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Clinging to This Hating Game

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Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce and Quinn Fabray were not easy friends to have, but they were loyal. Quinn had plucked him out of the sight lines of the school bullies in freshman year and found him a place on the cheerleading squad. By sophomore year, they had even joined Glee club with him. Kurt had been sure at the time it was so Quinn could keep an eye on her (now ex-) boyfriend - who happened to be Kurt’s step-brother Finn, and Rachel Berry, but Kurt appreciated having them around. And on top of that Quinn and Santana could really sing, which was great for the glee club. And what was good for the glee club was good for Kurt’s college applications.

Of course the bullying didn't stop completely - it was still the middle-of-nowhere Ohio - but a few football players even joined glee club, and for Kurt it made things a little better. Now that he was heading into his senior year of high school, and he still hadn’t so much as kissed another boy, he needed Quinn’s help with one last thing.


Kurt checked himself in the mirror one last time, putting finishing touches on his hair, smoothing the non-existent wrinkles on the Burberry asymmetrical checked shirt - turquoise accents, thank you very much (it was from two seasons ago, but he was pretty sure no one would notice where he was going) that he'd snagged off eBay. Quinn had scored them invites to a “kick off the year” party in Columbus, and while it was still Ohio and he hardly expected anyone with an especially evolved sense of fashion to be there, he did have his own standards to live up to.

He added a pair of snug denim shorts - distressed up the front but neatly hemmed (by his own hand) at the cuff - and decided he looked hot enough to score with a college guy.

Three years of cheerleading had turned his ass from a liability in a china shop into lean muscle, and the shorts did amazing things for his thighs. A pair of Jimmy Choo croc print espadrilles he’d scored off of ebay completed the look.

“Well, Kurt Hummel, if you can’t get a guy to want to make out with you in this getup in Ohio you’re never going to make it in New York.”

Kurt skimmed the stairs, hoping to sneak out without a judgmental eye from his dad. Burt knew he was going out with the girls tonight, and since he was only a few months shy of 18 he really didn't have a curfew.

“How late do you expect to be out, Kurt?”


“Well, Quinn has to go to church tomorrow, so I think we’ll try to leave by midnight.” Burt grunted. “We should be home by two at the latest.”

“Who's the designated driver?”

Kurt raised his hand to shoulder height, wiggling his fingers. “Yours truly.” Kurt knew Burt always felt better if he drove.

“Okay.” Burt sighed and rubbed the top of his head. “I'm never going to get used to you being so grown up son. I mean, a year from now you’ll be gone.”


Quinn asked The Question during the drive to Columbus.

“How serious are you about this Kurt?”

“That will depend entirely on my options. You’re sure there will be gay guys at this party?”

“It’s being co-hosted by the drama frat at OSU, and Jordan said there would absolutely be a very diverse group attending.”

Santana leaned forward from her seat in the back. “As long as there’s booze and dancing, I’ll be happy.” Quinn turned and frowned at her.

“I love it when you’re happy Santana,” Brittany chirped from the back seat.

“And I am in full support of your getting some, my pretty pony.” Santana poked Kurt on the shoulder. “Sex is awesome.”

Kurt snorted. Santana had taken some getting used to at first, but dating Brittany had eased some of her anger, and lately she’d been encouraging Kurt to go hang out at Lima’s only gay bar and just ‘get it done.’

The truth was that Kurt was more than a little nervous about what he was planning - hoping really, to do at this party.

Kurt had always hoped that at some point he'd meet a nice guy at school, one who was sweet and romantic and out and brave enough to be with him. Someone who'd want to figure out things together, share French fries and movie dates and clothing tips, and various firsts of a sexual variety. But that guy never showed up, and in a year Kurt was moving to New York having possibly never even held another boy’s hand, much less kissed one. He intended that to change tonight.


There were a lot of cars parked on the street as they got near the party, so they parked a couple of blocks away and walked over.

“I told my dad we’d be on the road by midnight, which means we can probably push it to one am if we’re having a good time.”

“By good time do you mean if some junior frat boy is on his knees with his -”

“Santana!” Quinn hissed. Santana rolled her eyes and walked ahead, her pinkie finger linked with Britt. Quinn slipped her arm through Kurt’s as they made their way toward the house. The party looked to be in full swing. “There will be a lot of people there and it can get intimidating.”

“I have been to parties, Quinn.”

“Still, you’re looking to pick someone up - or get picked up -” She looked at him and batted her eyelashes knowingly - “and this is more or less a first for you. Remember - never drink anything someone hands you unless you watched them pour or open it - or open it yourself, and you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want. Ever. With anyone.”

“I’m driving so I won’t be drinking much at all -”

“People put things in soda too Kurt.” He supposed she had a point. “Just mingle for a while, see if you’re comfortable.”

Quinn gave the guy working the door her name, which he checked off a list and gave them each three drink tickets. “Have fun!” He said brightly as they trailed in. Definitely theater department, Kurt thought.

They did a lap around the party, all of them grabbing drinks when they got to the booze room. Kurt had decided earlier that he would have one beer to loosen up and maybe settle some of his nerves, but after that it would be water or soda. After leaving Quinn with the guy who had invited them, and an agreement to text each other at midnight to see where they were all at, Kurt went with Santana and Brittany to find the dance floor.

The frat house was predictably large, but for this end of summer blast they had set up a lighted dance floor in the back yard, complete with DJ and strings of mismatched lights strung up all around the dance area. There were tables and chairs off to either side for just hanging out, and an outside bar. It was a lot more civilized than Kurt had expected from his first official (and hopefully only) frat party.

Kurt finished his beer, then danced with the girls for a few songs, keeping his eyes open for any guys who might be interested. After a few songs a tall, blond, very attractive guy cut in, pulling Kurt away from the girls. They danced a couple of songs, but he didn't get too handsy, and Kurt switched him out for another partner, then another after that.

The dancing went on for a while, and while he was having a good time, Kurt hadn't connected with anyone in a way that made him want to drag him up to an empty bedroom somewhere. He did want another beer, but he wasn’t actually drunk enough off of the one he’d had to talk himself into it - he’d had road safety drilled into his head since before he could walk - so when he was ready for a break he grabbed a water from the outside bar and wandered back into the house.

It was hot inside, and the dancing had made him sweat. He did notice that there were a few cute, older looking guys eyeing him up, but he felt a little too gross and sweaty to let some stranger get too close, although they were just going to get sweaty anyway. Kurt shivered thinking about it, but he didn’t know if was excitement or nerves. Maybe he wasn’t really ready for this at all.

Kurt drained his water, but he was still hot and thirsty so he wandered to the bar room for a can of soda.

Standing in front of the bar was a guy he hadn't noticed earlier. He was talking to a girl with long dark hair, so Kurt took his time noticing him. He wore well fitted navy shorts and a retro patterned polo that Kurt immediately recognized as Brooks Brothers - where everyone else at the party was decked out in J Crew or Abercrombie. He was wearing sandals, which Kurt was willing to forgive only because of the excessive heat, and his hair was neatly combed and gelled down.

Kurt was still staring when the guy turned and noticed Kurt looking at him. He smiled with the corner of his mouth, but Kurt looked away, embarrassed for getting caught looking. When Kurt had no choice but to turn back as his turn came at the bar, both the guy and the girl he had been talking to were gone. Kurt sighed and took his mercifully freezing cold diet soda from the guy minding the bar and walked out to drink it on the front porch, hoping it would be a little quieter than inside the house.

When he finally made it outside, Kurt was surprised to find that the only person actually on the front porch was Mr. Brooks Brothers, from the bar. He had turned when Kurt opened the door, and was looking right at Kurt when he stepped out.

“Hi,” Mr. Brooks Brothers said.

Kurt blinked about a hundred times. “Uh, hi.” He looked down at his soda can and popped the top. He could already feel his mouth drying up. “Cool party.” The guy didn’t say anything, so Kurt kept talking. “Do you go to school here?”

Brooks Brothers stared for a moment, then seemed to realize it was his turn to say something, and nodded sharply. “Yeah, um, sophomore.”

God this guy was cute. Kurt kept staring. “Oh, cool.”

“What about you? Do you go here?”

Kurt had decided his cover story would be that he went to school at NYU - there would be less likelihood of ever running into someone in NY. And he was absolutely going to get in there anyway.

“No, I go to NYU. I'm here with some friends.”

Brooks Brothers nodded. “Ah.” They both stood silent for a moment, and Kurt had to wonder if he would ever have a not-awkward moment with a guy, when the guy spoke again. “I saw you dancing earlier - was going to cut in, but then you disappeared.”

Brooks Brothers took a couple of steps closer while he talked. He wasn't close enough to touch him or anything, but Kurt could see that they guy had quite pretty eyes, and biceps that threatened the integrity of the sleeves on the shirt he was wearing and oh wow pretty lips…that were still talking.

“I don't know if - you can say no if you don't, um, my car is parked just about a block away -” he shrugged, “if you maybe want to get away for a bit.” His confidence in what he was proposing was undermined somewhat by how nervously he was proposing it, but Kurt was sure when he asked that all of the hesitation about hooking up at this party that he’d had inside the house had disappeared.

“Okay,” he heard himself say, and he was rewarded with a smile that lit Brooks Brothers’ face all the way from his mouth to the tips of his sweetly triangular eyebrows. “Lead the way.”

Silently, Kurt followed Brooks Brothers to his car, which was parked around the corner from the frat house but in the opposite direction from where Kurt had parked his car earlier. There were other cars parked along the street on both sides, but it was secluded from view of the frat house by a large row of shrubs, and the street was darkened further due to a broken overhead street lamp. It seemed remarkably well concealed from prying eyes and Kurt wondered if the guy had parked here for exactly that reason. Kurt filed that idea away in case he ever found himself at a party looking to pick up virginal young high school students trying to pass themselves off as college. Brooks Brothers unlocked the car with a ‘blip blip’ and opened the back door, indicating for Kurt to get in, a small smile visible on his face.

Kurt slid into the back seat turning his body so that his left knee was folded on the seat and he could face Brooks Brothers, who slid in next to him. After auto locking the car and tossing the keys onto the center console in the front, he played with his phone and set it on the floor of the car. It was letting off a low glow that gave off some light allowing them to see each other, but not so bright that it lit up the car.

“Better,” he breathed, turning to Kurt and sliding an arm across the back of the seat. His left hand curved around Kurt’s right thigh, and without any preamble at all, he leaned in and pressed his mouth against Kurt’s.

For the first time in his life Kurt was kissing another boy, and he was so surprised by it that he let out an actual squeak. Brooks Brothers pulled back, looking at him in the near dark.

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

Kurt was mortified. It might be the first time he’d had his lips on another boy, but the last thing he wanted was for the boy know that.

“No it’s fine,” Kurt said, forcing a smile. “Caught me off guard.” He gathered all the courage he had and leaned in, grateful that Brooks Brothers didn’t seem to be annoyed with him and went right back to what he’d been doing too. Which was kissing Kurt. Kurt parted his lips, tilting his head to get a better angle, and Brooks Brothers made a pleased noise and pushed closer. The hand across the back of the seat moved to Kurt’s shoulder, then around the back of his neck, long strong fingers holding him as they kissed harder. Kurt gasped when he felt a tongue slide alongside his own and without thinking he sucked lightly on it. The hand on his thigh drifted higher, stroking along Kurt’s leg until fingers teased into the holes Kurt had made in his jeans.

Kurt had been at an initial loss for where to put his hands, and pressed them against Brooks Brother’s (very firm) chest. He moved them up, over muscled shoulders, moaning without realizing it as he did.

“Mmm, wait, wait,” Brooks Brothers stopped just as Kurt was wriggling his hips to shift closer. “What’s your name?”

“My name?” Kurt asked between kisses. “What?” Kurt kept kissing and Brooks Brothers didn’t object. But he wasn’t done asking.

“Yeah, your name.” Kurt moved one hand down across Brooks Brothers’ chest and down, getting his own grip on the guy’s thigh.

“Does it matter?” Kurt kissed along his jaw, dragging his teeth below Brooks Brothers’ ear.

“What? Yes, yeah. I’m about to put my hand in your pants - at least I hope I am” he ducked his head with a bashful smile that Kurt found both sexy and endearing. “I want to know your name. It matters.” He paused. “My name’s Blaine.”

Kurt stopped kissing Blaine, pulling back to look into this boys eyes, panting just a little from the kissing. Back in sophomore year his dad had given him the sex talk, complete with actual how-to pamphlets and instructions to ask him if he had any questions. He didn't know whether his dad was hoping that Kurt would meet a boy, or was just completely clueless about the unlikelihood of that ever happening at McKinley High School in backwardsville Lima, Ohio. Either way, Kurt had been mortified at the entire thing, hiding in his room for the next several hours (okay, reading the pamphlets, but that hadn’t made the experience less mortifying). But Burt Hummel had said one thing that had stuck with him, and was sure would lead him to be incredibly disappointed with his son if he knew what he was doing right now. “Don't throw yourself around,” he'd said. “You matter, Kurt.” Kurt blinked and looked at Blaine.

“Kurt,” he said. “My name’s Kurt.”

Blaine grinned a smile so bright Kurt thought it could have lit the car from the inside all by itself.

Kurt.” Blaine leaned in, his kiss swollen lips slotting onto Kurt's for a long brain melting moment. “I was calling you ‘hot guy’, you know, in my head,” he said, pulling away for just a moment.

“That's okay,” Kurt responded, kissing back. “I was calling you Brooks Brothers.” Blaine laughed, sharp and sweet, that same grin threatening to split his face in two.

He leaned back in, fingers now playing at the buttons on Kurt’s shirt. “May I?” He asked, kissing Kurt on the cheek.

Kurt nodded, nervous about how this was going to go, or what exactly was going to happen. He kissed Blaine as a distraction as Blaine unbuttoned his shirt, then groaned when Blaine put his hands on Kurt's bare chest. Kurt inhaled sharply, but leaned in so Blaine wouldn't pull away. He didn't know what he was doing, but he didn't want to stop. At least not yet.

They continued touching and kissing, each step closer to what, Kurt wasn't sure. The angle in the back seat made getting closer difficult, and the hard on in Kurt's shorts was getting uncomfortable.

But the making out was getting more intense. Blaine wriggled and slid under Kurt, his back on the back seat, and he tugged until Kurt was lying on top of him. They were both obviously hard. Kurt propped himself up with his elbows and looked down at Blaine who looked gorgeous and a little desperate in the odd light of the back seat. His hips churned little circles against the weight of Kurt on top of him.

“That feels good,” Kurt gasped, dropping his head to Blaine’s shoulder.

Blaine was panting against Kurt’s cheek. Kurt swore to himself that if he ever had the opportunity to make out in a car again he’d make sure he had his Navigator. “Yeah?”

“Uh huh.”

“Can I touch you?” Blaine was running a finger up and down the obvious bulge of Kurt's cock straining in his shorts. Kurt thought he might black out just at that.

“Yes, yes please.”

Blaine gripped Kurt by the hips, pushing him off just enough to get his hands between them. He rubbed firmly against Kurt’s erection, a quiet wow escaping his lips. Kurt stared at Blaine’s face as he slid each button on the fly of his shorts through its hole, breathing harder as Blaine opened his pants and slipped his hand inside, over the fabric of his underwear.

“Oh god,” Kurt thrust into Blaine's hand, once, twice, a third time. The blind pleasure of having another boy touch him rippled from his jaw down through his spine, leaving him jolting into the air when Blaine removed his hand.

“Wait, hang on,” Blaine said. He pushed Kurt to sit up a bit more, then pulled his own shirt over his head. Blaine dropped back to the seat of the car and then quickly unfastened his belt and undid his own shorts. Kurt watched as he wriggled them down just a bit past his hips. Then he reached back for Kurt's shorts, pushing them down until he could reach into his underwear and then he wrapped his hand around the bare flesh of Kurt's cock. Blaine whimpered, then pulled his own cock out of his underwear. Kurt put a hand on Blaine’s wrist.

“Can I?” He searched Blaine’s eyes for any hesitation, but it wasn't there. Blaine nodded, and Kurt lay the palm of his hand against Blaine’s cock, wrapping his fingers around it and stroking slowly. He felt like he should say something, compliment Blaine on how amazing his body felt or how gorgeous his cock was. Blaine moaned, tilting his head back, and Kurt didn't have the words.

Then Blaine wriggled again, positioning Kurt over him and then pushing on his lower back until his cock was pressed against Blaine’s.

Kurt gasped, and Blaine spit into his hand and wrapped it around both of their cocks as best he could, trapping them in the channel of his fist. Kurt wanted to be disgusted at Blaine using spit for lubricant, but honestly the whole thing was so hot and they looked so hot in Blaine’s hand as he rubbed them together that he just couldn't.

“Just - put your hands here,” Blaine said, placing Kurt’s hands on the back of the seat and the door handle behind him. ”Brace yourself. Let me take care of you.” Blaine smiled up at him, and Kurt was grateful he knew what he was doing. This had been a good idea.

After that it was all heavy breathing and the sound of rustling clothes and skin on skin until Kurt couldn't watch anymore. He closed his eyes, thrusting into Blaine's hand as he jerked them both off.

Oh god,” Kurt moaned. He wanted to focus on what was happening. Another boy had his hand on Kurt's cock for the first time and he wanted to watch, wanted to know what he was experiencing. But Blaine's hand was so sure and his cock was so hard and it was all so so different from when he touched himself anywhere that he just couldn't. Blaine was grunting and making noises underneath Kurt and Kurt wanted to know what he was feeling, wished he would say something, could say something. It was all so much.

Then Blaine moaned and shifted, and Kurt had to brace his leg so he wouldn't slide right off the back seat and somehow it made Blaine lose his grip on them for a second - Kurt heard Blaine hiss no then replace his grip on them, twisting in a totally new way that caused Kurt to make a noise somewhere between a choke and a whine. He looked at Blaine, hoping he hadn't noticed Kurt's completely virginal reactions to what they were doing; he didn't want to let on that he’d never done anything like this before..

But Blaine had his head thrown back against the arm of the door, his eyes closed, his mouth open in a perfect ‘o’ and Blaine was coming in thick white stripes across his chest, over his fist, come smearing all over Kurt’s cock as he continued pushing through Blaine’s fist. It only took fractions of fractions of seconds for Kurt to make all these observations and then he felt the familiar whip-crack down his spine into his balls and he was coming all over Blaine’s chest, his release pooling with Blaine’s.

It took Kurt a few moments to come back to himself, the intensity of the experience both more and less than he'd expected, now that it was over. Blaine had stroked him through the last pulse of his orgasm, seemingly knowing just when to stop before it was too much. Kurt wondered if the whole thing had been too much, but Blaine was smiling up at him so sweetly, what looked like real feeling in his eyes, so Kurt didn't say anything. Blaine shifted up on one elbow and pressed the hand not covered in their come against Kurt’s cheek, holding him in place for a soft, closed mouth kiss that should have felt chaste but was anything but.

“That was amazing,” Blaine said, pulling away. His messy hand trailed circles through the come on his stomach.

Kurt blinked, his cock throbbing. “It was?”

Blaine looked up and frowned, a worried look instantly taking over his face. “You didn’t - you could have said if you wanted something else.”

Kurt couldn’t in that moment imagine what else he could have wanted. He shook his head, some need to reassure Blaine spiking in his chest.

“No, no it was, um great. You were great.” He tried to match Blaine’s smile, but wasn’t sure anyone could actually do that. “I’m glad you liked it,” Kurt said, cringing a little and sitting back on his heels, bumping his head on the roof of the car with a loud ‘oof’. He looked at Blaine and forced himself to grin. Be natural. “I’m always a little clumsy after a good orgasm.” Blaine giggled, but his eyes were wide. Smooth Hummel.

Now that they were both coming down from the rush of orgasm, their half naked state was starting to get awkward and Blaine made an attempt to sit up.

“I think there are some tissues under the seat there, do you think you can reach?” Blaine asked.

Kurt twisted around, finding the box and offering a handful to Blaine to clean himself up with. Eventually Kurt tucked himself back into his underwear and fastened up his pants, shifting so Blaine could free his legs and sit up. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Blaine eventually wriggled into his shorts, realizing in a panic that he didn’t have an exit plan. He couldn’t imagine etiquette called for him to hang around long. He was trying to think up some meaningful parting words when Blaine reached for his keys on the front console and unlocked the car doors.

“So, can I walk you back to the party?” He sounded fully composed. Was this all there was? Kurt wondered. They shake hands and leave?

“No, I have to get going.” Kurt shook his head, trying to offer a polite smile. He really had no idea what time it was, or what the girls were up to, but he didn’t think it was quite curfew yet. “Thanks.”

He reached for the door, pulling the handle and pushing the door open so he could step out. Blaine sat in the car, making no move to follow him, so Kurt leaned over to stick his head in the car to say goodbye.

Blaine jumped in his seat when Kurt reappeared. The light from Blaine’s phone shone more directly on his face, and he looked scared.

“Hey I just wanted to say good-bye.”

Blaine nodded, his smile back in an instant. “Yeah.” Blaine waved. “See you ‘round.”

Kurt had had enough of the party, and walked back to his car, his limbs still a little shaky. His body felt good, but his heart felt a little empty, and he didn’t know what to think about that. He hadn’t really expected to feel anything like that. He thought he would just feel experienced.

Kurt climbed into his car and checked his phone - there were two texts from Quinn and one from Santana. He texted that the combination of J.Crew and the oppressive August heat had put him off his original plan, and he had gone back to the car to keep from becoming sick. It was barely 11:30. He wanted to be alone for a while.