Santana is due any time now. She sits back on the couch, and rubs her hands over her belly. Their boy is getting so big, and more than anything, she can’t wait to meet him.
“It’s almost time baby boy, whenever you’re ready.” She whispers.
She’s actually been pretty comfortable, which for her first pregnancy is pretty awesome. Brittany comes in the door from work, and Santana grins.
“Hi baby.” Brittany smiles.
“Hey honey, how are you doing?”
“Good, really good. How’s our boy?”
“Busy in there today.”
“Yeah, come feel.”
Brittany takes off her boots and comes to sit beside Santana on the couch. Santana snuggles into her and puts her hands on her belly.
“Oh wow, he is really moving. What are you doing in there, baby boy?”
“Getting ready I think.”
“I hope so, I’m ready to meet you baby. And today was my last day of work!”
“We’re so excited!” Santana giggles, pressing Brittany’s hand harder against her belly.
“I didn’t even kiss you.”
“It’s not too late you know.” She grins, and Brittany laughs, kissing her lips.
“Love you.” Santana hums.
“I love you too, both of you.” Brittany leans down to kiss her belly. “My baby boy.”
Santana runs her fingers through Brittany’s hair, “I’m still having contractions every few hours.”
“Nope, not yet.”
“Okay, maybe soon.”
“I hope so.”
“Are you hungry, love?” Brittany sits up, always eager to fuss over her wife.
“A little bit.”
“Okay, let me get some dinner going.”
“No, it’s okay. I got it.”
“Baby, let me make you dinner.” Brittany shakes her head. “Please?”
“Okay…if you insist.”
“Help me up?”
Brittany holds out her hands, “Of course, baby.”
“Thanks baby. Ugh Jeeze I’m so heavy.” Santana sighs, catching her breath.
“You’ve got a big baby boy in there.”
“He really is so big.”
“Big healthy boy.” Brittany grins. “Come on, mama.”
Leading Santana into the kitchen, Brittany just beams. She feels like she’s been waiting for this moment for her entire life, and even though Santana isn’t exactly in labor yet, the idea that she’s having contractions sends a thrill through her. A baby, this is real, they’re having a baby, and she’s in awe of her wife for doing this for nine months.
"Sit, sit. Relax.” She directs, but Santana shakes her head, smiling.
“If I sit, I might not get back up.”
“Are you okay to stand?”
“Yeah, totally. I’ve perfected the lean.”
Brittany laughs, “Okay”
Santana leans against the counter, and Brittany opens the fridge, eyes widening at how much more is in there then there was when she left for work this morning. Shaking her head, she looks back at her wife.
“Babe, you went food shopping?”
“I could have gone.”
“I know, but I was just sitting around so…I figured I’d stock up.”
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Hmm, I guess I could do that.”
Brittany leans over and kisses her lips, “Want to take a bath tonight?”
“That sounds really good”
“Maybe we’ll have a candlelight dinner outside too?”
Santana grins, “Yeah?”
“Yeah, definitely. A little wine?”
“Sure, thank you.”
Brittany pours Santana a small glass of white, and one of her own. When she hands it to her, their fingers brush, and just for a moment, she considers the idea that this could be their last night alone together.
“How does pasta sound?”
“That sounds really good.”
Brittany gets the ingredients and starts cooking. Santana just watches, so appreciative of her wife. All day, she’s done physical labor, and yet here she is, insistent upon cooking dinner, insistent upon caring for her.
“How was work today?”
“It was good. End of the season, mostly paperwork. But I checked out a few properties, you know, the usual.”
Santana nods, “I’m really glad you’re home for the fall and winter.”
“So am I. You don’t even know. Just us and our boy, if he ever decides to make an appearance.”
“Seriously I don’t know what his hold up is.” Santana pats her belly, urging their son along.
“He’s comfortable and warm.”
Brittany giggles and reaches over to scratch her belly, noticing that her sweatshirt that Santana has been wearing is stretched taut over her midsection. “Do you need a bigger size sweatshirt?”
“Ugh, maybe. But I like wearing yours.”
“That’s fine with me.”
“They’re warm and they smell like you” Santana mumbles. Brittany turns and pulls her into her arms as best as she can.
“Now I’ll be with you all the time, you won’t have to use my sweatshirt.”
“Hmmm that’s true.”
Santana burrows into her and breathes her in, “Feels so good.”
Brittany hums and nods, scratching her back a little. Santana sighs contentedly, and rests her head on Brittany’s shoulder, “I love this.”
“Me too, it’s my favorite thing.”
She can’t really wrap her arms that will around Brittany with her belly in the way, but she tries, “God I’m happy.”
“Me too baby.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Let me finish cooking?”
“I guess so.”
“I just want you fed.” Brittany shrugs, though it’s always difficult for her to let go of Santana, especially when she’s like this.
“You’re so good to me.”
Brittany bites her lip, never feeling quite as worthy as Santana makes her out to be, “I just love you both.”
“We love you too. So, so much.”
Brittany lets her go and goes back to the stove
“shouldn’t be too much longer, sweetheart.”
“Thank you baby.”
Santana rubs her belly and sips her wine slowly, watching Brittany cook. The baby is moving so much, and she murmurs down to him about how much they love Mommy. When she looks back up, Brittany is staring at her, and she ducks her head sheepishly.
“God Britt he’s never been like this.”
“I’m telling you, he’s gearing up for his grand entrance. Our baby, Santana. Is there anything else you need me to do before he comes? Because…”
“Just be here with us.” Santana cuts her off, and Brittany shifts a little, before she finally nods.
“Okay I will.”
“Alright, are you warm enough to go outside?” Brittany looks at the thermometer mounted on the kitchen wall. It’s only September, but the temperature drops fast at night.
“Yeah I think so.”
“Okay, let me grab the candles.”
“I’ll take the wine.”
“Okay baby, thank you.”
Brittany dishes up the food and gets the candles down. She’s just so relieved to be home, to be home for the winter, to be home with her wife and their baby on the way, just everything. This is her happiest place in the world. She loves taking care of her wife, more than anything she could have imagined, but taking care of her pregnant wife surpasses even that.
Santana is a little unsettled as they sit down to dinner, and Brittany keeps looking at her across the table. She doesn’t mention it as they’re eating, not wanting to make it worse, but when Santana has barely finished half of her plate, and sits back, she can’t help but say something, “Are you okay baby?”
“Yeah, I just feel antsy.”
“I’m sorry, baby. What can I do?”
“I don’t think anything. I might need to walk a little.”
“Okay, whatever you need.” She rushes to stand up. "We’ll leave the dishes here, I’ll get them later.”
“Okay. Ugh I feel like he’s fluttering around in there and it’s transferring to me.”
“How are your contractions, baby?”
“I don’t know… ”
“What do you mean?” Brittany’s heart drops, and she falls a lead ball of concern form in the pit of her stomach.
“I can’t tell if I’m just being anxious or if they’re coming a little closer together. Not like…a lot closer or anything. I just feel kind of off, I don’t know. Like… ugh I don’t know. Can you just like, feel him?” Santana’s eyes are wide, and she opens and closes her hands repeatedly, unsure of what to do with him.
“Yeah, yeah definitely,” Brittany comes around the table and settles her hand onto Santana’s stomach. “He feels a little lower, sweetheart.”
“I really think…I think he might actually be getting ready… I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never done this before, I have absolutely no idea what anything is supposed to be like.”
“I think we should start timing your contractions.” Brittany forces her voice to sound as calm as possible, despite her own anxiety about it. “And maybe call Rita.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah honey, maybe.”
Santana nods, eyes filling with tears. “Okay. Can we walk and call her?”
“Of course.” Brittany helps her up onto her feet, wrapping a steadying arm around her waist. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just feel weird.”
“Do you want to lean on me?”
“Yeah, please.” Brittany holds her closer as she leans in, and she can’t deny the concern she feels.
With her free hand she slips her phone out of her pocket and dials Rita. She really thinks it’s time. She kisses Santana head softly and keeps a grip on her waist
“Hello there, Brittany.” Rita’s calming voice chirps on the other end of the call.
“Hey Rita, um, Santana is feeling kind of weird and she thinks her contractions are coming a little quicker. The baby is moving a lot and he feels lower to me. I’m not sure, but I wanted to call and make sure I’m not messing things up.” She blurts out in a rush.
Rita laughs a little, “It sound like the time is coming. Has her water broken?”
“Not yet, no.”
“Okay, so we’ve got some time.”
“What should we do?”
“What are you doing right now?”
“We’re taking a walk.”
“That’s a really good thing. I want you to keep active as long as you can, and call me when her contractions are ten minutes apart.” Rita tells her, making Brittany feel a little more helpless. She wants to do something, but she guesses as long as she listens to Rita, she is.
“Okay, okay we will.”
“I’m sure you’re worrying now, but it’s going to be just fine.”
“Okay, yeah. You’re right.” Her voice wavers, but she swallows, and regains her control. “Thank you, Rita.”
“You’re welcome, Brittany. I’ll talk to you soon okay? Call me if you have any concerns at all.”
She hangs up the phone and slips it back into her pocket, looking down and into Santana’s eyes.
“What’d she say?”
“That we should keep walking and call her when your contractions are ten minutes apart.”
Santana lets out a breath and rubs her belly, “Okay.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just…it’s almost time isn’t it.”
“It is, sweetheart.”
“I’m excited and terrified.” Santana’s words are barely a breath, and Brittany tries to rub her back to soothe her.
“Baby…Everything’s going to be fine. I promise you that. You’re amazing. Rita is coming soon, and I’ll be with you the whole time.” Brittany murmurs into her ear, and Santana nods. “And soon, we’ll be holding our boy.”
“God.” Santana breathes, and Brittany kisses her head. “I can’t wait.”
“You’re going to do great.”
“I hope so…God I hope so. I’m so scared.”
“I know baby, I know.” Brittany hugs her close. “I’ve got you.”
“Can we go inside?”
“Yeah of course, sweetheart.” Santana trembles a little, and Brittany studies her for a second.
“I’m here love.”
Santana leans into her side as Brittany guides her through the door, and into the living room. “I’m kinda shaky.”
“Okay, do you want the couch?”
“I think so.”
“Okay love, almost there.”
They almost make it to the couch when Santana begins to cry. Brittany can’t imagine how she feels, and she hates that there is so little she can do to make it better. She can be here for her, she can hold her, she can kiss her, she can tell her that she loves her, but she can’t experience what it is she’s feeling, and she can’t take this away.
“Are you in pain? Or just scared? Both?”
Brittany gets her carefully settled onto the couch, grabbing a blanket to lay over her lap, “Okay here we go.”
“Hold me please.”
Brittany gathers her into her arms, “It’s okay my love. It’s all going to be okay, our boy is just ready to come see us finally.”
“I’m so scared Britt. What if something happens? Or I can’t handle it?”
“Honey, you’re so brave and strong. You’re going to do so well.” Brittany kisses her lips softly, and Santana clings to her so tightly. “It’s okay honey. I promise.” Santana just nods, slowly and uncertainly. “If I could take the pain away I would.”
Santana didn’t expect to feel so scared. She’s been preparing for this. Mentally, emotionally. But God it just feels like all of that preparation flew out the window. She feels a sense of sheer terror like she’s never known before.
“Just breathe with me, Santana. I’m right here. Let’s time your contractions okay?”
Brittany gets her phone out and opens the timer app, “Let me know when you have one.”
Santana winces a little and squeezes her hands, “Now.”
“Okay got it.”
“Uh, Britt?” She gasps.
“I think…” She looks down, and Brittany’s eyes go wide. “My water broke.”
“Okay, okay, um Rita, we need to call her.”
Brittany scrambles to find the favorites log on her phone, still holding Santana. Time seems like it’s moving painfully slow and incredibly fast at the same time. The three rings it takes for Rita to answer seem to take hours, and Brittany fidgets, just needing something to do with herself before she goes completely insane.
“Hey Brittany! How’s everything going?”
“Hey Rita. Her water broke.”
“Oh! Okay, I’m on my way!”
“Okay. Okay thank you.”
“No problem. Brittany? Just breathe. It’s going to be fine.”
“She’s in pain.”
“I know it’s hard to see her in so much pain right now. I know it is. Just hold her and try to keep her as calm as you can. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Okay, thank you.”
When Brittany hangs up, Santana is sobbing. She feels so out of control. She had these visions of breathing calmly, listening to relaxing music, easing through this, but she can already tell how different reality is going to be. Internally, she curses every damn book she’s read on how natural this is, and how it’s not as bad as she could imagine.
“Rita’s on her way, honey.”
“Hurts so bad.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What can I do?”
“Don’t know.” She breathes hard. “Hold me.”
“I’m here. I’m here. Do you want me to help you up to our bed? Will that help?”
Brittany wraps her arms around Santana’s waist and helps her stand up, “We’re going to get you comfy in our bed okay, love? Then you can decide from there what position you want to labor in.”
"Okay. Okay.” Santana can’t stop shaking, she’s all wet and she’s scared.
“I’ve got you baby. I’m right here, I won’t leave you. I’ll help you put on the nightgown you bought, okay?”
“Okay…okay.” She feels like she’s forgotten every other word but that.
Brittany is so careful getting her up the stairs. Santana can’t stand anymore as another contraction hits her. Brittany catches her and holds her up, letting her lean the full weight of her body against her chest. At least she can do this. At least she feels useful in some way.
“Okay, okay, I’ve got you.”
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck.” Santana cries.
“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry.” Brittany holds her and God, she doesn’t know what to do.
“Help me Britt!”
“What can I do?”
“I don’t know.”
Brittany hears the front door open, “Brittany? Santana?”
“Upstairs!” Brittany shouts, and Rita comes up the stairs quickly. Santana sinks to her knees
“Rita, I don’t know what to do.” Brittany says as soon as she sees her. “I was trying to get her to bed but she’s just in so much pain.”
“Oh, honey.” Rita gets down on her knees. “Breathe through it. Breathe with me/”
Santana sobs and shakes her head, “I changed my mind. I can’t do this It hurts too much. Just make him stay in here.”
“I know it feels like that now, but he’s ready to meet you.” Rita soothes, as Santana screams out again in pain. “When this contraction passes, let’s try to carry her into the bedroom okay, Brittany?”
Brittany swallows her tears and nods, sinking down next to Santana, “It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m trying baby, I am. Lean on me.” She coaxes, and Santana slumps into her side. “I swear I would take the pain away. I would do it in a second, if I could baby.”
“I know. I know.”
The contraction passes and Santana’s breath whooshes out. Brittany strokes her hair, and kisses her forehead. “Okay, let’s get you onto the bed.”
“Please lay with me.”
“Of course, baby.”
She can’t stop shaking and her legs are weak. Rita and Brittany get Santana up and into the bed, and her whole body is so tight. Brittany crawls up beside her and brushes her sweaty hair off of her forehead, being as tender as she possibly can with her.
“You’re doing great, love. Amazing, actually.” Brittany coos, and Santana sniffles and nods. “You have a few minutes, love. Can I kiss you?”
Brittany cups her cheek and kisses her softly. Santana closes her eyes and presses her lips hard to Brittany’s, drinking her in, letting the sensation of it alleviate some of her pain. It doesn’t work much, but still, kissing her does something.
“I’m having our baby.”
Brittany smiles so wide and lets out a little laugh, “You are. Our baby boy.”
“He’s finally coming.” Santana laughs through her tears.
“Do you want me to help you out of your wet pants?”
“Yeah please.” She looks down, remembering how wet she is, and remembering how Brittany had asked her what feels like a hundred years ago if she wanted to get into her nightgown.
“I’ll give you ladies a few minutes of privacy.” Rita murmurs, checking her notebook.
Brittany turns to her with a soft smile, “Thank you”
Rita slips out, and Brittany gets Santana’s nightgown out of the drawer. She can’t believe it’s real. This is it…This is the moment they’ve been planning for. She thinks back to the night she got Santana pregnant, and wow. Nine months went so fast. Their boy…he’s almost here, and she’s trying to wrap her head around it. She had kissed Santana’s belly that night when she was laying there after she inseminated her, but she hardly hoped. She didn’t dare expect. But now she’s watching Santana lie there with her hands on her belly, and he’s coming. It makes her stomach do so many flips.
“This is what you want to wear, right?” She holds up the nightgown, checking one final time.
“Yeah, uh huh.”
“Okay baby. Do you need help getting undressed?”
“I think so. I can’t really move very much.”
“Okay honey I’m right here.”
Brittany kneels over the bed and slowly helps Santana get her shirt off. Her breath catches at the sight of her belly. This is going to be one of the last times she sees it. It’s so low down, and it makes her swallow hard. She kisses Santana softly, and rubs her hands over her arms.
“Do you want your bra off?”
Santana nods, “I just want to be comfortable.”
“Okay, my love.” She unhooks it and slides it slowly down her arms.
She’s a little nervous about getting her pants off. She doesn’t want to hurt her or anything. Brittany has her hands on Santana’s waistband when another contraction hits her. Her whole body tenses and she grabs her stomach. She screams out and sobs like her insides are being clawed out.
“Fuck! I can't…I can’t! Every one hurts more than the last!”
Rita knocks on the door, “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, yeah come in!”
Santana is topless and doubled over, and she moans, “Fucking hell Britt!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
“Help her breathe through it, Brittany.” Rita coaxes. “They’re getting closer together.”
“Breathe with me, baby, in and out. I’m right here. It’s going to be over soon. He’s coming so very soon.”
“ I think this is going to be a quick labor, Santana.” Rita affirms, causing alarm to spike in both Santana and Brittany.
Santana cries and buries her face in Brittany’s shoulder, “Let him come faster.”
“He’s coming as fast as he can baby. He’s got a lot of work to do. I’m so proud of you my love, you’re doing so well.”
“I feel like I’m dying! God, I should’ve gotten drugs! I should have done this in a hospital like a normal person! I should have listened to fucking Kurt!”
Brittany just tries to rub her back. "I’m here, honey, I’m here.”
“I can't…I can’t do this Brittany. I can’t! I need you to stop it!”
“Baby…I…I can’t stop it. I’m sorry Santana, I’m sorry.” Brittany looks over at Rita with tears running down her cheeks. The contraction passes and Santana falls back on the bed.
“Fuck how many more of those? I can’t handle this.”
“Your labor is progressing really quickly. Once we get you into your nightgown, I want to see how dilated you are, okay?”
“I’m going to take your pants off, honey, okay?”
Santana nods. She can’t even feel shame about being totally naked in front of Rita. She’s way past the point of caring. Brittany is so gentle getting her pants off and putting her nightgown on. It’s a small comfort, but it’s an important one, and she breathes slowly.
“Is that okay?”
“Uh huh. Yeah.”
“Okay, good. I love you sweetheart.”
“I love you too.”
“Okay, Santana. Is it okay if I take a look?” Rita approaches the bed.
“Britt will you hold me?”
“Of course baby. Always.” Brittany scrambles up on the bed and kisses Santana’s head, “I’m here, I’ve got you.”
“Can you open your legs a little for me, Santana?”
Santana nods and groans as she positions her legs, “There’s so much pressure.”
Brittany kisses her head again, and looks over her to where Rita kneels, “Can you tell anything?”
“She’s about four centimeters dilated, you really are progressing quickly.”
“Ughh God, still so much to go. I’m probably going to die.”
"San, baby you’re not going to die. Rita won’t let you, I promise. You’re doing amazing, and we’re going to meet our boy soon.”
“I’m not sure he’s a boy, he might be a wolverine or something.” She whimpers. "I feel like he’s clawing his way out.“
"Santana, if you feel up to it, walking does help some women.” Rita suggests, pulling off her gloves.
Santana sighs, “I guess I could try…”
“Whatever you feel comfortable with. If laying feels better, then go right ahead.”
“I think I want to lay for a while…” She admits. “I want Britt to hold me right now.”
“Okay, honey. I’ll give you a little more privacy, and go down and make some tea. Do either of you want any?”
Brittany shakes her head no, “I’m okay.”
“I can have some?” Santana lays limp against Brittany
“Of course you can.”
“Then yes please.”
“I’ll bring some up for you.”
Rita quietly heads downstairs and Santana lets out a long breath. Brittany’s arms are around her, and just having this moment reminds her of why she wanted to do this. They’re in their own bed, their own home, and Rita affords them so much more time for them then the hospital would have.
“I didn’t think it would hurt this much. My mother did not prepare me.”
“I’m not sure there’s a way to prepare for this sweetheart. I mean…I don’t know. I’m not…going through it. But I promise I’ll be right here.”
Santana curls closer into her, “He’s coming, Britt.”
“He is. He’s coming fast too. Apparently he’s made up his mind that he’s ready.”
“Took him long enough.”
Brittany laughs and kisses her softly, “Can I touch your belly?”
Brittany gently rubs her hands over it, “It’s going to be weird with you not having this.”
“It’s going to be weird for me too. Like God, he’s going to be here but like…I’m so used to having him here. ”
“I think…that we’ll probably adapt really quickly when he’s in our arms though.”
“Do you think I’ll be able to nurse him?” She looks up at Brittany, concern written on her face.
“Yeah I do.”
“Yeah, really. I think you can do it babe. You’ve read so much about it.”
“Yeah…I mean I think I can…I’m just worried.”
“I’m going to do whatever I can to help you.” Brittany promises, rubbing her thumb over Santana’s side. “I know I can’t do much more than moral support, but…”
“You do so much more than that Britt. You’ve gotten me through the hardest parts of this pregnancy. You’re still getting me through them. And you’re going to—agh! Fuck!” Santana curls up and lets out a wail.
Brittany absolutely loathes this. She should have put her emotional problems aside. She shouldn’t have let Santana do this. She shouldn’t have to be in this kind of pain ever. Least of all because of her. She just hates this. She can’t do anything for her besides rub her back and tell her it’ll be okay She wishes she never wanted her to do this. Never again. They’ll be just fine with one baby She would never, ever ask her for another. God. Santana claws at her shoulders, pleading for something Brittany can’t give her.
“Fuck fucking fuck! He’s killing me!” She wails and curls up.
Brittany gathers her into her arms, “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”
“Britt…Britt, I can’t. I can’t. Please don’t make me!”
“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry. I would do anything I could to make it stop”
Rita comes back in with two cups of tea, “Oh, another contraction?”
“A really bad one!” She cries
Rita sets the tea down on the dresser and makes her way back over. She can tell it won’t be long before she has this baby.
“Breathe, sweetheart.” Brittany tries to remind her.
Rita kneels at the edge of the bed, and gets a new pair of gloves out, "Your baby boy is fighting hard to come see you, Santana. I’m going to check you again, okay?”
Santana sobs. The contraction is over, but her body still feels the resonating pain. She can’t believe this isn’t the actual birth yet. God, she’s so scared of how that’s going to feel. His whole body is going to come out of her. She shivers as Rita begins to examine her again. She has always been so gentle, but her hands hurt. It’s too much. She feels terrible thinking this but she just wants it to be over.
“I need it to be done now.”
“I think it’ll be with in the half hour. I’m going to start getting some bed pads ready for you.”
“Okay, okay. Half an hour… Half an hour. Oh my god, Britt. Our baby could be here in thirty minutes.”
Brittany’s heart leaps. “A half hour. “I can’t wait. How dilated is she?”
Rita takes another quick look, careful as she can not to hurt her, “She’s already at eight centimeters. I figured you’d have a quick labor.”
“Jesus that’s four centimeters in like fifteen minutes.”
"It’s particularly painful when it’s moving this quickly. But the bright side is, it’ll be over soon.”
Brittany pushes back Santana’s sweaty hair and kisses her forehead, “I’m so proud of you. You’re so amazing San.”
“He’s coming, Britt.”
“He is, so so soon.”
Santana is just crying. She can’t believe it. She’s waited so long, and Brittany is going to have a son. She thinks she’s more excited about that part of it. This is all she ever wanted, a family. To be a mother. And being able to give it to her…wow. It’s everything. She looks into her eyes and sees all the hope. It makes all of the pain more than worth it. She’d do it again. She will do it again. She’d do anything for her.
“You’re going to have a son.” She whispers.
“You’re giving me a son. I don’t even…know how to process how much that means ,Santana. You did this, with your body. You carried him and you kept him safe and healthy and you’re bringing him into the world, baby. God.” Brittany cries a little. Once he’s here, she has to give Santana a gift.
She doesn’t even know what to give her. She can’t give her enough. There will never be enough. She has given her the best gift in the world. Her son. She can’t believe it still. She’s watched him grow inside of her, but still. It’s almost time. She hates seeing her in pain, but she’s so proud. She can’t even express how she feels. Santana lets out a loud yell and squeezes Brittany’s hand in a vice grip.
“Okay baby. I’m here, I’m here. Breathe with me.”
“I…I’m trying. Fuck. It’s hurts.”
“I’ve got you, Santana. I’m right here baby. Always.”
“Why won’t he just come out?”
“He’s really working on it.” Rita replies.
“Can’t you make him go faster?”
“Even If I could it would just hurt more.”
“I just want him out. ”
“I know, I know you do. He’s getting closer. You’re dilated another inch.”
“You’ll be pushing before long.”
“Can’t I push now? That’ll help right?” Her face is red and sweaty, but she looks at Rita hopefully.
“Honey, it won’t do anything for you.” Rita shakes her head slowly.
“Ugh goddammit. Babyyyyyyyy come out!” Santana presses her hands into her stomach and immediately winces at the pain it causes her. She’s just sensitive everywhere. “I promise it’s better out here! Come meet us! Britt please! Talk to him!”
“Okay, okay.” She kisses Santana’s forehead. “Come on buddy. I’m really really excited to meet you and hold you. Why don’t you come meet us? Come on baby boy, Mommy’s right here.”
The contraction passes and Santana sinks back, “Jesus Christ.”
"I’m sorry my love.”
“How many more?”
“I don’t know baby. It can’t be too many.”
“Can’t I push now?” She asks again, and Brittany looks down at Rita who’s taking another look at Santana’s progress.
"Soon, I promise.”
“Ughh baby boy please. I can’t do this any longer.”
Brittany brushes her cheeks and kisses her softly, “So soon, love. He’s going to be in our arms so so soon.“
"I just want it to be done now.”
“I know. I know baby.”
“Next contraction, Santana, we’ll try to push.”
“Oh, thank god.”
Santana is relieved, and so terrified all at once. It’s almost over. And then she’ll be a Mama. She lets out a sob. It all feels like too much. The emotions, the pain, the love, the excitement, everything. She clings to Brittany, like a lifeline.
“I’m so fucking scared.”
“I’ve got you baby.”
“Are you sure I’m ready to be a mom?” She asks.
“Oh sweetheart, you’re going to be the best mom in the world. He’s so, so lucky to have you, Santana. God. We both are. I’m so grateful for you. I.. I can’t even…Knowing what you did for me. For us. ”
“I’d do it again.”
“Ten more times if you wanted. I’d deal with this pain.”
“I mean it. How many…ugh fuck.”
“Okay, Santana.” Rita looks at Brittany and nods. “Let’s try to push on this one when I say okay?”
“Okay. Okay.” She’s crying so hard and everything hurts so badly.
“God it hurts.”
“Deep breath and push, honey.” Rita spreads her legs a little further
“Oh God” Santana pushes a little, but it hurts too much. “I can’t, I can’t.”
She’s sobbing and she lost her strength. She just wants to give up. She can’t do this. She keeps saying it, but this time she’s really sure that she can’t. She’s never been great with pain, but this crosses a whole different threshold.
“I need you to push again Santana, harder now.”
“You can do it baby. I know you can.”
“Can’t. I can’t.”
“You can baby. You’re so strong, you’re so brave.”
“It’s too much. Please. Do it for me Britt, please.”
“I wish I could, baby. I do.”
“Santana.” Rita says a little more firmly. “You have to push. I know it hurts, but he’s coming.”
“Santana baby, our boy is coming now. Push for me sweetheart.”
“Okay. Okay.” Santana concedes, trying to steel herself. She sits up and tries to push, and it hurts so fucking bad. She can feel his head, and the notion of that freaks her out completely.
“Oh God, oh my God. Britt I can feel him.”
Brittany is so torn, she wants to look, but she doesn’t want to let her go. Santana screams and pushes again. She has to look, she has to watch him be born. She gets on her knees so she still has Santana, but she can see him crowning
“Oh my God.” She immediately has tears in her eyes. She sees dark, dark curls.
“He has hair! So much hair!” She bubbles out a laugh.
“Another push, Santana.” Rita encourages.
She pushes as hard as she can, and Brittany watches his face come into view. She gasps. She knew it would be beautiful, but actually seeing him, her baby, her son, floods her with emotion.
“Santana…God he looks just like you baby.”
“One more push.”
Santana sobs and nods. She screams and the pain rips through her as she pushes.
“His shoulders are out! He’s big, baby.”
“Here he comes, Santana.” Rita cradles the baby’s head, and Brittany is riveted. “Last push.”
Santana is crying so hard but this is it. She sucks in a breath and squeezes her eyes closed as she pushes the last time.
“There we go, Mama.” Rita lifts him up, and Brittany scrambles off the bed to wait for his cry, “Your little boy. Or, big boy should I say.”
Santana is so weak, but she lifts her head to see her son, just as he wails for the first time. She lets out a cry and a laugh at the same time. Their boy. She sinks back on the pillows, and she watches Brittany take him into her arms, cord still attached, like they planned. God, she has to deliver the placenta still, but she’s euphoric.
Brittany looks over at her with tears running down her cheeks and a grin on her face, “Santana, our boy.”
She sits on the side of bed and lays him on Santana’s chest, and Santana sucks in a breath.
“Santana, honey, one more push, and then I won’t bother you.”
Santana nods and pushes again. She barely even feels the placenta, she’s just in love with this little person on her chest
“Hi baby boy.” She cries, as Brittany covers them gently with a blanket. She knows he’ll stay pretty warm on Santana, but she’s going to it the cord soon, and she doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.
“He’s here Britt. He’s perfect.” She weeps, feeling his weight on her, looking at his black eyes
“He is. He’s absolutely perfect.”
Rita is gently cleaning Santana up, she’ll give them time before she lets Brittany cut the cord, and before she cleans up and measures the baby. Santana has never cried this hard in her life. They have a son. A little boy. A perfect little boy.
“He’s everything. God. I can’t believe it.” Santana strokes his silken cheek, watching his drowsy little face.
“He’s so beautiful Santana. God, he looks just like you, honey. I can’t get over it. I can’t even believe it.” Brittany looks down at this beautiful little baby on her wife’s chest and more tears just come pouring out. “I love him so much.” She brushes her fingers over his forehead, watching it wrinkle. “Hi baby.”
He just watches Brittany with those big dark eyes, and Santana is enamored. “Jonas?” The baby blinks up at her, and her chest squeezes. “Jonas, right?”
Brittany leans down and kisses his head, “Jonas. Yeah. You’re sure that’s okay?”
“I love that.” Santana nods. “What do you think, Jonas? Jonas Michael Pierce, how does that sound baby boy?“
Santana keeps crying. Her boy. Brittany’s boy. God. Everything is numb, except her chest. She can feel the solid weight of their son resting there. The warmth of his little body.
“I mean it. Thank you.”
“Thank you. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”
“No but you made him, Santana. Our son, you made him.” Brittany kisses her lips so carefully “I love you so much. I’m so in awe of you. Thank you ”
“I hate to interrupt you ladies.” Rita whispers. “But I need to borrow him for a few minutes.”
God, it’s so hard for Santana to give him up. But she knows Brittany wants to cut the cord, and he’s still all bloody. She wonders how much she is bleeding, but she can’t even begin to think about that right now.
“I promise I’ll give him right back.” Rita tells her, and Santana kisses Jonas over and over
“I’ll see you in just a minute, sweet boy.”
Brittany lifts him gently from her chest, "Hi Jonas”
She cradles him so close and carries her over to Rita. She’s going to cut his umbilical cord. It feels so monumentally important. Her hands start to shake. She kisses Jonas as she passes him to Rita
“Hi there Jonas, you look so big and healthy,” Rita coos. “We’re going to let your mommy cut this cord, and then do a few tests. It’ll be over before you know it.“ She murmurs down to him, then looks back up at Brittany. "Are you ready, Mommy?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m ready.” Rita hands her the clamp and she’s so nervous “I can’t mess this up right??”
“You can’t, you’re doing it perfectly.”
“Okay, okay good. It won’t hurt him?”
Rita shakes her head, “It won’t hurt him.”
Brittany is so, so gentle. She cuts the cord and immediately looks at the baby to make sure he’s okay. Rita is wiping him down and checking his eyes and ears. Brittany looks back to check on Santana She’s settled into the pillows, and can’t take her eyes off of Jonas. Brittany smiles softly and looks back at the baby
“Okay, little guy, let’s get you on the scale.” Rita carefully carries him to the scale and lays him down. Brittany follows behind her ad close as she can without getting in the way. “You’re a big guy, aren’t you? Nine pounds, three ounces.”
“Holy crap.” Santana mumbles
“Long too, twenty-one inches. So healthy. He looks great, ladies. Really.” She swaddles him in a soft blanket and hands him back to Brittany. “Here you go, Mommy.”
“Hi sweet boy. I think Mama misses you. How about we go see her, hmm?” He’s so drowsy, and she carefully hands him back to Santana before she crawls up beside them. He snuffles and nuzzles into her breasts
“Are you hungry, love?” Santana hums. “I’m not quite sure how we’re going to do this, I’m new at this too. We’ll try, alright? Mommy got us bottles, just in case. Britt?”
“Can you help me with my shirt?”
“Of course baby, here.” Brittany kisses her cheek, and pulls down her shirt carefully. “That okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Good. I’m a little scared.”
“Uh huh, yeah. I hope I can do it.”
“How can I help.” She watches curiously as Jonas noses around Santana’s breast.
“I don’t know. I guess just be here with us?”
“I’m right here. How about we ask Rita?” Brittany looks to where Rita is cleaning up. “Is there anything I can do to help Santana with nursing?”
“Just be emotionally supportive.”
Brittany nods, “Okay, I can definitely do that.”
“Okay Jonas. Let’s try this hmm?” Santana guides his mouth to her nipple, and brushes her fingers through his curls. “Here you go love. Wow you’re so beautiful.”
He’s working on nursing and looking at her with sleepy eyes. It doesn’t feel right, and Santana takes deep breaths, trying to calm herself down so this tiny little thing feels calm enough to have his first meal.
“I don’t think he’s getting anything.” She worries her lip between her teeth. What can I do, Rita?“
"Let’s give him a minute and see if he gets the hang of it.”
“I don’t know what it feels like for him to latch.” Santana tilts her head, trying to figure out if she can see it. “How will I know when he gets it? Or if he’s getting anything?”
“You’ll feel it.”
Santana bites her lip and looks back down at Jonas, “I don’t think he is. Should I try to like… reposition?”
“You could, absolutely. Find a comfortable spot for you.”
“Okay, yeah.” She shifts him a little and kisses him, “Here we go baby boy. You need to suckle a little. Come on baby. Then you can sleep.” She cradles him closely and she feels him kind of start to suckle a little. “Oh wow.”
“Can you feel it now?”
Rita smiles softly, “Pretty cool huh?”
Brittany cuddles up beside them and just watches intently. She doesn’t have words for what she’s witnessing, what she’s feeling, seeing the woman she loves feed their brand new baby with her own body. Maybe there aren’t words at all, she doesn’t know, but she knows that she could watch this every day for the rest of her life.
“He’s really eating.” Santana marvels.
“You’re feeding him, baby.”
“God. I just…God. I’m just…so overwhelmed. It’s all too much. He’s here and he’s perfect and he’s nursing. Our son, Britt. Your son. He’s here,”
Santana takes Brittany’s hand and puts it on his back, and Brittany sucks in a breath. “I want you to feel part of this. Everything. Brittany, I want you to get to experience it all.”
Brittany rubs his back, “Hi Jonas, baby. I’m so grateful that I get to be your mommy. I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve waited so long to meet you and god, you’re more beautiful than I ever imagined. You look so much like your mama.”
She can’t stop staring at him. He’s perfect. He’s the most amazing thing. She can’t believe he’s theirs. They get to keep him. They get to watch him grow up. They get to experience all of those moments. Her and Santana, and baby Jonas. They’ve got this whole life ahead of them. She’s so excited and content and in love. Rita is just quietly cleaning everything up around them, letting them get to know each other, and Brittany can’t believe the feeling.
Brittany leans down and kisses his head so softly, “Baby boy.”
His eyes are fluttering closed, she can tell he’s going to sleep.
“You can sleep right here, my love.” Santana whispers to him. “As long as you want.”
He keeps nursing but his eyes close, and Brittany presses her chin into Santana’s shoulder, “Look at our boy, San. I love him so much.”
“God me too.”
He stretches out his little arms and Brittany feels the tears in her throat. She holds out her finger for him to hold wrap his hand around. He grabs it, and God, his hands are so small. She sucks in a breath and smiles
“He’s got you, mommy.” Santana lets out a watery laugh.
“That’s for sure. He’s got such a strong grip. Our strong healthy boy.”
“He’s really big, Brittany. I’m pretty sure my vagina will never be the same. May as well push four or five more out.”
“Santana, you don’t have to do that. You two are…more than I ever could have hoped for.”
“No, Britt…I want more. Not like…tomorrow or anything, but…”
“Are you…are you sure?” Brittany is just so surprised, especially after everything that just happened.
“So sure. I have no siblings, you have no siblings, I want him to.”
“Okay, okay I mean of course baby.” Brittany nods, dumbfounded. “I’d love that, so, so much. You want some brothers and sisters baby boy?” He just keeps suckling, but he’s definitely sleeping. “How are you doing, Santana?”
“I’m okay. Really in love.”
Rita grins at the little family, and waits a moment before she interrupts, “I had to give you three stitches, Santana.”
“He was really big, you tore a little.”
“Totally worth it.” She can’t feel any pain, not in this moment.
“He certainly looks like it.”
Santana just can’t take her eyes off of him. He’s perfect. She obsessed. She can’t imagine doing anything else but watching him and watching Brittany watch him. She loves her wife so much. They’re a family. They have a son. She’s starting to feel the exhaustion creeping in, but she can’t stop thinking about how they get to keep him. She’s going to hold him and wake up everyday to his little face. This is the rest of their life.
Studying Santana, Brittany lets out a contented sigh. She can’t thank her wife enough. She’s going to try, she’ll spend her whole life doing just that. She did this. She made him. Their miracle boy. It’s real. He’s real. Their little guy. He’s not just an idea anymore. He’s a real person. God, Brittany wants to hold him. She can’t wait to cradle him in her arms and talk to him. She leans in and kisses him again.
“My beautiful family,” She murmurs.
“He’s not nursing anymore. Do you want him?” Santana offers.
“Is that okay? I don’t want to take him from you if you’re not ready.”
“No, honey, you’ve hardly had time with him. Here, spend some time with your son.”
God, Brittany breathes when she takes him. “Hello my boy.” Tears well up in her eyes. She just loves him. He’s so new and soft. Perfection. “I love you so much, Jonas. I’ll always protect you.” Brittany kisses his head softly and he’s still got her finger in his tight grip. “He’s so beautiful Santana I can’t get over it. He looks exactly like you. Exactly. Your eyes, your nose, your ears, God he’s your mini. I love that so much.”
Santana hums and leans into her side, “He’s so gentle. I think he’s going to be like you:”
“Yeah, I do. Are you’re going to be like Mommy, baby boy?” She murmurs against his forehead.
“I’ll teach you everything I know.”
“My loves.” Santana yawns a little
“Not yet. Don’t wanna miss anything.”
Brittany grins at her, she totally gets it.
“Ladies?” They both look over at Rita “I’m going to leave you, but I just want to give you his birth certificate forms.”
Santana grins wide and nods, “Wow. It’s real”
“Can you sign for me?”
“Yeah, of course”
“Jonas Michael Pierce, right?”
“Wow. Yeah that’s right. You hear that baby boy?” Brittany tells him, then looks at Santana, brow furrowed. "Santana, you’re sure, right?“
“His name, the Pierce thing. All of it.”
“I’m sure, absolutely 100% sure. He’s our son. I’m a Pierce. He’s a Pierce.”
“Okay. Okay. Thank you.”
“Thank you ”
“You gave me this life Britt. I’m proud that I share your name, and I want him to have that opportunity too.”
Brittany shakes her head, "I.. I never thought I could even have this life until I met you.”
“Neither did I. But here we are baby. A son. A son who’s going to have siblings in the future.” Santana smiles, tired, but so alive.
“You’re so good. I can’t believe you want another. I want a whole brood of baby Pierces,” she grins sleepily. I love having your babies. I love seeing you this happy.“
Brittany leans down and kisses her lips, "You’re my everything Santana. The two of you.”
“Me too, my whole world.” Santana starts to weep, and Brittany snuggles in close to her with the baby between them. “I just…I can’t.”
“He’s too much. He’s just everything. I can't…I’m so tired, and it’s making me cry, but I want to stare forever.”
“I know how you exactly feel. I don’t know how I’m ever going to sleep again. I want to keep you both safe. I will keep you both safe.” Brittany promises.
"I know you will. You have already.”
“No but Santana, I will seriously…I’d die for you.”
“I mean it.”
“I would too. I would. No question Britt. Both of you.”
“Santana. He needs you.”
“He needs you too.”
“No but physically.” Brittany is firm in her words, looking between the two of them with fire in her eyes.
“Well lucky for us, we don’t have to worry about any of this. We’re right here with our boy and we will be for a long time.”
Santana kisses her softly and kisses their son, “I’m trying so hard to stay awake.”
“I know baby, but you need some rest. We’ll sign and then…”
“Okay, it’s all set.” Rita tells them, almost on cue. Santana’s hands shake as she marks her name in soft loops, Santana Pierce, but Brittany’s are steady, even as she holds Jonas to her chest and Rita keeps the paper from moving for her.
“That’s it?” Brittany cocks her head to the side.
“That’s it, I’ll send it in for you, and you’ll get his birth certificate in the mail. And you’ll call me, if you need anything.”
“Thank you so much Rita. For everything ” Santana breathes a deep sigh of relief.
“You’re very welcome. I look forward to doing it again.” She winks. “I’ll see you ladies next week, okay?”
Santana smiles and grins, “Okay.”
Her body is just wrecked. It’s got to be two o'clock in the morning, and she hasn’t slept. She’s so exhausted and so excited and elated. Rita leaves them, and Brittany strokes her hair
“Sleep, honey, I’ll watch you both.”
Santana’s eyes flutter and she sighs, she’s trying but she knows she can’t hold out much longer, so she leans over and kisses the baby, “Mommy’s got you, sweet boy. Goodnight”
He sighs in his sleep but doesn’t wake up, and Brittany kisses Santana’s head, “You’re okay to sleep, I promise.”
Santana kisses Jonas and kisses Brittany, “I love you both so much.”
“I love you too, baby.”
Her eyes flutter closed, and Brittany watches her and their boy carefully. Brittany is just holding her son. Her son. She thinks of all the teasing and taunting she experienced throughout her life. She just…she never thought she’d be here. Have this. Her beautiful wife, her beautiful boy. She sniffles and she just can’t stop smiling. This is everything. The only other thing in her life that compares is marrying Santana. And God, this woman. She wants to have more kids. Brittany can’t believe it. After everything, all the pain, just the fact that she wants to have more with her. It’s just too much. She can’t stop thinking about it, all of it. The fact that this is her life.
She can’t wait until Gram meets him. She still needs to tell her that he’s here. She wants her to be the first to know… but she doesn’t want to be selfish. She wants to talk to Santana first, but she’s so anxious. She just wants to share this monumental news. It’s her Gram. But Santana has to tell her parents too. It’s two-thirty in the morning, and…Gram would come, but…She just, she won’t take it away from Santana. She made him. She’ll wait. She can wait. She won’t ruin it.
Brittany brushes her fingers lightly through Jonas’ curly hair. He’s amazing. How is he real? This beautiful, perfect little person. How is she worthy? She knows she’s not. She doesn’t deserve this. She’s going to do everything to make sure she’s worthy. She has to. She has to do everything she can to make sure they know. She’s going to work so hard. She’s going to take such good care of them. She’ll give them everything. Every single thing. They’ll want for nothing.
As much as Brittany wants to stay up, wants to keep watching them sleep, she’s pretty exhausted. She did a whole day of work before this. She settles down a little into the bed, careful not to disturb the baby or Santana, and she leans over and kisses Santana’s head.
“Goodnight my loves”
Santana curls into her a little. She has to be so beat. Brittany’ll do whatever she can to make sure she can rest as much as she needs to. She’s so glad she’s home. She can stay here with them. She’ll make sure she can relax, she’ll cook every night. She wants her to just not worry about anything at all but spending time with their baby boy. That’s all that matters. She sighs contentedly and her eyes flutter closed. She falls asleep pretty quickly, Jonas on her chest. She sleeps so well, until she wakes up to the baby crying
“Oh baby, it’s okay, it’s okay. Mommy’s got you.”
Santana shifts a little and blinks awake, “I’m up, I’m up. Ugh fuck, my body.”
“Here just stay, San I’ll get him to you.”
“My boobs are like… on fire. Is it because of him nursing or because he needs to nurse?”
“‘Cuz he needs to I think.”
Brittany’s read the books but she still feels out of her depth, “Okay, okay here we go.” She just lays him on her chest. She wishes she could do more.
“Hello my love. You’re hungry, you slept for a long times.” She shuffles him carefully to her breast and tries to get him latched on. He’s frantic and too hungry to do it “I know, I know you’re hungry.”
“Shhh, shhh, relax.” Brittany rubs his back gently. She hums a little, drawing patterns on his tiny back. He settles a little, and Santana breathes a sigh of relief.
“Wow you’re good at that.”
Brittany beams, “I’m so glad I can help.”
“You’re helping so much, baby. Look he latched.”
Brittany looks down and smiles, “It’s really beautiful. That probably sounds weird but it is. Like, he’s eating, because of your body. It’s just…it’s so amazing. Does it bother you that I’m staring?”
“No, no not at all.” Santana shakes her head. This whole experience is just as much yours as it is mine. I love sharing this with you, I want to share all of this with you. I never want you to feel like I’m shutting you out.“
Brittany shakes her head, "I know you wouldn’t I also want to respect your body though. If you need space, I want you to tell me.”
“I will, but I don’t think I’ll ever need it. I just want you close always.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Brittany promises.
“Me either…Except maybe I have to pee when he’s done.”
Brittany laughs, “That’s understandable.”
“I’m a little scared, to be honest.” Santana breathes, and Brittany bites her lip and nods. “I’m bleeding a lot, I can feel it.”
“Can I do anything?” Brittany asks even though she’s pretty sure she knows the answer.
“I don’t think so…” She shakes her head, and Brittany nods. “I feel like it’s more when I nurse.”
“I’m sorry honey.”
“It’s okay, it’ll stop eventually, right?”
“We can call Rita about it tomorrow if you want.” Brittany offers, the only thing she feels like she can.
“I guess I’ll see. I’m not sure how I’m gonna get up.
“I’ll help however I can.”
“This really beat the hell out of me.”
“Well yeah, you gave birth to this big boy.”
“He’s so huge.” Santana marvels again, inspecting his little feet beneath the blanket.
“He really is.”
“He’s so hungry too. He’s going to be a big eater like his mommy.”
Brittany smiles. She loves that, and Santana smiles back at her and leans in for a kiss, “His mommy.”
Brittany can’t stop grinning. She looks down at their little boy, “Can I burp him when he’s done?”
“Of course, baby. I think he’d love that.”
“I really would too. He slept on my chest and God. It was the best thing. Santana. I just love him.”
“Me too, and I love you. Both of you, so much. I’ve said it a million times today, but I swear, I’ll say it a million more. I think he’s slowing down.”
“Yeah? Man, he did nurse a lot didn’t he?”
“Are you okay?” Brittany checks with her, just…all around nervous.
“Yeah, I’m good. Really good.”
“Good, that’s good. Just making sure. I’m going to take care of you. I just want you to relax and rest as much as you can.”
“San, I’ll take care of everything. You focus on spending time with our boy. I’ll do everything in the house.”
“Britt, honey, you don’t need to do that. You’ve just finished the season.”
“And you just had my son. I want you to rest and recoup. Please let me do this?” She pleads, feeling this total and complete need for that.
“I just don’t want you to overdo it, I want you to spend time with him too.”
“I will, honey. But you recovering without worry is really important to me.”
“You’re too good.” Santana sighs.
“I’m not. You gave me everything I ever wanted.”
“You gave me everything too, Britt. I may have carried him, but you gave me him.”
“You loved me, and you put him inside of me. You helped make him, Britt. I want you to always remember that, okay?” She looks into Brittany’s eyes, and Brittany swallows and nods. “He’s yours as much as he is mine. He’s our son. Our Jonas.”
Santana carefully hands him to her to burp. Brittany is so gentle and soft with him. She rubs his back so gently, “My little boy.” He snuffles in her arms and lets out a burp. “Wow, that was fast. You have any more burps in there buddy? Let’s keep rubbing your back.”
Santana just watches them together with a smile. She knows she’ll never get tired of this view. Not ever. The way Brittany loves this baby is the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. She really has to pee, but she doesn’t want to disturb them. She wants to exist in this bubble for as long as possible. Brittany keeps humming to him, and she kisses him.
“My sweet boy. I love you so much.” His little eyes are closed and he’s going back to sleep on Brittany’s shoulder. "You’re a tired guy, huh? I don’t blame you, it’s been quite a day. It’s morning you know. Your first sunrise. Maybe we’ll wrap you up and go walk out to the barn. I have a lot of things to show you. And then mama will get some rest. How does that sound, hmm? I think you’ll like it.” Brittany swallows hard and looks at Santana. “Is that… is it okay if I take him out? I know he’s so new and little, and I don’t have to.”
“He’s your son. Do you want to take him out?”
“Yeah, yeah I do.”
“Then you should.”
“You’re sure though?” Brittany checks again, a little concerned that she doesn’t know what’s best for him.
“I’m positive. You’re his mom, Britt. You make the call. That’s what I want.”
Brittany looks down at her boy and nods, “Okay, okay. We’re going to go to the barn for a little while, Mama. Meet the animals.”
“That sounds amazing, Mommy.”
“First let me help you to the bathroom?”
“Yeah… yeah I think I need that.”
“Okay, baby. Let me lay him down.” Brittany is so careful when she puts him down in the center of the bed, moving the blankets away from him. “I’ll be right back, my love.”
Brittany kisses the baby’s head and comes around the bed. She holds her hands out for Santana, who groans in pain, “Oh God it hurts.”
“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry.”
“My vagina is on fire.”
Brittany wishes there was anything she could do to help her pain, “Do you want me to get you painkillers?”
“Ugh I’m not sure…”
“Honey, if you want them…I want you to be as comfortable as possible.”
“I’m just…I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I understand that, but Rita said it was safe to take them every six hours as needed. She wouldn’t tell you that if he wouldn’t be okay.”
Santana sighs and nods, “Yeah. Yeah you’re right.”
“I’ll get you then when you go into the bathroom.” Brittany helps her up, and she’s slow on her feet. She’s never been this sore. “Are you okay sweetheart?”
“It just hurts so bad.”
“Everywhere. Hopefully these painkillers will take a lot of that away.”
Brittany knows that Santana likes her privacy, so she kisses her head, and leaves her in the bathroom. Santana takes a breath, and tries to lower herself onto the toilet
“Jesus Christ.” She hisses.
Everything burns and aches. She read about it but there’s no way she could’ve prepared herself for the reality. There’s a lot of blood, and it’s pretty disturbing. How is she bleeding like this without bleeding out? It’s insane. At what point should she be concerned? She has to really keep an eye on it. She groans and closes her eyes for a minute
“Okay. I’m okay. It’s okay.”
She keeps reassuring herself. She thinks about that sleeping baby in their bed. Her son. God, it’s worth it. She sucks in a breath and steels herself. It stings so much, and she’s not sure how much she can touch it
She finds the wipes Rita left and she sobs a little
God this is awful. It’s too much. It hurts too much. Slowly, the door creaks back open, and Brittany is there with Jonas on her shoulder, not looking at her, because she knows that it makes her squirmy when Brittany sees her on the toilet.
“Hey baby, um I’ve got your painkillers here.”
“Kay.” She rasps, trying not to cry.
Brittany furrows her brows and chews on her lip
“He’s worth it.” Santana whispers. “But fuck, it hurts.”
Brittany pops the cap on the medicine bottle and pours out a couple of pills. She fills a cup of water and presses it into Santana’s hands, still neglecting to look at her.
“Take them, my love.”
Santana nods and swallows the pills. She needs the relief. “I don’t want him to see me this way.”
“I just…I don’t want him to think…” She gasps for air.
“Honey, you’re allowed to be in pain, it doesn’t make you any less happy about our son being here. It was a painful and very quick birth.”
“I’m so tired, Britt.”
“Whenever you’re ready, we’ll get you back into bed so you can sleep.” Brittany promises.
“Okay…I just need to get a new pad.”
“Here I can get it, less moving for you.”
Brittany bends down, still rubbing Jonas’ back. She plucks a pad out of the package and hands it to Santana. She knows Santana is really embarrassed, so she tries to get out of the bathroom as quickly as she can.
“I’ll be right outside the door, okay?”
“Uh huh. Please.”
Brittany steps outside and closes the door behind her, murmuring to Jonas, “Mama’s okay, love. I’m going to lay you back down and help her, okay? I’ll be right back baby boy.”
Santana wipes her cheeks and sniffles when Brittany reappears. Brittany helps her up and wraps her tight in her arms, “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m going to take Jonas out for awhile, and you just rest.”
“Oh, God.” Santana eyes widen in alarm.
“My parents and Gram.”
“It’s okay love, it’s still early. We’ll tell them after you rest and your painkillers kick in.”
“Call your Gram, Brittany. Tell her. Go there, if you want to…just…it’s Gram.”
“Baby…are you sure?”
“She’s been waiting so long, and she’s been such a help to me. Please, tell her he’s here. Let her see him.”
“Okay, okay I will. Thank you Santana.”
Santana nuzzles her neck, “I’ll see her when I get up, if she wants to come visit.”
“Let’s get you into bed sweetheart.” Brittany is more worried about that right now than anything else. She helps Santana back into the bedroom, and over to the bed. Santana leans over to kiss Jonas.
“Hello sweet boy. I’m gonna rest a bit, and then I’m all yours.”
He stretches out his little arms in his sleep. Brittany helps Santana settle, then lifts him back up
“You need another new diaper and some clothes.” Santana watches her wife with him and God, despite the pain she’s in she’s so content. “Maybe we’ll go for a little ride. How does that sound, hmm? We’ll take mama’s car, because your little seat is already in there. I have someone very important for you to meet. My most important person, besides you and Mama. Your Great Gram. Let’s put you in these cool rainbow socks she got you, okay?” Brittany talks to him as she changes his diaper and gets his socks on, “Let’s see, what else do we want to wear today? How about these snuggly sweatpants? We’ve got to keep you warm. How about this sweatshirt too? Your mama’s sweatshirts like this kept you really warm last winter, and this is our family company.”
She holds up the tiny Pierce landscaping sweatshirt she had made. He keeps sleeping as she carefully gets him into it. She sucks in a breath and swallows hard at the sight. It’s surreal. That’s the only word she can find.
“My boy. My beautiful, beautiful boy.”
“The first little Pierce” Santana murmurs, eyes softening.
“Let’s give Mama one more kiss.” Brittany holds him up so Santana can kiss him. Then Brittany kisses her lips, “I love you. Do you need anything?”
“I love you too, I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Call me if you do, okay? And please, please sleep.”
"I will, I promise.”
Brittany grabs her sweatshirt, and turns out the lights. She watches Santana sink into the bed and close her eyes. “Okay, Jonas, I want to make one extra stop before we go to Gram’s, okay?”
She’s so cautious going down the stairs with him in her arms, and when she reaches the bottom, she looks around for a moment. “Let’s get the keys. I hope you like riding in the car. I think you will. It helped settle Mama when she was pregnant.“ She slips her keys into her pocket and covers him with a blanket before heading out to the car. "Okay there, Jonas. Let’s see if you stay asleep.”
She carefully gets him into the seat and he only shifts around a little bit he doesn’t wake up completely. She’s so careful with his straps. She practiced at Mike and Tina’s so many times. She checks that it’s secure a few times before she’s satisfied.
“Okay Jonas. First stop, jewelry store. Your mama needs the nicest ring we can find her.”
Brittany turns up the heat, she wants him to be warm. God, he’s hours old and she’s taking him out. She’s kind of worried. Maybe she shouldn’t have. She doesn’t want him getting sick. He’s so little. But she knows Santana won’t rest with them in the house, and she needs to get her a gift. Something to just express how much she means.
She’s just going to be as quick as she can and make sure he keeps warm. She gets to the jeweler, and she’s glad they’re actually open. She gets out of the car and goes around to the back She carefully gets the baby out and keeps him close to her.
“Hi baby boy, you ready to go shopping?” He’s still sleeping, and she cradles him to her chest. She opens the door and steps inside. She hasn’t been in here since she bought Santana’s engagement ring. She kisses his head and looks around. “Okay, let’s find her something special.”
“Hi there Brittany!” The salesgirl chirps.
“Oh my gosh! Is this…?!”
“It is. He’s about six hours old.” She smiles, kissing his head and pulls the blanket back a little so she can see him a little bit. “Santana needs to rest, and I needed to get her something…she gave me him, so…”
Rebecca nods “I see, do you know what you’re looking for?”
“A ring, I think.”
“A ring, okay. We’ve got some really great ones over here. Anything in particular?”
“I don’t know…what’s the September birthstone?”
“It’s Sapphire, are you looking for a birthstone ring?”
“I think maybe, yeah.” Brittany nods slowly.
“Okay let’s take a look at these over here.”
Brittany shifts the baby carefully. Her new little boy. He’s sleeping so soundly She still can’t believe she didn’t have him yesterday and here he is. She’s got a son now, she can hardly believe it. It distracts her from everything else, but she tries to keep her eyes on the jewelry.
“This one.” She points to a sapphire eternity band.
“Oh good choice, ” She carefully takes it out of the case and hands it to Brittany to look over.
“This is perfect. She’s a five and a half on her right hand.”
“Okay got it.”
“Is Ben here to maybe… engrave it?”
“He definitely is, what would you like it to say?”
“His name and birthday. Can I write it down?”
“Of course, let me get some paper, just a second.”
Rebecca gives her a piece of paper, and Brittany is so careful with him as she scrawls down Jonas Michael and the date. She smiles softly at the info on the paper
“I can pick it up in a little bit, if that’s easier.”
“It’s up to you, we can have it done it soon, but if you have some errands to run, that’s no problem.”
“I’m going to go see my Gram…I don’t want to run out the time before he needs to eat.”
“Okay! Go ahead and go, we’ll get this engraved and wrapped up for you. You can just swing by on your way back home and pick it up.”
“Okay, let me just pay you.” Brittany fishes for her wallet in her pocket, handing it to Rebecca with a smile. "We’ll be back really soon.”
“Take your time, we’ll be here! And Brittany? Congratulations”
“Thank you.” Brittany smiles, kissing him again.
She waves to Rebecca and heads back out to the car, they need to get to Gram’s. She’s afraid he’ll get hungry, and even more than that, she feels so strange that Gram doesn’t even know he exists.
“Okay little guy, lets get you back in the car.” He stays asleep as she buckles him in again, and she smiles. “You’re such a good boy, Jonas.” She kisses him and gets back in the driver’s seat. “Next stop, Grams house.”
She’s so careful of the traffic signs and speed limit as she drives over to Gram’s, and she pulls up as far as she can in the driveway. She gets out of the car and goes around to the back to get him out. She picks him up, and opens the front door of the house. Gram comes out of the kitchen at the sound of the door opening
“Surprise.” Brittany whispers, and Janet gasps. “He’s here.”
Janet puts a hand over her mouth, “Brittany.”
"My son.” Brittany starts to cry again.
Coming over to them, Janet hugs Brittany as much as she can without disturbing the baby, “Congratulations, mommy.”
Brittany takes the blanket off of him and shows her. “Look how perfect he is.”
“Oh my gosh, look at him. You look just like your Mama, little one. What’s his name?”
“Gram, this is Jonas.”
“Hello Jonas, I’m your Gram. He’s so big, Brittany.”
Brittany laughs a little, “He is. Really big. Santana’s absolutely beat.”
“I can imagine so. Is she sleeping?”
“She is. We just went to get her a gift.”
Janet grins at her, “That’s very nice of you.”
“Well, she gave me a baby. This feels like.. like the tiniest thing I could do you know? God, Gram. I’m a Mommy. ”
“You are, honey.” Janet laughs and kisses Brittany’s cheek.
“Do you want to hold him?”
“Of course I do!” Brittany shifts him into her arms, and god, her Gram has her baby. She takes a picture with her phone
"Hello there Jonas. You are a very handsome little boy. I’m so excited to meet you.” Brittany just can’t stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. “Brittany, he’s so sweet. He reminds me a lot of you.”
“Yeah, you were calm like this from the time you were born. My sweet baby Brittany. Whitney, she was the opposite. She squawked if you shifted her at all.” Janet shakes her head, and Brittany smiles weakly not…really sure how she even feels about discussing her mother. "Your son has your temperament. That’s pretty amazing.”
Brittany swallows hard, and can do nothing but nod and murmur, “Uh huh.”
“I guess this explains Santana’s heartburn huh?” Janet chuckles, brushing his curls lightly.
“I know, right? He’s got so much.”
“Brittany, he’s just gorgeous.”
“I’m so in love.”
“I understand completely.”
“Santana said you should come over.”
“Is she ready for company?”
“You’re not company Gram.”
“I just don’t want to overwhelm her. I know she’s exhausted.”
“She’ll go lie down if she feels it.” Brittany waves off Janet’s concerns.
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m not in a rush to go yet though. I want her to sleep.”
“How about we go sit and have a cup of coffee? Are you hungry?”
“Oh yeah, that would be good. He was born in the middle of the night, so I kinda forgot about all of that.”
Janet laughs heartily, “How about your take your son back and i’ll get some coffee and breakfast whipped up?”
“That would be amazing.” Carefully, Janet hands Jonas back to Brittany and kisses his head, “This was my home, baby J. You’ll spend lots of time here too. Your Gram is going to love you so much. She’s such a good Gram, baby boy. She was pretty much my mommy growing up. She took such good care of me. She was the best. And she’s been so, so excited about you. She’s so happy you’re finally here. And she’s going to be around all the time. I don’t even think you hear me. You’re just sleeping away.”
She’s still surprised he’s sleeping so well. She guesses he’s probably exhausted from being born. It makes sense, it was an ordeal, and he did a lot of work in a short period of time. He’s so new. She wipes a little dried blood from the shell of his ear. God, every time she looks at him it’s like a shock to her system. He stretches his little arms out and blinks. Brittany watches his eyes open, and there’s no denying that they’re Santana’s.
“Hi baby boy. We’re at Gram’s now.” He blinks up at her and yawns. "You’re still tired? Well don’t wake up on my account. Let’s go see what Grams doing hmm?”
She carries him into the kitchen, and Janet has a cup of coffee for her, and is putting a waffle on a plate. She’s nearly thirty, and still, her grandmother knows exactly what she needs, and exactly how to accomplish that.
“Thank you Gram, Look who’s awake”
Janet turns around and goes to her side, “Oh my, look at those beautiful brown eyes. Hello there, Jonas.”
“This is Gram, my love.”
“I’m so glad to finally meet you, little one.” He snuffles and sneezes Brittany furrows her brows a little, but Janet shakes her head. “That wasn’t a sick sneeze, Brittany, don’t worry.”
She visibly relaxes, “Oh okay. Sorry…just on high alert…”
“Of course, he’s your first.”
Brittany nods, “I’m so nervous about him getting hungry while we’re out.”
“He ate before you left?”
“He did, yeah. He ate quite a bit too, well…I mean I don’t really know but it seemed like it. Maybe after I eat, I’ll go back with him. I have to stop at Rebecca and Ben’s.”
Janet nods, “Do you need or want me to hold him while you eat or are you okay?”
“Yeah…please. I don’t want to burn him.” Brittany shifts him into here Gram’s arms and kisses his head, “Grams going to hold you for a little bit, okay baby?
He just blinks up at her, and then at Janet, when he’s settled there. "So why did you go to the jewelry store?”
“I actually wanted to get Santana a gift, she gave me Jonas and I wanted to give her something. It doesn’t compare but it’s the best I can do. We found a sapphire ring, I’m having it engraved with his name and birth date.”
“That’s a beautiful idea, Brittany. She’ll love it.”
“I really hope so. It’s not even close to enough.”
“I think it will mean more than you think.”
“I just want to give her everything. She deserves everything. She is everything, Gram. She’s just…she’s so special.” Brittany gushes, and Janet smiles softly at her. She’s heard this so many times from Brittany, but still, she doesn’t tire of her granddaughter’s happiness. “The mother of my son. My son ”
She peeks over at Jonas, finishing her breakfast. He’s just laying there with those big eyes open watching his Great Gram. He’s such a quiet little thing.
“What do you think, Jonas? Should we bring Gram home with us? Yeah, I think so too. What do you say Gram?”
“I think I’d like that a lot.”
“Do you want to ride with us? And I’ll drive you back later?”
“I’d love to, if you don’t mind having to be away from your loves.”
“No no….I can drive you later.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
“We just have to stop to get the ring.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Brittany smiles, “Thanks Gram.”
“Let’s go see Mama, Jonas. I hope she’s still sleeping but I know she’ll be glad you’re back.”
Jonas yawns again, and Brittany kisses him over and over. “My love. Let’s get you home.”
She cradles him to her chest and covers him with the blanket again. She’s so worried about keeping him warm enough. She’ll be really glad when he’s home. Janet follows her out of the house and watches as she gently buckles him into the car seat.
“Go back to sleep, my boy. We’ll be home so soon.”
Brittany gets in the driver’s seat and Janet gets in next to her, “Okay, I’ve already paid, so I should just be able to run in and out at Rebecca and Ben’s.”
“Whatever you need, honey.”
“I can stay in the car with the baby so you don’t have to get him back out.”
“Oh God, Gram that would be amazing. I’m so scared he’s too cold.”
"We’ll stay warm and toasty in the car then.”
Brittany pulls up in front and runs out. She opens the door and Rebecca is standing at the counter finishing up the ribbon on a small package. Brittany realizes that she probably looks like a mess, having not even showered or attempted to do anything with herself after being up all night with Santana, but she can’t bring herself to care about anything anyone could think of her today.
“Oh hi, Brittany! I’ve got your ring all ready to go just one second.”
“Okay! Thank you.”
Rebecca finishes what she’s doing and heads to the back. She comes out with a ring box, and hands it to Brittany, “Here you are”
Brittany opens it to look at the engraving. Jonas Michael 9-13-18. Her boy.
“It’s perfect, Rebecca.”
“It’s a beautiful ring, she’s going to love it, Brittany.”
“I sure hope so.”
“I can’t wait to give it to her.”
Rebecca grins at her, “I won’t keep you any longer.”
“Thank you so much. Seriously.”
“It’s my pleasure, give Santana my congratulations.”
“I will, definitely.”
Brittany puts the ring in her pocket and goes back out to the car. She gets in and immediately checks the back seat. Jonas is whimpering a little, and Brittany winces, “Okay buddy, we’re almost home. You must be getting hungry.”
In this moment she’s glad they live in such a small town. She pulls into the driveway and rushes to him. Her heart aches, like she’d missed him infinitely in just a few short moments, and she can’t get to him fast enough.
“Mommy’s here, love. Let’s go find mama, hmm?” He starts to cry, and it breaks her heart. She swallows hard and carefully gets him out of the car seat and onto her chest, “Shhh, shhh sweet boy.”
She hurries inside with him and Janet follows behind closing the door and ushering her up the stairs, “I’ll be up in just a little while.”
“Thank you Gram.”
“You’re welcome, honey.”
His cries start to get more frantic, and she opens the bedroom door. Santana’s still sleeping but stirs when she hears the baby crying. Brittany sits carefully on the edge of the bed
“Look baby boy, here’s mama.”
“Hi baby boy.” Santana rasps.
“Sorry to wake you, San…”
“No, ’s okay, he’s hungry.” She sits up a little and Brittany shifts him into her arms. Santana breathes him in, and guides him to her breast. “I missed you. Both of you.”
“We missed you too, love.”
She’s cradling her son and just gazing down at him. She’s so happy to have him back in her arms, “Did you have an adventure with Mommy?”
Brittany smiles at the two of them, “We got you something, mama.”
Santana looks up at her, “Britt…”
Brittany reaches in her pocket, and she takes the ring out of the box to slip on Santana’s right ring finger, “I just.. this doesn’t even come close to saying what you’ve done for me but I just wanted to say Thank you.“
“It’s, um it’s his birthstone, Sapphire. And there’s an engraving too. I just wanted to…I don’t know, put the date you gave me the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten.” Brittany smiles so softly at her and Santana just can’t handle her wife at all.
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted too. I wanted you to just…to know. To always know.”
"Baby… I love you so much. It’s gorgeous.”
“Did you sleep at all?”
“I did sleep a little.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Still really sore but the painkillers definitely helped.”
“Good. Can I get you anything else?”
“Lay with us?”
“Always.” Brittany crawls up into the bed beside them.
“I need to call my parents.” Santana runs her free hand through her hair, and Brittany immediately shifts to grab her phone from the nightstand. “Thanks. I didn’t want to shift him.“
Brittany shifts over and gets her phone off of the nightstand, "Here you go honey.”
“Do you think I should FaceTime them?” Santana asks.
“I think that would be really exciting for them.”
“God, I’m a terrible daughter. I can’t believe I passed out without telling them.”
“Honey, you gave birth, I think that’s a really good reason for passing out. And I know they’ll understand.” Brittany assures her.
“Yeah…I know. I do. Should I like…I don’t know, cover him up?”
“That’s up to you, do you want to?”
“Maybe…I mean, I don’t know. I feel…weird about having my boob just…out. I mean…my dad.”
Brittany nods her understanding, "Do you want me to get another blanket?”
“Just one of those, um, muslin ones.”
Quickly, Brittany races to get the blanket Santana asked for, and when she hands it back, Santana kisses Jonas’ head and covers him loosely. She checks that he’s breathing okay, and that he’s still latched, before she takes a deep breath herself.
“Okay…I think we’re ready.”
Brittany sits beside Santana and holds the phone for her. Maribel’s face comes on the screen and she smiles, “Well good morning ladies”
“Hey Ma…we have some news.” Maribel’s eyes slowly go wide, and Santana grins. “He’s nursing right now, but your grandson has arrived.”
“Your very big, healthy grandson,” Brittany adds with a chuckle.
Santana gives her a watery smile, “We’ve got a son, Ma”
“That’s an amazing name. Your Papi will be…wow.” Maribel wipes tears from her eyes.
"Where is Papi? Is he at work?”
“He actually hasn’t left yet, he’s downstairs getting coffee. I’m heading down there now.”
“Oh, good.” Santana is anxious to show her mom the baby, but she doesn’t want to disturb him. Brittany kisses her head, and brushes her fingers over the back of her hand. “He’s so gentle, Ma. He’s quiet and soft and so much like Brittany. I can tell already. As soon as he gets done eating, I want you to meet him.”
“I’d love that more than anything. And I’ll try to get a flight out this afternoon.”
“Okay, that sounds really great.” Jonas sort of slows his nursing, and Santana peeks under the blanket. “Are you getting full, baby boy? Your abuelita is on the phone. What do you think about saying hello, hmm?”
She shifts him up so her mom can see him as she hands him to Brittany to burp, and Maribel gasps, “Oh Santana, Brittany. He’s beautiful.”
“He’s very roly poly.” Santana singsongs to him, leaning in to kiss his little nose. He blinks his eyes at the sensation and she laughs a little. “My sweet baby boy.”
Brittany burps him gently and shifts him back over so that he’s facing the camera.
“He really is the sweetest thing.” Maribel turns her head. “Miguel, someone wants to meet you.”
“Hi Abuelito.” Santana smiles
He lifts his eyebrows and grins, “Well lookey here. Who is this handsome little boy?”
“This is Mr. Jonas Michael Pierce.”
He looks up at her at the name, “Mija..”
“We wanted our first son to have your name.”
“I.. I don’t know what to say.”
“I think you have the same thinking wrinkle as your abuelo.” Brittany murmurs to Jonas.
Miguel laughs, “That’s very important, Jonas. That’s where all the good ideas come from.”
Santana feels a pang for her parents, “I’m sorry we’re so late calling you about him.”
“Oh no, mija, I’m sure you needed rest.”
“I didn’t mean to pass out, ugh.”
“You’ll do that often, whenever you can” Her mother assures her.
“Yeah I’m rapidly learning that, even though he’s such a good boy.” Santana kisses his wrinkle. “My little guy.“
Brittany kisses the top of his head and then Santana’s. Her family.
"Brittany, you must be over the moon.” Miguel beams.
“I definitely am. I can hardly believe it. I’m so in love.”
Santana looks up at her with soft eyes. The woman she’s built a life with. The mother of their son. She leans her head on her shoulder a little. Right now, she needs to feel close, and she murmurs a soft I love you in her ear, one Brittany answers with her own.
Maribel and Miguel watch them with wide smiles. Their little girl is so happy, “We’ll let you rest, sweetheart and we’ll see you this afternoon okay?”
“I can’t wait.”
“Us either. Give that baby a kiss for us.”
Santana kisses him twice, once for each of them, and then a third time for herself, “Bye Mami, bye Papi.”
Santana hangs up, and lays back a little again, “I need to snuggle with him again.”
Brittany laughs quietly, “Snuggle away, I know he missed you.”
“I missed him so much.”
“Oh! Did you tell Gram?”
“She’s downstairs.” Brittany laughs.
“She is? Does she want to come up?”
“Whenever you’re ready, love.”
“She can come up now, I’m okay, Britt.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m rested and he’s fed and I’d really like to see her.”
“Okay, I’ll get her.”
Santana nods and settles back into the bed with the baby, snuggling him close. “Thank you, baby. And you, baby boy, I missed you so much. I’m glad you’re home. My sweet Jonas. I hope you had fun with Mommy and Gram. Thank you for my present, my love. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you and Mommy being so charming. She’s the best mommy and wife. We’re so lucky to have her. She’s my rock, Jonas. She’s everything. I don’t know where I’d be without her I certainly wouldn’t have you.” She kisses his head, and his eyes flutter as he yawns. “So sleepy. You had such an exciting morning, you’re not even a day old yet and you’ve already been on an adventure. Mommy adventures are the best, right? You’re going to have so many Mommy adventures, baby boy. She’s been waiting so patiently. I bet she still has to show you the barn and all the animals. It’s going to be so cool. We’ve got the cow, and the chickens. Lots of room out there to run and play. God, my Jonas. I just love you like I never knew I could love anyone.”
She holds him so close. She was worried about not having him in her belly but this is just. Heaven. This has to be what it feels like. She can’t imagine anything better.
Santana looks up at the door with a grin, “Come in”
Janet follows Brittany into the room and Brittany beams as Santana breathes with an odd sort of relief, “Hi Gram”
“Hey honey. How are you doing?”
“Right now? Amazing.”
Janet laughs, “I guessed as much. That’s one beautiful baby you’ve got.”
“He’s the best, Gram. God. I already love him so much. He’s just perfect. I can’t stop staring at him, is that normal?” Santana laughs.
“Of course it is. He’s your baby/”
“He is, isn’t he. My baby boy.”
Brittany sits on the edge of the bed. She leans over and kisses both of them. She can’t stop watching either of them. Jonas is stretched out on Santana’s belly with his hands up. She feels her throat tighten. It’s so beautiful. She watches the way Santana’s fingers never stop tickling his little back. He belongs in her arms. Like he was always meant to be there
“Do you want to hold him, Gram?”
“Oh I don’t want to take him away, sweetheart. I got to hold him a bit earlier. I just wanted to come up and see you.”
Santana brushes her fingers up his back. She loves having him on her chest like this, “My perfect boy.”
“Can I take a picture of you three?”
Janet gets her phone out and she smiles at the beautiful family on her screen. All she ever wanted for her Brittany. She’s absolutely beaming. She’s a mom. She has the one thing she thought she’d never get. It’s really so special to Janet.
“I’m really over the moon for both of you.”
“We’re so, so happy.” Brittany sighs.
“I can tell”
“This is the best day of my life.”
“Definitely me too.” Santana affirms.
Brittany is so glad the medicine has made her feel better. She knows she’s still in pain and will be but at least it’s manageable. She’ll make sure she keeps taking it. She needs to. She’s got so much else to focus on without being in excruciating pain too. She’s so sorry she has to feel it. She’d take her place if she could. No question. Santana is so strong. She’s the strongest woman she’s ever met, other than her Gram. Watching her do this just reinforced that. Strong and brave and just…everything.
She seriously wants to give her something else. Maybe she’ll redo her office so she has a nicer writing space. Yeah, yeah that sounds like a good plan. She really does need that, it’s the least she can do. She’d do more, she will do more as soon as she thinks of it. But for now,…she’ll do this. She just wants her to have everything, she deserves everything in the whole world and she’s going to do her best to give it to her. Looking at her with their son, she’s so in awe. She’s still processing the fact that this is her life now. She’s a mommy. She sighs happily. Her family
“Are you okay, Britt?”
“Do you need anything though, sweetheart? Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
“I’m just a little thirsty.”
“What would you like? Water? Juice? Champagne?” Brittany laughs a little.
Santana leans into Brittany and presses her lips to her neck, “You bought champagne, didn’t you?”
“I just.. he’s here. I wanted to have it to celebrate, so I got it last week.”
“Later, for the champagne, okay?”
“I’m a little dizzy right now from the pills.”
“Oh right.. that’s right. I didn’t even think about that.”
“I’m okay, Britt.” Santana kisses her furrowed brow.
“How about some juice?”
Santana nods, “That would be really good.”
“I’ll be right back, love.”
“I’ll go, Brittany honey. You stay.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind, Gram.”
“Stay with them, I’ve got it.”
Janet leaves them without another word, and Brittany brushes her fingers through Santana’s hair. “You’re so beautiful, my love.”
Santana curls into her without disturbing the baby. “You’re everything. Do you want him?”
Nodding her head, Brittany kisses Santana softly, "I’ll never say no to that.”
“Hi, my love.” She takes him as Santana slips him into her arms. Jonas wrinkles his nose and snuggles closer. Brittany kisses his head and cradles him to her chest. "My sweet boy. You feel better now that your belly is full? Hmm? You’re such a tired guy. I bet it was a lot of work to grow so big in Mama’s tummy though huh? Are you just worn out?”
He snuffles and opens his eyes, and Santana laughs. “There he is, joining us in the world of the awake again.“
"How was your nap? Good huh? Mama’s a really good cuddle buddy.” Brittany whsipers.
Santana laughs a little, “So’s mommy.”
“You’re going to have some good cuddling, kiddo. So much love in our house.”
“So, so much.” Brittany affirms, and she leans back, taking it all in one more time.