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Emotions Are The Death of Me

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Spock walked towards his mother, Amanda in a sweater she knitted for his birthday. Amanda already have the itching feeling about her son. Spock stopped in front of his mother. He wouldn't show his anxiety to anyone but his hand lightly toyed his sweater sleeve. Amanda started to fix his sweater to help clam his nerves that she knows he is having. She knew her son have a little trouble all these years with his human emotions. Today would be the day he would hear from the Vulcan Science Council of his entrance to the Vulcan Science Academy. Amanda's hands went towards his collar to fix his sweater. Spock's hands met his mother's. He asked, "May I ask a personal inquiry?"

Amanda already feels the question that is going to be asked. She smiled, "Anything."

Spock took in a breath before asking, "Have you heard from T'Saraphina?"

Amanda lightly squeezed her son's hands, "This morning. She is adjusting to Earth as well as her schooling. She said it is different than what she dealt with here on Vulcan."

Spock gave a light nod, "Of course it is. Human intellect is quite different from Vulcan."

Amanda gave a soft smile to her son while agreeing, "That may be true but you both are half human."

Spock answered, "That may be so but..."

Amanda lifted her son's chin. He looked into her eyes. She could see the light anxiety. Amanda gave her son a reassuring smile, "She will be fine. She is in the dorms under constant watch."

Spock found that hard to believe. He knew of the woman who is studying her academics. And it isn't what his mother thinks.


I grabbed the shot glass bringing it to my lips. I laughed, " I told you I cannot get drunk!"

A red head female sporting a red dress wagged her finger in my face, "You are lying! You are capable of getting drunk."

I waved my hand at the bartender for another, "I am telling you, Annette, that I do not get drunk. I get drunk with something that isn't even a thought to humans."

Annette eyed my person as I shot back down another shot of whiskey. Annette groaned, "Fine. I will figure out a way to get you drunk. I promise you."

I smiled leaning into the counter top. My chin resting on the palm of my hand. My eyes glistened at her determination, "I like to see you try."

I turned my attention to the bartender. I asked, " Can I have a glass of water, please?"

The bartender nodded and grabbed my used shot glass. Annette scanned the crowd, "So what's it like you know being a part of an alien race and all?"

My angled brows knitted together. I thanked the bartender for the glass of water before answering Annette, "Your question isn't logical."

Annette rolled her eyes, " I mean you are a Vulcan on Earth in the academy. Not many of you are here."

I sipped my water then answered, "I'm only half Vulcan but Vulcan nonetheless. Also why didn't you ask that in the beginning instead of going through this useless loop of trying to figure out what you mean. I asked you many times before and I'm asking again when asking a question... Be logical and clear on it, please."

My friend, Annette, always had the problem to be clear and come up with an actual question with logic. It drives me insane. I gave her the answer she wanted, "It's not that different. I just do not have to deal with my older brother being protective here. He is still on Vulcan and should be enrolling into the Vulcan Science Academy."

I stared down at my glass of water, "Well I hope he gets accepted. You see Vulcans aren't that forgiving on hybrids. We didn't have the best childhood."

Annette brought a hand up to finger through my locks. She spoke sullenly, "Is that why you keep your hair short?"

I ran a hand through my black hair. My fringe messed up and lifted up a little. I sighed, "Vulcan children weren't forgiving. Mother wanted my hair long but Vulcan children tend to do things that isn't acceptable."

Annette twirled her straw around her drink, "Sooo you have a brother, right?"

I eyed her, "Yes I do as I mentioned not even five minutes ago."

Annette's lips turned upward, "Do you uh mind if you introduce me to him?"

I couldn't help but snort, "He wouldn't be on Earth. His place isn't here. Like I said he would be accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy."

I always keep telling myself that as the date of the council to see him comes closer. He would get into the academy like he always wanted. He never did tell what his back up plan if he doesn't. I cannot imagine what is going through his Vulcan mind. Especially if the head council look into his human side as a disadvantage.


Spock stared at the council as they shuffled his paperwork in front of them. The head of the council spoke, "Spock, your final record is flawless. With one exception, I see you have applied to Star Fleet as well."

Spock answered, "It was logical to call for multiple options."

The head spoke again, "Logical but unnecessary. You are hereby accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy. It is truly remarkable that you have achieved so much despite your disadvantage."

The head Vulcan stared down Spock as to analyze his human side. The head spoke once more, "All rise."

The Vulcans on the high council rose including Sarek. Spock questioned, "If you would clarify to what disadvantage were you referring?"

The head council spoke, "Your human mother."

Sarek looked at his son in hopes he makes the correct choice. Spock spoke, "Council, Ministers I must decline."

The head council spoke flabbergasted, " No Vulcan has ever declined admission to this academy."

Spock spoke, "That is I am half human then your record remain untarnished."

Sarek spoke which brought Spock's attention towards his father, "Spock you have made a commitment to follow the Vulcan way."

The head council questioned, "Why did you come before the council today? Was it to satisfy your emotional need to rebel?"

Spock answered, "The only emotion I need to convey is gratitude. Thank you Ministers for your consideration. Live Long and Prosper."

The hybrid Vulcan turned his heel leaving the head council and his father. Once outside away from the prying eyes of the council, Spock brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose pinching it. Spock removed his hand and continued the trek home to speak with his mother. There is a lot to discuss.


A body sat down next to me. A loud sigh came from their lips. I glanced beside me and noticed it is Kiera. I smiled, "There you are, Kiera."

Kiera Mannchester smiled, "I just got caught up sorry I couldn't join fast enough."

Annette whipped her head around me and pouted, "That is such a lie. You were studying, weren't you?"

Kiera chuckled, "On the bus, yes. Exams come up soon."

I let out a loud sigh, "I don't want to remember those days."

She eyed my ears then my face, "Aren't you supposed to like this stuff?"

I tilted my head side to side, "It's a love-hate relationship. I embrace both sides of me equally. Sure the human emotions fight with the Vulcan way but you just have to embrace it. Embrace yourself."

Annette scrunched up her nose, "Don't you talk about that hippy bullshit."

I turned my head towards her with a raised eyebrow, "I'm not a hippy, excuse you. I'm a Vulcan with very conflicting emotions."

The blond grabbed a menu and mumbled, "Sounds like you have an emotional disability."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and calmly state, "I do not have an emotional disability. You two wouldn't understand. I'm going outside to find Pike."

Annette and Uhura teased, "Go be a good girl, teacher pet."

I pushed myself off the stool. No one understands the conflict that I endure. If Spock was here, I am sure he would tell me to purge all emotion and become a full Vulcan. I can't. I simply cannot not love mother and father or even him. I cannot not see reason between heart and mind. It is not logical. Well it may be logical to a full-blooded Vulcan... I am not full-blooded Vulcan no matter how much I pretend to be. I didn't look up while I was walking even when I bumped into some cadets and some locals. I need to get away from people. It is suffocating.