birdisonmaximus



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    Steve gets out of the hospital in two days, but just barely. “I’m fine,” he tells Sam, Nurse Eunjung and the phalanx of doctors assigned to make sure Captain America didn’t bleed out and die and get bad PR all over their nice clean hospital. “I have an advanced healing factor. It’s fine. See? I’m standing.”

    “That is not standing,” Sam tells him.

    “You’re bending the IV stand,” Nurse Eunjung adds pointedly. “Let go and sit down, they don’t grow on trees.”

     
    aka Steve and Bucky's Global Honeymoon Revenge World Tour.

    Podfic of this story available by the incredible quietnight!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    237,623
    Chapters:
    18/18
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    19 Jan 2021

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    Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

    “You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

    He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

    “Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

    -

    OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,069
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1963
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    4265
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    1894
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    07 Dec 2020

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    Words:
    57,548
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    5
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    470

    16 Oct 2020

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    With his brother in seclusion, Lan Xichen finds himself in temporary custody of his nephew with little to no expertise in the child-raising department. Uncertain and alone, Zewu-Jun is willing to do everything to be the person Yuan needs—even if it means inviting Sandu Shengshou to a playdate.

    Spanish Translation by Sunfl0wer-7!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    122,789
    Chapters:
    45/45
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    655
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    22 Sep 2020

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    “That was my favourite fern,” Deaton declares and Stiles glances at Scott for clarification that such a ridiculous statement just came out of his boss’ mouth.

    “You could have just told me not to touch it,” Stiles points out sensibly, squirming inside with something he refuses to believe might be guilt.

    Not about the dumb plant, but the instant devastation he’s currently overwhelmingly and inescapably capable of. He can destroy with one touch now.

    This is going to complicate things so much.

     

    Or the one where Stiles tries to do the noble self-sacrificing thing: gains a new power, a spectral skin colour and basically ruins his own life. 0/10 would not recommend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,441
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    374
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    09 Jun 2020

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