It’s a bit pathetic and desperate, Jaskier can freely admit, but he has no other choice.
“I need urgent help from someone who’d be willing to act as my fiancé during a family party on February the 24th. The only thing I expect is the ability to sing praises of our love and to compliment my aunts. It’ll take around 4 hours and then we end our relationship. Age from 35 to 40. It’d be great if you knew something about the sea because I'd like to introduce you as a sailor who’s never home and afterwards, you die. Can anybody help?”
In which Jaskier looks for a fake fiancé... and finds Geralt. A man who Jaskier wants to stay.
- Part 1 of The Singer and the Sailor AU
“Jaskier!” Essi gasped out, “The White Wolf?!” She erupted into giggles, not waiting for a reply. “Oh, it’s just like you! Getting the best one for yourself!”
Jaskier blinked owlishly.“I’m sorry, what?”
“Jaskier, you just danced with Geralt of Rivia!” Priscilla exclaimed. At seeing the flabbergastered expression on her brother’s face, she pursed her lips, clearly repressing a laugh. “Do tell, why does it come as such a shock to you?” she asked, her voice tremoring with mirth.
Jaskier groaned, hiding his face in his hands. It was just like him, he mused, not to notice that he had danced with the most famous witcher in the whole country.
At the beginning, it was just a way of venting about his frustrations concerning the bard.
“Musi mieć nierówno pod sufitem.” He must be soft in the head, Geralt says to Roach quietly as he brushes her mane. He glances over his shoulder, looking at Jaskier sitting by the fire and strumming his newly-acquired elven lute. “Nikt o zdrowych zmysłach nie chciałby pisać o mnie pieśni.” Nobody in their right mind would want to write songs about me, the witcher scoffs in an old language which he’s sure the young bard won’t understand.
As years pass, it becomes a safe way to tell Jaskier how he feels. Jaskier doesn't know what he's saying anyway... until one day, he does.
Based on artistsfuneral's take on the prompt "love confessions: in a language you didn't know they understand".
04 Jan 2021
Sigrid is having a hard time rehearsing a particular dance she's a part of because her partner claims to have had better things to do. She gets an interesting surprise when the janitor offers his assistance.
Bookmarked by joanaferreira
05 Jan 2021
Bilbo Does Not Need Sex Advice (Especially Not From Officer Oblivious and Captain Clueless) by Amuly
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012)
05 Feb 2013
Fili and Kili get it into their heads that if Bilbo is to be bedding their uncle, then it is up to them to make sure Uncle Thorin is having the best sex possible. And of course, Bilbo the meek little hobbit from the Shire can't even begin to compare to the absolutely expert sexual knowledge of the much more worldly dwarf brothers. Right?
AKA: Fili and Kili give Bilbo increasingly bad sex advice that he really doesn't need. Honestly. Please stop.
Bookmarked by joanaferreira
02 Jan 2021