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Hindsight

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The ring was everything Kurt had hoped it would be. The proposal was nothing he'd thought it would be. It was Nathan who asked, Nathan who offered the ring and asked Kurt to be his "other daddy". So it was Nathan Kurt said yes to and kissed and swung up into a hug, the pair of them twirling around the living room until everything was lurching out of control. Then Henry's arms, strong and steadying were around them both and Kurt's world was solid once more.

Held against his fiancé's chest Kurt remembered the security of love and the promise of a future and he knew that he really could be happy again.

That night he held Henry's hand, made him swear to not only listen first but to also not tell a soul. He talked about Blaine, about seeing him and talking to him. About how it felt real and comforting and helped him through some of the darkest moments. Kurt talked about how he'd discussed them, the relationship, moving in and the impending proposal. How it helped him to know that Blaine wanted him to move on.

Kurt could tell that Henry thought it little more than a figment of Kurt's imagination. But then he also knew how Kurt had been destroyed by Blaine's death. So Henry said nothing, thanked Kurt for telling him, and said that he hoped that he could be Kurt's confidant now, his advisor and his comfort.

A role that Kurt was more than happy to give him.

 

*

 

"Were you this nervous?" Blaine asked. "Before our wedding?"

"...Different kind of nervous," Kurt said eventually. "We were kids, forever seems like a long time when you're nineteen."

The pair of them lay on Rachel and Finn's spare bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"How does it seem now?" Blaine asked.

"Still a long time."

"You are only twenty six years old. You know this is the age most people get married."

"Henry is thirty two."

"Positively ancient."

"You're still twenty three."

"Am I?" Blaine asked.

"I am not having a philosophical debate the night before my wedding."

"So what do you want to talk about?"

"Were you nervous? About us getting married?"

"No," Blaine said firmly. "I knew. I always knew about you."

"Which is why you kissed Rachel," Kurt said. "And serenaded another guy at the Gap."

"But I only ever loved you."

"And I only ever loved you."

"Until now."

"Until now," Kurt said quietly. "What do you think of Henry?"

"What?"

"Your opinion matters to me. It's always mattered."

"Kurt..."

"Do you like him? Henry? Am I making a mistake?"

"Do you think you're making a mistake? Some people would think marrying your High School sweetheart before you've both turned twenty is a mistake."

"It was the best thing I did. Second to stopping this really adorable boy on the Dalton stairs..."

Blaine laughed softly and reached over, grabbing Kurt's hand.

"He's good for me. I'm good for him. And Nathan."

"I like him, Kurt. I do. He's so right for you."

"He's nothing like you though. You were perfect for me."

"You're different now, Kurt. You've grown, changed, things have happened... Henry is who you need right now. And if things had been different you and I would have grown together, been what the other needed. But that's gone. I'm gone and he's here. And you need to... Let go."

"What?" Kurt asked, turning his head to look at him.

"You need to let me go. You're getting married tomorrow."

"What if I don't want to? What if I can't?"

"You can do anything you want to do. You taught me that. And you showed that it's possible to do what everyone else thinks is impossible, even you."

"What?"

"You never thought you'd find acceptance in Ohio but you did. You never thought that you'd find love but you did. You thought you'd never get to New York, get into NYADA, but you did. Once you thought you'd never be able to get married and now you're about to do it again."

"I know I can let you go. I don't want to."

"Kurt..."

"Please..."

"I never wanted you to leave Dalton," Blaine said. " I knew going back was what you wanted and I always supported that. But I didn't want it. I knew if I asked you that you'd stay though. I knew a part of you wanted to stay, wanted to be a Warbler and stay safe at Dalton. But a bigger part of you wanted, needed to go back.

"I know you, Kurt. I know that you want me to stay, that a part of you still loves me. But a bigger part of you loves Henry, wants to be with Henry. A bigger part of you needs this, needs them, more than you need me. And that's OK. It's been years, love."

"Blaine..."

"You don't need me to be around as much. And I won't be."

"Please don't..."

"I'm doing this for you, love. And I'm always with you. I'm always going to be a part of you."

"I wish we'd made more of our time together," Kurt said, turning over to curl up against Blaine. "If I'd known it was all we were going to have then..."

"I don't regret a single moment."

"Me either. Hindsight is a painful thing sometimes."

He felt Blaine kiss the top of his head, just once, and then he fell asleep. When he woke on his wedding morning he was alone.

 

*

 

It was almost three years before Kurt saw Blaine again. There were times when he caught a glimpse from the corner of his eye of someone who maybe looked a little bit like Blaine, someone who wasn't there when he looked properly.

Before long the idea of expanding their family came up and they applied for adoption. Henry guided Kurt through the process, having been there with his ex. It was a long year but soon Kurt was holding a seven month old girl in his arms and was trying not to shake too much with nerves.

"Remember to breathe," came a voice he'd never forget. "You won't drop her."

"I'm scared."

"Don't be. You're an amazing dad already."

"What if I screw this up?"

"You won't."

Kurt looked up, catching Blaine's gaze. "You know, don't you?"

"What?"

"You know. You knew about Henry, you know when I need you... You know."

Blaine nodded.

"So she's going to be OK?"

"She's going to be great," Blaine smiled.

"Blaine... Do you... do you know when...? When I'm going to…?"

"Yes," he said.

"Right."

"I can't tell you, Kurt. You know that."

"Will you be there?"

"Where else would I be?" Blaine said, moving in closer. "But I don't want you thinking about that, OK? You have this little one to worry about."

"Worry?"

"Bad choice of words," Blaine soothed. "Trust me. She's going to be fine. More than fine."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he said.

 

*

 

There were moments, fleeting ones, where Blaine would stand on the edge of the room while Kurt's emotions flew and fell. He only ever stayed long enough for Kurt to notice him, for him to register that I am still here, love. I am still here for you.

The day they buried Burt was the day he stayed longer, watched as Henry held his husband close, as Nathan and Ella held their father's hands and cried for their grandfather.

The "surprise" party for Kurt's 40th was the last time they talked properly. Kurt stepped out into the cool New York night to stare at the stars when he felt the air move beside him.

"Happy birthday, love."

"I'm old."

"You're only as old as you feel."

"Then I'm old," Kurt laughed. "Ella wears me out."

"She's worth it though."

"Oh of course," Kurt smiled.

"She's her father's daughter," Blaine said. "Got all the boys wrapped around her little finger."

"Are you suggesting that I was able to bend the will of all the boys?" Kurt mocked.

"You certainly did on me," came a soft laugh. "There I was, going about my business, headed for a Warblers performance and then there's this voice and the rest of my life changed."

"Mine too."

"Now look at you. Fashion designer in demand, your lines in all the right shops around the world. A husband who adores you, two children…"

"Seems like I have it all," Kurt said quietly.

"Don't…"

"What would this have been like? For us I mean?"

"You don't want to know, not really."

"Do you know?"

Blaine didn't answer.

"I don't think I'd be as big, that came from Henry's push. But we'd have the two kids. I always pictured you with a girl for some reason."

"I'll try not to take offence," Blaine teased.

"Big eyes, the kind I could never refuse. A smile that was contagious, a laugh of music."

"She's not here, Kurt. I'm not here."

"Evidence to the contrary."

"You've lived more years without me than I had in the first place. You've spent twice as long with Ella than you did with me. I'm not here, Kurt. I'm a footnote in your life, in your history, I'm not…"

"You are more than that!" Kurt yelled, not caring that he could be heard, that they would see him screaming at the night. He calmed and took a deep breath. "You were always more than that and you will always be more than that. You were my first love, my husband. You defined my whole life, Blaine. From those stairs to our bedroom that night… I love Henry, I do. I love him so much but… but it's different."

"Different?"

"I can't explain it," Kurt sighed. "I look back at us and I… I feel it. In every part of me. You surround the me from then. There isn't a moment I remember that isn't defined by you.

"But with Henry…"

"Don't compare us," Blaine said, his tone heavy. "You can't."

"I'm not, I don't want to. It's not fair to either of you. But we were so young and I felt so much and I don't think I fully took advantage of that. There were times when I was scared of you."

"Scared of me?" Blaine asked, his voice rising in panic.

"Of how much I loved you. I was eighteen years old and there was nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"I was the same, you know I was."

"Nearly blinded for love."

"And so much more."

"And everything more," Kurt said. "I wanted forever and I wanted it immediately and I remember leaving you at the airport telling myself that to run back, to kiss you and propose was too much, too soon."

"But Christmas wasn't?"

"By then I'd missed you too much. By then the days apart were killing me and I knew that if I didn't do something that I'd have quit NYADA and come back."

"You never told me that."

"I'm telling you now. I was so in love with you that I'd have given up everything to make sure you were in my life. And it wasn't about being needy or giving up. It was about priorities. You first, world second."

"I was always yours. Even then, I was yours."

"I was scared that the distance would break us, that we wouldn't be able to survive not seeing each other every day, that when I was busy and we went days without talking that it would chip away at us."

"Did you really think we wouldn't survive a year?"

"No. But those nights when it was all too much…"

Blaine nodded in understanding. "Those nights I imagined you out at some club or bar or café and this man would sit next to you. And he was taller and better dressed and he was charming and you'd do the right thing by me first but there would eventually be a call where you'd tactfully suggest that maybe New York wasn't for me after all."

"Blaine…"

"But we survived. We made it. We'd have made it forever, Kurt. You and me until we were old."

Kurt shot a look at Blaine. The boy next to him, still and always twenty three, who would never be old.

"Three kids, not two. A girl first then siblings, brothers. We'd not planned on it but as soon as we met them we were in love. We grew old, we gave away our daughter at her wedding. We became grandparents four times over before…"

"Who first?"

"You really are the one who can move on better," Blaine said quietly.

"Blaine…" Kurt breathed. "A lifetime together… I'd never survive that either. I still don't know how I did survive you."

"You were my life."

"And you were my heart," Kurt replied. "You were everything and coming back from you was the hardest thing I have ever done, the worst thing in my life to this day. I have buried my parents, Blaine, but burying you… Standing by your grave? That was the worst. Because I didn't feel. I shut down. I cried when Mom died, I was devastated when Dad died. But you…

"You took my heart, Blaine. You took it with you and Henry and Nathan had to give me a new one. The boy I was, the man you made me, he's gone. He died that day too. I know that now, I can see it."

"Kurt…"

"No, you don't get to turn up here and tell me about a life we could have had and then make out like you losing me in that life is worse than me losing you in this one. You don't get that, Blaine. I held you when you died. I was with you… I kept you here. You don't get to tell me that means nothing."

Blaine moved quicker than normal. Either that or Kurt didn't register it until Blaine's mouth was on his. The kiss was a strange familiar and he soon fell into it, tasting the long-buried memory of Blaine's mouth.

Their first kiss. Their many other kisses. The first time it had been more than the press of lips, hungry and dirty. Kisses in other places, mouths in other places.

This was the boy he'd wanted to kiss every day of his life, not every day of Blaine's.

"Henry's looking for you," Blaine said as they parted.

"I do still love you."

"I know."

There was a few seconds of silence before Henry's voice called out from the doorway and Kurt turned away from empty space, walking into the warm embrace of a man he loved just as deeply but very differently.

 

*

 

For years this had been a ritual. Coffee and the paper, sat at an outside table if the weather allowed it.

Semi-retirement suited Kurt. He did bespoke pieces now, clients came to him. Nathan was about to complete his doctorate in some science that Kurt tried to understand and was excitedly preparing for the birth of his first child. He'd married a wonderful woman right out of college and they were making those first steps towards creating their own lives. Ella had left for college the previous Fall, following in family footsteps destined for the boards of Broadway. Henry monitored his business but was more of a silent partner. The two of them took long holidays, spent precious time with friends and family, and lived life.

So when Blaine slid into the seat across from Kurt he knew.

"Right," Kurt said. "Any clues? Hints?"

Blaine just shook his head.

Kurt knew that he would die. Everyone knows that it will happen to them someday. But Kurt knew that Blaine would be there for him on that day. As time had stretched on from his birthday he began to realise that the next time he saw Blaine would be the last time. So there was only one logical explanation for his appearance today.

"Have I got time?" Kurt asked, picking up his cell.

"You have all the time you have always had," Blaine replied.

Kurt called Nathan first, talked at length about how Natalie was doing, if they'd caved and found out the baby's sex yet. Before he ended the call Kurt told Nathan that he loved him, a sentiment repeated wholeheartedly.

"It's a boy," Blaine said. "Harrison."

"Harrison. Harry," Kurt smiled. "My first grandchild."

Ella was in rehearsal so he left a message, telling her how proud he was of her, how he knew she had what it took to make it big.

"I don't know what to say to Henry," Kurt sighed. "I… I need to go for a walk."

The two of them walked aimlessly through the streets of New York, taking turns down blocks as the fancy took them.

"Will it be quick?" Kurt asked quietly. "With you it was… it seemed quick."

"It was," Blaine said. "And yes, it will be. Quick enough at any rate."

"And you'll stay?"

"Always," Blaine smiled.

Kurt took out his phone, thumbing through his contacts to Henry's number. He was about to dial when a girl's scream cut through his thoughts. He looked up and saw a girl, no older than three or four, screaming at (presumably) her mother in a fit of tantrum.

"I hate you!" she declared.

Mom sighed and reached out her hand, trying to get her daughter to come home with her. In a final act of defiance the girl stepped back, turning on her heels and running away.

Straight into the road.

Kurt didn't think, didn't hesitate, didn't stop until he was out there with her, shoving her roughly out of the way of the cab. He felt the searing pain throughout his body, soothed by the warmth of Blaine's touch. The only noise was Blaine's voice.

"I'm here, love. I've got you. Hold on, OK? Stay with me... It's going to be fine. I promise you it's going to be OK. I'm right here. I've got you."

The memory suddenly crystal clear; the words the exact same ones he'd said to Blaine all those years ago.

Kurt closed his eyes and let his body relax in Blaine's embrace.

 

*

 

Noise. Loud voices. Sounds. Heels on a floor. People talking. Beep. Beep. A door opening and closing. A curtain rustling. Crying. Laughter.

Life.

 

*

 

Kurt slowly opened his eyes, taking stock of his body. He ached a little but nothing hurt. He took a deep breath, testing his ribs, his upper body. No protests, no twinges.

"Kurt?"

Finn's voice was by his bed.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah," Kurt said quietly. "I'm OK."

"Docs say you'll be fine."

"Thought I was dead."

"Think we all thought that. Although the way that Rachel is going on you'd think she was about to drop dead at any moment."

Rachel? "What?"

"She reckons the driver could have killed her. Like there weren't three others of us in the car."

Kurt pushed himself up on the bed, taking it in. This couldn't be real. It was impossible. You did not get hit by a cab and then wake up eighteen years old in the hospital after your Senior prom car crash.

But then Kurt's life hadn't exactly been the definition of normal so far.

"I want to see Blaine," Kurt demanded.

"Kurt…"

"Where is he? Finn… where is he? He is OK, isn't he?" He could feel the panic rising as he looked around for any sign of him. "Finn…"

"OK, but you gotta promise not to freak out or anything."

Which pretty much guaranteed that it was exactly what Kurt did.

 

*

 

Ignoring Finn's calls Kurt all but ran down the corridor to where Finn had said they'd taken Blaine. He'd been hysterical. He'd been crying. He'd been shouting. He'd been holding on to Kurt so tightly that it had taken two nurses to pry him off. He'd been sedated.

His heart, Kurt thought. His heart is damaged. His heart was damaged in the crash and they fucking sedated him.

His limited medical knowledge told him that this was anything but OK and he needed to find Blaine, to make them aware. He didn't care if it wasn't covered by insurance, he didn't care if he had to work five minimum wage jobs for the rest of his life to pay the bills. They were going to run every test until they found whatever it took them too long to find last time.

When Kurt finally laid eyes on Blaine he just stopped. There wasn't a sob of relief, there wasn't the sound of running feet as he threw himself onto Blaine's bed and into his waiting arms. He just stopped and watched, the memory (was it actually a memory now?) clear in his mind.

Kurt had arrived first, flanked by his family. Nervous, excited, desperate to get started, he'd turned up at the registry office a full half hour before their slot. It would have been more had Finn not been able to convince him to take a walk around the block a few times.

Blaine hadn't been quite as early but he was and Kurt remembered seeing him as soon as he walked through the doors, his parents and brother a few steps behind him.

In that moment Kurt's whole body had stilled for the first time in their relationship. Being with Blaine made his body thrum with life and energy and if he focussed enough Kurt had always been able to place some kind of reaction, attribute it to him. A racing heart beat, a slight tingle in the skin from a touch. A smile. A deeper breath.

But then, in that time, there was nothing. Just a calm, a stillness that he'd never experienced before. And an undeniable certainty that he was going to love this man for the rest of his life. He'd met the love of his life when he was seventeen years old and he just felt lucky.

Now, here, Kurt felt it for a second first time. He stilled, watching Blaine. He was awake, alive, curled up on the bed. Intimate knowledge meant he knew that Blaine had been crying to the point of exhaustion, and now he was just waiting.

It was a few more steps before Blaine lifted his head and their eyes met...

...across the wide hall of the registry office and they both stopped, lips curving up into a gentle smile...

...and Kurt was moving closer, balling his hands at his sides to stop him simply reaching out to grab and hold on...

...all they could see was the other, everyone else disappeared. They knew this feeling, this rush wouldn't last. It would dim a little from their everyday life, settling into a deep and lasting love...

 

...Kurt felt like it was his heart that was going to break and give up now, this was all too much. Whatever it was that left over fifty years of memories in his mind, whatever had caused all of this...

...Blaine's arms were strong around his waist, pulling their bodies flush in practiced intimacy. They held on tight enough to feel the soft rise of the other's breathing...

...unmistakably alive, both of them, clinging together.

 

*

 

"...I have never been so scared..."

"...I thought you were dead..."

"...I thought I'd lost you..."

"...I love you so much..."

"...don't you dare scare me like that again..."

 

*

 

"Are you OK?" Kurt asked breathless between kisses. "Please don't cover it up, if there's anything you need to say something. I don't care how minor, please Blaine..."

"I'm fine," he assured Kurt, grabbing his face for another kiss. "I swear it."

"You're sure?" Kurt asked, a hand drifting to Blaine's chest, resting over his heart. He wasn't sure if he was just imagining the feel of it under the skin and bone, beating fast and hard and alive. "Anything, Blaine. Any pain or discomfort..."

"I promise," Blaine said forcefully. "I'm sure, Kurt. I'm not... I'm fine, really."

"I'm not going to lose you," Kurt whispered, kissing along Blaine's jaw until he could easily slip into the hug. "I can't."

"Like I'd leave you," Blaine laughed softly.

"You sure you're OK?" Kurt whispered. "I'm not going to think you're overreacting or anything."

"I know," Blaine replied. "I'm still OK. I wasn't driving this—" He stopped but not before Kurt had frozen in his arms. "What?"

"What were you going to say?" Kurt asked, pulling back but staying in Blaine's arms.

"It's nothing. It's silly."

"Don't. Don't do that. Don't think it's silly or stupid or... Tell me. Please."

"You'll laugh."

"You know me better than that."

"Fine. But you laugh and you're dumped," Blaine smiled. "I was going to say... this time. I wasn't driving this time."

"Why?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Kurt..."

"Please," Kurt asked again, his voice stressing how important this was to him.

"I don't know. It's just... It's like I knew that if I'd been driving then I'd... have been hurt... That I would have..."

"I held you," Kurt whispered. "That night. I never let you go."

Blaine's eyes fixed on Kurt's and they held each other's gaze for a long time, not saying anything.

"And I was there for you," Blaine said eventually. "At the end."

Before they could talk any more about it their names were called out; Burt and Carole moving around the bed, pulling their boys into tight hugs.

 

*

 

The next few hours were a blur and it wasn't until much later that night that they were able to take time to process it all.

Rachel had been driving and what had initially been put down to a drama queen fit had paid off when a scan revealed damage to her heart, damage that could have potentially been fatal if left untreated. She was due in for surgery in the morning, Finn and her dads attached to her bedside until she was given the all clear.

Blaine's parents, still out of state, weren't able to get a return flight until the following lunchtime and so he was in residence at the Hummel house until he was collected. Not that Kurt or Blaine would have allowed the other to be out of their sight for even a moment at the moment. Not that Burt and Carole didn't understand, weren't grateful that they were all OK (or were going to be) and therefore there was no comment about Blaine sleeping on the couch, the spare bedding was ‘forgotten' and as they went off to bed, as they passed Kurt's open bedroom door, they said goodnight to the two boys curled up together on top of the covers.

Of course you can share a bed tonight. Of course you can be together. You have our permission and our blessing. Life and love is precious; celebrate it.

 

*

 

"I keep thinking it was a dream," Kurt said, running a finger down Blaine's cheek. "Or that this is the dream and I'm going to wake up there. Then. Or that I'm still dying and this is some flashback. A lifetime happening in seconds."

Blaine's hands shot out at the mention of Kurt's death, finding his warm body under the covers. His fingers danced under the hem of the shirt, finding the soft skin.

"But if that was the dream," Kurt continued, "why do you know it too?"

"I don't know," Blaine said, his nose brushing against the tip of Kurt's. "I don't think I care."

"How can you not care?" Kurt asked.

"I'm here. You're here. We're OK and I've not got some ticking time bomb in my chest any more. You're going to New York and I'm going to follow and we're going to get married. Because we can have that life, because we can have those three kids – the girl and the boys – and we can grow old together.

"Because that life isn't going to happen anymore. Things are different now."

"You know it's not a guarantee right?" Kurt laughed softly, kissing the tip of Blaine's nose as it continued to nuzzle its way across his face. "Nothing in life is."

"So we make the most of what we do have," Blaine said. "And we do our best to make sure that we have a tomorrow for as long as we can."

"I'm OK with that," Kurt sighed as his arms wrapped around Blaine's body, pulling him close. "I love you. I have always loved you."

Blaine didn't correct him, didn't point out that they had only known each other a couple of years. He knew, he understood. He felt it too. A lifetime at Kurt's side; watching, feeling, wanting everything for him.

 

*

 

Blaine woke in the middle of the night, afraid that he wasn't real, that he wasn't actually here with the solid and warm body of his husband – boyfriend – soul mate beside him. He remembered watching, being a part of Kurt's life but not in it. He had watched every moment (well, most of them. He did afford Kurt some privacy in certain respects) and while he had taken comfort in being close to him he wanted nothing more than to be a part of that life.

Twenty three years old for over forty years.

Unlike Kurt Blaine didn't have set views on religion, on God and heaven and all of that. He wasn't sure what to believe so just set out to live the best life that he could and let things bigger than himself (if there was something out there) sort it all out. He worked hard at school, developed his talents, and pledged to live his life by the ideals of the best man he'd ever known; his grandfather. A gentleman they'd called him. Polite to everyone, regardless of how they treated him. Respectful of everyone, including himself. Loved with his whole or not at all.

Blaine had not sought significant retribution against all those who had hurt him beyond what was fair and just. He looked his attackers in the eye when he next met them and made no comment, much to the confusion and annoyance of his friends. When he realised that love was Kurt and not Jeremiah then he gave it his all, willingly and without hesitation. His respect for himself meant that he was able to give Kurt everything. The first kiss that meant something. Secrets he'd kept to himself. Moments that were precious and treasured. Events that would never come again; the first ‘I love you', first sexual explorations until that moment, that night, his virginity.

Tonight, this night, with memories of loss that weren't his own, Blaine realised that he had never been giving up anything. He didn't give up his heart and soul, he didn't give up his virginity, his life, his happiness to see Kurt with Henry. He'd been gaining this whole time. He'd gained a friend, a lover, a husband. He'd gained someone he could just be with. Someone he trusted implicitly and once he stopped fighting the instinct to protect conceal hide run in a vain attempt to make himself stronger he found that having someone to share that with made him feel exactly what he'd been craving. He'd gained strength and love and life.

Blaine had been alone, surrounded by people who did care and who did love him, but never fully got him. He'd never let them in and so remained one step away. Kurt changed that, changed him, and Blaine had let him in.

He didn't know how long he lay there, Kurt curled up in the crook of his arm, just watching the ceiling. If it had been real, if in some other life he'd been here but gone, then it was because he'd let Kurt in so deeply. He knew that Kurt had done the same, felt the same for him, and so where could he go without Kurt? Where could Kurt go without him? Kurt had held him that night that never would be, whispered to him, asked him to hold on and Blaine's instinct was to do just that.

His arm shifted a little around Kurt's body, drawing him a little bit closer. Still asleep Kurt complied, his leg hooking a little more over Blaine's, the hand across his midsection tightened. Blaine took a deep breath, feeling for any pain in his chest, pain he remembered feeling, pain he remembered dismissing. When there was none he told himself (again) that he was OK, that he would be fine. That they would be fine.

Letting his eyes drift shut he drowned his senses in Kurt Kurt Kurt and remembered the one memory of that night that he was able to take some comfort from. He'd known that he was dying, he knew somehow that this was the end. But Kurt's body was warm and solid and comforting and familiar around him and as his eyes drifted shut for the final time his last sight was Kurt, the last voice was Kurt, the last smell was Kurt, the last touch was Kurt's lips pressed to his and the last thing Blaine felt in that life was the tight grip of a hand over his.

Kurt Kurt Kurt.

Life.

 

*

 

They never told another living soul about their experience.

They never wasted another moment either.

 

*

 

Kurt proposed to Blaine before he left for New York. The only surprise was that he waited that long to do it. After the crash the two of them had become inseparable; they stood up to their respective parents and asked to be treated like the adults that they were, asked for privacy and respect in their own homes and the freedom and security to responsibly be with their boyfriend, the person they loved above all else.

Kurt came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, Blaine went to New York no fewer than eight times for the rest of the year. They poured every moment, every spare cent into the wedding which was held on a beautiful summer morning at the end of Kurt's freshman year. When Blaine graduated four years later they mailed off the adoption application that same morning.

Felicity was eight years old when her fathers brought home her younger brothers. Twins, born to a teenage mom. One afternoon when they were picking the twins up from day-care they met a charming businessman called Henry who had his older son Nathan in tow. They were there for Emma, the youngest and newest addition to their family, adopted six months beforehand, six months after Henry had married Jack.

They took up running as a way of keeping fit and healthy, had annual check ups and never took anything for granted. Sunday mornings were not for lazing in bed but for getting out into the city together. When the kids came along they took them too when they were young enough to be pushed along in buggies. Once they were old enough to complain Aunt Rachel and Uncle Finn brought over Christopher John and Barbara Marie for a playdate to allow Blaine and Kurt their own play date out in the wide city.

Felicity married in the Spring, one of her brothers the following summer. Between the three of them they gave their fathers five grandchildren. And all the while there was life and love.