It's the watcher-and-the-watched of it all.

     

    " Maybe Dean just isn’t built to feel it right, because right now, it feels like he’s faking it."
    Fuck, I always feel like I’m faking it. So many experiences are out-of-body (in a bad way) because I’m worried about how I’m being perceived. And it makes me feel like I’m faking my every reaction. Maybe this fic is as good as 4LW

    Claire: you're allowed to have what you want
    If I tell him what I want he’ll leave me. The thought comes sudden, straight into his brain like a message from God and Dean has had enough of those to last him ten lifetimes. “I know,” he says absently, mouth dry, thinking, why the hell did I think that? I don’t want anything. I’m still empty. Famine gave me his wake-up call but ten years later I’m still empty.
    Aich, 5x14 is to character analysis what 5x04 was to fanfic AUs.

     
    "What’s the sensation of a trap, paranoia, the prickling fear at the edge of his mind, in comparison to this? To Cas’s eyes lit up, his smile, his hand warm on Dean’s?"
    "Why does he wear jeans in the bunker, anyway? He’s allowed to wear sweatpants. Nobody’s looking. He could wear whatever he wanted. But still, every goddamn day, he wakes up and he … puts on jeans and a T-shirt and flannel on top of it… for what? Why the hell does he do that?"

    Sam: "Maybe you still think you gotta settle for what you can get. Like you don’t deserve any better.”
    It's the imposter syndrome, performativity of it all

     

    I also really like that Dean started to talk to Sam about Lucifer.

     

    "Imagine, Dean thinking he could keep someone around without the heavy weight of blood between them"
    INSANE! DEAN CAN ONLY DEPEND ON BLOOD RELATIVES! OBLIGATORY LOVE™! I’m so sorry Bobby 'family don't end in blood' Singer. You tried.

    "Wonders if he would’ve had more luck if he’d been twenty and kept his mouth open more and said a little less. That’s what he’s for, right, that’s what— he’s not supposed to think things— he’s just so stupid."
    holy shit

    "As if you had to actually put it into words, to explain that the whole reason Dean Moriarty and Sal Paradise end up in South America is because the US couldn’t hold them, wasn’t built for guys like that who lived strange transient frantic violent intimate lives, that if guys like that ever crossed the border back into the good ol’ US of A they’d end up dead or dying slow— but Dean digresses."
    This feels very meta, given that Destiel was made in the US but only went canon in the LatAm dub.
     

    "What do I want? I want him to stay. I want him to take me for granted, the way Sam does. I mean, I want him to think, Dean wants me around, so I’ll show up anytime, I’ll sit in his room for three days straight and make him buy me dinner at the county fair.
    I want him to quit fucking dying on me."

     

    " he closes his eyes and there’s that dungeon without Cas, that nothing, just him alone on the floor, on the fucking ground, like trash."

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    For a guy who claims to hate chick-flick moments, Dean Winchester sure knows a lot about them. So much, in fact, that he's written books with them and actually succeeded in becoming the next best-selling romcom author of the century, some even dubbing him as the 'next Nicolas Sparks' (he still hasn't figured out if this was meant to be a compliment or not). What the general population don't know is that the romantic moments between the main characters are actually based on true events from the lives of Dean and his best friend, Castiel Shurley.

    While he's even getting a movie deal out of all this fiasco, his parents and everyone else he knows still think he's leeching off of Bobby at Sioux Falls. Sam, the only one to know Dean is the mysterious Hector Afranian, keeps on encouraging him to tell Castiel about all this, and Dean's just a poor sap stuck in the middle of all these stupid conflicts that should stay in his books.

    So Dean does what he always does whenever he's troubled; he writes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,865
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    555
    Kudos:
    2838
    Bookmarks:
    753
    Hits:
    38789

    30 May 2021

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    Cried over accurate John Winchester emotional abuse. God, I'm such a dean kinnie. The trying-to-pacify and letting-his-bad-mood-blow-over and feeling not-enough.

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    The game is simple enough: two truths and a lie. What's less simple is what Chat and Ladybug learn after playing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,445
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    246
    Kudos:
    11923
    Bookmarks:
    1710
    Hits:
    124224

    23 May 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    First ML fic, whoo!

    “You like green, and probably wear it a lot, because it’s a flattering color for your complexion - skin and hair and all. But it’s not your favorite color. You only wear it all of the time because other people like it on you, and you always give in when it comes to things you think people like.”
    Oh my god 👀
    I don't even know these characters, how are you making me feel feelings about them? Stop! You're making me invested!

    " ‘I can’t believe it, you’re so over the top, you had to be fighting for attention from cousins!’. Chat keeps the cold, empty halls of his father’s mansion to himself. "
    Hm, he's over the top not to overcome interesting cousins but to overcome an uninterested father. Nicely done.

    Whoa, her mom's Chinese? I never saw that anywhere.

    Hm, this is a great fic to learn about the characters from!

    I wonder, if in the show, catboy really does leave desperate breadcrumbs? Does buggirl ever follow them? Does she purposefully choose not to? Does catboy have a mini character arc where he oversteps her boundaries while trying to figure out her identity?

    Okay how dare this 2k fic make me tear up about characters I don't even know? The love confession from catboy and the insecurity confession from buggirl were so soft.

    Also, from a story standpoint (disregarding the emotional baggage in these statements) ending the Two Truths and a Lie game with three truths to make up a love confession, then three lies to reveal her insecurities? Is like really brilliant. Very satisfying?

    And ah, I assume this is from the show, but catboy's beloved scarf, a treasured gift from his father, was in fact not from his father but the girl he likes. Wow. Ouch but aw, at the same time. How dare.

    "the hurt he knows she’d misinterpret" even now, learning simultaneously that the girl he likes, likes him back and that the artifact of affection from his father is in fact from her instead. Even now. He is still worried about how HIS REACTION is going to affect HER!

    Wait but why does he feel so bad? I mean confusion and needing space makes sense. But he's miserable? Because ... His father actually didn't send the scarf? Because he never noticed buggirl outside of her bug costume?

    HE'S JEALOUS OF HIMSELF AND HE KNOWS IT 🤦♀️

    Aw she does sewing and fashion stuff? That's like her hobby? Cute!

    So it seems I wouldn't like reading fics about the quadrants with Marinette instead of Ladybug ... Good to know.

    "It made me so happy to see him smile like that." Does that mean he doesn't smile? What, did she fall for the emo boy that sits in front of her in class? No that doesn't match the rest of the description. Had he been sad recently? Hm, maybe if it was like Christmas and his dad flaked out or something?

    Ah so it IS about his father's gift not being his father.

    I'm glad that the both of them, upon realizing each other's identities, needed a second (or a day lol) to themselves to mentally reconfigure. Instead of just jumping into each other's arms. They had to recontextualize.

    Recced by arsenicbutterfly

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Dean's life is beautiful. He wants for nothing, has the pleasure of his family and friends, and is desperately, irrevocably in love with his husband. Everything is perfect, just as it should be.

    Then he wakes up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,828
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    614
    Kudos:
    3976
    Bookmarks:
    1115
    Hits:
    55499

    10 May 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I absolutely bawled my way through the first, like, five chapters 😭
    Like full-on sobbing, tears streaming down my face, blowing snot into the tissues.

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    They hand him a phone, and he knows to press play on the video without fully knowing how he knows.

    “...a bad dude I made a deal with in order to take down an even worse guy,” the Dean on the small screen explains. “If he gets out, it’ll be bad news, but Cas can seal him, at least for a little longer than I can on my own.” The recorded Dean rolls his eyes. “And, yeah, my solution was kinda stupid, so we’re trying this first.”

    “We’re not using your idea,” a recorded Castiel says from off-screen.

    “I said we’re trying this first,” the filmed Dean insists.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,022
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    1882
    Bookmarks:
    322
    Hits:
    9901

    29 Apr 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Excellent

    I love how immediately and implicitly Dean trusts Cas.

    "[Dean] guesses at his own favorites by what he knows how to make. He discovers what foods are actually Sam’s defaults instead." That is very correct, and I wonder if Sam knew. That he was so catered to.

    I honestly would have loved to see a scene (or several) where Michael tortures Cas about this. Oh well.