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he's divine and maybe i was too in love

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yuta loves and craves dearly for the warmth that is by his side. the adoring looks that sicheng gives and how the male’s eyes are filled with gleam and hope; they remind him of this one constellation his mother used to point out to him back in their little house in osaka and it easily became yuta’s favourite, just like how sicheng’s eyes are the prettiest eyes he has seen like that very constellation he adores of. the younger looks at him fondly and the warm eye contact made, amidst the dark room with a small night light shining rather dimly in the corner, is enough to speak of its own. i love you.


if that isn’t all, the electrifying touch with each soft, gentle brushing of yuta’s fingertips against the younger’s skin would be all to compensate the lack of words. it comforts them both. yuta, for the fact that such gentle physical touch means the other male is here with him and for sicheng, the comfort of such gestures offers him not only a sense of security from the older male but also love, in its own way.


yuta’s usually clumsy with his actions, sometimes a little too rough when handling sicheng (and especially when the younger male didn’t ask for him so). often times, yuta hooks his arms around sicheng’s neck, pulling him close and roughly and while sicheng wasn’t the most confident person when it comes to direct physical contact with yuta in public, it’s clear he sometimes don’t appreciate yuta’s ‘mishandling’ him. but yuta makes up for it with often far too many times with yuta’s gentleness when the two of them are alone. more so, the fumbling of their fingers when yuta tries to reach out to hold the younger’s hand or vice-versa or the carefree brushing of the back of each other’s hands while laughing away at the jokes made by fellow friends around them and when no one seems to be focusing their attention on the two.


the kisses. oh, the kisses. while the kisses yuta gives are often rough. aggressive and sometimes impatient whereby it involves a lot of tongue actions, lip biting and trailing saliva when they’re done; whereas sicheng’s are soft. shy, even but they’re long enough for the kiss to linger on and for yuta to remember the sensation of it in the back of his head until the next time sicheng kisses him slow and tender.


while they seem to be like the opposites of each other; like ying and yang, like water and fire, like yuta and sicheng; but in a way, they manage to fit well as a duo despite the differences. by first impression, sicheng wouldn’t like a guy like nakamoto yuta. he’s loud and rough and nosy and boisterous and he’s just.. very yuta. and sicheng’s the polar opposite; someone who is quiet and shy and minds his own business, someone who didn’t want to be involved with someone like yuta who is loud and obnoxious. but the traits that yuta has are the ones that sicheng came to love and appreciate. if the older male had not been nosy; putting his nose down to sicheng’s business that one time sicheng had a mental breakdown, then sicheng might not have learnt the good qualities the older male had; like how caring yuta could be or how sentimental and tender the older male gets when sicheng confesses his ups and downs. and in a way, sicheng learns to love someone of such qualities.


sicheng often has bad nights. waking up in cold sweats were a norm to him. and so were medications and insomnias. but ever since he met and loved yuta, the nights get easier. not that the bad nights are gone entirely but when sicheng wakes up in cold sweat, yuta assures him that he’s here despite how tired the older male could be but the gentle stroke of the older male’s palm against his back tells sicheng that he’s here and it lessens the nights sicheng has nightmares of. it gets even better that he no longer relies on his medication as heavily as he used to when yuta lures him to sleep with gentle affection and a chinese lullaby he had learned especially for sicheng.


when the world feels like it’s always against yuta and sicheng in some sort of ways, the two of them got each other and nothing else matters. not when the electricity is out in early winter days because the two of them will huddle together in sheets of blanket and warm cocoa while trying to guess what the other smell like, or not when it’s raining and one of them catches a cold and the other has to nurse the sick one with kisses ensues (only for the ‘nurse’ to catch a cold and collectively repeats the cycle), and not even when they get into unnecessary fights with each other because there are days where your shoulder feels heavy but your thoughts are heavier and one just gets extremely tired of such monotonous and dreading lifestyle that they throw their tantrum on the other. yuta and sicheng made up; bringing their ‘fights’ elsewhere and by the end of the day, yuta presses more kisses to sicheng’s crown and forehead while reassuring the other that he’d be alright. that they will be fine. and in exchange, sicheng promises that they’ll be happier. even for the lack of reasons, if it’s with yuta. if they got each other. everything will be alright.