Gentle humming filled the house as you danced around, cleaning up the mess that was created last night. A bit of an outburst had happened, but it was no big deal. You had a pleasant smile on your face as the morning sunlight filtered in and the events that had went down were nothing more than an old memory.
The man who had just exited the room you both shared however, still had everything clearly in mind. He was a bit shocked at how you casually moved around, seeming so cheerful despite it all. It was odd to him how you could never hold any hard feelings when situations like this happened. You were just so positive. It was something incomprehensible to him.
As he stood composing his thoughts, you had turned around with that smile of yours that always seemed to calm down his racing mind. “Good morning, Jin. I hope you’re feeling better.”
Your words were so sweet to him. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand you. You were always so kind and compassionate with him. It made zero sense in his mind, he didn’t even feel deserving of such treatment.
He was fully at a loss for words, but it didn’t bother you. You lightly took his hand and led him into the kitchen, taking note of his other gripping tightly onto that familiar piece of fabric that was practically ingrained into your brain by now. It had only been away from his grasp for just a bit last night, but it was enough to panic to set in. But you understood his condition, and felt his reaction was to be expected. He disagreed. He felt as though he caused nothing but a huge mess for you.
Yet you didn’t show a single sign of having any issues as you got him to sit down and you placed a plate down in front of him. Planting a quick kiss on his forehead, you moved back to continue cleaning up the wreckage.
For a few minutes it was silent aside from your humming that you had returned to doing. Though those few minutes clawed deeply at Twice, and a dull pain throbbed at his skull.
“How’s your breakfast? I just finished making it before you got up so I hope it’s still warm!”
Your voice pulled him back into reality, but he was fumbling for words.
You brushed off the harsher statement, knowing it wasn’t his actual thoughts. “I’m glad you like it! Maybe I could make more if you want?”
“Oh -- sure.”
“Forget it. Your cooking is awful.”
Peaking your head into the room, a little bit of worry crossing your mind, “Jin? Are you alright?”
He glanced up, the look in his eyes telling you all that was needed to know. Yet his words still betrayed that, not wanting to cause you any more pain than he felt he already has. “Yeah, I’m perfectly fine.”
“Of course not. Dumbass.”
You walked up to him, wrapping your arms around him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to lie. I’m here for you, alright?”
“Everything is fine. I’m fine. I’m me.”
The pain in his skull has amplified. It was aching. Throbbing. Splitting.
Splitting. That was it. He was splitting again. It was happening. But he couldn’t -
His mask wasn’t in his hand and his eyes turned fearful as he reached around wildly for it. Panic rushed through his mind as he attempted to figure out where it was through the splitting feeling. What must have only been a few seconds felt like an eternity of terror before the familiar, comforting fabric was brought down over his face.
He hadn’t even noticed you letting go of him to get a hold of the mask that had fallen out of his hand. It still wasn’t processing in his head fully as he slowly calmed down from his dread. All he knew was it was on his face and your arms were wrapped back around him in a relaxing embrace.
“It’s alright. You’re you.”
Your voice barely registered in his ears and it took a minute or two for it to truly sink in. But it was comforting. To hear that from you.
He may have it said himself just a few minutes prior, but it was hard to tell if he genuinely believed it. Really, what reason did he have to? And for someone else to say it, to believe it, was a thought he couldn’t even comprehend. Why would you?
“You’re you. And I love you.”
It didn’t make sense.
Why did you love him?
In his opinion, he never gave you a reason to. He was a mess, and all he did was create trouble for you. Not to mention how he lived his life. So why did you love him…?
Nothing made sense to him. His thoughts were jumbled chaos, and all he could do was return the embrace you had him in, tears running down his face underneath his mask.
He was glad you couldn’t see it. Though it was very obvious when through his cluttered musings he mumbled something back to you.
“I -- I love you too.”
It was true. Even if he couldn’t even begin to fathom why you felt for him the way you do, it was impossible for him to deny that he felt the same way.
And in moments like this, with you in his arms, at peace, it seemed like maybe something good could actually happen in the future.
He did have you with him after all.