whats_the_mintTea



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    (A talking-head interview. JIN ZIXUN, 36, entrepreneur.)

    JZX: Oh, yeah, he’s a fucking catch, alright. He’s rich, he’s hot, he’s a Lan. Like, he’s been ranked number two among the local bachelors for years, and now that his brother’s seeing someone, he’s number one, right? So, yeah, of course I want to win.

    Offscreen voice: Do you know anything else about him, besides that he’s rich and hot?

    JZX: (shrugging) What else is there to know?

    In which Lan Wangji agrees, reluctantly, to be The Bachelor, only to fall in love with Wei Wuxian, his cameraman/producer. Can the Bachelor find his way to a happy ending? And will The Bachelor: Lan Wangji be a ratings hit?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,400
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1446
    Kudos:
    2705
    Bookmarks:
    790
    Hits:
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    05 Jan 2021

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    Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

    “You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

    He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

    “Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

    -

    OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,069
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1969
    Kudos:
    4313
    Bookmarks:
    1914
    Hits:
    69691

    14 Nov 2020

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    And then. Something slots into place in his brain and he turns, bit by bit.

    "Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says. "It seems that you've found me."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,997
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    520
    Kudos:
    1216
    Bookmarks:
    460
    Hits:
    17727

    22 Sep 2020

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    After one final look at the profile photo, Lan Zhan closed Grindr.

    "Not even a flame?"

    Startled, Lan Zhan turned to his left.

    "I know not everyone wants to start chatting right off the bat, but you spent long enough looking at my face," said the man from the app, who was sitting at the bar.

    Or: Lan Zhan gets stranded at the airport, decides to scroll through Grindr, and meets someone new.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,446
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    535
    Kudos:
    3941
    Bookmarks:
    1034
    Hits:
    20208

    20 Sep 2020

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Wei Ying first hears about the ball over dinner.

    "They're trying to marry off Second Prince," Fourth Uncle says, through a mouthful of stew. "There is going to be a ball, for all the gentry." "Everybody who's rich and titled, who's got a son or daughter the right age, will be invited. Second Prince will pick someone out."

    "He's probably very stuffy and full of himself!" Wei Ying snorts. "I pity whoever has to marry him!"

    (In which Wei Ying, a fugitive from justice, sneaks into the palace, steals from the imperial family, and eats his words.

    AKA, yet another Cinderella AU.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,361
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1213
    Kudos:
    5368
    Bookmarks:
    1928
    Hits:
    45491

    20 Sep 2020

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