Habit is a dangerous thing. Getting accustomed to someone’s presence is a dangerous thing. He’s not an idiot, of course he knows that. It’s especially worse when it grows into some kind of ludicrous thing like attachment and that’s just – no, thanks. He’s had enough attachment for a lifetime, and by that, what he actually means is he’s been fucking attached – trapped – inside his house ever since his gruesome murder.
He doesn’t need more attachment, certainly not emotional attachments to vampire real estate agents ignoring his wishes and trying to sell his house. Honestly, ghosts are supposed to be above emotions, aren’t they?
And yet –
In my mind when she's not right there beside me I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be
and satisfaction feels like a distant memory
They don’t get on. They bicker. She annoys him constantly. Blatantly ignores how he repeatedly states that he’s not sharing his house. He doesn’t even like her.
Really, he doesn’t.
It’s just –
She’s become some sort of constant in his life, using the term ‘life’ loosely, at least. Potential buyers and people who pretended to be potential buyers come and go, none of them could see him or hear him. Even if they do get affected when he messes around. She, though, she could see him hear him talk to him even if all they do if argue all the time, it’s better than the lifeless silence when she’s not around, driving him crazy.
That’s all it is.
Not that he wants to admit it to her, of course. Honestly, it’s not his fault his in this condition, trapped inside a house without anyone to talk to, to recognize his existence, and it’s certainly not his fault if he sort of becomes a little dependent on her. That’s just, like, the natural consequences of the world. Like gravity or something.
He doesn’t even like her.
Okay, it’s just that if he’s getting accustomed to her presence, to having her as some sort of constant – constant, not comfort, mind the difference – in his life/existence, wouldn’t it only be fair that she feels the same about him too?
It’s about fairness. He might’ve grown up rich, but hey, he does know the concept of fairness, alright?
It’s only completely natural, logical, he wants be some kind of presence in her life, that he wants him to be important to her, isn’t it?
It’s only fair that she wants him a little, isn’t it?
Christ, it drives him crazy when she’s not here –
It hits him, that moment of clarity, like bright sunlight cutting through a translucent glass, when there seemed to be a way that for him to finally leave the house. It’s alarming, that after wanting to not be trapped inside her for so long, he should be glad to be free but –
What if that’s the end of them, what if this is the end of whatever they had, despite the fact that he doesn’t even know what exactly did they have.
It hits him, that moment of clarity, he’s going to miss her if that happens. Just like the way he wants her to come with him, just like the way he wants her by her side. Even though he tells her that it’s for insurance of his safety, or for his entertainment, deep down he knows that there another reason. The real reason.
He doesn’t really want to tell her that he’s enjoyed the fact that when she couldn’t sell the house, he knows she would still come back tomorrow or next week, that even though she’d leave and go elsewhere, she’s still going to come back.
That’s there’s always going to be a tomorrow with her in it for as long as he drags this on.
“I would just feel better,” he said, cautiously toeing the line of honesty but still trying not to reveal his entire self. “If you were there.”
“Is this you asking nicely?” she prompted.
“Probably,” he shrugged.
Are you mine tomorrow? Or just mine tonight?
“What did you wish for, by the way?” he asked, curiously watching as her cheeks colored.
“You. Only I didn’t know it at that time.”
Their lips met, and he knows immediately that he’s hers. Tonight, tomorrow, and the day after that, until – well not exactly forever, now they’re not caught in the realms of undead anymore, but –
- maybe a lifetime is enough.