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Look After You

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(Y/N) was exhausted after a long day at work. She worked at a coffee shop – so not the hardest job in the world – but it had been crazy busy today, and it seemed as if everyone had been in a bad mood. As a shift leader, she had been the one dealing with all the complaints. The coffee wasn’t hot enough, there wasn’t enough cream, this wasn’t right, that wasn’t right. She’d even had someone throw their coffee at her, and she hadn’t fully managed to get out of the way in time, so she’d ended up with coffee all down her arm. Luckily it had cooled off a little bit, so it didn’t burn her, but needless to say, it had been a long day. She’d even had to pull a double, because one of the night crew called in and she couldn’t find anyone to cover it.

It was usually after a hard day at work that (Y/N) would end up regressing. Sometimes it was voluntary, sometimes it wasn’t. Either way it was a way for her to unwind and de-stress if her day was too stressful. But (Y/N) tried to regress as little as possible, because she lived alone. It wasn’t safe for someone in a toddler or infant stage of mind to be on their own. Who knew what they would get into? If it was a voluntary regression, she knew she could at least keep herself out of too much trouble. But if it was an involuntary regression, and she was in a completely different mind state all together, she knew she could potentially end up very hurt.

The regressions were why she only had a job at the coffee shop. She’d gone to college, she got a degree, she could be doing something amazing. Not to say that working in a coffee shop is a terrible job, it’s just not what she had seen herself doing for the rest of her life. But she couldn’t hold down a super important job, like a CEO of something, if she couldn’t always count on her mind to be there.

Tonight, (Y/N) could feel herself regressing. This time it wasn’t going to be a voluntary one, it was going to be involuntary. She was trying to fight it, but she could tell it was only a matter of time before it happened. She takes a deep breath, grabbing the things she needs for when she’s little, and sets them all down on the floor, on a mat she used specifically for this reason. (Y/N) got herself into a diaper (although it was a little crooked and not totally on properly), and into a onesie, and grabbed her pacifier. She grabbed a couple blankets to put over herself, hoping in her little state she would just go to sleep quickly. Then, when morning came, she’d hopefully be back to her big state.

It hit her quickly. One second, she was there, and the next she was gone. In the mind state of just a baby. Maybe a one year old. Certainly not old enough to be on her own. (Y/N) looked around, seeing she was all alone, and started to cry. She was used to being alone, but every time, it was scary. If she needed something, no one would know, and she would have no way of contacting anyone. (Y/N) clutches onto the blankets she’d laid on top of herself, tears streaming down her face and pacifier starting to dangle out of her mouth.


John had known (Y/N) since high school. They’d gone to school together and had been close friends. They’d kept in touch throughout the years, losing contact for a while when he was married to Mary, but eventually getting back in touch after she passed away. There was hardly a day they didn’t talk, and John came to her house frequently, whenever he and the boys weren’t too busy with cases.

Since high school, John could tell there was something a little different about (Y/N), but he could never put his finger on what it was. He knew she didn’t have any sort of mental disorder like autism or Asperger’s, but there was something just… off. He didn’t worry too much about it, though. They were best friends, and he would accept her for whoever she was.

(Y/N) had managed to keep it hidden all this time, even with John coming around frequently. She still had no idea how she’d managed it for so long when the regressions were involuntary, but it just so happened to work out that they usually happened when John was off hunting something with Sam and Dean. (Y/N) knew Sam and Dean well. They were the best kids, and John had done a good job of raising them. He struggled for a while after Mary passed away, but eventually he’d gotten his head back together and raised them to be fine, strong young men.

(Y/N) had texted John earlier while she was on a break at work, complaining about how she was going to have to work a double, so he decided he would come surprise her with a nice, hot dinner. He knew she wouldn’t want to cook after that sort of day. Sam and Dean were both off doing their own things as young adults do, so he had nowhere to be. He got her favorite Indian takeout, before going to her house, bag in hand. John sees (Y/N)’s car in the driveway, but when he knocks on the door he gets no response. Eyebrows furrowed, John grabs the spare key from under the mat and lets himself in.

“(Y/N?)” John calls quickly, setting the food down on the table. Even though it was likely nothing bad had happened, he couldn’t help but think the worst after all the supernatural stuff he’d encountered. “(Y/N/N?) Are you home?”

He thought he heard a shuffling noise coming from upstairs, so he quickly heads that way. John slowly draws his gun from inside his jacket, clicking the safety off. He points it in front of him as he looks into some of the rooms with open doors, before coming to (Y/N)’s bedroom, where the door was shut. “(Y/N)?” He calls again, “I’m coming in.”

John pushes open the door slowly, afraid of what he was going to find. The last thing he expected, however, was what he did find. (Y/N) laying on the floor in a onesie, sucking on a pacifier, and crying her eyes out. His eyebrows raise as he looks around, seeing if there was some witch or something still there, but there was no one else in sight. John slowly puts his gun away, kneeling on the floor next to her, placing his hand on her back. “(Y/N), sweetheart… it’s me. It’s John. Do you remember me?”

It was a sudden realization that this was probably what he’d thought had been ‘off’ about her since high school. She must have been doing this, all on her own since high school. The thought made his heart ache. The poor thing was scared half to death, evident by the way she jumped when his large hand touched her back. “Shh… it’s okay, honey. It’s just me, John.”

Tears are still falling from her eyes and streaming down her cheeks as she looks up to him, her eyes confused, and scared. John realized that there was no recognition in her look. This wasn’t just something she did for fun – (Y/N) really wasn’t in there. This was a baby. This was something she didn’t have control over.

“You poor thing. You must be pretty scared, huh?” John says gently, helping her to sit up. He brushes his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe away the tears that were starting to slow, even though she was still afraid of this man. “It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you. I promise. Can you talk?”

“Little.” (Y/N) answers quietly, exhaling a shuddering breath from how hard she had been crying. Even when she regressed to a very young age, she usually had at least a little bit of speech skills, unless she regressed all the way to an infant stage.

“A little bit? Okay, that’s fine.” John says, smiling at her. He’s still using one arm to prop her up, so she can sit up, but when he goes to shift a little bit, he can feel something wet on the mat. He glances down, already knowing what must have happened. “(Y/N), sweetheart, did you wet yourself?”

(Y/N) looks down, her cheeks red. She nods her head slowly. But she had a diaper on, that was supposed to catch it, right? Just taking a peek at how it looked beneath her onesie, he could tell she hadn’t gotten it on properly, causing some of it to leak out when she’d gone.

“Okay, sweetheart. That’s okay. Let’s get you cleaned up.” John says softly, hand caressing the back of her neck gently. He looks around a little bit, seeing that she only had minimal supplies right next to the mat. (Y/N) must have known this was going to happen, and had tried to prepare herself, but no one could prepare for being a baby. It just wasn’t safe.

He scoops her up rather easily, laying her down on her bed. “Stay right there, okay? Don’t move.” John starts to look through her dresser, finally finding some diapers hidden under some clothing. “Aha!” He says, grabbing them out. He takes one, putting the rest on top of the dresser in case he needed them later.

John quickly gets her out of her onesie, noticing how (Y/N) is starting to slowly warm up to him. So far, he hadn’t hurt her, and hadn’t done anything mean, so he must be a good guy. When he tickles her belly she giggles, and John smiles in return. “There’s that smile.” He gets her changed, ensuring the diaper is snug on her, before getting her back into her onesie.

“So, baby girl, does this happen to you a lot?” He asks, and she nods her head. “Probably when you have a stressful day, right? Like today?” (Y/N) just looks up at him, no recollection of what had happened earlier in the day. John just chuckles quietly, stroking his fingers through her hair. “So, you do this all by yourself? Diapers, feeding, everything?”

(Y/N) nods her head, a quiet whimper emitted from behind her pacifier. “Scary.” She says softly. “Cold.” She points at a bottle she had set out, John realizing that must be what she eats, but she wouldn’t be able to get it to a microwave.

“What do you say we get you a warm bottle and get you tucked into bed?” John is practically cooing to her. The last time he got to be with a baby was when Sammy was a baby, and that was thirty-four years ago. Even though most people thought of him as rough, he’d always had a soft spot for babies and children. That was how Mary had gotten him to have Sam and Dean.

Nodding her head, (Y/N) leans into John’s side. He wraps his arms around her to scoop her up, tucking her into his chest. John grabs the bottle from off of the floor, going down to the kitchen, where their food lay, forgotten. John figured he could just put it in the refrigerator, and they could have it for leftovers at some point. John gets the bottle all warmed up, cradling her in his arm so he can feed it to her.

(Y/N) is practically sucking the bottle down as fast as she can. John chuckles, spinning it in her mouth a little bit to get her attention. “Slow, sweetheart. It’s not going anywhere. I promise.” She was just amazed at how much better it tasted when it was warm. It also made her much sleepier, she found, when she was starting to fall asleep right then and there with the bottle still in her mouth.

John lets her keep sucking on it for a while before he removes it from her mouth, brushing her pacifier against her lips. She takes it in, contently sucking on it, and John leans down to kiss her forehead. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll be right here in the morning to take care of you if you need it, okay?”

He carries her up the stairs as she continues to fall asleep, getting her tucked into bed. In her half-asleep state, when John tries to get out of the bed, she whines, and pulls him back in. John happily obliges, getting under the covers and pulling (Y/N) into his arms to snuggle her for the night.


(Y/N) starts to slowly wake up. She’s still in a little state, but this time, it’s voluntary. She knows who she is. She knows what age she is. She was just still feeling vulnerable. (Y/N) knew soon enough she’d be able to force herself out of it and go about her day as usual – until she has the shocking realization she’s laying in bed with someone right next to her. What the hell?

She practically bolts upright, gasping in horror when she sees John laying next to her. Immediately she’s scrambling to get out of bed. She had managed to hide it for this long, and now suddenly her secret was out.

John had woken up quickly when she bolted upright, and immediately he could tell she wasn’t fully regressed like she had been the night before. The look of shame and embarrassment is written all over her face, and John shakes his head quickly. “It’s okay! I decided I was going to come bring you dinner after your double… I found you on the floor. I didn’t do anything, I swear. I just… changed and fed you, then tucked you in.”

(Y/N)’s eyes fill with embarrassed tears. There was no way John was ever going to look at her in the same way again. No way he would even want to be her friend anymore. She had made one stupid mistake, and it had likely cost her the best friend she’d ever known. (Y/N) quickly spits out the pacifier when she realizes she still has it in. “I’m so sorry.” She whimpers quietly, her voice still sounding little, even though she’s trying to get back to her big state. “M’sorry John… can’t help it, you shouldn’t have had to do that… it’s okay if you hate me.”

Her eyes are cast downward, so she can’t see the heartbroken expression he gets on his face when she mentions him hating her. “Hey, no. I don’t hate you at all. I’m not upset about what happened. It was just like taking care of a baby, you know? The only thing I’m even remotely upset about is you going through this for so long, and never telling me about it. Having to do that on your own is dangerous, and I’m sure it’s scary as hell. You were scared out of your mind when I found you last night.”

(Y/N)’s eyes are starting to leak tears again, and she whimpers quietly. It was scary regressing on her own. “That’s why I try to hold it in.” She whispers. “Try to fight against it. Sometimes… can’t.”

“You shouldn’t have to hold it in.” John soothes quietly, moving toward her on the bed a little bit, placing his hand on her shoulder. “You should have told me earlier, so I could take care of you earlier. But I’m here now, and I’m going to do whatever you need, okay? I’ll look after you.”

“M’still little, John.” (Y/N) whispers, still clearly embarrassed. She rubs at her eyes sleepily, cheeks only going a darker red when she realizes she’d wet herself during the night. That was normal, but now she had someone else there.

John smiles, tilting her chin up so she’ll look at him, stroking his thumb over her cheek again. “That’s okay.” He whispers reassuringly. “You be little as long as you need, okay? I’m right here, and I’ll take care of you. I’m not going to leave you like this, (Y/N/N), and I’m not going to stop being your friend afterward, either.”

(Y/N) sniffles, meeting his gaze with a sad and unsure one of her own, but she slowly nods her head. “Okay…” She pauses. (Y/N) is debating on telling him that she wet herself during the night but decides against it. She doesn’t want to seem like a burden, and she doesn’t want him to think she just wants him to do the gross stuff.

John smiles, kissing the top of her head quickly. “Alright. How’s about we get you cleaned up and get some breakfast, hmm?” He goes over to the dresser and grabs another diaper, still smiling over at her. “Lay down, sweetheart.”

“John… you really don’t…” She whispers, her voice muffled from the pacifier still in her mouth. Her cheeks are still red, even as John is gently pushing her to a laying position on the bed.

“I know I don’t have to do anything. But I want to help you. You’re a little girl. Much too little to do this on your own, so let me do it for you.” (Y/N) can feel herself blushing, but she giggles quietly. He was really getting into it, and she was grateful for it.

John gets her changed quickly, but before he gets her into new clothes, he blows a few raspberries on her tummy. She squeals, reaching down to grab his hair, and John just grins, continuing to tickle her gently. He presses a quick kiss to her tummy before raising up, getting her dressed.

Placing her on his hip, John carries her down to the kitchen, setting her on the counter. “Stay right here, sweet girl. Can you do that for me? While I figure out what I’m going to make us to eat?”

(Y/N) nods happily, giggling when he kisses her pacifier. She grabs his face with her hands, rubbing her nose against his. He was taking this much better than she had anticipated, and she was grateful he didn’t seem to mind.

She happily kicks her feet against the cupboards under them, watching John as he goes around the kitchen. He grabs stuff to make pancakes, and sets about making them, looking over at (Y/N) every so often as he does. “You’re such a happy little girl, aren’t you?” He coos at one point while he’s waiting, going over to her and kissing her pacifier again.

Blushing, (Y/N) nods her head. “I got you taking care of me!” She says proudly and excitedly. Although it makes John happy she’s excited, it also makes him sad. Someone in this mind state should always have someone taking care of her – it shouldn’t be something special.

John leans his forehead against hers, kissing her nose gently, before letting his eyes close. “Baby girl, I need you to promise me something. I’m very serious about it. Can you promise me something?” (Y/N)’s eyes widen, and she nods solemnly. “I need you to promise me that if you feel like you’re going to regress, either because you want to, or because it’s just going to happen, that you’ll call me. I don’t want you doing this on your own anymore.”

(Y/N) sighs heavily, before nodding her head. “Pinky promise.” She says softly, holding out her pinky and smiling when John locks his pinky with hers. “Just don’t wanna bug you, John…” She says quietly.

He shakes his head. “You will never bug me, sweetheart. But it’s dangerous for you to be like this by yourself. I want to be able to help you whenever I can. I love you, so much. Last night I promised I would look after you, and I’m going to continue to look after you for the rest of my life.”

“I love you, too, John.” (Y/N) whispers softly, resting her head on his shoulder.