trashedmouthtozier



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  1. Public Bookmark 33

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    Stanley Uris @surisaccounting
    I was going through my most recent photos and came across this nice one of @richietozier and @etozier at their wedding last week. Congratulations to the happy couple. They’ve never looked better.
    [attached image is a photo of two penguins arguing]

    Richie ‘My Husband is Also A’ Tozier ✔ @richietozier
    replying to @surisaccounting
    Hey @surisaccounting take down that tweet or I’ll keep doing this
    [attached image is a photo of a Common Potoo, which has been incorrectly labelled ‘Crow’ in Comic Sans font]

    Buzzfeed makes a list of all the times Richie and Eddie Tozier, beloved husbands of the Internet, were incredibly married. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it isn't a short list.
    Series
    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
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    22 Jan 2020

  2. Public Bookmark 7

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    “Just go stir the fudge so it doesn’t stick and burn to the bottom of the pot. I’m gonna go grab some bandaids. Don’t—and I know this is gonna be hard for you—don’t hurt yourself while I’m gone or you’re losing your cooking privileges."

    “Not a punishment, Eds,” Richie called after him as Eddie scurried to the half bath down the hall. “I’d love to be your studio audience.”

    Eddie returned to the kitchen and grabbed the molten-sugar-coated spoon that Richie had been gesturing with and set it down. He kept ahold of Richie’s hand to carefully place a couple of the antibacterial bandaids that Eddie got all horned up about.

    “Be my Alton Brown,” Richie said, looking down at Eddie as he secured the bandages. “My Rachel Ray. My very own, uh, lady from Semi-Homemade.”

    Language:
    English
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    Comments:
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    61
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    7
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    25 Dec 2019

  3. Public Bookmark 50

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    Six times Eddie and Richie ended up under the mistletoe.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
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    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    248
    Bookmarks:
    50

    20 Dec 2019

  4. Public Bookmark 41

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    “I have something for you.” Richie said, helping Eddie get his shirt on with the utmost care. Eddie’s brow furrowed.

    “Should I be worried?”

    “No, I think you’ll like it, actually.”

    “It better not be anything that can fucking bite me, Rich. I know you watch those stupid David Dobrik videos, and if you even think about putting a scorpion on me I swear to god I will -”

    Richie came back with a hand-carved wooden advent calendar shaped like a house in his hands.

    “Is that - did you make that?”

    “I’m glad you think so highly of my talents, Eds. Nah, Ben made it. I just put all the fun stuff inside.” He set the advent calendar down on top of the dresser. Eddie beamed.

    “I love it.”

    “Merry Christmas, you nutcase.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
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    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    29
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    241
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    41
    Hits:
    1249

    16 Dec 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “New York?” Eddie asked, quickly, before he could stop himself.
     
    “Yeees? What about it?”

    “Do you want to come to New York. For Christmas. To spend it with me.” 

    “Yeah,” Richie said.

    “I mean, I know you’re super busy and all, so—”

    “Shut your mouth, Eds. You’re sad and alone and in desperate need of company, so obviously I’m going to clear my incredibly busy schedule—the parties and the laughs and the orgies—to come hang out with you. It’ll be like, my very good deed of the year.” 
     

    (Eddie and Richie realize neither of them needs to spend the holidays alone.)

    Language:
    English
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
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    Bookmarks:
    127
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    05 Dec 2019