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Stan and Richie Are Bad Friends

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Stan was standing in the kitchen, pressed up against the counter as Richie moved his fingers in and out of his ass. His elbows supported his weight as he pushed back into Richie, searching for more contact.

“Fuck, Richie, I need more,” he said, trying to keep the edge of a whimper out of his voice.

He felt Richie nod behind him from the way his messy curls bounced against his shoulder blades, and then Richie put a third finger in, pressing kisses across Stan’s shoulders.

“I wanna make you feel so good, I can't wait to feel you all hot and tight around my cock,” Richie groaned against Stan’s skin.

“Do it. Fuck, I’m ready, Richie, put it in,” he panted.

Richie started to comply with a moan, stroking lube onto himself before grinding his cock against the cleft of Stan’s ass. And then Stan’s cellphone started to ring, Bill's contact picture lighting up the screen where his phone sat on the counter to the right of them. Richie sucked at Stan’s neck and said, “You gonna answer that?”

Stan scoffed and grumbled a “Fuck off,” before he reached around behind him and pulled at Richie’s hip to press them together harder, his cock parting Stan’s cheeks slightly. The phone rang out and went to voicemail by the time Richie was lining up his tip and pressing in slightly.

And then the phone started ringing again.

Stan let out a loud sound of frustration as Richie took a step back and sighed.

“Okay, you should actually answer that, it could be an emergency.” His voice was gruff and low.

“Fine,” Stan growled, and picked up his phone to finally cut off the ringing. “Hey Bill,” he said, managing not to sound too angry.

“Hey Stan, you’re on speaker, ‘cause Eddie’s here, and he and I need your help figuring some math things out. We have a project for our financial studies class, and you took it in tenth g-grade right? Are you busy?”

“No, he’s not busy,” Richie yelled into the phone from behind Stan.

“Richie’s here,” Stan said, rolling his eyes. “I guess we’re done… with our project. Shoot.”

“Okay, so-” Bill and Eddie launched into their problem, and Stan heard Richie moving behind him. He turned to see Richie with his head back, hand moving over his softening cock.

Stan gave Richie a look that said, “What the fuck, man?” and watched in disbelief as Richie lined up with Stan’s ass again and raised an eyebrow in question.

Stan was having an internal battle. On one hand, how fucked up would this be? What if Bill and Eddie noticed? But on the other hand, god, it would be so fucking hot. Stan quickly nodded before he could talk himself out of it, and Richie started pushing his dick inside of Stan. Stan let out a small squeak.

“Stanley? You g-good?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, I’m good, Richie is just being a pain in the ass,” he replied with a smirk, until Richie bottomed out and he tried desperately to keep quiet.

Richie laughed.

“Okay, well, anyway…” Eddie continued.

Stan tried really hard to pay attention to their problem and respond in turn, all the while Richie was starting to draw out and push back into Stan in tiny, slow thrusts. He was hardly even moving, basically just grinding against Stan, until he moved and found his prostate. Stan sucked in a sharp breath, but Bill and Eddie didn’t seem to notice. Richie certainly did.

He started pulling out farther, thrusting back in harder, directly into Stan’s prostate on every other thrust. Stan leaned down onto his elbows again, pushing his ass out to meet Richie’s thrusts. He couldn’t help the deep breaths he was taking, so he had to pull the phone away from his face to bite onto his forearm.

“Stanley? Are you there?” Stan heard Bill ask from the phone.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he replied with a great amount of effort.


“Sorry, what was the question?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem really distracted,” Eddie commented.

“Yeah, no I’m-”

It was this moment that Richie chose to administer a particularly hard thrust directly against Stan’s prostate, causing a long, loud moan to leave his throat, followed by, “Fuck!”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone for a second, and then, “Are you…?”

“Oh my fucking god, are you and Richie having sex?” Eddie screeched.

“No! Of course not, why would you-” Another hard thrust. “Fuck. Fuck. God, Richie, fucking…. Stop, Jesus.”

“I can’t fucking believe you! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eddie continued to squeak out.

Richie reached around and took the phone from Stan’s hand, hanging up on their friends. He gripped at Stan’s hips as Stan leaned even farther into his thrusts.

“You’re such a fucking prick, I can’t believe you,” Stan panted out.

“Yeah, baby, talk dirty to me,” Richie teased.

“Shut up,” Stan moaned. “Just shut the fuck up.”

“Yeah? You want me to stop talking? What do you want me to do instead?”“I want you to fuck me like you mean it, Trashmouth.”

Richie definitely took the challenge like Stan was hoping, fucking into Stan so hard, and Stan had to hold the edge of the counter, white knuckled, to keep from slamming into it. Richie was whispering dirty things into Stan’s ear, telling him how good he felt and how hot he looked.

“You liked being caught, didn’t you? You’re such a fucking slut,” Richie growled, digging his nails into Stan’s sides.

A bolt of lightening shot through Stan’s abdomen at his words, and he replied with, “Richie, I need to come. Right now, touch my cock.”Richie complied, reaching around and tugging at Stan’s cock, once, twice, three times, before Stan’s stomach was coiling, and he was coming all over the front of Richie’s parents’ kitchen cabinets.

“Oh god, you’re so fucking hot, so tight around my cock, coming so good for me,” Richie rambled on as he continued to fuck into Stan through his orgasm, past his over-sensitivity.

“You gonna come inside me, baby?" Stan asked gruffly. “You gonna blow your load deep in my ass and make a mess of me? Maybe we can get a picture of your come dripping out of my hole and send it to Bill and Eddie. Do you think they’d like that?”

Richie came in Stan with a loud groan, his thrusts erratic as he worked himself through it, Stan pushing back onto his dick. His own twitched in a valiant effort to get hard again.

When Richie pulled out, Stan felt the wet dripping on his thighs, and his dick gave another twitch. Then Richie was on his knees behind Stan, his tongue sliding up his thigh, and then over his hole.

“Oh god, baby, yes,” Stan moaned.

Richie licked his own come out of Stan and stroked his spit-wet hand over Stan’s cock. Stan was so sensitive, but Richie was so good with his tongue and his huge hands, and soon, Stan was coming again.

They both laid on the floor after, trying to catch their breath. Stan was thinking about how badly they needed to clean the kitchen through his orgasm-hazy mind.

“Think we should call Bill and Eddie back?” Richie asked.

Stan smacked his shoulder, but he was grinning.