chat: dakin's a slag
David Posner: i want death
why: but pos it's 3am go to sleep
David Posner: no
David Posner: i need to do this fucking essay
why: which one
David Posner: the one on the Geneva five of 1816 and their literary works' impact on english society and culture
David Posner: the one where in order to get a half-decent mark, i must be #edgy and claim that Mary Godwin Shelley, daughter of Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, mother of science fiction, vodka aunt of the gothic novel and all-around BAMF, was not impactful- and if she was- it was because of Percy 'the B stands for Bitchboy' Shelley
why: first of all, the b stands for bysshe and you know full damn well it does
why: second, i think youre getting too attached to what youre writing
David Posner: with the greatest of respect, chris, its a little hard to profess belief in the exact opposite of one of your most fundamental views
why: no its not
David Posner: yes it is
why: look, pos
why: just because you say something doesnt mean that 1) its true or 2) you believe its true
David Posner: but it feels so wrong- like, my last point was that the shift from biological science in the Romantic period to technological science in the Victorian was to do with increasing Anglican conservatism
David Posner: and yes, it's an interpretation, but it's just wrong
David Posner: it's just not that basic
why: once youre at oxford you can write what you think
why: but first youve got to get there
why: the end justifies the means
David Posner: but im just using history as a means to an end
why: okay, rule #1 of this chat: fuck immanuel kant
HowAboutVanNogh: WHO MENTIONED THE DEVIL
David Posner: good morning, james
David Posner: one day youre going to have to get over your hatred of philosophy
HowAboutVanNogh: ILL GET OVER IT WHEN IM DEAD
HowAboutVanNogh: FUCK THE PHILOSOPHY A-LEVEL
why: if it makes you feel any better like 90% of the things weve done this term have violated the categorical imperative of truth
David Posner: truth means nothing now anyway
why: *life means nothing now anyway
David Posner: calm down there nietzsche
HowAboutVanNogh: excuse me who's that
HowAboutVanNogh: we only know @DAKIN_YES kneeshaw in this house
why: @DAKIN_YES kneeshaw
David Posner: @DAKIN_YES kneeshaw
HowAboutVanNogh: @DAKIN_YES kneeshaw
DAKIN_YES: i hate all of you
420nosescope has changed their name to kneeshaw
DAKIN_YES: especially you, timms
kneeshaw: @DAKIN_YES ;-x love you too, darl
kneeshaw: sugar my turnips ive not done my essay
TEACHUSSY: well who's stupid fault is that
kneeshaw: ARE YOU SASSING ME
kneeshaw: SIR IM SHOCKED
kneeshaw: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOUR MOST DARLING PUPIL
TEACHUSSY: two things, timms:
TEACHUSSY: one- you are not my most darling pupil
TEACHUSSY: two- it's not my fault if the consequences of not doing your essays mean that you don't get into cambridge.
kneeshaw : sir
DAKIN_YES: wow that's so sad lockwood play blue monday by new order
HowAboutVanNogh: that's a bit gay, dakin
private chat between adilicious and xxx-jimmy
adilicious: 'bit gay' SAYS YOU
xxx-jimmy: situational irony, adil
TEACHUSSY: just do what you were actually supposed to do over the weekend and i'll overlook that it's late.
kneeshaw: okay sir.
TEACHUSSY: and dakin?
private chat between TEACHUSSY and stu_the_dude
c hat: dakin's a slag
kneeshaw has changed the chat name to FUCK IRWIN
David Posner: careful dakin might take that as an imperative
kneeshaw has changed the chat name to IRWIN'S A FUCK
kneeshaw: hes such a fucking dickhead i hate him
kneeshaw: 'you wont get into cambridge' fuck off
kneeshaw: because i havent done his fucking essay come on
kneeshaw: oh yeah because i forgot to do one essay im going to the uni of fuck-all-nowhere
pete: to be fair tony hes been here nearly two months, we take the exam in four weeks and you havent given him a single essay
pete: given the circumstances i think hes being more than reasonable.
pianoMan: 'we take the exam in four weeks' thanks for giving me an anxiety disorder, rudge
kneeshaw: i *have* given him essays
Here_come-tech-boi: never on time
HowAboutVanNogh: and half of them are recycled totty essays, youve told us as much
kneeshaw: y'all cant be serious
kneeshaw: youre writing ALL NEW ESSAYS on the same topics?
David Posner: obviously
why: i mean, i use the same sources and sometimes the same arguments, but it's a new essay every time
David Posner: because we want to pass the damn exam
David Posner: we can't all give as few fucks as you tony some of us have to actually fucking work to produce something half-decent
kneeshaw: fuck off posner
pianoMan: no, he's right
pianoMan: we're all putting so much effort in right now that the fact that you dont even hand anything in is actually taking the piss
kneeshaw: but its just another exam
David Posner: its not just another fucking exam tony
David Posner: it's oxbridge
David Posner: and some of us want to fucking go there, okay?
kneeshaw: youre actually all working on this?
HowAboutVanNogh: cant speak for the others but this is the hardest ive ever worked for anything
DAKIN_YES: @HowAboutVanNogh excluding sex
HowAboutVanNogh: @DAKIN_YES nah, somehow i think that comes a lot easier to me than it does to you, i'm irresistible
Here-come-tech-boi: @HowAboutVanNogh you wish.
kneeshaw: ive really cocked this one up, havent i
pete: there's still time, mate
pete: nothing stops you from starting now
pete: just got to make time for your work and hand it in on time, then work to improve it
kneeshaw: i love you rudge, sometime
pete: you can find an extra two-three minutes by cutting out your wank time
private chat between stu_the_dude and TEACHUSSY
TEACHUSSY: timms is really annoyed with me, isn't he?
stu_the_dude: a bit, yeah, he was
TEACHUSSY: i shouldn't have said he wouldnt get into cambridge
TEACHUSSY: it's too harsh of me to say that
stu_the_dude: with all due respect
stu_the_dude: are you wrong
stu_the_dude: are you wrong
stu_the_dude: if timms doesnt crack down he's not going to get in, that's an objective fact
stu_the_dude: and its not wrong of you to say so when thats the truth
stu_the_dude: honestly sir youre so used to lying you dont know when to tell the truth
stu_the_dude: crack the whip a bit
TEACHUSSY: still harsh
TEACHUSSY: and he knows what he's doing, so it wasn't completely warranted.
stu_the_dude: the only reason timms seems like he knows what he's doing is because he's a two-bit bullshit artist
stu_the_dude: he has no idea what hes doing
stu_the_dude: and yeah, he went on a bit of a rant, but then rudge gave him a kick up the arse, and dear christ, he needs it sometimes
TEACHUSSY: rudge did?
stu_the_dude: mainly rudge
stu_the_dude: bit of posner & scripps
stu_the_dude: general consensus, sir, is we think youre entirely justified
stu_the_dude: you were right to say it
stu_the_dude: if hes pissing about then hes wasting your time
TEACHUSSY: you all really think that?
stu_the_dude: cant speak for them verbatim, but i do and i think the others do
stu_the_dude: sir, we think youre a really good teacher
stu_the_dude: youre teaching us some really decent stuff
stu_the_dude: new ways of looking at things
stu_the_dude: things we never would have thought about
stu_the_dude: or even considered were possible, before
stu_the_dude: and to a certain extent, we admire and respect you for that
stu_the_dude: or at least, i do
TEACHUSSY: thank you
TEACHUSSY: genuinely, thank you
TEACHUSSY: means a lot
stu_the_dude: any time
TEACHUSSY: now will you tell me how to change this damn username
stu_the_dude: not on your life
private chat between scrippsy and stu_the_dude
stu_the_dude: come on scripps
stu_the_dude: im in a genuine and kind mood today
scrippsy: there are many adjectives to describe you, dakin
scrippsy: 'genuine' and 'kind' are not two of them
stu_the_dude: exceptional circumstances, ive had a good day
scrippsy: what about him
stu_the_dude: what not about him
stu_the_dude: you pine more than a garden centre in november
stu_the_dude: pining? pine trees? christmas?
stu_the_dude: okay so fuck the metaphor
stu_the_dude: you. like. posner.
scrippsy: if. i. did. it. doesnt. matter.
stu_the_dude: seriously, why?
stu_the_dude: whats the point in liking someone and doing nothing about it
stu_the_dude: slightly, ill admit
scrippsy: wait what
scrippsy: youre admitting it?
scrippsy: DONT 'SO' ME STUART DAKIN ARE YOU FINALLY ADMITTING THAT YOU WANT TO SHAG THE TEACHER
stu_the_dude: eh? ish?
stu_the_dude: im adjusting to the idea
stu_the_dude: its an interesting experience, for sure
scrippsy: stuart dakin, only you would describe having a crush on someone as an 'interesting experience' you heartless bastard
stu_the_dude: back on topic
scrippsy: fuck no were staying on this
stu_the_dude: what do you want to do about posner
scrippsy: for fucks sake, dakin, nothing
scrippsy: there's no... reciprocation
stu_the_dude: that youve seen
scrippsy: id like to think im more observant than you
stu_the_dude: "see better, lear"
stu_the_dude: look, have you asked
scrippsy: have you?
stu_the_dude: touche, but youre deflecting
scrippsy: of course i shitting havent
stu_the_dude: well then thats your first problem
scrippsy: dakin dont
stu_the_dude: you dont even know what im about to do
scrippsy: ive known you for nineteen years of course i fucking do just dont
private chat between David Posner and stu_the_dude
stu_the_dude: do you like scripps
David Posner: fuck off
private chat between scrippsy and stu_the_dude
scrippsy: i hate you
stu_the_dude: its in his head now though
stu_the_dude: and he didnt say no.
scrippsy: wait, really?
stu_the_dude: one day you'll thank me B)