The first time it happened was on one of the few lazy mornings they got to spend together. They were curled up together, legs tangled together, sweat making each movement slightly uncomfortable. Jimin was trying to meld his face in Yoongis chest, trying to make the fact that they would have to get up go away. When Yoongi asked.
Jimin frowned into Yoongis sweaty chest, he sounded concerned, a slight waver in his voice. Slowly Jimin detached his fave from Yoongis chest and blinked up at him.
His voice was gravelly when he said, "yeah hyung?"
Yoongi cheeks colored and he took a moment to clench his hand into a fist before resuming tracing circles on Jimin’s shoulder before he spoke words rushed so fast that Jimin couldn't understand.
“Could you repeat that for me?” Jimin smirked lazily, he assumed it was a sex thing. A new kink that Yoongi wanted to try; most of the time when Yoongi discovered a kink for them to try it went exceptionally well. Jimin still thanks the gods every day for Yoongi discovering spanking.
“Would you marry me?”
Jimin froze, his hearted started to speed up and he couldn't get words out of his mouth. “Uhh.”
Yoongi’s hand stopped rubbing circles on his shoulder, hands still and chest rising and falling at a alarming rate. He said, his voice wavered and Jimin’s heart clenched. “I know that we can’t, even besides being idols, and that we probably won’t be able to even be out for years and maybe ever but-“
Yoongi cut himself off, he rubbed at his eyes, exhaustion radiating from him. He sighed deeply before continuing. “I just, I want you to know that I see us as permanent. And if someday we could ever, I would marry you.”
Jimin was full on crying now, this- Yoongi proposing-was something that he had foolishly thought of before. Had dreamed about, knowing that it would likely never happen, that something would either tear them apart. Or that the world simply would never let them. So he had never brought it up.
Yoongi’s eyes and jaw were clenched shut, like he was waiting for a rejection, like Jimin could ever do anything but be in love with this man.
“Yes! Yes, yes, of course Yoongi.” Jimin pushed himself up to cradle Yoongi’s face between his hands, his finger tips grazed the top of Yoongi’s eyes before he started to kiss ever inch of Yoongi’s face. Yoongi didn’t open his eyes but grinned his gummy smile at Jimin.
Eventually, Jimin was kissing away tears, he didn’t ask if they were from him or Yoongi. He just let himself be in the arms of the man he loved and dream about a future.
The second time it happened was after Jimin and Seokjin had just returned from the store, bags of take-out in hand. Jin dumped the bags on the counter as Jimin was pestering him about how they should have gotten two of hyungs favorite deserts, his pestering lacked force though as the food budget wasn't big for this month and they had a comeback coming up soon. So Jimin couldn't really afford to eat all of the food that he wanted to, but that didn't mean that he couldn't try and force some food into Yoongi though.
Any time they prep for a comeback they all have to lose weight, its a part of the idol package, a mildly painful part but one the entire group does with frowns and grumbles but with understanding. Their looks are important, and Jimin gets it he really does, but Yoongi always loses the most weight. And not from dieting, he loses most from spending all of his time in his studio, not sleeping eating or doing anything that humans need to do to survive. Jimin knows that it's important for Yoongi to do all he did and that he was a major part of their music production. But that didn't stop him from worrying about how he was doing in the months leading up to a comeback, it was healthy. So he had made sure to all of Yoongi’s favorites when Jin when at the store, for a nice treat before going back to their diets.
When Seokjin and Jimin started to unpack the bags the rest of the members slowly started to exit their rooms, drawn in by the smell of food. Jeongguk and Namjoon entered first, Jeongguk still wiping the sleep out of his eyes even though it was already noon. Jimin grinned as Namjoon walked over and pressed a kiss to Seokjin’s forehead, leaving Seokjin smiling, and slouched down on the counter to search through the boxes of take-out food. Jeongguk reached for the boxes that Jimin had hoarded next to him, Jimin swatted at his hands and clutched the boxes closer to him, the heat warming his chest.
Jeongguk pouted and reached for them again, Jimin leaned back and said. “These are for hyung and I."
Jeongguk poured but knew that there was no way that Jimin was going to give up the food if it was Yoongi, so he with a resigned sigh he joined Namjoon in searching through the boxes. After a minute Seokjin got tired of them opening and closing the boxes, spilling food every time they did and slapped their hands away and found them two dishes. Namjoon grinned, dimples showing and look surprisingly charming for a moment before shoving his mouth full of his noodle dish. While Namjoon and Jeongguk inhaled their food Jimin checked his phone looking for a message from Yoongi.
He had texted him that he was coming back with food fifteen minutes ago but there was no response for Yoongi. Jimin frowned and kicked Namjoon in the shin. Without looking up Jimin asked, pouting the whole time. “Is Yoongi hyping at his studio?”
Namjoon winced and reached down to rub at his shin, some noodles falling out of his mouth as he spoke. “Ummm, he was but when I came back he said he would come back soon."
Namjoon shrugged and returned to shoving his face full of food, uncaring about Jimins predicament. They all know that with Yoongi soon could mean hours, Jimin nodded and frowned looking down at the boxes of food, and debated whether or not to eat his food or wait for Yoongi. The food smelled so good, he had made sure to get Yoongi and his favorites for a mini date night. Jimin couldn't eat with out his fiance.
With a sigh Jimin heaved himself off of the stool, as soon as he stood up Taehyung slid into his spot with a grin and a short slap to his ass.
Taehyung leaned over and glanced down at the phone in Jimin’s hand. He said, “so Yoongi hyung isn't responding to you?”
When Jeongguk leaned over to look, Taehyung shoved his mouth full of the meat that Jeongguk was eating and then joined in looking at Jimin’s phone. He said, between bites of food. “Just go to his studio before I eat it.”
Jimin sighed and nodded, even though the trek to their training building would take ten to fifteen minutes it would be worth it to be alone with Yoongi. As while as the fact Yoongis studio held so many memories, some absolutely filthily, and that Jimin was in the mood to relive. So he slide his coat on and swept the boxes of food into a bag, batting away Taheyung and Jeongguks hands and headed out.
- - -
It was a warm fall night, Jimin barely even needed his coat. But it was his and Yoongis shared coat so he buried his face into the collar and breathed deep. He knew it was silly to be so grossly in love but the last time they had had a night alone together. Had been when Yoongi proposed. So as a recently, secretly but none the less engaged man Jimin though he had the right to be disgustingly in love.
At least that was his rationalization when he made it into the building and found it empty beside his sleep fiancé. Jimin carefully put down the bag of food, he was hungry as hell and was debating whether it would better for Yoongi to eat or sleep. He tried to remember the last full night of sleep Yoongi had gotten and the best he could come up with was a week ago. But the last time he could remember Yoongi eating a actual meal had been yesterday, a decision made Jimin generally removed Yoongis headphones and stopped the song that was on repeat on the computer.
Jimin spun Yoongis chair around and struggled to wrap his arms around his fiancé. His master plan was to carry Yoongi over to the couch and wake him up with kisses and piping hot food. What actually happened was that he got his arms wrapped around Yoongis waist and lifted him a foot off his chair before he slipped and Jimin had to hastily readjust and end up with his arms wrapped far too tightly around a Yoongis throat.
So he romantically woke up his fiancé of two weeks in a head lock and with cold food. Yoongi blinked up at him and raised a sleep eye brow before hitting Jimins arm with enough force to remind him to let go. So then Jimin romantically dropped his fiancé on his ass half asleep. Jimin was totally fiancé goals.
"What the fuck?" Yoongi said fists rubbing at his eyes, his mouth turned down in a frown and eye brows knotting together before he noticed that it was just Jimin not a intruder or one of the other boys.
"Yoongi hyung!" Jimin almost shouted, arm darting back to grab the food bag. He lurched the bag at Yoongi, almost hitting him in the face causing another internal wince on Jimins end. "I, umm, brought food?"
Yoongi took the bag and peered into it, Jimin started blabbering. "It's all your favorites hyung!"
Jimin was hoping they could ignore the choke hold awaking but then Yoongi looked up at him, eyes still clouded with sleep, bangs falling into his eyes. He said, voice still gravelly from sleep in a way that never failed to do things to Jimins stomach. "Thanks baby, but I don't remember to consenting to be choked."
Jimin blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It was accident hyung, I was trying to carry you to the couch and you uhhh." Jimin gestured with his arms, pantomiming Yoongis limp form, "fell so I had to catch you but uhh."
Jimin stopped when he saw Yoongis smile, it was small. It wasn't his wildly happy smile or exuberant smile, it was his Park Jimin smile. It made his eyes disappear into cresents, cheeks pink just slightly and lips pull back into the softest expression Jimin had ever seen on anybody-and Jimin didn't think that because he was biased, it was just a fact. It was a smile of complete love that made Jimins stomach clench and his own face copy. Jimin always felt dumb remembering how he had denied its existence.
Jimin hadn't learned about the smile until Hoseok told him, it had been before they got together and one of the main reason they did actually get their shit together long enough to get together. It was when he was constantly searching for signs that he meant something to Yoongi. That his grumpy hyung cared for him in the same way he cared for him. Jimin had laughed off what Hoseok said, it was probably just Hoseok teasing him about his "crush." Not knowing that the cruel joke of him meaning something so important to Yoongi almost made him cry. Of course, Hoseok was completely right, it was just Jimins disbelief that had kept him from realizing Yoongis love for him.
Jimin was too busy thinking to notice what Yoongi said, eyes trained on his mouth in a way that obviously suggested an invitation. One that Yoongi took, leaning forward to press their lips together, his free hand that wasn't in the bag of food reaching around to grip the back of Jimins head. His hands gently tugging at his hair as he slowly worked Jimin lips apart with his tongue.
Jimin blushed and hid his face in Yoongis shirt, it smelt like old sweat, ramen and a smell that was just undeniably Yoongi. He wanted to be enveloped in it, wanted to wrap himself up in Yoongi, curl between his ribs and just sleep. His stomach rumbled, Yoongi huffed a laugh against Jimins hair and pulled back. "You hungry?"
"Yeah," Jimin leaned over and grabbed a box that he was pretty sure that had his favorite dish. He pulled himself off of Yoongis lap, gesturing to the rest and sat so close to Yoongi that he was almost on top of him, pressed shoulder to shoulder. "I got your favorites."
Yoongi grinned and pressed a kiss to Jimins cheek. He looked tired, Jimin could see the sleepless nights and the stress of everything in the dark circles under his eyes and the way his hair stuck up on the back of his head when he ran his hands through it. Sleepy Yoongi made Jimins heart melt, sleepy Yoongi was a touch starved kitten that just needed cuddles and food. Both of which Jimin loved to give but sleepy Yoongi and sleep deprived Yoongi was different. Sleep deprived Yoongi didn't make Jimin smile and just think /cute/, but made his heart hurt and guilt thrum in his fingertips.
Yoongi hummed having found the chopsticks while Jimin was spacing out. He handed Jimin two and set about eating his food, Jimin could practically hear Yoongis stomach growling as Yoongi took his first bite. His eyes closed and a small sigh escaped his lips as he chewed. Jimin get a little strange watching his fiancé eat, /fiancé!/ But he knew that Yoongi loved watching him eat just as much, when someone diet as often and had to deal with a lack of food like they had, it made sense to have a bit of a food kink.
Jimin made himself turn away and start eating his own food. It was good, even better after the long day he had had. As he sat side by side with Yoongi enjoying the food and the heat of Yoongis body, Jimin felt a smile creep onto his face. This was what he wanted, what he going to have, for the rest of his life. Even through all the hardships they had had, and all the ones they would go through, Jimin had never wanted someone else. And knowing that Yoongi felt the same, that he could see them together in five years, ten, twenty, fifty. Made Jimin feel safer and more cared for than he could remember in a long time.
Apparently Yoongi felt the same, or was feeling something similar, because he turned. He knocked their knees together, and spilled some sauce on his shirt before gently putting his hand on Jimins chin. He pressed his words onto Jimins lips,"god."
His lips were chapped,"will."
Jimin tongue flicked out to wet them, "you."
Yoongi bit at his tongue, teeth catching Jimins lower lip,"marry me?"
Jimin leaned into Yoongi, their legs pressed together, lips and tongues almost too harsh.
"Of course I will."
Their grins collided, and Jimin could taste their meal in Yoongis mouth, he felt like flying as he straddled Yoongi. Food forgotten they kissed until Jimin lips were raw and bruised.
The third time it happened was in the practice room. Yoongi couldn't get the dance. That much Jimin could tell from where he was in the choero, he could see Yoongi’s miss steps and beat too slow movements. He could see the frown lines between his eyes and the way his chest was heaving. Of course Namjoon was having just as much trouble but Hoseok was already helping him and had been helping for the last hour.
After Jimin finished his own run through he walked over to where Yoongi had started running through the choreo again, with out a break.
"Hyung?" Jimin gently asked, hands hovering a inch above where Yoongis arm was outstretched.
Yoongi looked up at him and huffed, he lowered his arm and frown lines between his eyes became softer. "Yeah Jimin?"
"Lets take a break okay? And then I can run through the choreo with you, sound good?" Jimin said.
Yoongi nodded and ran his hand through his hair, "sounds good Jiminnie."
Jimin grinned and walked over to his water bottle and tossed off his shirt, and no that was definitely not a diversion tactic to get Yoongi to relax. Yoongi followed him, and slowly lowered himself to the ground with a groan and a swear directed at his chair bound muscles. He gratefully accepted the water bottle from Jimin, though not before grimacing and wiping the spout of the water bottle.
Jimin grinned leaned into him. They stayed like that for ten minutes, they just watched the other members work their way through the choero. In some cases it was flawless, Hoseok looked like he born to do this dance and Jeongguk would certainly break a few hearts this comeback. Seokjin and Namjoon both struggled but didn't seem bothered by it, and Namjoon insisted that he knew the choero better than Seokjin. He was trying to show Seokjin how to do a move by not so smoothly running his hands all over Seokjin sides.
"Yuck Namjoon," Taehyung yelled from the opposite side of the practice room, where he was sprawled on the ground. "Stop feeling him up already!"
Namjoon blushed but grinned, hands sliding down to squeeze Seokjins ass.
Jimin chuckled, Joengguk and Taehyung wrinkled their noses and Taehyung pretended to gag. Yoongi just started snoring next to him. Jimin looked up and sure enough, Yoongi was fast asleep, head slowly falling forward.
Jimin carefully pulled his sweat-soaked arm off of Yoongi and carefully pushed him over. Yoongi landed with a thud on the ground and squirmed before accepting this change in orientation and started to snore again.
Jimin slowly stood up and walked over to where he had tossed his sweatshirt. He picked it up and lightly jogged over to where Yoongi was passed out on the ground and, no contrary to what Taehyung catcalled at him, he did not prance over to his sleeping prince charming. He picked up Yoongi’s head and balled up the sweatshirt under neither before lowering Yoongi’s head to the ground.
Yoongi twitched and then relaxed into his new pillow. He was confident that Yoongi was fast asleep when he turned to go back to practice, so when Yoongi’s hand darted out like the fucking exorcist, Jimin thought he was totally fair in squealing slash screaming.
Yoongi blinked at him owlishly from the ground and started to tug at Jimin’s pant leg. He knelt down next to his fiance and put his face right up next to Yoongi’s and took a moment to thank the gods for doing such a fine job on the man in front of him, he was truly blessed to engaged to him.
Yoongi yawned right in Jimin’s face and then turned back into Jimin’s sweatshirt. HE nuzzled his face into the fabric, he said voice to clouded with sleep and Jimin’s sweatshirt that Jimin could barely hear him. “What about the-”
He cut himself off with a slight movement of his right arm. Jimin had to hold himself back from cooing. “Don’t worry I’ll go through it with you later.”
Yoongi nodded, sighed and closed his eyes. “We really need to get married.”
He fell asleep before Jimin could respond, he just blushed and kissed Yoongi’s forehead. He heard Taehyung and Hoseok giggle in the background but just ignored them and went back to the cheoro. He needed to make sure that he could show Yoongi it later.
Jimin started the next dance sequence with a small and love grin on his face.
Jimin could feel exhaustion lurking in his bones; the screams of the crowd and their chants kept it locked down, kept him moving through the pain and ache in his muscles. Sweat slid down his back, his eyeshadow was smudged and his chest was heaving beneath his dress shirt.
They had done it, after months of preparing they had finally done their comeback stage for their new album. No matter how many times he performed or how many times they had comebacks, nothing was quite like this. Nothing got his blood flowing quite as much as seeing people scream his name. To see how he had affected them. To feel his friends, his family, right next to him struggling to catch their breath. Smiles caught on all of their faces, sweat ruining their make-up.
All of the struggles of being idols was worth this. The freedom and pumping of his blood, every inch of him feeling alive. The brief flash before they had to be hurried off stage, Jimin savored it. He had already sent the camera enough smolder looks for the stage edit so Jimin turned his attention to the crowd. He could see fan signs for all of the members, in one of the first rows he thought he saw a girl crying while jumping up and down screaming their fan chants. It was perfect, everything in this moment was perfect. It was all he had ever wanted. Jimin glanced over to where he knew Yoongi was standing, Jimin couldn’t think of perfect without thinking of him. Yoongi wasn’t perfect, they were far from perfect, but they-and this dream was sometimes more than Jimin thought he deserved.
Yoongi was a few steps away to his right, chest heaving and sweat dripping down his face. And Jimin wanted to leap at him. To have Yoongi catch him in his arms and just hold him. Jimin couldn’t help the grin he sent him and the smile that Yoongi gave back made Jimin’s heart beat even faster.
Jimin averted his eyes back to the crowd and made sure to grin even bigger. Eventually, the lights dimmed and they had to leave the stage.
As soon as they were clear of the camera, everyone exploded. Hoseok and Taehyung screaming in his ears, Jungkook was bouncing and grinning, Namjoon was gripping Seokjin’s hand and was sporting a satisfied smile. Jimin ducked past Taehyung wildly gesturing arms and grabbed Yoongi’s shoulders. His eyes gleamed in the light and his hands automatically landed on Jimin’s waist. His hands caught on Jimin’s belt loops and pulled him closer. Their chest bumped together and Yoongi pressed his forehead to Jimin’s.
They stood there, the chaos of the other members and staff bustling around them. Jimin draped his arms around Yoongi’s neck and breathed Yoongi in. This moment was perfect, Jimin was surrounded by people he loved, held in the arms of fiance and could still feel the adrenaline from performing thrumming in his veins.
“Marry me Yoongi?” Jimin said, his lips brushed against Yoongi’s neck.
“I think I’ve already said yes to that Jimin,” He leaned down and caught Jimin’s lips with his own. Eventually, he leaned back, his lips wet from their spit and glistening. “I will always say yes to you Jimin.”