Title: We'll be just fine
Words : 1890
Summary: "The job, me … it's changed. It's not worth dying for."
Authors Notes: Another mini_nanowrimo project. A sequel of sorts to Guide you home. After I wrote that a lot of people were asking for a sequel, but I thought the story was finished, done. Then I heard this interview with a cop on the radio which broke my heart a little and vinylroad got me hooked on Sia and there you have it. Title and cut from Soon we'll be found, an absolutely gorgeous song.
Jensen looks up from where he was staring at the bandage crisscrossing over his arm to the man laying on the hospital bed.
"Come on, man, you're fine now. You don't mean it."
"No, Jensen, I mean it. I'm done."
Though his voice is steady, strong, Jensen can hear the fear laced through the words.
"Chris, it was a close call, but …"
"But I almost got killed trying to catch a guy who grabbed an old lady's handbag. For four dollars in small change my wife could have been a widow, my kids …"
Chris swallows, his throat working as he looks towards the window.
"The job, me … it's changed. It's not worth dying for."
Jensen couldn't disagree. He knew he was taking the chance, knew it from the very beginning. Every day that he put on that uniform might be his last. Of course it scared him; if he let it, it would take him over, destroy him. But he takes it anyway, every day."
He taps Chris' hand and stands up heavily, his back and legs stiff and sore.
"Take it easy, partner. I'll check in on you again tomorrow."
He doesn't say anything more about what Chris had said and though Chris had swung his head back to look at him resignedly, he doesn't push it either.
"Yeah, okay. See ya later."
Jensen passes Chris' wife on the way out, but she won't meet his eyes.
Jensen unlocks his apartment's door, but stands with his uninjured hand on the handle for a minute before turning the knob and going inside. Everything is dark, except for a faint light spilling from the kitchen and down at the end of the passage.
There's a cold soda in the fridge and a warm plate of food in the bottom of the oven. Jensen stands at the counter, taking a few bites though he's not really hungry. Dropping his fork, he drains the can, letting the cool liquid sooth his raw throat. He feels guilty for leaving his dinner, obviously carefully prepared, to cool in the sink almost completely untouched.
Turning off the light in the kitchen, he leaves his shoes where he toed them off at the door and walks softly to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth first, struggling with the awkward angle as he uses the wrong hand. He strips down to his boxer shorts and drops his soiled uniform into the hamper on top of a pair of jeans and a soft blue t-shirt.
He leaves the bathroom light on and only pulls the door halfway closed to lessen the amount of light spilling into the bedroom.
Jared shifts a little when Jensen lifts the covers to slide in next to him, settling when Jensen presses himself tightly against his back and throws an arm around his waist. Jensen presses a soft kiss against the back of Jared's neck, his lips resting against the warm skin as he inhales the fresh scent of his still slightly damp hair. He tries not think about everything that happened that day and lets Jared's deep and even breathing lull him to sleep.
Jensen wakes up to the shrill call of his alarm clock and Jared staring down at him. Jared has his big safe hands wrapped around his injured one, rubbing a thumb back and forth over the edge of the bandage.
Jensen sits up and presses a soft kiss against Jared's lips, letting them linger against each other for a moment.
Jensen reaches back, turns off the alarm and gently extracts his hand from Jared's grip.
"I'm going to shower."
Jared doesn't say anything, just watches solemnly as he grabs some clean underwear and disappears into the bathroom.
He rests his back against the closed door, his head hanging low as he waits for the water to heat up, stubbornly refusing to look at his reflection in the mirror mounted above the basin until it's fogged over with steam.
Just as he's about to step forward and test the water's heat, he is bumped from behind as the bathroom door is opened. Jared doesn't say anything about the temporarily blocked door, just steps inside. He's naked and carrying an empty clear plastic bag.
"You can't let that get wet."
Jensen looks down at his hand, he hadn't even thought about it. He holds it out to Jared, who wraps it up with the plastic, his large fingers tying it off tightly with a small, neat knot. He waits for Jensen to step into the shower first before following in after.
Jensen picks up the soap, but Jared takes it out of his hand and puts it back down. He reaches around Jensen for the shampoo and gently pushes Jensen back to wet his head under the spray. Jensen doesn't have to bend down much for Jared to be able to work his fingers into his hair, just bends his knees slightly.
After Jared rinses the shampoo off and puts on some conditioner, he nudges Jensen back a little more, until his back is almost touching the cold tiles. He picks the soap back up and washes himself quickly before tugging Jensen forward again. He lathers up his hands, runs them all over Jensen's skin. He tries to hide his grin when Jensen's dick starts to fill and harden, rising halfway up against his thigh.
He starts to manoeuvre Jensen back under the water, but Jensen wraps his arms around Jared's waist instead and pulls him closer.
"Jared, Jesus, your hands."
This time Jared lets Jensen see his mouth quirk up into a shy grin. He frames Jensen's face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over his cheeks and kisses him. It's wet and sloppy, mouths open, teeth clashing and tongues probing. Slowly Jared lets his hands slide down Jensen's throat, over his chest, stomach and hips. Jensen gasps, inhales sharply when Jared grips his ass roughly and pulls them closer together, letting their cocks, both fully hard now, rub against each other.
"You like that?"
"Yes, oh God, yes, just touch me."
Jared lets go for a moment to pick the bar of soap up again and run it around in his hands a few times before just letting it drop to the floor. As it lands on the tiles with a dull thud, Jensen presses up tight against him and he reaches down and wraps a hand around both their hard lengths, letting it slip and slide over the heated skin in some ragged semblance of a rhythm.
Jensen presses his face into the crook of Jared's neck, tightening his grip around the younger man as he feels his orgasm building hot and fast in the pit of his stomach with each stroke of Jared's fingers. Jared's breath is harsh little gasps in his ear and as he feels Jared's cock start to pulse against his, he lets go, thick white splashes of come spilling over Jared's fist and against their bellies.
He smiles against Jared's skin, gently nipping against it when Jared tries to push him away.
"I think we need another shower."
Jensen's smile turns into a full throated laugh and finally he lets Jared move away to rinse them off one last time before shutting off the water.
Jensen steps out first, grabbing a towel and holding one out for Jared.
"I'm the one that has to say thank you."
"You don't have to. I…"
"You took care of me."
Jared hangs his wet towel over the railing and waits for Jensen to finish drying before he helps him tear the plastic from his arm.
"You not going to ask me what happened?"
"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."
Jensen looks up at Jared sharply and sees that the irony of the reversal of their exchange is not lost on the other man. It used to be Jensen waiting for Jared to talk, Jared the uneasy one because Jensen didn't push and pry any harder.
They dress quickly and in silence. Jensen's uniform is perfectly pressed and smells faintly of lemons. Jared always finds it funny that he's not envious at all that Jared's work clothes consist of jeans and a button down shirt.
Jensen makes the bed while Jared finishes tying his sneakers. He's still busy when Jared finishes, so Jared goes to the kitchen to start breakfast.
When they're sitting at the table, the smell of bacon, eggs and coffee filling the apartment, Jensen takes a deep breath and looks across at Jared. He's buttering his toast, his long fingers curled loosely around the knife.
"Chris is in the hospital."
Jared drops the knife against the plate and he looks startled at the loud noise it makes.
"We were going after this punk kid that grabbed an old ladies' handbag. He rounded a corner and we ran straight into four of his buddies laying in wait for us. Chris got the worst of it, one bastard got in a lucky stab that nicked a lung."
Jensen stops to take a long sip of his coffee. Jared doesn't say anything; he knows Jensen is stalling, gathering his courage.
"I … shot two of them. The others ran off as soon as the shots were fired. I caught the one in the arm, just a flesh wound, but the other one … he didn't make it."
Jared reaches out and places a hand over Jensen's. Jensen turns his hand and laces their fingers together.
"Chris doesn't want to come back. Connie won't even look at me."
Jensen stops like he's waiting for Jared to say something, but he doesn't, waits for Jensen to finish.
"Do you … would you ever want me to quit the force?"
"Would I want you to?"
"Yeah. Because of … what might happen."
"Jensen, anything can happen to either of us at any time. You know this better than most. You … you're a cop. You help people. How many people are alive today because of you?"
"I'm not that special."
"You saved me."
"I love you."
Jared smiles at this, lays his other hand against Jensen's cheek and he leans into it a little.
Jensen turns his head and places a kiss in Jared's palm before he draws it away. They finish eating in silence, and if Jensen sees Jared's gaze resting on his injured hand every now and then, he doesn't let it show.
Jared packs their lunches while Jensen shines his shoes, finishes it off with a green apple for him and a red one for Jensen. Jensen picks it up, shines it with a clean dish cloth until it's gleaming sinfully and flashes a smile at Jared. Jared can't help but smile back. They stand like that for a few moments, just being happy together and then Jared steps forward and takes the apple from Jensen's hand and places it back on the counter.
Wrapping his arms around Jensen, he pulls him in for a deep, searing kiss, their lips locked tightly against each other until Jensen breaks away gasping for breath. Jared kisses the corner of his mouth, his cheek, the little dip of skin just in front of his ear and whispers to him before reluctantly letting go and stepping back.
"Please come back to me."