Is it really so wrong to want to be loved? All her life it’s the one thing she’d craved but never felt it, at least not from anyone other than her grandparents. Yes they loved her, she knew that. But now, in ever decreasing spiral of darkness she tries to call a life she can barely remember what that love had felt like. Her parents didn’t show her love, hardly surprising since it had always been evident that she had never been wanted. People had come and gone in her life, one or two had said they loved her but she didn’t feel it, some people use those three little words when they think they can get something they want from you, when they get what they want they just up and leave or toss you aside like trash. Allie Novak knows this all too well, but that craving to turn her life around a find the love she craved so deeply was eating away at her. “Who could ever love you?,” she thinks to herself. “Look at yourself, damaged, drug fucked goods, that’s all I am” a single tear falling down her cheek. Shaking her head to try and clear her thoughts she drags herself up from the step she was sitting on, turning around to look at her reflection in a store window, her reflection brings the tears to well up in her eyes and now she cannot stop them from escaping.
Why had she done this to herself again? Yes Allie had gotten clean and off the streets, but it had all felt too hard. She knew she had fucked up, Kaz had found her one night badly beaten huddled in a shop doorway, half off her face. She had taken her in, helped her get clean, given her a warm place to stay. That was six months ago, and now look at her, right back where she started from, all because she couldn’t believe that someone could actually care for her. Kaz had been like a mum to her and she had repaid her by throwing it all back in her face, doing a runner and straight back into the life she knew too well, “your just a junkie, a dirty street whore,” she said to herself. Heading off into the night to find her next customer and her next fix Allie had no idea that Kaz was looking for her, but Allie knew the city well enough to not be found if she didn’t want to be.
Kaz had spent two weeks looking for Allie, two weeks of sleeping a little during the day and spending most of the evening and all night looking, but she hadn’t found a trace of her. Everyone she spoke to and showed Allie’s picture to had said they hadn’t seen her, although she did get the feeling that some of them knew Allie and just didn’t want to say anything. Getting home just as the sun was coming up Kaz realised that she wasn’t going to find her on her own, she needed help. She put some coffee on to brew and turned her attention to her laptop, the police wouldn’t help, as far as they were concerned she had left of her own free will, she was an adult, and because of her past they had no interest in helping. Searching for private investigators and finding a couple local to her she looked at the first website, they mainly seemed to concentrate on tracing missing people online, no use to her, it’s not like Allie would be using any social media out there on the streets, she even left her phone behind when she left. Heading back to the kitchen grab a mug of coffee she stared out of the window, “oh Allie,” she said to herself shaking her head before returning to her laptop to check the next website.
This seemed much more promising, taking a note of the address as it wasn’t too far from where she lived, she decided to visit the office instead of calling. Draining the last of the coffee from the mug she she headed to bed for a few hours of much needed sleep.
Waking up with a start Kaz looked at the clock, 10:30am, she groaned and sat up. Heading back downstairs to the kitchen for more coffee before deciding that a shower and a change of clothes would be more appropriate than just heading over to the office of Wentworth Investigations. After a quick shower and clothes change she headed out, hoping that she could get some help. The office was only a 10 minute drive from her house, pulling up into the parking lot outside the office Kaz was hopeful, but didn’t want to get her hopes up too high, maybe they wouldn’t want to help, not when they found out who she wanted them to look for. She got out of the car and headed to the door, pausing for a moment before she entered.
Entering the office she scanned the small reception area, seeing an older blond woman sitting behind a desk, a couple of half glazed doors behind her to the right, a wooden door to the left and a couple of battered but comfortable looking chairs up against the wall.
“Good morning, I’m Liz, how can I help you today.”
“I’m hoping you can help me trace a missing person,” Kaz sighed
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Liz responded, getting up from her chair, “if you’d like to take a seat I’ll get someone to see you as soon as they can.”
Liz approached one of the half glazed doors and tapped on it gently before entering.
“I’m telling you Franky I’m not interested, stop trying to set me up with your friends for gods sake”
“Oh come on Red, live a little will ya?”
Liz cleared her throat,
“Bea, there’s a woman in reception looking for a missing person”
“Well what do you know, someone has saved me from Franky, sure Liz send her in, and Franky, get back to work!”
Franky stuck her tongue out and rose from the chair she had been sitting in.
“Anything you say boss,” she said with a smirk and left Beas office.
“Shall I send her through now Bea?”
“Please Liz, and if you wouldn’t mind keep an eye on Franky will you?”
“Sure thing love”
Liz leaves Beas office and heads back to Kaz,
“Bea can see you now, before you go in would you like a coffee?”
“Please, black, no sugar”
“No problem, I’ll bring it in in just a second, go straight in.”
Pointing to the door she had just exited.
Kaz approached the door not knowing what or who to expect, all she knew was that Allie had to be found, even if she didn’t want to come back she had to know if she was still around. Opening the door she is greeted by Bea as she is getting up from her chair.
“ Hi, I’m Bea, Liz said you were looking for a missing person”
“Yes, that’s right”
Bea extended her arm to shake Kaz’s hand before offering her a seat. Bea returns to her chair just as Liz comes back with coffee.
“There you go, black no sugar, and I made you one Bea, thought you might be needing it what with Franky and everything.”
“Thanks Liz, you know me so well.”
Liz leaves and Bea turns her attention to Kaz, looking her up and down.
“Hey, sorry I’m Kaz, Karen Proctor, but everyone just calls me Kaz.”
“So, a missing person, I’m assuming that the police are unwilling to help.”
Kaz tells Bea about Allie, about how she found her six months ago, helping her get clean and giving her a place to stay. Then sh tells her about her just walking out one day and she hasn’t seen or heard from her since.
“I don’t have a problem looking for her, do you have a photo?”
“Yes, I have brought a couple with me”
Bea looks at the photos, “why is this young woman out there alone?” She thinks to herself.
“We’ll make a start on looking for her today, if you could just give me a few more details, but I do have to warn you that she may not want to come home?”
“Yes I understand that, I just need to know if she’s ok, you know, I kinda miss her to be honest”
After giving Bea the relevant details, age, height etc Kaz leaves the office a little more hopeful than she had entered it, even if Allie didn’t want to go home she needed to know that she was ok, and for her to know that if she ever needed anything she would always be there for her.