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Naruto had never planned to buy a Pet.
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He was going to pick a wife today.
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Naruto had never mentioned Hyuuga before.
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Draco gets a tattoo.
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Written for the prompt: Harry has some kind of accident and can only speak in Parseltongue, which drives Snape mad with desire. Can be taken seriously or as crack, with Snape jumping Harry every time he says something.