“Flowers, candles, chocolate, burgers..” Dean trailed off and glanced shamefully at the bottle of wine that was on the table. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Dean Winchester celebrating Valentine’s Day while drinking wine and surrounded by so many flowers that he could open a flower shop and enough candles that they could burn the bunker to the ground.
“Everything ready?” asked Sam from the doorway and Dean looked up and nodded uncertainty. He didn’t feel that things were ready, but there wasn’t anything else that he could fix. “Ok, so I called Cas and he’ll be here in about an hour and I already have my duffel packed so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon”
Dean nodded and he couldn’t fight the smile, he had tried to convince Sam to stay, but they both knew it was half-hearted and while Dean loved his brother he needed some time alone with his husband.
Sam laughed as he gestured to all of the candles “Please make sure that there is a home I can come later to” Dean looked at him sheepishly wondering if he really did go overboard. “He’ll love it Dean” encouraged Sam and Dean laughed patting him on the back “Just get out of here” Sam nodded, his eyes bright “Have fun” he called out as he climbed the stairs out of the bunker and closed the door behind him.
Dean sighed releasing a breath. He would be here in an hour. He smoothed down his shirt and jeans. He couldn’t help but grimace at his presentation, but he hated to wear suits and what he wanted was to have a casual dinner and nothing else. It was ridiculous that he was nervous, he was married for Heaven’s sake, but he could still feel the flutter of pure joy at seeing Cas and having those blue eyes look back at him.
He could feel the excitement building up in his chest and before he could stop it he reached into his pocket and reached for his phone dialing Cas.
He heard it ring for a few seconds before he heard it answer “Hello Dean” and Dean felt his heart flutter in joy at the low baritone voice “Hey Cas, how long till you get here?” he heard Cas sigh softly “I still have 20 minutes of driving left, I’m sorry” he murmured and Dean frowned.
His tone was off, he sounded tired, not in need of sleep, but when it has been a very long and tiring day and all you can do is drag yourself thru it. There was an undercurrent of frustration and a deep sadness to it.
“Cas, that’s fine” he comforted but he could feel the frustration on the other side of the phone “Today wasn’t a good day was it?” asked Dean and he heard Cas stay silent on the other end and that was the only confirmation that he needed.
“Just try to get home sweetheart” he said softly and he didn’t have to hear Cas say anything to know that he was smiling and that made every feeling of nervousness that he felt disappear. “I’ll see you soon” he whispered and he heard Cas humn in agreement before hanging up.
Dean looked around at the room and the different candles and he knew that love wasn’t candles or flowers or even the gift that he got Cas. He rolled his eyes on his own sappiness, but he walked around the room and began blowing out the candles and placed all of the flowers in one pile in the corner. Cas needed him right now and that meant without all of the extra things that weren’t needed to show him how much he loved him.
He was just finished with placing all of the food in the fridge and only leaving the fresh baked cherry pie out when he heard Cas come in.
Dean felt a smile break across his face like it did everytime that Castiel was home.
“Hey” smiled Dean as he held the angel towards his arms and wrapped them around him hugging him tightly. He felt Cas cling to him holding him tightly and his body seemed to be shaking lightly. Dean felt concern wash over him like a tidal wave “Sweetheart?” he whispered as he pulled back and it seemed that all the fight left Cas in that moment and he sagged into Dean.
Oh. It was one of those days when Cas’s depression made a cruel appearance.
Dean pulled back and held onto Cas’s face. He felt his throat constrict as the blue eyes stared back at him emptily, “Why don’t you head to bed” he whispered as he leaned his forehead into Cas’s who smiled slightly, but he could tell that it was slightly forced.
“You hungry?” He asked smiling “I could eat” he answered softly and Dean beamed as he pulled away “Go pick something in Netflix and I’ll bring something to eat” he promised as he kissed his forehead and let go. Cas sighed but turned around and headed towards their room.
Dean busied himself with serving the spaghetti and the chicken in one plate and placing the bread in a tablecloth before taking out two bottles of water and heading towards his room. He found Cas fiddling with the remote control but his eyes were unfocused as if he wasn’t really here.
Dean set the food down on his dresser and laid down next to Cas who slowly turned towards him and Dean could feel weariness in his bones at the exhaustion that was looking back at him. He slowly slid his hands thru his hair smiling as Cas closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.
Dean could feel the bracelets in his pocket. He remembers speed walking towards them and buying them before Sam would see them.
Now he was afraid that it wasn’t a good enough present.
It was a couple of pairing bracelets one that was full of white beads with only a black one in the center and its pair was one full of black beads and only a white one in the center. As cheesy as it sounded Dean knew that it describes his relationship. Cas an angel who decided to bring light and meaning into his life that was full of darkness and Cas having an existence full of heaven and angels only to be dragged down into darkness only to be with Dean. It seemed perfect now he wasn’t so sure.
It was now or never, he carefully reached into his pocket and pulled them out. He had leaned back in bed and Cas was laying on top of him, his head in Dean’s chest. “Cas” whispered Dean before he lost his nerve.
He saw Cas open his eyes sleepily “Yes?” he asked softly Dean handed him the white bracelet feeling his cheeks burn “Happy Valentine’s Day” he said softly. Cas sat up suddenly and stared down at the bracelet “Oh no” he murmured. It would have been comical if Dean didn’t notice how upset it was making him. Turned out that even angels forgot about Valentine’s Day. “I forgot” he confessed shame and sadness deep in his voice.
Dean wanted to laugh, he didn’t care about Valentine’s day. Not really. He just really wanted to have dinner and some time alone with his husband and that was what he was having.
Besides, Dean loved the relationship that they had in which gifts and holidays didn’t dictate how much they loved each other. Dean held the sides of Cas’s face and made sure to look him straight in the eye to make sure that he was focusing on him to make his message clear. “I love you Castiel. All I need from you is to be here tonight and to feel better” he murmured leaning their foreheads together “I’m so sorry” he kept repeating to him Dean could see that he was beginning to panic. Dean could tell that Cas felt that this was a failure on his part and after the losses that he was going thru, he surely thought that forgetting Dean’s valentine's present was another one to add to add to the list.
“Sweetheart, I need you to calm down” he whispered rubbing his cheeks with his thumb.“Besides” said Dean cheerfully “I got the matching set” he smiled as he pulled out the other bracelet “For me” he answered and he felt his cheeks burn again. He put it on and helped Cas put his own as well. The angel kept staring at it with sadness in his eyes “Hey, look at me” Cas looked up at him hesitantly “I love you, so much” Cas looked down again, but Dean rubbed his back until Cas looked up and met his eyes again “You’re in a dark place right now, so I know that it may be hard to believe me right now, but it’s true” he whispered and Cas didn’t say anything, but instead he touched his bracelet with wonder.
Dean hugged Cas close to his chest “I hate it when you feel in a low mood” he murmured and Cas didn’t answer, but he accepted Dean’s hug. Dean didn’t need Cas to confess his love for him, he knew that Cas loved him, besides Cas didn’t seem to be in high spirits and Dean wouldn’t push him to talk.
Instead he played the first movie that he found on netflix and turned it on as he reached for the plates that he had left on his dresser. Cas adjusted in the bed with several pillows underneath his head. Dean handed him a piece of bread for Cas to bite on slowly. He knew he wouldn’t be eating tonight and probably wouldn’t be talking, but Dean would definitely try to make him eat some breakfast tomorrow morning.
It wasn’t what Dean had planned originally, but it was what they both wanted and needed right now.
Besides, Dean could always call Sam and tell him to not come until two days later.