Oh shit my head hurts...
Hekapoo slowly woke up, laying on her left side, hungover to hell and back. As usual, after a night of bad choices, the hangover was too intense for her to focus on much, or anything, else. So she sat there for a while, collecting her composure and trying to ignore the pain.
The Magic High Commission is gonna give me so much shit for this... Rhombus is gonna have a field day.
Why'd I go out anyway? We've been chasing Toffee...
Right then, all the events of the previous night came back to her. Of course, she had been drinking, they had finally beaten Toffee! After ten years, sheesh. ten years wasn't as long to Hekapoo as it was most life forms, but still. They had been an incredibly grueling ten years, at that.
They had all gone out to celebrate, Her, the Magic High Commission, the Old Queen Moon, Star, Marco, and even that other Earth Girl named Jackie, who had helped after she, as Star put it, "Took a level in badass". They went to some interdimensional bar and drank themselves silly after saving the universe. (Not that the bartenders appreciated it. Still charged them full price, the bastards.)
After that, well, Hekapoo wasn't sure. She had gotten smashed, probably did some dumb shit, and gone home.
What had she done?
All these memories came to Hekapoo in a matter of seconds, so when she had become lucid enough to try to think clearly about her fuzzy memories, she had also simultaneously realized there was another body lying next to her.
Oh shit, did I?...
Hekapoo quickly checked under her poofy covers, and her worries were, unfortunately, confirmed once she noticed her lack of an clothing. At all.
God, Rhombulus is never going to shut up once he hears I had a one night stand. And Moon, oh shit. She's probably going to give me a whole seminar about how my actions are sending Star the "wrong message".
Hekapoo groaned and slowly got out of bed, careful not to disturb her partner. She really wanted to make sure she knew how to handle this before then. She rubbed her face, trying to simultaneously rid herself of her fatigue and headache while she walked to her wardrobe. She remembered Star's reaction when she first heard her clothes were actually cloth, not just something she had conjured. You actually sat down and sewed up a dress that looks like fire? That such a waste of time! Hekapoo smiled at the memory, remembering the now somewhat embarrassing talk she had given Star afterward about using magic responsibly.
After pulling out one of several identical dresses, which she identified as the same one she had worn the night prior, she walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinets. Yup. Jack shit.
Hekapoo gave another long sigh and contemplated going to another dimension to order fast food. Time went really slow in her dimension, so there was no reason to worry about her partner waking up before she got back. After going down a short checklist of things, on she had mentally wrote years ago to make sure she never left anything she needed behind, she quickly reached into her right pocket for her scissors and cut a door in reality, then quietly stepped through.
I am going to burn this godforsaken dimension to the ground.
Hekapoo rubbed her eyes, still feeling the effects of her irresponsible consumption of alcohol the previous night, which had only been made worse by the last half hour's endeavors. Ever since Marco had taken her to a McDonald's on one of the rare occasions she had visited Earth, she had sworn that she had found the bottom rung of the culinary arts.
Of course, the multiverse was ever so eager to prove her wrong.
This, place, was an absolute abomination. The lobby smelled like rotten cheese, the customer service was nonexistent, and the price was ridiculous. It had taken ten minutes for her to stand through the line, all the while several small children had pointed up at her and asked their parents what was wrong with her. (Apparently, she looked like a zombie in this dimension, because after all it's not like zombies limbs were usually falling off and their eyes missing from years of decomposition.) The waiter/cashier was insufferable, and she had to repeat her order three times before he said, "Sorry, I had my earbuds in. What was that?"
And now she was sitting on one of the benches, a good fifteen minutes later, ticket in hand, waiting for her order to come while small children flung bits and pieces of food at her hair, waiting for two orders of hotcakes.
Hekapoo took a deep breath and looked down at the receipt in her hands. 207. It's okay. just a few more minutes and you can leave. Just a few more minutes...
"315! Anyone need order 315?" An employee called out. Hekapoo's jaw dropped in shock. She made herself take a quick second to calm down, then approached the employee.
"Um, excuse me, Miss," Hekapoo said very politely.
"What the hell do you want?" The employee screamed back.
"Well, the number you called out is way higher than mine, so I was just wondering if mine was done."
The woman rolled her eyes and sat the order down on a nearby counter. "Look, lady, I'm sure that wherever you're from you get served from least to highest, but shit doesn't work like that here."
Hekapoo narrowed her gaze. "Well, how does it work?"
"Simple." The employee said. "You take the ticket you just gave out, double its number, then divide by two, add the sum of all the digits in the date together, subtract however much the last football games were won by, square it, then you..."
"Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait." Hekapoo interrupted. "Why do you do all that?"
"I dunno. I just work here."
Hekapoo sighed. "Do you get a higher number at the end of all that, uh, work you do?" She asked. The other woman nodded. "So, therefore, if my number is less, it should be done by now."
"Well, that depends, sometimes if the stars line up a certain way..."
"IS TICKET 207 DONE!?" Hekapoo yelled.
The employee looked down at a clipboard. "Yup! Lucky for you, it's a Wednesday."
Hekapoo rubbed her temples, walked up to the counter to grab her food, and then reached into her left pocket. Strangely, a bunch of light erupted out, like a spotlight, and she pulled out a wand. Yes, a wand. It was red, had a glass ball at its tip full of molten hot magma, and a broken star in the center. Star's wand?!
Hekapoo shoved the now shapeshifted wand back into left her pocket, and pulled out her scissors from the other. Off to Mewnie, I guess.
Hekapoo's portal opened at the exact spot she had wanted, of course. She decided to appear in the courtyard, so as to not make a big deal of her entrance but not be too comfortable in the Queen's home. Hekapoo had always made sure to respect the customs and traditions of whatever dimension she visited unless they were exceedingly stupid. She was not going to wear a catsuit.
It only took her a few minutes to find one of the servants who worked there. "Hey, do you know where Queen Star is?"
The servant looked around and then blinked as if he wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer. "Well, Queen Star is not here at the moment. But I'm sure someone else could help you with whatever you need, your majesty. Perhaps, her parents? They still live here at the castle. Their names are-"
"Thank you, thanks, really." Hekapoo interrupted. "Oh, and I'm not royalty, by the way."
"Oh, oh." The servant said. "You, aren't?"
"Nah. Just a super cool demon lady."
It only took Hekapoo a few minutes to reach Moon and Johansen's shared room. She knocked, wary that she may be intruding on something (Because who really know with the Butterfly family.), but was warmly welcomed in.
"Oh, hello Hekapoo. to what do we owe the pleasure?" Moon asked, as dignified as ever.
Hekapoo let out a small chuckle, always one for showmanship, and quickly thought of a dramatic answer.
"You owe the pleasure to this." She replied and pulled Star's wand out of her pocket.
Both River and Moon gasped, but their next reactions were very different.
"This fiend has stolen our daughter's wand! Quickly, my love, we must smite her!" Johansen yelled and threw a shoe at Hekapoo.
"OW!" Hekapoo yelped. "No, I was just-Did you just throw a shoe at me?"
"I sure did! And I'll throw anything I need to to get my daughter's property back!" Johansen yelled.
"Oh calm down, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this." Moon said, the turned to Hekapoo with a small bit of apprehension and asked, "There is, isn't there?"
"Yeah, there is." She threw Johansen a glare. "I was trying to return it Star. Where is she?"
"Well, we don't know," Johansen said.
"Yes, don't you remember, Hekapoo?" Moon continued her husband's thought. "I left early during last nights, celebration, and Star stayed behind. And if I recall correctly, you said you would look after her." Moon's eyes narrowed. "If anything, you should know where she is."
Hekapoo gulped, hoping that this wasn't going the direction she thought it was.
"Now when I leave my daughter under someone else's watch, I would assume that they would take the responsibility seriously." Moon began.
Oh god this is going exactly where I think it's going.
"I left Star under your protection, Hekapoo, and if any type of harm has come to her, I can assure you that it will not be taken lightly." Moon stopped her pacing and turned to Hekapoo. Suddenly, she lunged at her, hand around Hekapoo's throat. "And any harm is done to her will done to you as well. Understood?"
Hekapoo nodded wildly, unable to respond verbally. Moon stayed in that position, staring deep into Hekapoo's eyes. Hekapoo gasped for air but was too frightened to do anything about it.
Moon dropped Hekapoo after a good ten seconds, then walked back to her husband. "Good. I expect Star to be home soon, completely unharmed."
Johansen stood there awkwardly for a second, and then added, "Uh, Ditto."
Hekapoo walked down the hall, now with a pounding headache, a sore throat, and a riddle to work out.
Where could Star be? I wouldn't have let her just run off by herself, even if I was drunk. I just wish I could remember anything from last night. I need to start drinking less.
Dammit, Hekapoo, think. Where could she be? She's not at the castle. Could she be on Earth? No, she doesn't like to intrude on Jackie and Marco. That means she has to be with one of the members of the MHC. Rhombulus and the Chancellor don't have space unless he froze her again. Omnitrix doesn't even have a house. She's not in my dimension, the only people there are me and,...
And whoever I had sex with last night.
Hekapoo quickly tore open a portal and launched herself through, closing it as fast as she could once she was on the other side. She had to force herself to walk slowly, making sure not to make much noise. Her heart beat furiously as she slowly rounded the corner. She started breathing heavily. She, she, she...
Calm down. Just walk in there. It's not that big of a deal.
After regaining her bearings, she closed her eyes and took one step around the corner, into her bedroom.
After several more seconds, Hekapoo opened her eyes.
And there she was, snoring adorably, cuddling up against a narwhal plushie she had no doubt conjured up in her sleep. There was Queen Star Butterly, lying naked in Hekapoo's bed.
See, no big deal. Hekapoo told herself.
"Oh my god, this is the biggest deal!" Hekapoo screamed out loud.
Star woke up to the sound of someone screaming. Really, really loudly. She scrunched her eyes shut, trying to convince herself that she was still sleeping, but as the screaming continued, she was forced to get up. When she did sit up and open her eyes, she saw Hekapoo pacing around in a circle talking to herself.
"It's okay, it's okay. No, it's not, this is terrible, it, oh my god, oh my god." She mumbled, obviously in her own world.
"Hekapoo, what's, what's going on?" Star asked, barely conscious enough to speak at all.
"Star, you're awake!" Hekapoo yelped and turned to her. She clearly meant to say something else, but her face froze and her cheeks reddened, and he started staring at something on Star's chest.
Star scrambled with the covers, trying to cover her chest. She succeeded fairly quickly. Now fully awake, she tried to piece together what had happened.
First, we fought toffee, and then, and then we won! Then we went out to celebrate, and Mom was all like "Be responsible; don't drink too much", and ignored her of course, and the Hekapoo said she'd look after me, and then we went back to her house, and then...
Oh my god.
Star looked back at Hekapoo, now acutely aware of why she had been so panicked. Hekapoo's face was still beet red, or actually more like weird pink because of her skin color. She had turned away from Star, probably to preserve her modesty and didn't seem to have any intention of turning back around.
"Hey, Hekapoo?" Star asked. The other woman didn't respond. "Did we..."
"Yeah, I think so." She said her body as rigid as a board.
Star sat silently for a second, staring off into space. "I, I don't know what to do. I mean, about this. I haven't really, you know, done that before." Star said, a familiar heat rising in her cheeks again. "Ever."
Hekapoo turned back to Star, eyes (Or at least the one she could see.) wide. "You mean, I was your first?" Star nodded slowly.
"Oh my god," Hekapoo said. "You and I, and you never, and I, Oh my god." Hekapoo rambled and turned straight to Star. "I'm dead."
"What?" Star laughed.
"I'm dead. Moon is going to kill me." Hekapoo reiterated.
My mom? Why would she...? Oh, yeah.
Star let out a sigh. "Like hell she is."
Hekapoo snapped out of her weird trance, and for the first time, that day really looked at Star. "Wha-what?"
"I said, like hell she is. My Mom can't baby me forever." Star said, and Hekapoo, sighed? Not the reaction she had expected.
"It's not like that, Star." Hekapoo sighed.
Star looked at Hekapoo for a second, thinking everything through. "You know what, no. You don't get to do that. I'm old enough to make my decisions, you all can't keep treating me like a kid forever, acting like everything just flies over my head. I'm 26 now-"
"And I'm 10,000." Hekapoo interrupted her.
"Re-really?" Star said, taken aback. She looked Hekapoo up and down, and then offered her a thumbs up. "Lookin' good."
Hekapoo sighed, for like, the twentieth time. "That's not what I mean. I'm way too old for you, Star, I shouldn't be manipulating you-"
"Manipulating me?" Star asked. "Hekapoo, we both agreed to it. You went through this same whole rant last night, too, remember?"
Hekapoo paused, face contorting with guilt. "Actually, no. I, I don't remember any of it." And that, for some reason she couldn't quite pin down, hurt Star in a way nothing else had before.
"R-really?" Star asked. "None of it? You, you don't remember how we kissed, and, you told me how beautiful I was and, and, and we..." Star struggled to recall an entire night's worth of emotion and put it into one sentence. "You really don't remember any of it?" Hekapoo shook her head.
No, she has to, it was, it was so special, she can't just forget it.
Star's inner monologue was interrupted by Hekapoo's hand touching the side of her face, wiping away tears she didn't remember crying. "Star, it... it's fine. You still mean something to me, and to all of your other friends. It'll be okay." Star sniffled, and Hekapoo lowered her hand.
"Besides, this is exactly what I was talking about. There's just too big of a maturity gap between us." Hekapoo said. Hekapoo turned away slowly, so she didn't realize right away just how mad patronizing Star Butterfly made Star Butterfly.
"So just because you don't remember it your more mature than me," Star said in a low voice with a fierce, sharp tone.
"That's not what I said."
"No, it's not what you said. But it's what happening. It meant just as much to you then, and it would now if you could remember." Star countered. "And it's not like you being super old changes anything anyway. You still act like your thirty or something, what's the difference?"
"There's a big difference, and you have no way of proving that I care about you, now or then. I was drunk, that's it." Hekapoo snapped back, staring Star straight in the eyes. She watched as Star's look of hurt changed slowly to a scowl, then lightened, and realized what she was going to do just as it was too late. Star wrapped her arm around Hekapoo's back and pulled her against her body, brushing her hair to the side with the other arm.
And Star kissed her.
And... it was strange. Hekapoo's lips were somehow both soft and brittle, and her body was ridiculously warm. Not to mention that Star really didn't know what she was doing.
And of course, stubborn as she was, Hekapoo resisted at first, but then let Star go on. And after that, she wrapped her arm's around Star, and pulled her even closer. And after that, she started to run her fingers through Star's long hair, stroking it gently.
It had only lasted a moment. Star would have guessed maybe ten or fifteen seconds. But it was enough to stop Hekapoo's protests in their tracks, and enough to make Star jump over the moon.
Hekapoo slowly opened her eyes, letting out a breath she didn't know was caught in her chest, trying to hold onto the last bits of that wonderful sensation, and saw Star grinning ear to ear. "I knew it! You do like me!" Star yelled and hugged Hekapoo again.
Hekapoo awkwardly shoved her off, and Star's spirits fell. "What? I, I thought you liked that? Did I do something wrong? Don't you like me?" Hekapoo's face shifted to space somewhere between confusion, guilt, and worry, and Star picked up on her feelings.
She had never thought of this. Before right now, the idea of being with Star had never gone through Hekapoo's mind. Star had assumed it should be that way, that they were supposed to be together, because of what had happened last night, but that's not really how it works, is it? Maybe they shouldn't be together. Maybe what they did last night was just a mistake, something completely meaningless. Something wrong.
No. The one singular thought rang through Star's head all at once. That can't just be a mistake. It wasn't bad, it wasn't forced, it was just, a little weird. She laughed to herself. Like everything else I do.
Hekapoo was going down a similar line of thought, though it was much more apprehensive. She needed time. And she needed to talk. And unfortunately, now was the best time for talking.
"Star, I've never thought of you like that, not until, well now. I always thought that the whole age thing just made it impossible, but, maybe your right? Maybe, maybe I do like you, I, I don't know." Hekapoo started to deflect, not really wanting to have to go through all this all at once.
This is too much soul searching to do with a hangover.
"I don't really know either." Star put a hand on Hekapoo's shoulder. "But we can try."
Hekapoo smiled. 'You know what I always liked about you Star? You never just accepted anything. I mean, it was annoying having to answer a hundred questions every day, but it's worth it. You make things better for everyone, and you don't let what other people do or say hold you back."
Star smiled. "Thanks. I always liked how you always have something funny to say and don't take shit from people."
They both smiled and enjoyed the oddly comfortable silence for a moment. Hekapoo started to wonder if maybe it would actually work out. She didn't think the rest of the commission would mind, and Moon...
Moon will kill me.
"Star, under no circumstance, can your mother learn of this," Hekapoo said.
Star groaned. "Are you seriously still worried about that?"
"Star, listen to me. You know how protective your mother is of you. The fact is that I'm gonna have a lot more power in our relationship because I've been doing in a lot more of them and I am more mature than you. I'm gonna look like a predator to her, that's all there is to it. And until I can tell her that she's definitely wrong about that and that I really do love you, I don't want to have to explain all this to her."
Star sat still, thinking, before answering. "I guess your right. Gonna be hard not to let it slip through."
Hekapoo laughed. 'How hard could it be? I'm always in a different dimension and you're busy with Queen stuff."
"Yeah," Star said, "But there is the ceremony."
Hekapoo's eyes widened. "What ceremony?"
"I don't know, but there'll be one after all this Toffee business."
"We, we don't know that, right?" Hekapoo asked, desperately.
"Hekapoo," Star said, staring her straight in the eyes. "They have a ceremony for a song written about the new Queen that the entire Royal family knows is bogus, but we do it anyway. There's gonna be one for us saving the multiverse."
"Oh, god," Hekapoo said, turning pale. (Or more pale, at least.)
Star chuckled. "This may be kinda weird to say, but you're cute when you're scared."
Hekapoo took a deep breath. "This is fine. It's fine. We can fake our way through this. I mean, how would they even know?"
Star nodded, and Hekapoo looked her over again. Her gaze was caught by her shining eyes, soft hair, beautiful body...
"This isn't going to work at all."