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Sound of the Poison Rain

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I don’t have to put dates and shit, this isn’t fucking English class. Haley is my therapist. Haley says writing down how I feel (pretty fucking angry) will make me feel better. I shot back that the weed makes me feel better already, fuck you very much. It takes the loneliness away. If I made friends like Mom and David keep insinuating they’ll leave. If Max can fucking leave, anyone can leave. Anyone can lie to you, backstab the hell out of you or both. And the fucking teachers don’t give two shits about anti-bullying and zero tolerance either.

If I could burn the fucking school down, I would. No questions asked. Pull a Carrie White and win at something for a change.

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Hey, Max, fuck you.

You heard me.

Fuck you.

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Rachel and I have…something. I don’t know what yet. But it’s there. She has a dickhead dad too, it turns out. Everybody’s got secrets in this town—Stephen King should write a novel about it. Or maybe I could, not that I’ve ever been the artistic type or anything. That was always Max’s area of expertise, but I don’t want to talk about her anymore. She left, it’s done, we’re fucking done as far as I’m concerned. It’s me and Rachel versus the rest of the world, and that’s just the way I like it.

You don’t want to get on my or Rachel’s bad side ever. I swear to God I’m going to protect and love her the way she’s always deserved. She hasn’t said it outright, but I don’t think anybody’s ever really given that to her, even though she’s popular and stuff.

But I can, and I will. That Firewalk concert changed my fucking life… I wonder if it changed Rachel too,

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I will recite however fucking much Shakespeare Rachel wants as long as it means we make out like we did tonight. Holy shit. “Is that convincing enough?”

“Ye—” I thought she was fucking with me mentally until she kissed me twice (!!!!!) and then I knew she meant it and ash was falling around us like snow, like snow, like snow and everything was so damn beautiful…especially her.

I held her hand!!! I fucking held her hand!!!!! :D

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Rachel got stabbed today protecting me because of course. Of course she'd get stabbed protecting her girlfriend.



I'm in the hospital lobby waiting on her parents to show up, but I'm pretty sure a stab wound and a nervous girlfriend won't keep her from meeting her birth mom. I doubt Damon Merrick will either. "Hey, Mom, this is my girlfriend and she whacks drug dealers over the head. Nope, not worse than David, but thanks for asking..."

Wonder when she'll wake up... We'll just have to wait and see.

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She's not answering her phone.

Rae always answers her phone.

I mean, I know I haven't written in this thing for three years and Rae's kinda gone...weird on me lately (she's not Max, Chloe, she's not fucking Max), but why would she not answer her fucking phone?!

Don't panic don't panic don't panic, she's just over at Frank's getting more drugs. She'll call me tomorrow.

Chloe, there's this guy, he's amazing, he changed my life. Don't get jealous, sweetheart, you're with me. You always have been and I'm taking you to LA, not him. Maybe he can help us get the cash to go, okay?

I will always love you, my magical Shakespeare fairy, k? That's fucking non-negotiable.

can't i go with you to meet him? then we can double whatever the fuck you're gonna get!
No, hon, let me take care of it. I can take care of myself, especially since you told me the truth about my fucking dickbag dad three years ago.
promise me you'll come home tomorrow morning?
I'll be cuddled up to you as usual in the AM. ;) It'll be like I never left.
seriously promise me you'll come home? i'll leave the window open.
Chloe, honey, I'll be home tomorrow. Cross my heart. xxx