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Could do with a Chat

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Harley winces as she pokes at one of the many bruises littering her arm from where her rolled up sleeve used to be. She moved her hand down poked another smaller one as she walked under the street lamps down by the warehouses. She knows they hurt. When they weren't bright red and swollen to match her harlequinn work outfit, the bruises became a deep purple black and stung as she poked her finger onto it.

Later tonight Ivy would gently smack her hand away before adding the cool plant goo ivy kept in the fridge. She would tell Harley off for the impulsive act to make the hurting worse. (Mistah J wouldn't tell her to stop for making them worse. He'd tell her to stop so he could find where else to put them. To find where else to make a swollen mess)


So Harley kept poking at her bruises as she slouched down the street towards Ivy's warehouse. Last thing Harley had heard about Ivy, Ivy had had a whole new collection of strange green's that gave off a spicy scent, and that she was hiding from the bats in the warehouse. A desolate lonely set of warehouses away from most prying eyes. Harley hoped that Ivy wasn't busted tonight or she'd have to make her way across town to Selina's. She could really use a nap. (Heh a cat nap)


The warehouse seemed quiet enough as Harley pushed the door open with a creak. Creeping down the narrow paths between crates, Harley called into the quiet.


"HElloooo! Red? You in here?"


In response, A scuffle and a gunshot could be heard followed by the sound of growing and slithering.


"Just in here Harl. Excuse me for not coming out to meet you. But I have a little hero trouble tonight"


Harley grinned and skipped toward the lit area of the warehouse.


"You know, they have exterminators for those. Instead of killing the weeds, Red. You should get the weeds to kill them" Ivy's responding giggles was dampened by the slithering plant making contact and the rough huff of surprise.


Harley rounded a corner to the open space where Ivy was sitting on a vine seat at her Lab table and the Red Hood struggling suspended, trapped in a second collection of Ivy's vines. The man in the red mask was struggling as the green ropes wrapped around him and tensed to hold down the waving limbs.


"Looks like you caught a big one Red," Harley laughed. Ivy turned away from the vigilante to face Harley, smiling at her victory. Then froze when she could see Harley in the proper lighting.


Harley knew Ivy would never mean to hurt her. That the shots were just for Harley's health in the toxic air of Ivy's sometimes home and that during the midst of a heist were merely accidents. Ivy's accidents never hurt much anyways.


But when Ivy saw Harley whenever she got away from Mistah J's, Ivy's dark glowing eyes and snarling features sometimes made Harley want to either step back out of her way or step behind Ivy and watch her rage destruction on some poor fool.


"Handy work of the joker's no doubt," Ivy hissed.


The Red Hood paused in his struggles, lifting his masked face to take in the new arrival. Harley waved at him pleasantly.


"How's a hanging, Hood?"


"Why the fuck do you stay with that douche? Fuck Quinn, that's not right." Harley's large grin faded at the growl and Ivy sighed. Ivy hopped down from her vine seat and walked towards Harley, putting an arm around Harley. Harley sniffed, curling into ivy's side.


"My pudding is just a little rough sometimes, but he loves me really"


Content to just sway in his vine prison, the Red Hood still shook his head.


"He's a psychopathic clown with a fucking flare for abuse. I don't think he can love anyone"


Ivy glared at Red Hood when Harley began scrubbing at her eyes. A vine slipping over the Red Hood's shoulders, threatening to curve around his neck. Ivy gently directed Harley away from the struggling centre piece of the open space.


"Don't listen to him...Well right now. I do agree with the overgrown bird, but you look like you could use a full nights rest and a shower." Harley was still scrubbing at her eyes when ivy gently guides her to the chair Ivy had vacated.


"It's not that I don't know that the zomboy's right Red. I just don't know what to do. Every time I get away from Him, I turn around and there He is again. Telling me something that makes me want to go back. And the babies Red, He has the babies, i can't leave them behind."


In the midst of Harley's lament, Ivy took out a box and a bag, depositing her chemicals and formulas into both carefully.


"Come on, let's get you home. I can do these plant formulas another night"


"What will I do Red?"


"Honey, personally what I think you should do, is fuck him up. Or leave him well alone. Cut him out of your life as permanently as you can. Then stay with me and try to forget about him"


"Yeah punch him in the dick Quinn" Ivy tossed a hand back.


"What he said. Now just let me get some things from the back and we can head out" The Red Hood and Harley watched Ivy go to a darker area of the warehouse before he began struggling against the vines once again. Harley turned her head to instead watch the Red Hood maneuver one arm out from the thick vines encircling his torso. Then began working on his second arm.


"Do you really think I should just leave Mistah J well alone, Hood?" Red Hood pauses in his administrations. Rounding back to face Harley square on.


"Truthfully I think you should punch him and walk out on his sorry ass like Ivy said. Then get someone to talk about stuff with. You used to be a psychiatrist right? Talk to an old colleague or something. You're stronger-ACk" Red Hood was cut off when his gloved hand slipped off the body of the vine. He started up a couple of colourful cursing trying to get back up.


Lifting a leg up to rest her chin on her knee, Harley giggled at Red Hood's failures. With a renewed hold on the vines, struggling on keeping his torso up, Red Hood continued again. "Where was I? Oh yeah, you're stronger than him Quinn. You don't need that in your life." Red Hood finished up with a triumphant "AHA" and two free arms. Harley's grin faded a little again, keeping only a small sad smile as she pokes at the bruises by her wrists.


"I just.. I just worry how Mistah J would get on without me. I'm a big part of his operations and without me he always forgets something and just-"


"He's a fuckin' big boy who can hurt and be hurt by himself, he'll learn to get over it"


"You just hate him"


"Because he beat me senseless and blew up not only me but also my mother. And you wonder why. But I don't put up with his volatile abuse like you have to. That shits poison and I wouldn't wish that kinda abuse on anyone Quinn. Ya' hear me." Harley watched his hands tighten around a vine. She could see Hood imagining a pale throat and a flash of crazy grinning. "No one"




The landing was soundless. The click and slide of a weapon brought attention to the new comer in the warehouse. "Surrender Poison Ivy, and let Red Hood g-"


"Take him, I'm not doing anything else tonight" Red Robin paused, lowering his bo staff slightly.




"Her and Quinn are heading in for the evening Red. Stop with the dramatics, and get me down." Harley, now wrapped in a comfy blanket watches Red Hood stretch out annoyed at the small vines creeping up arms again while Ivy finishes packing her things away. Red Robin pushed back his hood to reveal his domino mask beneath.


"And Ivy can't just let you down becauuuse?"


"Because I don't want to. Careful with my babies, birdboy."


"Ivy, since when do I harm your plants without cause? We don't all come in guns blazing"


Harley always thought the masks were to stop people from seeing their expressions, but the Red Robin always articulate rolling your eyes under the whiteouts well. Then Red Robin frowns at Ivy, irritated at the accusation, moving to help Hood untangle himself.


"Yeah yeah. Harl, are you ready?" Harley nodded at Ivy, then looked back over at the two vigilantes.


"We've gots a question for you, pretender" Red Robin had pushed back his cowl, focusing intently on unravelling Red Hood without harming any of the vines.


"yes, Hood?" Harley leans towards Ivy, tightening her blanket around her shoulders as Ivy lifts her back over her shoulders.


"Whys the red bird always pretending around the hood?"


"I don't know Harl, I think it's a robin thing" Ivy whispered back, not taking her eyes off Red Robin's nimble fingers while she maneuvers the bag around.


The Red Hood kept talking, either clueless to the conversation between the two girls or ignoring it. "Oh right you missed it all. We had the chats a while ago and the question of the night is- do you think Harley should fuck the abusive pyschotic clown up"


Red Robin sighed, still intent on the task in his hands. "Figuratively or Literally?"


"Punching him in the dick and walking out on his bony ass, dog leashes in hand like a boss"


Red Robin pushed back the black hair that fell over his face as he undid the vines around Hood's legs.


"Hell Yeah"


Harley makes a distressed noise at the instant reply, and Red Robin turned his head to continue looking at her


"He's an abusive asshole, that really doesn't deserve anyone with that much loyalty. I've seen him push you out windows, hit you to calm down and emotionally manipulated you. And that was in one night. You deserve better than that"


Harley tightened her blanket again. "I know I know. It's just a bad day"


"We all get those" Red Robin mutters, twisting and pulling the vines apart to let Hood's legs fall through then moving to unknot the sneaking vines weaving around Hood's back.


We both are stronger than what that fuckin' asshole has done to the both of us." Red Hood finished up.


"I don't need a shoulder to cry on pretty boy."


"sorry 'pretty boy'" Hood made air quotations with the one free hand "is for disney princess Red over there" Red Robin extended his middle finger in Hood's face rather than replying. "Nah you're strong, immune to toxins, clever and brilliant but even the best of us could do with some help. And if that all fails, I'm always up for a milkshake and a burger if ya need it, Quinn"


Harley opened her mouth then shook her head, leaving the Warehouse behind Ivy. Pausing right before she turns a corner, Harley turned back. The two birds almost had Hood free, and were already bickering over getting food anyway tonight.


Harley called out before she left with Ivy (With Pamela, to go find Selina and to rest for the rest of the night. She needed a rest);


"Maybe Later, Hood. I could do with a chat"