Disclaimer: I do not own the song, nor do I own the characters...
A/N: I've really been listening to too much Metallica lately. lol I'm going to add the obligatory tissue warning just in case because this particular tale deals with leaving those you love behind. Also, if you remember the video to "One" from the "...And Justice for All..." album by Metallica, you'll have a bit of a sense of deja vu with this fic. lol Anyway, review me and let me know what you think!!! Oh, and for those who don't read the warning list under the summary, THIS ENDS UP MPREG!!
I Can't Remember Anything
Can't Tell If this Is True or Dream
Deep down Inside I Feel to Scream
this Terrible Silence Stops Me
Now That the War Is Through with Me
I'm Waking up I Can Not See
That There Is Not Much Left of Me
Nothing Is Real but Pain Now
Pain, terrible and immense pain. It consumes me, eats away at my nerve endings. For what could have been seconds or possibly months, I lay in pain, unaware of my surroundings. I try to focus on anything but the pain for it threatens to drive me insane.
There is nothing to focus on. I see no light, hear no sound. I can not even feel my body. Voldemort has truly finished me and I am in hell. My mind is alert, but my body is broken beyond repair. I am in a living hell, trapped inside my mind. Please, someone, hear me and kill me now.
Hold My Breath as I Wish for Death
Oh Please God, wake Me
Everyone stands around Harry’s bed. He finally killed Voldemort, but at the cost of his body. Hermione sits at her best friend’s side and cries. She cries for his life that was never truly lived and for her own and Ron’s lives which will forever be changed without him. Tonks holds Remus as he cries for Harry, the only tie he has to his dead friends and the son he could never have. McGonagall paces to and fro at the end of his bed. She knew that it could come to this, but she was unwilling to admit it would. Her tears have long since dried up.
The only other person not crying is Snape. He stands stoically opposite Hermione running his fingers through Harry’s hair. Sadness permeated his whole being as he watched the young man he loved sacrifice everything for their freedom.
Back in the Womb its Much Too Real
in Pumps Life That I must Feel
but Can't Look Forward to Reveal
Look to the Time When I'll Live
Fed Through the Tube That Sticks in Me
Just like a Wartime Novelty
Tied to Machines That Make Me Be
Cut this Life off from Me
Though I can not feel them, I know that magical life support is all that is keeping me alive. I try not to panic, but only find thoughts chasing themselves around in my head. I force my mind to calm and think of a solution. I think of my mate and reach for him with my mind. I feel nothing. Again, I reach out and probe my surroundings. I can feel Hermione and Ron, Remus, Tonks and McGonagall.
Suddenly, it occurs to me to use the scribo mentis spell. Wondering idly if I can manage to cast it wordlessly. I put all of my power into it, trying in vain to ignore the pain coursing through my body. I have no way of knowing if it will work.
Hold My Breath as I Wish for Death
Oh Please God, wake Me
Two words appear above Harry’s head, “Kill me,” and everyone gasps. The crying in the room turns to hysterical sobbing. “He truly is trapped inside himself,” Remus says through his tears. “What should we do?”
Severus sighs and casts the Liligemency spell. He finds himself in a dark cavern with no light and every sound is muffled.
Now the World Is Gone I'm Just One
Oh God, help Me Hold My Breath as I Wish for Death
Oh Please God Help Me
Someone is approaching. I’m excited, elated, and frightened. I see it is Severus and I launch myself at him, kissing his face. He is illuminated with a light that is his alone. The internal light of his being is my one hope as I cling to his form. “What happened?” I ask.
“You killed him,” he replies. When he looks sadly into my face I know that all is not well. “You destroyed yourself, your body in the process.”
“They are keeping me alive, aren’t they?”
“Indeed they are, Harry,” he replies and kisses my forehead gently.
All That I See
I Cannot Live
I Cannot Die
Trapped in Myself
Body My Holding Cell
He holds me for some time and neither of us speak. Finally, I look up into his worried eyes. “I’ll never truly live again, will I?”
He shakes his head. “It appears not.”
“I’m only alive because of magical life support. Please, Severus, do you think you can let me go? Do you think that they can?” Tears well up in my eyes. I do not want to let go of my mate or my friends, but I can not ask them to put their lives on hold any more. The war is over and they must begin to live, all of them.
Has Taken My Sight
Taken My Speech
Taken My Hearing
Taken My Arms
Taken My Legs
Taken My Soul
Left Me with Life in Hell
As I ask him if he can let me go, the light surrounding him shines brighter. I realize that it’s his love for me that illuminates him. He kisses the tears from my face even as a tear slides down his cheek. “I am afraid that I will never be able to let you go,” he tells me.
“Promise me that you’ll go on living,” I say with a sob.
We are letting each other go for the moment; we both know this. “I have no choice,” he says as he pulls one of my hands to his flat abdomen. “Your legacy lies within me. I will live for him or her.”
My sobs of joy reverberate throughout my mind. It appears that nothing can dampen love and joy. “When?” I ask.
“I found out just this morning,” Severus tells me.
“I’m sorry I will not be there to help you raise her,” I say sadly, my green eyes shining brightly with unshed tears.
“I am too, my Harry, but you have given us both more than I can ever thank you for. I will tell the others that you are ready to go and give them time to say their goodbyes. As you cross into eternity remember us.”
I hug him fiercely. “I’ll wait for you for eternity, Severus.” I kneel and press a kiss to his stomach. “I’m so sorry that I will not be there for your life, little one. I’ll be watching over you and your father, though. I promise.”
Rising, I kiss him chastely on the lips. "I love you, Severus."