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We All Fall Down

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After listening to the board arguing with her about her choice to destroy another potentially very deadly weapon from Lex's vaults, all afternoon, Lena Luthor wished she'd been the one who’d been launched into space. That was terrible of her, she shouldn't joke. Kara’s alien boyfriend Mon-El was gone for several months now and it was her fault. She was the reason that he was gone and that her dear sweet best friend Kara Danvers was in so much pain, not to mention the City was trying to recover from the invasion. Lena had toiled in the L-Corp labs over a cure for Mon-El’s lead sickness to no avail.

Kara had sworn to Lena that she wasn't mad at her, that she was mad at Supergirl, but Kara was still distant with her even if she hadn't meant to be. Once the City had returned to near normal from the destruction that had occurred at the hands of the Daximites their usual Coffee and lunch dates became more sporadic, there were no more surprise visits, Lena tried her best to be understanding as Kara would no doubt be for her had their positions been switched. She felt like everything that had transpired was entirely her own fault, including their fall out. If only she had pushed herself more into Kara's life as Kara backed away from her maybe they would still be as close as they were before. Even though she had tried to get Kara to talk with her in depth with her about things Kara remained unavailable. She convinced herself that Kara truly just needed time to grieve and to be given space, she had to believe this was true, she couldn't bear to face the alternative.

Once Lena stepped back into her office she felt like she could breathe again for the first time since she’d come in for the day. She could see the twinkling lights of National City outside her windows, it was a beautiful evening and she could feel the pressure in her chest began to ease up. Walking toward her desk she rubbed at the knot her neck with a sigh and went to check her phone. Picking it up she saw she had about five missed calls and messages, her heart sank and dread crept in, in its place when she realized her messages were from the wrong Danver’s sister.  

"Look, Lena, we need to talk about Kara and you’re not going to like it. But I don't know what else to do, please call me back as soon as you get this. I think this is better done in person, so let me know when you are free and I'll come by."

Lena let out a sigh after she’d heard the voice mail. The words “You’re not going to like it” caused her stomach to churn like butter. If something was wrong with Kara why wasn’t Kara the one coming to her? Why was she sending Alex to her? Or was Alex coming to her of her own accord? Either way, she was confused. She quickly sent Alex a text, then made sure Jess knew to clear her schedule for the remainder of the evening. If Lena’s gut instincts told her anything then this wasn’t going to be a simple discussion and was going to turn out to be a long evening.

The stony, somber look on Alex’s face when she stepped into her office told her almost all of what she needed to know, this was going to be bad. The puffiness around Alex’s brown eyes told her the Agent hadn’t slept in maybe a week or more, she was running on caffeine alone. She knew all too well about that herself, and her posture was more slumped and defeated than anything she’d ever seen from Kara’s sister.  

“Agent Danvers, what it is? What’s wrong with Kara? I know you wouldn’t be coming to me like this if it wasn’t important. It’s bad isn’t it?” Her brow furrowed with worry. Kara meant so much to both of them and they’d do anything for her.  

“Lena, I...” Alex opened her mouth to talk but clamped it shut again her jaw clenching, and she looked at the floor as if she was making some sort of calculations in her mind.

“I think you’d better sit down, first.” Alex insisted. Lena did just that taking a seat in her office chair.

“Please go on,” Lena encouraged, her voice was soft hoping to make the other woman feel at ease. Alex placed the floor in front of her, the same way she’d seen Kara do it when she was worked up about something and needed to expel the energy.  They may not have been blood relations but it was very evident that they were sisters.   

“Kara is...Kara is...well she’s Supergirl that’s how she is.” Alex just spits it out like that, and the way she said it was with such irritation that it surprised Lena all on its own.

“She won’t stop being Supergirl, she hasn’t gone to CatCo, she won’t come home, she won’t eat, she won’t sleep. The only thing she’s been doing is helping out to put the city back together and fighting whatever bad guy she can get her hands on. They’re dropping like flies.” Lena hoped it was a poor choice of wording instead of something most nefarious.

“Lena…Kara always listens to me, I’m the one she’s always listened to since she got here and this time I can’t make her hear me...I’m her sister.” Alex’s  voice broke and it nearly broke Lena’s heart along with it.

Lena got up swiftly rounding her desk in order to block Alex’s pacing path, putting her hands on Alex’s arms. She didn’t have time to process or be upset about any of this because deep down part of Lena always knew the truth. Kara needed her and right now it was clear that Agent Danvers did too.

“Alex, slow down. You need to stop and breathe. Please?” Lena had expected to be shoved to the floor by the distressed Agent, instead, Alex looked at her and burst into tears. Lena pulled her into her arms hugging her tightly. They had become friends yes, but neither of them to the point of hugging but now was the right time to be supportive in this physical manner.

“Kara will be okay, you will be too. We’ll figure this out together. Now, do you know where she is?”  She watched Alex pull back and compose herself, a small gleam of hope in her eyes.

“No, but I think I know how to get her attention...”

So maybe it was a little bit cruel but they had no way of knowing where Kara was or if she’d even turn up, however pulling the fire alarm at L-Corp was a surefire way of attracting Supergirl’s attention.

Lena had made sure the fire department, security, and everyone in the building that evening knew it was a drill before Alex set it off. She’d be the one taking responsibility for this idea so Kara couldn’t be too mad at Lena. They had to try something, anything to get Kara to listen to reason.

“So what happens when she gets here realizes there’s no danger and wants to take off?” Lena could see the gears turning as Alex debated it, before going to her jacket and pulling out a heavy pair of sleek green glowing handcuffs and tossing them on Lena’s desk. They were a new design to what they had used on Astra, they were hopefully effective enough to stop Kara in her tracks and not wound her.

“Just leave that to me, okay? You just concern yourself with acting distressed.” It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch, Lena was deeply unsettled by this whole ordeal.

“Alex? Please let me try everything I can before it resorts to that? She’ll hate us both for a while if it goes there, we need to speak to her rational side. Just give me enough time?” She had no idea what she was going to say to Kara, so she had better come up with it fast.

“Alright, I’ll stay in the building.” Alex hadn’t wanted to concede but Lena had a point. Kara hating her wasn’t something she thought could stomach right now even if it would be temporary. She needed Kara back in one piece yesterday.

Lena didn’t fully believe that if Alex of all people couldn’t get through to Kara that she would be the one to have any luck of reaching her any better. However, when Kara came to her as Supergirl she did always see the softer side of the hero shine though, she hadn’t recognized it at first that Supergirl was Kara but she’d always felt comfortable around the Super, with Lena always confiding in her a little more with each visit.

At the same time, Supergirl had started sharing stories with her of home. Slowly the Kara Danvers side of Supergirl was starting to show even more so and it just made more sense now that she knew for sure they were the same person.  She didn’t have any choice but to try, she hated the pained look in Agent Danver’s eyes and she personally needed

Kara back too.

 

                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three months Kara thought to herself, it had been three months since National City had been destroyed by the Daxmites. Since the world had been in such danger because of her, and since Mon-El was forced to leave the Earth and sucked into the unknown of space. She knew it was in order for them save the planet and rid it of the invaders, it was always the right choice, it was the only choice. She’d always chose Earth.

Kara had spent most of her time helping make life easier for cleanup and construction crews by clearing building rubble, moving cars onto trucks to be towed away. Making sure anyone that needed a break had it.

She also made sure anyone who might get the idea in their heads that looting would be a good option knew they had no right to do it. Supergirl had spoken to their conscious and her core belief that they were all good people. She talked them into helping their fellow citizens instead. She understood that they had been scared and desperate, but she'd told them she was there for them, that this City needed every single one of its citizens to help to get this city back on its feet again.

This mess was on her hands, she should have figured out Rea's plan much sooner than she had and found a better way to resolve it, but she had been distracted from her duties, and distracted from her best friend. Kara hadn't been there when Lena needed her. How had she let this happen? She started to realize she'd felt like a ghost of former herself for some time. Maybe she hadn't been as happy with Mon-El as she had thought she was? Maybe if she hadn't been spending so much time with her second job and fully focused on being Supergirl then things might have been different. She threw herself into being Supergirl and hadn’t wanted to look back.

Alex had tried to get Kara to come back to the DEO, to check in and take breaks, to go home for a while, and not stay out all night working. J'onn even went after her a few times because Kara was overdoing it and the fact of the matter was that even Kryptonians had to eventually sleep. But it was to no avail. Sure she had all the help she needed even Clark had stayed and helped for as long as he could before leaving. Her friends were doing their own valiant efforts...still, still it hadn't felt like they'd done enough, it felt like she hadn’t done enough.

Kara thought that she should have been able to prevent this from even happening in the first place. This was her burden to bear alone.

Flying through National City that evening she'd passed a pizza place and her stomach rumbled. Kara quickly realized she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten so maybe it was time to finally go home for the night.

Once she'd gotten there pushing open the door her apartment was clearly a mess. There was mail on her floor she'd been bringing it inside and ignoring. There were take out food boxes everywhere, her clothes strewn across her floors. It had looked like the Red Tornado had made its return and tore up her place. The only thing she had done was take out any nasty garbage, that was a line she wouldn't cross.

She placed the full pizza box on top of the others and flipped open the top. She dug around the couch for the remote and flicked on the television. She’d been half a jumbo pizza in when she’d heard the alarm in the distance, before honing in her Super hearing to focus on the voice that followed.

“Supergirl?! Supergirl, I need you!”

Lena…

A sharp ache tugged at Kara’s heart and settled as a lump in the back of her throat. She might have been distant from her friend right now but there was no way she was going to lose someone else. Ignoring Lena got them into this mess in the first place. She hadn’t done it on purpose she reminded herself. There were still some parts of Kara that could listen to reason...she just hadn’t wanted to. Throwing herself into being Supergirl was the only way she could cope with more loss and destruction.

Right now her body had felt full of steel as she sped through her apartment to get back into her suit she instantly regretted not getting a

shower before she ate. Kara could fly to L-Corp in her sleep as she raced toward the sound of the alarm. When Supergirl got there the first thing she noticed was that there was only one fire truck that hadn’t had its

lights on, there were people mustering outside but no one seemed like they were in a panic, heart beats were not racing, something suspicious was clearly going on.

“Lena, what’s going on? This looks like a drill, why did you call out to me?” Kara was clearly annoyed when her boots touched down on the balcony. She didn’t appreciate being deceived. She walked closer to Lena folding her arms across her chest, her jaw clenched as she waited for some explanation.

“Because Alex came to me and asked me to talk to you. She’s been worried sick about you. She says you won’t listen to reason. She says you won’t go home, she says you won’t eat or sleep. She says you haven’t been to Catco. She thought maybe I could get through to you...Kara.”

“Well for your information I was home tonight and I was eating before I got pulled here to your fake fire alarm and…Kara? What do you mean Kara? What about her?” Kara’s eyes were dark and confused. Lena pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a heavy sigh. How did she get talked into this? This shouldn’t be the way this conversation happens, this shouldn’t be the way Kara’s secret comes to light, but here they were.

“Kara, I know it’s you. Alex told me everything...she’s been desperate to get through to you, to get you to stop working yourself into the ground, to go back to your other life. Forgive us for pulling the fire alarm like a couple of teenagers, we had to figure out a way to get your attention. I can’t figure out why she thinks this but Alex was convinced I’d be the one you’d finally listen too, even though you’ve already been blocking out all of your friends, your family.” Lena wanted to go to her, to reach out to her but her nervousness kept her feet firmly in place. She wasn’t afraid of Kara, but of the response, she might get.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to have her touch rejected right now, and things had already been tense between them with the lack of contact for the past...Week? Two? More? Lena wasn’t sure anymore when Kara had started to disappear on her.

“Alex has no right to tell you any of this Lena,” Kara’s face was etched with shock and betrayal. Her brows furrowed, her eyes fluttering closed.

“This wasn’t her secret to tell, it’s mine and mine alone. Being Kara Danvers, being distracted with Catco and my social life, this is what got the planet into trouble in the first place, if I had just been doing my duty as Supergirl and paying better attention to what was going on with Rea then none of this would have even happened in the first place. Mon-El would still be here, the City wouldn’t have been in ruins. This is because Kara Danvers was a mistake.” There was more sorrow in her voice than malice but her words had still stung.

“How can you even think that? My best friend is not a mistake. Kara Danvers is a smart, sweet, caring, compassionate, wonderful woman! She uses her writing to reach the masses and keep them informed on important topics, even if they are controversial ones, the things people deserve to know you push to get them written. Even if you’re just quoting yourself most of the time it works. You’ve helped the City start to see me in a better light with your articles and I’ll always be so grateful for that. You’ve helped my company get new backers and doors have opened for new projects because they’ve heard that Catco has been endorsing me and making such bold statements about my plans to do better and make the world a better place.  It wasn’t Supergirl who wrote them that was Kara Danvers. It’s made a huge difference to my company’s image.” Lena paused, Kara had turned away from her and was standing at the edge of the balcony looking out over the City. It was a view they loved to share together, she’d lost track of all the hours they spent just staring at the lights and looking up at the stars. Lena took up space at Supergirl’s side, the place she felt she was meant to stand. Kara would quietly agree because she’d inched a little closer, elbows nearly touching now.

“What about your Sister? I know for a fact that you are certainly proud to be her Sister and you’d never change that fact, Kara. Alex needs Kara Danvers more than anyone else on this planet. She loves you so much, she came here to me tonight desperate to reach you. Do you know what she actually did when she came to me? She cried in my arms...I’ve never seen that woman falter under any sort of pressure but she did tonight. You are her rock Kara, she needs you. Alex exposed your secret to me because she’s been so worried about you, she had to resort to taking a drastic step in order to get you listen to someone. I already had, but now respect the hell out of her even more for trusting me like this. Kara Danvers is important because she gives you a chance to have peace, to not carry the weight of this entire world on your back for a few hours a day. You get a chance at a slice of normalcy in your otherwise chaotic life as a Superhero, you get to recharge emotionally, even heroes need that. It’s not your fault that Rea manipulated me, it’s not your fault that Mon-El is gone. It was either him or the planet and you’d never make another choice than the one you did. It’s always going to be saving the planet for Supergirl,

it has to be because you can’t bear the thought of losing another planet, to loose the ones you love all over again. There is nothing else and no one else you’d choose over saving the Earth. Not even me, or Alex, and I wouldn’t want you to, I know for a fact she’d feel the same way. This planet needs its champion but it also needs Kara Danvers too. You need her for balance, the world needs her for all of the good she does, for the lives she touches with her words, for the sunshine she spreads with her smile. For the love that Kara Danvers has for everyone without question.”

Lena hadn’t known was to expect, but Kara had stood there in stoic silence. She was honestly expecting more of a fight but Kara reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. Kara had finally been ready to listen. She had grown tired from gluing the City back together. She was tired from doing things entirely on her own. Sometimes she was too stubborn for her own good to admit to any of that at, admit to being wrong. But she trusted in Lena, in a different way than she trusted Alex or her friends.

“Kara, you can’t keep pushing everyone away including yourself.” She squeezed Kara’s hand in return.

“I know, I’m sorry, Lena. I’ve really messed things up, with Alex, with you, with everyone. I don’t know if I have a job to go back to.” It was the smallest she’d ever heard Kara’s voice. It was evident that she was silently crying. Lena reached up to wipe Kara's tears from her cheeks.

“I know Kara, I’m not mad at you, I’m going anywhere. I’m here for you, I’ll help in any way I can. I promise.” With that Kara turned and buried herself in Lena’s arms, crying into her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have never pushed you away.” Lena carded her fingers through blonde curls of hair, clutching to Kara as tightly as she could with her meek in comparison human strength.

“Shh, it’s okay. I understand. I’m right here.” Lena rubbed her back.  

“You’ll always be my best friend and my hero, Kara Danvers. I’m sure you’ll still have a job to go back to there have been some extenuating circumstances.”

“I love you, Lena,” Kara murmured into Lena’s hair. Lena had hardly caught it, she wasn’t sure she’d even heard her correctly at all. Kara pulled back, tentatively brushing her lips against Lena’s.

“Kara,” Lena whispered, reaching up to cup Kara’s cheek.

“Not like this...Please, my sweet? Not like this...” She shook her head, her voice faltering. There was nothing in the world she wanted more than to be with Kara, their time apart had pained her greatly, but she wanted to be understanding, she wanted to give Kara time. And now this? One of them had finally said it out loud, there it was hanging in the crisp night air between them. Her green eyes became glassy. Lena looked at Kara with tears and longing in her eyes. Right now she knew she didn’t have an ounce of strength that could keep Kara in her arms but she clung to her hero anyway, as if she’d disappear at any second.

“Lena, I-I think I should go.” Kara looked to the ground. Her shoulders slumped with the weight of the rejection and she tried to move to turn away but she hadn’t had the heart to fully do it. Lena grasped Kara’s face in both of her hands to get her attention back and Kara whimpered.  

“Don’t you dare take off on me again, Kara,” Lena warned. Kara’s boots froze into place. She wrapped her arms back around Lena’s waist.  

“All I’m saying is that you need more time to heal, and I just found out about...everything. I need to process this, to adjust. I do know for sure that there’s nothing more I want than to be with you, Kara. If you are serious with your words just now, then I don’t want to say it until it’s right, until it’s meant to be ours. Please, will you go home and let Alex take care of you?” Lena bit her lip, staring into those piercing blue eyes that held galaxies in them.

"I-I will, but will you come, too? Just for a little while? Please, Lena? I need you...” Kara’s head dropped to Lena’s shoulder. She was so tired.

“For a little while...” It wasn't the first, nor the last time she'd cave in for Kara Danvers.