Chapter 1: A Late Night Discussion
Very few people know about how Katsuki can get late at night. Izuku is one of the lucky few who does, and he's dealing with it firsthand as he tries to sleep. It's late in the evening and Izuku is comfortably lying down on the bed, eyes closed, relaxed.
"H-hey Deku... what if..." the sentence is cut off by snickering. "What. What if. Hear me out ok hear me out." there's more snickering.
"What is it?" Izuku turns his head slightly and opens his eyes.
"What if... there was a quirk..."
"where your butcheeks turn into skateboards."
Izuku and Katsuki both burst into muffled laughter, making noises and motions that imitate a skateboard rolling away.
"Just straight up 'bye bitches!'" another woosh noise to imitate skating away, followed by more laughter between the two boys. Izuku has tears in his eyes from laughing.
"Just both your asscheeks turn into skateboards," Katsuki says with emphasis on the word asscheeks.
"What the fuck man?" Izuku says between giggles.
"It like, appeared above my head in a fully formed vision, just 'Asscheek Skateboard'" Katsuki explains, reaching out above him. There's more intense giggling between the two of them.
"I've got another one," Katsuki says after a while.
"You have fists inside your nostrils. They're on stalks like snails and they just..." he makes a "fwoop" noise and a motion to indicate the theoretical fists coming out of his nose. Izuku laughs and playfully smacks Katsuki's shoulder.
"Kacchan stoooop. For all you know someone actually has that as their quirk!"
"Well that's shit for them then!" he cackles, clearly not caring. It earns him another shove on the shoulder.
"Hey what if..." Katsuki starts. Izuku rolls his eyes and starts laughing again before Katsuki can even say what he's thinking.
"What if when you sneezed... you turned into a dog?" Izuku covers his mouth to muffle the laughter.
"How would you turn back? Is there... is there a time limit or...?"
"You gotta sneeze again," Katsuki clarifies, grinning like an idiot. Poor Izuku is tearing up again from laughter. He eventually calms and wipes the tears off his face. He looks over at the clock to check what time it is.
"Ah Kacchan! It's so late!" Izuku says plopping his head back on the pillow and turning so he's facing away from Katsuki. "I need to SLEEP! Good night!" he says, hoping that Katsuki will calm down and allow him to fall asleep.
It almost works. There's silence for a short time and Izuku begins to relax. That is until he hears suspicious muffled chuckling.
"Deku." Izuku sighs upon hearing his nickname and turns to face Katsuki.
"Every other Wednesday.... your hand turns into a gun." and the laughing begins again.
"Why would that even be a thing?!" Izuku asks, still laughing.
"Oh come on you KNOW there's someone out there with something like that. Just gunhand. Every other Wednesday. That's just what they have to deal with!" Katsuki is grinning widely at the thought. Izuku feels kinda bad for laughing so hard, considering he may very well be laughing at someone's actual quirk, but at this point he's slap-happy as well.
"Hey... hey I got another one."
"All your teeth... are worms..."
There's a pause.
"Uuuuuuuuugh!!" Izuku shudders at the thought. He gives Katsuki a look of absolute what the fuck at the idea. Katsuki is giggling at his reaction.
"Yeah they just come out of your gums and if you break a tooth, because they're worms they just come right back! You won't be able to bite hard enough to do anything but with food you just stick it in your mouth and all the worm bits just..." he starts making weird noises to imitate worms gnawing on food. Izuku looks at him disgusted.
"That's... absolutely disguuuusting.... I hate you. I don't actually hate you but I hate that idea." Izuku says. Katsuki is cackling.
"I'm telling you these are coming to me in visions. I look up and see 'worms for teeth'" Katsuki gestures so wildly that his hand bumps into the nightstand. "Ow."
"... I think that's enough for tonight I think we should go to bed," Izuku says, desperately wanting to think of anything but worms for teeth.
"Oh fiiiine. Ruin my fun as always why don't you." Katsuki is only teasing of course, and Izuku knows this. Still, Izuku is thankful that he can finally get some sleep. He gently puts a hand on Katsuki's cheek and gives him a quick kiss. He then rolls over so his back is facing Katsuki and closes his eyes.
Katsuki reaches over and puts his arm over Izuku's waist, pulling him close. He soon closes his eyes as well. In his sleepy haze he mutters out, "Love you."
"Love you too."
And the two soon drift into a sound sleep.
Chapter 2: Now Everyone Knows
Katsuki doesn't sleep well and everyone gets to see how ridiculous he is when he's tired.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Izuku asks Katsuki as the approach their classroom.
"Sssshut your absolute face hole I'll be fine," Katsuki slurrs. He looks utterly exhausted. He hardly got any sleep thanks to some assholes making noise outside his house. He had wanted to blow them to pieces but restrained himself.
"Absolute face hole? Really Kacchan?" Izuku is grinning. He can't help but find sleepy Katsuki an endless source of entertainment. Katsuki just grumbles and finds his seat. Izuku soon finds his as well and sits down.
There's still plenty of time before class is to start, and all the students are chatting with eachother. Katsuki stays mostly silent and stares at the ceiling.
"I just had a thought occur to me and I can't remember any of it except I think it started with 'ye b oii'!!" Katsuki suddenly says loudly, still staring blankly at the ceiling. Students go silent and look at him. Izuku covers his mouth and tries to not laugh.
"Uhhh... what?" Kirishima is the first to say anything, seeing as he was about to talk to Katsuki anyway.
"You heeeeeeeard me. Ye b oii!" Katsuki smacks his desk.
"Uhhm... dude are you ok?"
"Ye b oii here he is. YE BOIIIII!!" Katsuki then starts laughing. Izuku breaks and starts laughing too.
"When life gives you lemons you make ye b oii!" everyone except Izuku is concerned. Even though Katsuki has significantly calmed down as of late, he was still a pretty harsh person. Not usually the type to be all giggly and weird.
"Bakugou! Are you alright?! Are you feeling ill?!" Iida asks, genuinely worried about his classmate.
"Fuck how am I?! I'm YEEEEEEE B OI II!!!" Katsuki yells, then starts cackling. He then turns to face Izuku. "Deeeeku..."
"W-snrk... what Kacchan?" Izuku is desperately trying to stifle his laughter.
And Izuku loses all control again. It seems "fish squeezie" is some sort of inside joke between the two of them. Uraraka suddenly taps Izuku on the shoulder.
"What's wrong with him???" she asks, fear on her face.
"Nothing, nothing... hehe, he's just tired!" Izuku waves off the concern.
"I'm dyin g Deku." Katsuki says flatly. He's bent backwards over the back of his chair now, looking at Izuku upside down. Izuku just pats him on the forehead.
Katsuki suddenly sits back upright in his chair and looks intensely at Uraraka. "You wouldn't pirate a dog!"
"I WOULD PIRATE A DOG! ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADED DOG NOW!! DOG ACQUIRED! You say 'ah yes but what about the police'? I have a dog now shove it!"
Uraraka doesn't understand why he's talking to her. Katsuki just stares at her angrily. He then turns, plops his head on his desk, and falls asleep. Izuku is still losing his shit. Everyone got to see what Katsuki is like when he's tired.
Katsuki was like a zombie for the rest of the class and didn't say a word.
Chapter 3: Fighting the Ocean
Insomnia? Solve it by being mad at the ocean.
It's about 4 in the morning, and Katsuki is staring ferociously out into the vast sea before him. The wind gently blows, making his spiky hair sway slightly. He's not wearing a shirt. Only a pair of shorts even though it's a rather chilly morning. Only the earliest of birds are up and about, both literal birds and people alike.
Izuku and Uraraka interrupt the majestic scene. The two are out for an early morning run when they stumble across Katsuki. It takes them a moment to fully register that it's him. When they realize it is, in fact, Katsuki, they stop. Izuku is the first to approach, slowly.
"Hey.... Kacchan... what are you doing up?" he asks timidly.
"I've peeled my skin like a banana, I exist in another plane now. I've become my final form, a human catastrophe," he says in an unusually flat tone. Neither Izuku or Uraraka know how to respond to that.
"I mean, he is a human catastrophe. At least he's admitting it," Uraraka mutters to Izuku. Izuku shrugs in acceptance of that fact.
"FIGHT ME YOU WET BASTARD!!!" Katsuki continues to menace the ocean.
"Kacchan!" Katsuki turns at the sound of Izuku's voice finally.
"Look man, it wants to throw down. The ocean is coming and all that's stopping it is me and my fucking amazing pecs!" Katsuki states like it's obvious. There's a moment of awkward silence before Katsuki points at Uraraka.
"I diagnose you with fish,"
"I'm sorry, what?! "
"Fish. Women. They're all fish. I'm a certified doctor,"
"Are you now?" Izuku says, disbelieving.
"Yes. Dr. Katsuki A. Nus"
"Oh my god."
The two decide it's time to take Katsuki home so he can get some sleep.