consulting_smartass
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Recent works
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[Podfic] Equilibrium by consulting_smartass for patternofdefiance
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV)
12 Apr 2020
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Summary
Sherlock doesn’t just come out and say: ‘John, I think it’s time you moved into my room with me, and I’d like it very much if you did just that.’ No, that’s not his way, especially in this not-his-area.
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[Podfic] Faster than Thought by consulting_smartass for patternofdefiance
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV)
12 Apr 2020
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Summary
John finds Sherlock sitting on the driftwood fence that delineates the line between the hotel’s grounds and the beginning of the beach of round lake stones. Sherlock’s holding a smooth flat stone, so different from the rounder, bulkier ones, and paler, too.
“Going to take a shot?”
“Hm?” Sherlock turns his shoulders and head, but his eyes are transfixed on the choppy waters of the lake, excited by the wind.
“Ever skipped stones?” John clarifies.
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John wakes up with an armful of Sherlock.
This – situation – is unusual, yes, and definitely unfamiliar, but in no way does it feel wrong.
Rather, it feels the exact opposite.
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"Lamnidae do not require sleep. Did you know? Of course you didn't."
Joan looked up from her medical journal and cup of earl grey. She blinked, thought out the sentence, and then the initial word. "You mean sharks?"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 11
- Hits:
- 137
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[Podfic] With No Motive of Greed by consulting_smartass for patternofdefiance
Fandoms: Sherlock (TV)
12 Apr 2020
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Summary
The first time is simple – or as simple as giving into carnal impulse concerning your flatmate (and best friend) can be.
"There are a lot of people who are doing wonderful things, quietly, with no motive of greed, or hostility toward other people, or delusions of superiority."
--Charles Kuralt
Recent series
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- Words:
- 36
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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[Podfic] The Art of Seduction by flawedamythyst by consulting_smartass
Fandom: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
20 Oct 2019
- Words:
- 20
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 4
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[Podfic] Skeletons series - flawedamythyst by consulting_smartass
Fandom: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
09 May 2017
- Words:
- 89
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 8
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- Words:
- 432
- Works:
- 14
- Bookmarks:
- 14
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Performance In a Leading Role by aranel_parmadil, consulting_smartass
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
12 Aug 2016
- Words:
- 381
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 40
Recent bookmarks
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25¢ pocket guardian angels by hopelessheathen (ElspethMcGillicuddy)
Fandoms: Supernatural
26 Mar 2016
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Summary
Inspired by Jennilah's adorable artwork of a tiny!cas-filled gumball machine.
Dean walks into his local bank one day and notices that someone has filled the old gumball machine with these tiny, wiggling, sentient angels in individual plastic packaging. Deeply concerned about their air supply and the fact that they're trapped there in the sun, he starts pumping in quarters to rescue them. This is worse than leaving a dog in an overheating car.
Now he's got forty of the little guys running all over his house, and god knows how many others might be trapped and dying all over the city.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,325
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 915
- Kudos:
- 5572
- Bookmarks:
- 1566
- Hits:
- 44017
Bookmarked by consulting_smartass
23 May 2017
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Wherein it is always advisable to read the fine print; useful gifts are preferable; worse options were considered; technique is important (color, not so much); the favor is returned; and Sherlock Holmes plays matchmaker.
For the Seasonal Fucking Cheer Ficathon prompt: Inappropriate gifts: benefits and drawbacks.
Series
- Part 3 of Christmas Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 749
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 92
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 917
Bookmarked by consulting_smartass
13 Dec 2016
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Martin’s been with MJN Air for two months. He’s had ‘Martin’ and ‘male’ on his passport for three.
Bookmarked by consulting_smartass
25 Sep 2016
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Written for @sherlockchallenge September 2016 prompt: First Time.
Mycroft: The early years. Moving to London straight from Oxford university, Mycroft Holmes begins work in an obscure government department in Whitehall. He has been recruited to be the successor of Sir David Bonneville, the department's Director. This is one of the stories from that time
Series
- Part 3 of Challenge stories
- Part 1 of Mycroft: The Early Years
Bookmarked by consulting_smartass
14 Sep 2016
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Sherlock had been brilliant as usual - right up until the point where he wasn’t. There's always something.
Now he and John are chained to a radiator in an abandoned house and have been left to die of thirst and starvation. First they have to survive that and be saved, before sating hunger, thirst and exhaustion can lead them both to saying and doing the things they thought they never could.
Bookmarked by consulting_smartass
18 Jun 2016