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Getting Your Boyfriend Down From A Tree 101

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How the fuck did this happen?

"Danny, would you please get your ass down from there," Roy shouted angrily. He's been yelling at this tree for twenty minutes now. Oh, not the tree itself. His idiot (not really) of a boyfriend that decided a tree would be the best place to write a song at midnight. What even is his life? He went from winning season six of Drag Race to this? Fuck..."

No way! It's fucking peaceful up here!" Danny shouted back. A squirrel then proceeded to run on the branch above them, knocking leaves all over their head. They heard Roy chuckle at that. Ok, maybe not that peaceful. But Danny couldn't concentrate on writing their new lyrics inside the house. And what's better than climbing a tree at midnight and almost giving your slightly overprotective boyfriend a heart attack? Basically nothing, that's what.

"Bitch, I will call the police on your ass!" Roy threatened. It wasn't very ideal for him to be up at midnight yelling at his boyfriend to climb down from a tree on one of his not many days off. Roy didn't even want to know what his neighbors were thinking. "I don't fucking care! I'm from Azusa bitch, I'll fight the fucking police!" Danny yelled back. Some people might call them stubborn, but they prefer persistent. It sounds better. Roy sighed, he was getting real tired of this shit. He thought for a second...there was only one option left. "If you climb down from that fucking tree right now, we will go and buy Oreos. Deal?" Danny paused.....fuck, Oreos sounded really good right now. Maybe there were better things than worrying your partner to death.

"Fine," they mumbled, finally climbing down from tree. They could practically feel Roy's stare burning through them as they carefully climbed down. Roy would kill them if they even thought about jumping down. "I hope you know that I'm down here for Oreos, not you, right?" Danny said seriously. They weren't joking, bitch. Oh, at all. Roy held back his laughter, "Yes, I'm aware," he responded, just as serious. Danny paused. "And I totally would've fought the police if you called them." The couple start walking into the house, the only sounds being Sammy and Dede snoring. Roy had to laugh this time, "Of course you would, you crazy chola bitch." He wrapped his arm around Danny's waist, grabbing his keys and leading them back outside to the car. He did promise Oreos.

Danny smiled. "But I'm your crazy chola bitch," he said, getting into the car. Roy groaned, "Goddammit, can you get any more cheesy?" They laughed, "You know you love me, babe." Danny pecked his boyfriend on the lips. "Now start driving or I will jump out of this car and into that tree," they threatened. Roy chuckled, kissing Danny once more, and proceeding to drive to the closest grocery store. And the couple lived happily ever after.

Until Roy woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a sleeping Danny on the roof. 'Fuck it' Roy thought, 'I'm too old for this shit.'